Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Gawker)   Blowing up your devil-possessed dog as part of your preparations for the coming nuclear holocaust is many things, but not animal cruelty   (gawker.com) divider line 158
    More: Stupid  
•       •       •

6352 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Aug 2013 at 2:59 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



158 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-08-06 02:34:34 PM  
maybe it is just me, but dying seems like suffering to me.
 
2013-08-06 03:01:42 PM  
Someone should blow that asshole up.
 
2013-08-06 03:02:00 PM  
I assume the asshole with be charged with that later.
 
2013-08-06 03:02:13 PM  
Whole lotta crazy going on there.

/and how would someone with an 'extensive criminal record' be able get a license for running a fireworks stand?
 
2013-08-06 03:02:38 PM  
Dog parts were found strewn across the 45-year-old's yard.

That's usually what happens when you blow up an animal.
 
2013-08-06 03:04:05 PM  
It was a Yellow Lab.  If there was ever a breed least likely to be possessed by the devil . . .
 
2013-08-06 03:04:33 PM  
Dog parts were found strewn across the 45-year-old's yard.

three people were overcome by fur.....
 
2013-08-06 03:04:56 PM  

SlothB77: maybe it is just me, but dying seems like suffering to me.


Not if it's a quick death.  It's why it's okay to shoot somebody on a battlefield but it's not okay to torture them once they're captured.
 
2013-08-06 03:05:26 PM  
Worst remake of Ol Yeller ever.
 
2013-08-06 03:06:09 PM  
They should hire him to work for the pound.
 
2013-08-06 03:06:18 PM  
Thinking your dog is possessed by the devil should cause some sort of mandatory psychiatric examination by the state.
 
2013-08-06 03:07:30 PM  
OK...a Pekenese?..no doubt. A Chihuahua?...maybe. But a Yellow Lab? You can't put evil into a Yellow Lab.
 
2013-08-06 03:07:30 PM  
Why yes; drugs were involved.

/ the dog was probably stealing the guy's meth; because, dogs have the appendages necessary to use meth.(sarcasm)

// I'm guessing drugs were involved
 
2013-08-06 03:07:36 PM  

caddisfly: It was a Yellow Lab.  If there was ever a breed least likely to be possessed by the devil . . .


If it was a chihuahua he wouldn't have been arrested.
 
2013-08-06 03:07:52 PM  
The death may have been instantanious, sure.  But the horror and fear that dog was going through as it was getting explosives strapped to it's body, would certainly qualify as cruelty.
 
2013-08-06 03:08:36 PM  
sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net
I understand it was REAL good.
 
2013-08-06 03:08:47 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: OK...a Pekenese?..no doubt. A Chihuahua?...maybe. But a Yellow Lab? You can't put evil into a Yellow Lab.


You sound like an expert on putting things into a lab....

/ I keed
 
2013-08-06 03:08:47 PM  

SlothB77: maybe it is just me, but dying seems like suffering to me.


I saw in another thread about this where the writer wondered 'if you kill a person and they do not suffer, is it still murder?'
 
2013-08-06 03:09:04 PM  
I blew chunks once
 
2013-08-06 03:09:05 PM  
Wanted for questioning
 
2013-08-06 03:09:09 PM  

caddisfly: It was a Yellow Lab.  If there was ever a breed least likely to be possessed by the devil . . .


If you need the devil, he'll be in his lab.
 
2013-08-06 03:09:36 PM  

durbnpoisn: The death may have been instantanious, sure.  But the horror and fear that dog was going through as it was getting explosives strapped to it's body, would certainly qualify as cruelty.


As sad as this all is, there is no way i'm buying that argument.  Likely the dog was just as happy as it was before...it can't reason about its future demise.
 
2013-08-06 03:09:44 PM  
bluraydatabase.co.uk
 
2013-08-06 03:10:11 PM  

blatz514: Dog parts were found strewn across the 45-year-old's yard.

That's usually what happens when you blow up an animal.


Well...if the animal being blown up is a dog. It'd be kinda weird to blow up a cow, and your front yard gets dog parts strewn about.
 
2013-08-06 03:10:16 PM  
This dick needs a swift kick to the nuts.
 
2013-08-06 03:10:17 PM  

fat boy: Worst remake of Ol Yeller ever.



Great, now we're both going to Hell.
 
2013-08-06 03:10:37 PM  

durbnpoisn: The death may have been instantanious, sure.  But the horror and fear that dog was going through as it was getting explosives strapped to it's body, would certainly qualify as cruelty.


You give dogs too much credit in their understanding of explosives.
 
2013-08-06 03:11:00 PM  
Skamania County deputies

Why do all Washington State county names sound like the titles to punk compilation albums from the early 80s?
 
2013-08-06 03:11:07 PM  

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: Thinking your dog is possessed by the devil should cause some sort of mandatory psychiatric examination by the state.


Won't happen. The DSM specifically excludes religious beliefs from the definition of a delusion.
 
2013-08-06 03:11:13 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: OK...a Pekenese?..no doubt. A Chihuahua?...maybe. But a Yellow Lab? You can't put evil into a Yellow Lab.


Sure you can.  You let the lab eat a cat.  Cats are evil.

/love my little minions from hell
 
2013-08-06 03:11:30 PM  
If it wasn't dog hunting season.....
 
2013-08-06 03:12:11 PM  

SlothB77: maybe it is just me, but dying seems like suffering to me.


It's legal to kill a dog for any reason, as long as you do it "humanely." People have their pets euthanized all the time, sometime just because they want a new puppy (people suck). So what this guy did was grotesque, but not illegally cruel.
 
2013-08-06 03:12:20 PM  

Lordserb: durbnpoisn: The death may have been instantanious, sure.  But the horror and fear that dog was going through as it was getting explosives strapped to it's body, would certainly qualify as cruelty.

