If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(SeattlePI)   "I'm a different person now," promises habitual identity thief   (seattlepi.com) divider line 23
    More: Dumbass  
•       •       •

1982 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Aug 2013 at 2:02 PM (48 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



23 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-08-09 02:03:03 PM
"That's my lobster! You can't have any!" cried Tom shellfishly.
 
2013-08-09 02:03:14 PM
Either that or he developed a case of multiple personality disorder.
 
2013-08-09 02:06:29 PM

theorellior: "That's my lobster! You can't have any!" cried Tom shellfishly.


We don't get enough Tom Swifties around here.
 
2013-08-09 02:06:45 PM
I loled.
 
2013-08-09 02:08:07 PM
nyopoliticker.files.wordpress.com
Soo-oory!
 
2013-08-09 02:08:20 PM
"Waiter! This chicken is too dry," exclaimed Bill peckishly.
 
2013-08-09 02:09:26 PM
"I'm a different person now," the mother of three said during a 2011 sentencing hearing.

Yes, we know. That's kinda the farking problem.
 
2013-08-09 02:13:53 PM
what you did there, I see
 
2013-08-09 02:19:37 PM

DarkSoulNoHope: Either that or he developed a case of multiple personality disorder.


Which wouldn't have been an issue if she'd just picked some personalities that someone else didn't get to first.
 
2013-08-09 02:23:37 PM
Facing a lengthy term in federal prison after stealing the identities of more than 300 people, Renton resident Alicia Cruz caught a break.

She wasn't carrying a sword when caught, was she?
 
2013-08-09 02:33:54 PM
Sounds like an ex of mine. Good riddence.
 
2013-08-09 02:36:06 PM
It's stories like this that make me think that welfare should include government-dispensed drugs. It would have to be ultimately cheaper for society to just stick a woman like this in a cheap apartment, pay for her basic bills, and give her as much meth as she wants than it is to continue the cycle of arresting, imprisoning, and trying to treat her, then dealing with all the collateral damage when she goes back to identity theft, then arresting, imprisoning and treating her again and starting the cycle over.
 
2013-08-09 02:45:12 PM
"I am going to find out where that barking noise is coming from if it takes me all night!" said Tom doggedly.
 
2013-08-09 02:58:12 PM
"I need a pencil sharpner" said Tom bluntly
 
2013-08-09 03:03:44 PM
"I'm posting on Fark from work," Tom said lazily.
 
2013-08-09 03:05:27 PM
My cousin's son (my first nephew?) is being sought by law enforcement for beating her because she wouldn't give him any money for more meth, so I have no sympathy for people like the woman featured in the article.
 
2013-08-09 03:09:30 PM
"Squee! A Swiftie thread" said Fano girlishly.
 
2013-08-09 04:23:30 PM
The mayhem and destruction of live these ID thieving farkers cost their victims should be deserving of the death penalty. They are THE lowest sort of scumbags.
 
2013-08-09 05:40:30 PM
I know my sense of humor can be pretty lame sometimes, but this is a solid HOTY candidate for me.
 
2013-08-09 06:40:14 PM

Quaker: It's stories like this that make me think that welfare should include government-dispensed drugs. It would have to be ultimately cheaper for society to just stick a woman like this in a cheap apartment, pay for her basic bills, and give her as much meth as she wants than it is to continue the cycle of arresting, imprisoning, and trying to treat her, then dealing with all the collateral damage when she goes back to identity theft, then arresting, imprisoning and treating her again and starting the cycle over.


I've always thought if I won a lottery, I'd spend the greater part of the money on creating an affordable housing complex (including singles with no kids) for non-addict people trying to get ahead in the world. The rest of the money I'd spend to buy land (way outside the city) for a squatter's camp of druggies and drunks. All the hootch and junk they crave in exchange for doing minor upkeep chores around the camp, like digging and cleaning out latrines, burying the dead, etc. And I'd charge $10 a head for imported drunks and druggies from other states and counties.
 
2013-08-09 09:09:39 PM
*audible chuckle*
 
2013-08-10 01:18:56 AM
But enough about Amy's Baking Company.
 
2013-08-10 07:55:19 AM
"I dropped the toothpaste," said Tom, crestfallen. "But I haven't had any cavities yet," continued Tom precariously.
 
Displayed 23 of 23 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report