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(Salina Post)   City commissioners meeting turns deadly serious as man brings ouija board and threatens to tattle on a mortified commissioner to his late parents   (salinapost.com) divider line 18
    More: Silly, city commission government, Commissioner Householter, commissioners  
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2536 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Aug 2013 at 11:07 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



18 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-08-06 11:16:07 PM  
that hoodoo voodoo that he does oh so well?
 
2013-08-06 11:16:33 PM  
From what we've learned from the last thread about a city council/city commissioners meeting, at least this one isn't TAKING them to their late parents..
 
2013-08-06 11:16:35 PM  
I remember years ago,i was working security at a large earth moving machine manufacturer, and we were called to walk out an employee who was being discharged. Anyway, he saw us coming, and made a running bee line to his locker. I thought he might have been going for a gun, but he pulled out some kind of homemade doll, and started doing some kind of weird chant and stabbing it with pins. The doll looked strangely like his foreman. Voodoo. Anyway, we got the guy from the islands out of the facility, and the foreman said to us..."you know, i don't believe in voodoo, or any of that crap, but when that guy starting dancing around shaking his dick and stabbing that doll that looked like me....i have to admit...it raised the hair on my neck."

/i know, i know, csb.
 
2013-08-06 11:26:14 PM  

Bit'O'Gristle: I remember years ago,i was working security at a large earth moving machine manufacturer, and we were called to walk out an employee who was being discharged. Anyway, he saw us coming, and made a running bee line to his locker. I thought he might have been going for a gun, but he pulled out some kind of homemade doll, and started doing some kind of weird chant and stabbing it with pins. The doll looked strangely like his foreman. Voodoo. Anyway, we got the guy from the islands out of the facility, and the foreman said to us..."you know, i don't believe in voodoo, or any of that crap, but when that guy starting dancing around shaking his dick and stabbing that doll that looked like me....i have to admit...it raised the hair on my neck."

/i know, i know, csb.


You might be the worst escort in the history of the company.
 
2013-08-06 11:28:48 PM  
INSIDIOUS 3: CITIZEN IDIOCY
 
2013-08-06 11:30:16 PM  

Yogimus: Bit'O'Gristle: I remember years ago,i was working security at a large earth moving machine manufacturer, and we were called to walk out an employee who was being discharged. Anyway, he saw us coming, and made a running bee line to his locker. I thought he might have been going for a gun, but he pulled out some kind of homemade doll, and started doing some kind of weird chant and stabbing it with pins. The doll looked strangely like his foreman. Voodoo. Anyway, we got the guy from the islands out of the facility, and the foreman said to us..."you know, i don't believe in voodoo, or any of that crap, but when that guy starting dancing around shaking his dick and stabbing that doll that looked like me....i have to admit...it raised the hair on my neck."

/i know, i know, csb.

You might be the worst escort in the history of the company.


/Hey, i dont mess with the voodoo dude, that was farking creepy.
 
2013-08-06 11:34:00 PM  
A Ouija board? Really? A farking Parker Brother's game? Sweet, merciful, Jesus, some people are too stupid to live.

I had a Ouija board mouse pad years ago at my office. It was funny to see how many people got freaked out about it. (I wanted to get a fake mouse with motors in it to randomly move around on the mouse pad on its own, but I never found one anywhere.)
 
2013-08-06 11:40:19 PM  

Bit'O'Gristle: Yogimus: Bit'O'Gristle: I remember years ago,i was working security at a large earth moving machine manufacturer, and we were called to walk out an employee who was being discharged. Anyway, he saw us coming, and made a running bee line to his locker. I thought he might have been going for a gun, but he pulled out some kind of homemade doll, and started doing some kind of weird chant and stabbing it with pins. The doll looked strangely like his foreman. Voodoo. Anyway, we got the guy from the islands out of the facility, and the foreman said to us..."you know, i don't believe in voodoo, or any of that crap, but when that guy starting dancing around shaking his dick and stabbing that doll that looked like me....i have to admit...it raised the hair on my neck."

/i know, i know, csb.

You might be the worst escort in the history of the company.

/Hey, i dont mess with the voodoo dude, that was farking creepy.


25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-08-06 11:44:22 PM  

Ed Grubermann: A Ouija board? Really? A farking Parker Brother's game? Sweet, merciful, Jesus, some people are too stupid to live.

I had a Ouija board mouse pad years ago at my office. It was funny to see how many people got freaked out about it. (I wanted to get a fake mouse with motors in it to randomly move around on the mouse pad on its own, but I never found one anywhere.)


I remember when I attended church all the horror stories about demonic possession and the evils of the ouji board. Apparently xtians have an extremely overactive imagination when it comes to all things magical/necromancy...
 
2013-08-06 11:44:26 PM  
I was very into the ouija board when I was a kid. Without getting into details, crazy stuff happened during ouija sessions and it got out of control.It scares the shiat out of me just talking about it.
 
2013-08-06 11:59:20 PM  
The unindicted co-conspirator
www.kataweb.it
 
2013-08-07 12:05:05 AM  

mrswood: I was very into the ouija board when I was a kid. Without getting into details, crazy stuff happened during ouija sessions and it got out of control.It scares the shiat out of me just talking about it.


Same thing happened to me only in my case it was Monopoly.  Those Parker Brother manufacturing plants must have been built on an old burial ground or something.
 
2013-08-07 12:15:45 AM  

Cytokine Storm: mrswood: I was very into the ouija board when I was a kid. Without getting into details, crazy stuff happened during ouija sessions and it got out of control.It scares the shiat out of me just talking about it.

Same thing happened to me only in my case it was Monopoly.  Those Parker Brother manufacturing plants must have been built on an old burial ground or something.


Obviously
 
2013-08-07 12:54:27 AM  
img.fark.net

i.imgur.com

Really, that's the line? Psychics are real, but crystals are voodoo?

i.imgur.com

Oh, voodoo's real. You don't want to mess with voodoo.

/You know what I do wanna mess with?
//Them titties.
 
2013-08-07 01:32:22 AM  
If his parents are dead, shouldn't they ALREADY know what he's been up to, being ghosts and all? Isn't that the whole idea about being a ghost?
 
2013-08-07 05:53:22 AM  

mrswood: I was very into the ouija board when I was a kid. Without getting into details, crazy stuff happened during ouija sessions and it got out of control.It scares the shiat out of me just talking about it.


You do realize the Ouija board is only a toy, don't you? There's nothing "magic" about it. It's just you and your friends scaring the piss out of yourselves.
 
2013-08-07 09:00:28 AM  
Ed Grubermann:
I had a Ouija board mouse pad years ago at my office. It was funny to see how many people got freaked out about it. (I wanted to get a fake mouse with motors in it to randomly move around on the mouse pad on its own, but I never found one anywhere.)


Invent one.  That would be so cool!
 
2013-08-07 11:01:02 AM  
Kansas.

Also, this sounds like half-clever redneck humor.

Citizen: "You're being a jerk, I'm gonna call your parents."
Councilman: "You'll need a ouija board to call dad, he's dead."
Citizen (with ouija board): "Oh, I called him AND your granddaddy, they both said stop being a jerk"
Councilman (to mayor): "When can I tell him to shut up?"

and scene. This has been a presentation of Small Town Political Smartassery Theater. Tune in next week for "Armed Standoff at Council Meeting: MORE Humor with Props!"
 
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