As sad as this all is, there is no way i'm buying that argument.  Likely the dog was just as happy as it was before...it can't reason about its future demise.


Just like the child suicide bombers Al Qaeda uses.
 
2013-08-06 03:12:25 PM  

iheartscotch: Why yes; drugs were involved.

/ the dog was probably stealing the guy's meth; because, dogs have the appendages necessary to use meth.(sarcasm)

// I'm guessing drugs were involved


img.gawkerassets.com     I've seen black labs and chocolate labs. I've always wanted to see one of those meth labs.
 
2013-08-06 03:12:57 PM  
Anyone who doesn't think a dog can be possessed by the devil has never sat next to my German Shepherd about 45 minutes after the wife decided he could have the leftover re-fried beans.


imageshack.us

/sulpherous fumes and all...
//still not gonna explode him...
 
2013-08-06 03:13:11 PM  

Sybarite: fat boy: Worst remake of Ol Yeller ever.


Great, now we're both going to Hell.


That makes 3 of us.
 
2013-08-06 03:13:15 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-08-06 03:13:16 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: blatz514: Dog parts were found strewn across the 45-year-old's yard.

That's usually what happens when you blow up an animal.

Well...if the animal being blown up is a dog. It'd be kinda weird to blow up a cow, and your front yard gets dog parts strewn about.


I'll bet David Blaine could do it.
 
2013-08-06 03:13:43 PM  

durbnpoisn: The death may have been instantanious, sure.  But the horror and fear that dog was going through as it was getting explosives strapped to it's body, would certainly qualify as cruelty.


Oh, that dog probably thought it was a game. Labs are not noted for their brainpower.
 
2013-08-06 03:13:47 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: blatz514: Dog parts were found strewn across the 45-year-old's yard.

That's usually what happens when you blow up an animal.

Well...if the animal being blown up is a dog. It'd be kinda weird to blow up a cow, and your front yard gets dog parts strewn about.


This is true.  How about an exploding whale?

media4.s-nbcnews.com
 
2013-08-06 03:14:08 PM  
www.laneparkdogs.com
obligatory...
 
2013-08-06 03:14:27 PM  
Old Yeller, Michael Bay style.
 
2013-08-06 03:14:29 PM  

durbnpoisn: The death may have been instantanious, sure.  But the horror and fear that dog was going through as it was getting explosives strapped to it's body, would certainly qualify as cruelty.


Allow me to play devils advocate....

cl.jroo.me

I'm sure there was some horror and fear for this mongrel
 
2013-08-06 03:14:38 PM  

Fano: [bluraydatabase.co.uk image 850x457]


Poodle pumper. Hound hitter. Pooch puncher!

// arf arf arf arf ARF ARF
// I killed the President of Paraguay with a fork...how have you been?
// I love that flick
 
2013-08-06 03:15:05 PM  
That's the problem with conflating abuse and cruelty. Not all abuse is cruel, but it is still abuse.
 
2013-08-06 03:15:15 PM  
They call Amanda Bynes schizophrenic cos she smokes dope.

This guy blows up his dog cos he's possessed by Satan and thinks metal stuff is satanic and the rapture is coming, and he gets to run a fireworks stand.

Because America.
 
2013-08-06 03:15:21 PM  
Much like the GZ ruling, this is the right call.
Twisted and messed up, but he didn't violate that law.

/lots of prisoners I'm sure are dog lovers -- Darwin and karma are going to have a conference at this guy's anus
 
2013-08-06 03:15:33 PM  
Must be a local thing, because I can't take my dog out and put him down myself in my county, that counts as animal abuse.  I have to take him to a vet should the necessity ever unfortunately arise.

However, a neighbor can shoot a dog on someone else's property and get away with it.

My mother in law lost a Yellow Lab that way.  They shot it at the fence line, claimed it was threatening them.  From the other side of the fence....

I really despise the rednecks in Oregon.
 
2013-08-06 03:15:35 PM  
I always thought my ex wife was possessed by or actually the devil. Wonder if the excorism actually worked
 
2013-08-06 03:15:35 PM  

Lordserb: durbnpoisn: The death may have been instantanious, sure.  But the horror and fear that dog was going through as it was getting explosives strapped to it's body, would certainly qualify as cruelty.

As sad as this all is, there is no way i'm buying that argument.  Likely the dog was just as happy as it was before...it can't reason about its future demise.


Exactly.  At most, it sniffed at the explosives, decided they weren't snausages, and followed the "stay" instructions.

/All dogs go to heaven.
//Some are delivered by high explosives.
 
2013-08-06 03:15:40 PM  

SmellsLikePoo: Allow me to play devils advocate....


Oh for the love of God.
 
2013-08-06 03:15:49 PM  

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: durbnpoisn: The death may have been instantanious, sure.  But the horror and fear that dog was going through as it was getting explosives strapped to it's body, would certainly qualify as cruelty.

You give dogs too much credit in their understanding of explosives.


Bomb dogs understand explosives. They understand that if they smell an explosive and give the alert, they're gonna get a scooby snack.
 
2013-08-06 03:17:10 PM  
If you believe in the devil, you are a crazy and dangerous person who ought to be locked up for the safety of everyone else. Your stupid beliefs are not worth the life of anyone else, including dogs.
 
2013-08-06 03:17:16 PM  
bloodstainedink.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-08-06 03:17:59 PM  

Millennium: That's the problem with conflating abuse and cruelty. Not all abuse is cruel, but it is still abuse.


Dogs don't usually play S&M games.
 
2013-08-06 03:19:01 PM  

medius: [bloodstainedink.files.wordpress.com image 850x1279]


What a messed up movie.

//Well, I'd certainly say she had marvelous judgment, Albert, if not particularly good taste.
 
2013-08-06 03:19:18 PM  

mbillips: Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: durbnpoisn: The death may have been instantanious, sure.  But the horror and fear that dog was going through as it was getting explosives strapped to it's body, would certainly qualify as cruelty.

You give dogs too much credit in their understanding of explosives.

Bomb dogs understand explosives. They understand that if they smell an explosive and give the alert, they're gonna get a scooby snack.


No, bomb dogs understand specific scents.  They don't know that it's an explosive; they just know that they've been trained to respond to those scents.

Otherwise, their response wouldn't be to point or lie down (or whatever their alert is), it would be to run like hell out of the area.
 
2013-08-06 03:20:25 PM  
Sick asshole.  Hope he spends eternity in Hell.
 
2013-08-06 03:21:35 PM  
The law sentences you to have a collar affixed around your neck. It shall have enough explosives to blow your stupid head off. At a time not disclosed to you, the state shall detonate the device.

If you had elected me Jebus, I would have made such laws something something.
 
2013-08-06 03:22:11 PM  

blatz514: Sin_City_Superhero: blatz514: Dog parts were found strewn across the 45-year-old's yard.

That's usually what happens when you blow up an animal.

Well...if the animal being blown up is a dog. It'd be kinda weird to blow up a cow, and your front yard gets dog parts strewn about.

This is true.  How about an exploding whale?

[media4.s-nbcnews.com image 474x342]


media.kval.com
yes, how bout exploding whales
 
2013-08-06 03:25:10 PM  

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: Thinking your dog is possessed by the devil should cause some sort of mandatory psychiatric examination by the state.


This. Aren't his babblings about demon-possessed dogs and pieces of metal a sufficient reason to involuntarily commit him for at least 24 hours? There's your "probable cause" right there.
 
2013-08-06 03:25:21 PM  

Ivo Shandor: Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: Thinking your dog is possessed by the devil should cause some sort of mandatory psychiatric examination by the state.

Won't happen. The DSM specifically excludes religious beliefs from the definition of a delusion.


I'm sure someone will hit on this, but thinking your dog is possessed by the devil isn't a religious belief.

Believing in the Devil is a religious belief. Thinking the dog is possessed by him is psychosis.
 
2013-08-06 03:26:02 PM  

blatz514: Sin_City_Superhero: blatz514: Dog parts were found strewn across the 45-year-old's yard.

That's usually what happens when you blow up an animal.

Well...if the animal being blown up is a dog. It'd be kinda weird to blow up a cow, and your front yard gets dog parts strewn about.

This is true.  How about an exploding whale?

[media4.s-nbcnews.com image 474x342]


Get that thing out of here it's bleeding all over the scooters!
 
2013-08-06 03:27:18 PM  

gshepnyc: If you believe in the devil, you are a crazy and dangerous person who ought to be locked up for the safety of everyone else. Your stupid beliefs are not worth the life of anyone else, including dogs.


That's devil talk right there.
 
2013-08-06 03:27:38 PM  
Crazy asshole.
 
2013-08-06 03:28:15 PM  
Wait, where did he buy his inflatable "Devil-Possessed Dog?"

How long do they take to blow up?

How much win would that be at halloween?
 
2013-08-06 03:28:56 PM  

blatz514: Sin_City_Superhero: blatz514: Dog parts were found strewn across the 45-year-old's yard.

That's usually what happens when you blow up an animal.

Well...if the animal being blown up is a dog. It'd be kinda weird to blow up a cow, and your front yard gets dog parts strewn about.

This is true.  How about an exploding whale?

[media4.s-nbcnews.com image 474x342]



Chuckling because my law school torts exam include an exploding whale.
 
2013-08-06 03:29:39 PM  

durbnpoisn: The death may have been instantanious, sure. But the horror and fear that dog was going through as it was getting explosives strapped to it's body, would certainly qualify as cruelty.


Horror?  Fear?  I had a lab once, his probable reaction to having the explosives put on him would most likely be along the lines of 'Yay!  They're paying attention to me!' along with intense sniffing of the explosives.  Not because he knows what they are, but because they're *different*.

Staked out in the yard for the detonation?  That'd be the bad bit.
 
2013-08-06 03:30:09 PM  
www.bet.com
 
2013-08-06 03:30:56 PM  

mbillips: SlothB77: maybe it is just me, but dying seems like suffering to me.

It's legal to kill a dog for any reason, as long as you do it "humanely." People have their pets euthanized all the time, sometime just because they want a new puppy (people suck). So what this guy did was grotesque, but not illegally cruel.


Does the euthanization have to be performed by a licensed vet or pound staffer or can any crazy fark do it for any reason they please?
 
2013-08-06 03:33:36 PM  

inner ted: blatz514: Sin_City_Superhero: blatz514: Dog parts were found strewn across the 45-year-old's yard.

That's usually what happens when you blow up an animal.

Well...if the animal being blown up is a dog. It'd be kinda weird to blow up a cow, and your front yard gets dog parts strewn about.

This is true.  How about an exploding whale?

[media4.s-nbcnews.com image 474x342]

[media.kval.com image 405x304]
yes, how bout exploding whales


Says so much about how different the world is now. I just cannot imagine any location getting the go-ahead to strap dynamite to a whale carcass and let spectators stand and park close enough to have whale bits raining down on them. It was glorious as an artifact of its time. I don't approve of what they did, but I appreciate having seen it. Humans are weird.

The asshat in the article however, needs to test one of those surgically implanted anus grenades AQ is working on.
 
2013-08-06 03:34:03 PM  

durbnpoisn: The death may have been instantanious, sure.  But the horror and fear that dog was going through as it was getting explosives strapped to it's body, would certainly qualify as cruelty.


I find it highly unlikely that the dog has even a rudimentary concept of bombs or what they do.

/ *Indiana Jones* HE BELONGS IN AN INSTITUTION. */Indiana Jones*
 
2013-08-06 03:35:13 PM  

justtray: Ivo Shandor: Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: Thinking your dog is possessed by the devil should cause some sort of mandatory psychiatric examination by the state.

Won't happen. The DSM specifically excludes religious beliefs from the definition of a delusion.

I'm sure someone will hit on this, but thinking your dog is possessed by the devil isn't a religious belief.

Believing in the Devil is a religious belief. Thinking the dog is possessed by him is psychosis.


Unless the dog IS possessed by the devil. Then what, smart guy?
 
2013-08-06 03:36:39 PM  

freewill: *Indiana Jones* HE BELONGS IN AN INSTITUTION. */Indiana Jones*


SO DO YOU
 
2013-08-06 03:37:00 PM  

Leo Bloom's Freakout: Says so much about how different the world is now. I just cannot imagine any location getting the go-ahead to strap dynamite to a whale carcass and let spectators stand and park close enough to have whale bits raining down on them. It was glorious as an artifact of its time. I don't approve of what they did, but I appreciate having seen it. Humans are weird.

The asshat in the article however, needs to test one of those surgically implanted anus grenades AQ is working on.


Actually, IIRC, it blew up due the gases that were in the dead whale.
 
2013-08-06 03:39:42 PM  
Did he throw a lit stick of dynamite and says "Get it boy!"?
 
2013-08-06 03:41:44 PM  

Ivo Shandor: Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: Thinking your dog is possessed by the devil should cause some sort of mandatory psychiatric examination by the state.

Won't happen. The DSM specifically excludes religious beliefs from the definition of a delusion.


Now that's crazy. x 2.
 
2013-08-06 03:42:02 PM  
Raining Bacon!
 
2013-08-06 03:42:35 PM  

justtray: Ivo Shandor: Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: Thinking your dog is possessed by the devil should cause some sort of mandatory psychiatric examination by the state.

Won't happen. The DSM specifically excludes religious beliefs from the definition of a delusion.

I'm sure someone will hit on this, but thinking your dog is possessed by the devil isn't a religious belief.

Believing in the Devil is a religious belief. Thinking the dog is possessed by him is psychosis.


OK, so...
Pigs possessed by demons - religion
Dog possessed by the devil - psychosis

Seems legit.
 
2013-08-06 03:48:01 PM  

Okieboy: I blew chunks once


Was chunks the dog or the cat?
 
2013-08-06 03:49:09 PM  

Dr Dreidel: freewill: *Indiana Jones* HE BELONGS IN AN INSTITUTION. */Indiana Jones*

SO DO YOU


*clap*
*clap*
*clap*

Very good, then.

/ Actually did Nazi see that one coming.
 
2013-08-06 03:49:36 PM  
Prisoners, generally speaking, do not deserve to be housed with this scumbag.  11 on the crazy scale.
 
2013-08-06 03:50:46 PM  
You over there, muscled redneck....yes, you!  My dick is possessed by the fiery demon of Satan and I need a mouth in which to douse the flame.

It's not rape if he didn't suffer and my only motivation was my religious beliefs.
 
2013-08-06 03:51:11 PM  
 
2013-08-06 03:51:42 PM  

Ivo Shandor: justtray: Ivo Shandor: Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: Thinking your dog is possessed by the devil should cause some sort of mandatory psychiatric examination by the state.

Won't happen. The DSM specifically excludes religious beliefs from the definition of a delusion.

I'm sure someone will hit on this, but thinking your dog is possessed by the devil isn't a religious belief.

Believing in the Devil is a religious belief. Thinking the dog is possessed by him is psychosis.

OK, so...
Pigs possessed by demons - religion
Dog possessed by the devil - psychosis

Seems legit.


My fundamentalism is a bit rusty, but aren't demons supposed to do the possessing? The devil doesn't possess anyone IIRC.
 
2013-08-06 03:52:11 PM  
We need to employ him to blow up all the pitts around here.  All dogs actually, since all they do is drain resources of the country.  Ask yourself, do you own a dog for your pleasure or to save a domesticated animal from death?
 
2013-08-06 03:53:08 PM  
No one ever considers the Renegade Angel angle...
 
2013-08-06 03:53:12 PM  
 
2013-08-06 03:53:35 PM  

MrHappyRotter: You over there, muscled redneck....yes, you!  My dick is possessed by the fiery demon of Satan and I need a mouth in which to douse the flame.

It's not rape if he didn't suffer and my only motivation was my religious beliefs.


Why not go all the way and say AIDS is a satanic curse, and the only way to cure it is to rape a virgin?

That's an established religious belief.
 
2013-08-06 03:53:59 PM  
Yeah. That guy just screams crazy and I don't see this ending well. I predict we'll be reading about him again in the future....after he's blown up his neighbors/local abortion clinic/some bar he doesn't like because "they're possessed by the devil".
 
2013-08-06 03:55:27 PM  

Suckmaster Burstingfoam: MrHappyRotter: You over there, muscled redneck....yes, you!  My dick is possessed by the fiery demon of Satan and I need a mouth in which to douse the flame.

It's not rape if he didn't suffer and my only motivation was my religious beliefs.

Why not go all the way and say AIDS is a satanic curse, and the only way to cure it is to rape a virgin?

That's an established religious belief.


Because virgins aren't really that much fun, so I'd rather have an experienced man with some muscle.  So stop persecuting me for my religious beliefs.  And open up wide.  You've got a cavity I'd like to fill with the sins of Jesus.
 
2013-08-06 03:55:28 PM  
thetortoiseruns.files.wordpress.com
Frowns upon these shenanigans

/hot
 
2013-08-06 03:56:30 PM  
Oops....missed your post Dahnkster.  Sorry.
 
2013-08-06 03:57:15 PM  

freewill: Dr Dreidel: freewill: *Indiana Jones* HE BELONGS IN AN INSTITUTION. */Indiana Jones*

SO DO YOU

*clap*
*clap*
*clap*

Very good, then.

/ Actually did Nazi see that one coming.


I can't hear the setup in any context without at least thinking the punchline.
 
2013-08-06 03:59:18 PM  
Thingster


Okieboy: I blew chunks once

Was chunks the dog or the cat?


Was it Bubbles the Clowns homeless brother?
 
2013-08-06 03:59:20 PM  
The greatest trick the devil ever played was making you believe that he wasn't in your dog. That'll show 'em.

/poor dog, hope asshole gets the pineapple when he gets to hell
 
2013-08-06 04:00:36 PM  
I am
Dog eyes
Dog mouth
Dog legs
I am
Doll arms
Big veins
Doll bait
 
2013-08-06 04:02:34 PM  
No you idiot, the devil is the details, not the tails.
 
2013-08-06 04:03:10 PM  
The religious are too stupid to live.
 
2013-08-06 04:03:25 PM  

Suckmaster Burstingfoam: My fundamentalism is a bit rusty, but aren't demons supposed to do the possessing? The devil doesn't possess anyone IIRC.


He usually sub-contracts, but I don't think there's anything which actually prevents the big D from doing it himself if he so chooses.
 
2013-08-06 04:04:03 PM  
Also an appropriate place for,

. . .that's "rectum", Johnny.
-wreckedum? It killed the hell out of him!
 
2013-08-06 04:05:11 PM  

kortex: We need to employ him to blow up all the pitts around here.  All dogs actually, since all they do is drain resources of the country.  Ask yourself, do you own a dog for your pleasure or to save a domesticated animal from death?


Why not both?
 
2013-08-06 04:10:23 PM  

Ivo Shandor: justtray: Ivo Shandor: Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: Thinking your dog is possessed by the devil should cause some sort of mandatory psychiatric examination by the state.

Won't happen. The DSM specifically excludes religious beliefs from the definition of a delusion.

I'm sure someone will hit on this, but thinking your dog is possessed by the devil isn't a religious belief.

Believing in the Devil is a religious belief. Thinking the dog is possessed by him is psychosis.

OK, so...
Pigs possessed by demons - religion
Dog possessed by the devil - psychosis

Seems legit.


You're allowed to believe what you want, but your understanding of the DSM is factually flawed.

There's a significant difference between - "I believe that demons can possess animals," and "I believe my dog is possessed by a demon so I need to kill it."

Schizophrenics commonly invoke religious dogma and are still accurately diagnosed despite it.

For example, a very normal behavior of a lab may be to roll around in the grass on it's back. A crazy person might look at this as a sign a demon has possessed it..... and.... why am I even continually this ridiculous conversation?
 
2013-08-06 04:16:04 PM  

Arkanaut: SlothB77: maybe it is just me, but dying seems like suffering to me.

Not if it's a quick death.  It's why it's okay to shoot somebody on a battlefield but it's not okay to torture them once they're captured.


I'm pretty sure a gut shot would be considered suffering.
 
2013-08-06 04:26:04 PM  
Hmm..so by that twisted logic, if i blew you up, you people who decided this, that wouldn't be "cruel"? Because you die quick? Murdering a dog is cruel, no matter how you do it. So by this logic, its not cruel to kill, just if something suffers.

/wow...the mind boggles.
 
2013-08-06 04:27:15 PM  

Okieboy: I blew chunks once


/the clown? Wow..i didn't know you rolled that way. Not that i'm judging, just saying.
 
2013-08-06 04:31:59 PM  

Bit'O'Gristle: Hmm..so by that twisted logic, if i blew you up, you people who decided this, that wouldn't be "cruel"? Because you die quick? Murdering a dog is cruel, no matter how you do it. So by this logic, its not cruel to kill, just if something suffers.

/wow...the mind boggles.


Well, it's not really quite that mind-boggling. Cruelty is defined as causing pain or suffering, to be cruel is to disregard or even intentionally and sadistically inflict the pain and suffering that you're causing.

Blowing a person up is murder. Cruelty is not an essential part of the definition of murder. The murder statute does not cover dogs.
 
2013-08-06 04:35:29 PM  
http://youtu.be/HaWtWAvUb-4

Unavailable for comment
 
2013-08-06 04:36:33 PM  

SlothB77: maybe it is just me, but dying seems like suffering to me.


You have proof of that?
 
2013-08-06 04:37:10 PM  
Attention people of the US:
This man is severely mentally ill.  He's not going to be able to obtain help on his own.  He has access to explosives.  He's is one of potentially hundreds of thousands in the US who are in a similar situation (expect for maybe the explosives thing).  Your move.

/seriously our best answer is to imprison these people?
 
2013-08-06 04:38:01 PM  
He needs to be given a one way trip to Somalia.
 
2013-08-06 04:38:32 PM  

durbnpoisn: The death may have been instantanious, sure.  But the horror and fear that dog was going through as it was getting explosives strapped to it's body, would certainly qualify as cruelty.


Did scientists discover a way to read dog's thoughts that I hadn't heard of?
 
2013-08-06 04:41:07 PM  
freewill:

Blowing a person up is murder. Cruelty is not an essential part of the definition of murder. The murder statute does not cover dogs.

And hopefully never does.
 
2013-08-06 04:41:37 PM  

angry bunny: Attention people of the US:
This man is severely mentally ill.  He's not going to be able to obtain help on his own.  He has access to explosives.  He's is one of potentially hundreds of thousands in the US who are in a similar situation (expect for maybe the explosives thing).  Your move.

/seriously our best answer is to imprison these people?


Our best bet is to give him access to less stable explosives.
 
2013-08-06 04:42:20 PM  

blatz514: Leo Bloom's Freakout: Says so much about how different the world is now. I just cannot imagine any location getting the go-ahead to strap dynamite to a whale carcass and let spectators stand and park close enough to have whale bits raining down on them. It was glorious as an artifact of its time. I don't approve of what they did, but I appreciate having seen it. Humans are weird.

The asshat in the article however, needs to test one of those surgically implanted anus grenades AQ is working on.

Actually, IIRC, it blew up due the gases that were in the dead whale.


I don't know why I know so much about exploding whales... however, the one on the beach is from 1970 when a beached whale was exploded to dispose of the carcass: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exploding_whale.

The one that blew up due to gasses was more of a spontaneous explosion in Taiwan (referenced further down article) while being transported through the city streets.

076dd0a50e0c1255009e-bd4b8aabaca29897bc751dfaf75b290c.r40.cf1.rackcdn.com
 
2013-08-06 04:42:23 PM  

angry bunny: Attention people of the US:
This man is severely mentally ill.  He's not going to be able to obtain help on his own.  He has access to explosives.  He's is one of potentially hundreds of thousands in the US who are in a similar situation (expect for maybe the explosives thing).  Your move.

/seriously our best answer is to imprison these people?


No, our best answer is to mock him and inundate the thread about him with sarcasm from the comfort of our homes.
 
2013-08-06 04:45:31 PM  
Doggy woggies are awesome. Don't explode them, please.
 
2013-08-06 04:46:46 PM  

George Babbitt: Did scientists discover a way to read dog's thoughts that I hadn't heard of?


Yes they did.
 
2013-08-06 04:47:50 PM  

MrHappyRotter: angry bunny: Attention people of the US:
This man is severely mentally ill.  He's not going to be able to obtain help on his own.  He has access to explosives.  He's is one of potentially hundreds of thousands in the US who are in a similar situation (expect for maybe the explosives thing).  Your move.

/seriously our best answer is to imprison these people?

No, our best answer is to mock him and inundate the thread about him with sarcasm from the comfort of our homes.

farm4.staticflickr.com

Don't judge me!!!!

/Hot
 
2013-08-06 04:48:53 PM  

Ivo Shandor: George Babbitt: Did scientists discover a way to read dog's thoughts that I hadn't heard of?

Yes they did.


Dead link. Florida. BS.

/disqualified
 
2013-08-06 04:50:07 PM  

Bit'O'Gristle: Hmm..so by that twisted logic, if i blew you up, you people who decided this, that wouldn't be "cruel"? Because you die quick?


Well, assuming you blew me up *quickly*, and didn't just blow my lower half partially off or something so that I died via slow-bleedout.

What I think the lot of you defining *any* murder as 'cruel' are failing to see is that they're two different standards.  Just because you didn't kill me in a cruel fashion doesn't mean that you didn't still commit murder.

Cruelty:Torture - does not have to be fatal
Murder:Illegal deliberate killing(actual definitions vary).

You can murder without being cruel, and be cruel without murdering.

Killing your own dog happens to be legal, and indeed is sometimes the most humane thing to do.  Being cruel to said dog IS illegal.

So killing a dog quick so it doesn't suffer is good - Opiate overdose, gunshot to the head, 'sufficient' explosives, etc...  Killing it slowly via something like drowning, beating it to death, vivisection, and such is illegal.
 
2013-08-06 04:58:39 PM  

JesseL: angry bunny: Attention people of the US:
This man is severely mentally ill.  He's not going to be able to obtain help on his own.  He has access to explosives.  He's is one of potentially hundreds of thousands in the US who are in a similar situation (expect for maybe the explosives thing).  Your move.

/seriously our best answer is to imprison these people?

Our best bet is to give him access to less stable explosives.


Dammit I should not have laughed as hard as I did...
 
2013-08-06 05:00:08 PM  

inner ted: blatz514: Sin_City_Superhero: blatz514: Dog parts were found strewn across the 45-year-old's yard.

That's usually what happens when you blow up an animal.

Well...if the animal being blown up is a dog. It'd be kinda weird to blow up a cow, and your front yard gets dog parts strewn about.

This is true.  How about an exploding whale?

[media4.s-nbcnews.com image 474x342]

[media.kval.com image 405x304]


yes, how bout exploding whales


Came for this reference.

It's rainin' blubber, hallelujah!!!
 
2013-08-06 05:01:30 PM  
Blowing up your devil-possessed dog as part of your preparations for the coming nuclear holocaust is many things, but not animal cruelty

As god is my witness, I didn't see the word "up" in this the first time.
 
2013-08-06 05:04:15 PM  
Read half the comments.

No Cujo reference?
 
2013-08-06 05:04:18 PM  
">Okieboy: I blew chunks once

 Thingster:Was chunks the dog or the cat? Congrats!  You win for getting the old joke right.

/but you don't understand!  chunks was my dog!!!!
//that'sthejoke.jpg
 
2013-08-06 05:13:57 PM  
He was also in the process of preparing for a nuclear "rapture" and had removed all the metal objects from his home because they were inhabited by "the souls of demons."

I do admire his strength of character.  How many of you would just say 'fark it god, this makes living really hard' if god told you to move all metal objects from your home.

And what kind of metal objects, magnetic, non-magnetic.  What about porcelain knives.  I want to get inside this guys head.
 
2013-08-06 05:16:49 PM  
All he wanted was a Devil Dog. Just one Devil Dog. And maybe a Pepsi to go with it.
 
2013-08-06 05:18:42 PM  

Enemabag Jones: He was also in the process of preparing for a nuclear "rapture" and had removed all the metal objects from his home because they were inhabited by "the souls of demons."

I do admire his strength of character.  How many of you would just say 'fark it god, this makes living really hard' if god told you to move all metal objects from your home.

And what kind of metal objects, magnetic, non-magnetic.  What about porcelain knives.  I want to get inside this guys head.


I think he means all Iron Maiden, Pre-Black Album Metallica, Sepultura, etc. albums. That includes pewter castings of Eddie the Head, concert T-shirts with the sleeves ripped off, and air brushed leather jackets.
 
2013-08-06 05:18:44 PM  

Bit'O'Gristle: Hmm..so by that twisted logic, if i blew you up, you people who decided this, that wouldn't be "cruel"? Because you die quick? Murdering a dog is cruel, no matter how you do it. So by this logic, its not cruel to kill, just if something suffers.

/wow...the mind boggles.


What if my dog is suffering and I kill it?
 
2013-08-06 05:20:02 PM  

Hector Remarkable: All he wanted was a Devil Dog. Just one Devil Dog. And maybe a Pepsi to go with it.


He went to YOUR schools, He went to YOUR churches. He went to YOUR institutionalized learning facilities!
 
2013-08-06 05:30:06 PM  
Molavian
Bit'O'Gristle: Hmm..so by that twisted logic, if i blew you up, you people who decided this, that wouldn't be "cruel"? Because you die quick? Murdering a dog is cruel, no matter how you do it. So by this logic, its not cruel to kill, just if something suffers.
/wow...the mind boggles.
What if my dog is suffering and I kill it?


Have a family member that takes cares of animals. She takes in a dog that is not doing well. She lets it pass away outside. Neighbor sees it, contacts SPCA and she is put on a shiat list by busybodies on a personal mission who don't understand the situation.

Luckily no law enforcement was involved.
 
2013-08-06 05:36:52 PM  
fark you you farking retarded piece of farking christian shiat. fark your whole religion and the stupid shiat it makes people do. fark it all.
 
2013-08-06 05:39:17 PM  

SlothB77: maybe it is just me, but dying seems like suffering to me.


If all death equates to animal cruelty, then any vet who euthanizes an animal, or any slaughterhouse that kills cattle/pigs/sheep/etc. would be guilty.  That would make it an absurd standard to use.

...and it doesn't even make rational sense, as not all means of death are capable of causing pain (i.e., it happens too fast to register -- like a bullet through the brain or being literally blown up -- or it happens under sedation/anesthesia).
 
2013-08-06 05:40:15 PM  
Make sure you stand far enough away...

tonyalehman.files.wordpress.com

/nutty people will do nutty things.
 
2013-08-06 05:46:08 PM  

Bit'O'Gristle: Hmm..so by that twisted logic, if i blew you up, you people who decided this, that wouldn't be "cruel"? Because you die quick? Murdering a dog is cruel, no matter how you do it. So by this logic, its not cruel to kill, just if something suffers.

/wow...the mind boggles.


Murder (i.e., killing humans) is illegal for other reasons besides simply causing physical pain.  Humans have a much more sophisticated sense of "self" and understanding of mortality, so while the actual act might not cause physical pain (if it was done quickly enough), there are other considerations that don't apply to animals.  For instance, the psychological lead-up to death could be cruel in itself, and indeed mock-executions are a fairly common form of torture.

If you take a sick or injured dog out behind the shed with a rifle, he/she has absolutely no idea what that implies, and would happily continue eating a steak out of his bowl until suddenly he wasn't eating that steak anymore.
 
2013-08-06 05:54:06 PM  

Thingster: Okieboy: I blew chunks once

Was chunks the dog or the cat?


Okieboy.  Call me.

/AKA Chunks
 
2013-08-06 06:02:40 PM  

jshine: Bit'O'Gristle: Hmm..so by that twisted logic, if i blew you up, you people who decided this, that wouldn't be "cruel"? Because you die quick? Murdering a dog is cruel, no matter how you do it. So by this logic, its not cruel to kill, just if something suffers.

/wow...the mind boggles.

Murder (i.e., killing humans) is illegal for other reasons besides simply causing physical pain.  Humans have a much more sophisticated sense of "self" and understanding of mortality, so while the actual act might not cause physical pain (if it was done quickly enough), there are other considerations that don't apply to animals.  For instance, the psychological lead-up to death could be cruel in itself, and indeed mock-executions are a fairly common form of torture.

If you take a sick or injured dog out behind the shed with a rifle, he/she has absolutely no idea what that implies, and would happily continue eating a steak out of his bowl until suddenly he wasn't eating that steak anymore.


On the cruel, torturous aspect, killing another person where you come up behind them and shoot them through the brain or neck causing instant death with no preemptory knowledge, or same scenario in their sleep, would not be cruel. It would be murder, probably first-degree depending on the additional circumstances, but not cruel. There was no suffering, psychological or otherwise leading up to the act. The act was swift and complete.

With animals, as has been noted, they do not sense context, impending danger, etc. in the same way people do. If they have never seen someone killed with explosives or a gun, they are unlikely to fear those things. So they may resent being put in a silly costume, but they would not recognize the ugly sweater as a death-vest. It's not cruel in the strictest legal sense, but it suggests the person doing it is depraved and cruel and messed up in a truly fundamental way.

To put it another way, the person doing it may get the jollies of someone who enjoys torturing things and being cruel, but since the recipient didn't actually experience fear, pain, panic, then it's not literally cruel. That person is just projecting onto the victim. Otherwise, sexual predators who claim their victims "enjoyed" it could use that as a defense. It's about what the victim actually experiences, not what the perpetrator thinks they felt.
 
2013-08-06 06:14:50 PM  

Leo Bloom's Freakout: So they may resent being put in a silly costume, but they would not recognize the ugly sweater as a death-vest.


I'd say 'smelly' or 'restrictive' sweater instead.  They don't really appreciate 'beauty' or 'ugly'.  But they do trigger on scent much more readily.

My brother had a dog(small shorthair) that understood that people paid more attention to him when he was wearing his little coat - ergo he loved having it put on.  Probably because:
1.  People are paying attention to him during the dressing
2.  Dressing is indicator of going for a *walk* (they also triggered on leashes)
3.  Wearing the coat leads to more attention & treats (he loved attention)

Ergo, you pulled that sweater out he'd be jumping around right next to you and twirling in circles.  Getting him calmed down enough to actually put it on took a bit more effort.
 
2013-08-06 06:17:05 PM  

RoyHobbs22: Someone should blow that asshole up.


What about the rest of him?
 
2013-08-06 06:22:10 PM  
 I don't see what all the fuss is about. The man made it clear the dog was possessed by demons put there by his Ex-girlfriend. He lays it all out pretty clearly, besides look at him he looks like a man who knows when a dog is possessed by demons. I'll be honest it all looks on the level to me. Let the poor man go because he has serious work to get back to preparin for the Nuclear rapture.

 On the up side he'll always be remembered as the guy who blew up his dog preparing for the End Times.
 
2013-08-06 06:24:02 PM  

FrancoFile: Whole lotta crazy going on there.

/and how would someone with an 'extensive criminal record' be able get a license for running a fireworks stand?


When I did it one summer it was contract work and required no licensing I was aware of.  This was Texas and 15(ish) years ago though.

I believe any licensing was held by the company rep who only came on site a handful of times to drop off more goods.
 
2013-08-06 06:29:14 PM  

HypnozombieX: On the up side he'll always be remembered as the guy who blew up his dog preparing for the End Times.


It's better than the guy who attempted to 'fish' with dynamite and had his retriever jump in to collect the thrown 'toy', then panic from his human panicking and heading(still carrying the lit dynamite) to hide underneath his truck...
 
2013-08-06 06:30:45 PM  

Firethorn: HypnozombieX: On the up side he'll always be remembered as the guy who blew up his dog preparing for the End Times.

It's better than the guy who attempted to 'fish' with dynamite and had his retriever jump in to collect the thrown 'toy', then panic from his human panicking and heading(still carrying the lit dynamite) to hide underneath his truck...


BOUDREAUX!
 
2013-08-06 06:39:45 PM  
It would be amusing if someone mailed the guy a box of Hostess Devil Dogs. Preferably on the anniversary of his dog's death.
 
2013-08-06 07:13:58 PM  

Bit'O'Gristle: Hmm..so by that twisted logic, if i blew you up, you people who decided this, that wouldn't be "cruel"? Because you die quick? Murdering a dog is cruel, no matter how you do it. So by this logic, its not cruel to kill, just if something suffers.

/wow...the mind boggles.


The problem with your logic is that if it was written in law that killing an animal is cruel and thus illegal then you are casting a really, really wide net:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animal

IANAL but the way I read the law it is animal cruelty in the first degree to put a fly in a jar and leave it to die.
 
2013-08-06 07:15:24 PM  
This guy will be a crowd favorite in prison.
They'll fix him right up.
 
2013-08-06 07:15:40 PM  

fat boy: Worst remake of Ol Yeller ever.


// Bangs head repeatedly on table
 
2013-08-06 07:19:47 PM  
Hang this guy.
 
2013-08-06 07:42:18 PM  

Amos Quito: inner ted: blatz514: Sin_City_Superhero: blatz514: Dog parts were found strewn across the 45-year-old's yard.

That's usually what happens when you blow up an animal.

Well...if the animal being blown up is a dog. It'd be kinda weird to blow up a cow, and your front yard gets dog parts strewn about.

This is true.  How about an exploding whale?

[media4.s-nbcnews.com image 474x342]

[media.kval.com image 405x304]

yes, how bout exploding whales


Came for this reference.

It's rainin' blubber, hallelujah!!!


me too. not enough blubber rain
 
2013-08-06 07:54:00 PM  

justtray: Ivo Shandor: justtray: Ivo Shandor: Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: Thinking your dog is possessed by the devil should cause some sort of mandatory psychiatric examination by the state.

Won't happen. The DSM specifically excludes religious beliefs from the definition of a delusion.

I'm sure someone will hit on this, but thinking your dog is possessed by the devil isn't a religious belief.

Believing in the Devil is a religious belief. Thinking the dog is possessed by him is psychosis.

OK, so...
Pigs possessed by demons - religion
Dog possessed by the devil - psychosis

Seems legit.

You're allowed to believe what you want, but your understanding of the DSM is factually flawed.

There's a significant difference between - "I believe that demons can possess animals," and "I believe my dog is possessed by a demon so I need to kill it."

Schizophrenics commonly invoke religious dogma and are still accurately diagnosed despite it.

For example, a very normal behavior of a lab may be to roll around in the grass on it's back. A crazy person might look at this as a sign a demon has possessed it..... and.... why am I even continually this ridiculous conversation?


My hypothesis:
imgs.xkcd.com
 
2013-08-06 08:29:28 PM  
How about a possessed CAT?
s23.postimg.org
 
2013-08-07 01:00:41 AM  
The guy sounds like a schizophrenic with auditory or visual hallucinations that should be locked away. Or better yet, let's tie M-80's to him and blow off little chunks at a time until dead.
 
2013-08-07 02:06:35 AM  

FrancoFile: ...how would someone with an 'extensive criminal record' be able get a license for running a fireworks stand?


He votes Republican.
 
2013-08-07 03:29:24 AM  
I'm betting Christians and no matter what, what is important is that murder is involved

/Not like Sicilians
//they only kill themselves
 
2013-08-07 10:07:57 AM  

sigdiamond2000: Skamania County deputies

Why do all Washington State county names sound like the titles to punk compilation albums from the early 80s?


Apparently, they're really tough on littering up there. If they catch you, they'll make you pickitup pickitup pickitup.
 
2013-08-07 10:24:23 AM  
"Dillingham, a fireworks stand owner with a lengthy criminal record..."  Now there's a winning combo.
 
2013-08-07 01:50:12 PM  
He was also in the process of preparing for a nuclear "rapture" and had removed all the metal objects from his home because they were inhabited by "the souls of demons."

So, demon souls are magnetic?
 
Displayed 158 of 158 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report