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(Daily Mail)   The results are in and women agree: Men are basically good for nothing other than killing spiders, cooking with fire, and drinking   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 208
    More: Obvious  
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8062 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Aug 2013 at 7:30 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-08-06 12:15:04 AM
And often all at the same time.
 
2013-08-06 12:17:28 AM

phlegmmo: And often all at the same time.


Unintentional multitasking.
 
2013-08-06 12:18:37 AM
FTFA:
Men can also be relied upon to buy the wrong sized clothes for their partner



That would be a lot easier to do correctly if women's sizes made any gosh darn sense, and if the same size between different brands and different stores was always the same actual size.
 
2013-08-06 12:30:42 AM

phlegmmo: And often all at the same time.


My flaming drunk tarantulas are always a hit at the church potluck.
 
2013-08-06 12:44:37 AM

TuteTibiImperes: FTFA:
Men can also be relied upon to buy the wrong sized clothes for their partner


That would be a lot easier to do correctly if women's sizes made any gosh darn sense, and if the same size between different brands and different stores was always the same actual size.


Ever heard this before?
"If you really loved me you'd make the effort to get it right."
 
2013-08-06 01:01:20 AM

phlegmmo: And often all at the same time.


Spiders taste better raw.
 
2013-08-06 01:03:36 AM

TuteTibiImperes: FTFA:
Men can also be relied upon to buy the wrong sized clothes for their partner


That would be a lot easier to do correctly if women's sizes made any gosh darn sense, and if the same size between different brands and different stores was always the same actual size.


and if women would readily admit their size when asked.  Honey, those sizes are cryptic, so whether you tell me you're a size 13 or 15, I'm not going to suddenly think you're any fatter than I thought before.
 
2013-08-06 01:10:17 AM
-The males in my house are terrified of spiders.  Killing spiders is my job.
-My husband doesn't drink.
-He's pretty good with the bbq, but is teaching me so that he doesn't have to anymore.

I guess I keep him around for sex, massages, cuddles, and someone to snark with.
 
2013-08-06 01:15:04 AM

TuteTibiImperes: FTFA:
Men can also be relied upon to buy the wrong sized clothes for their partner


That would be a lot easier to do correctly if women's sizes made any gosh darn sense, and if the same size between different brands and different stores was always the same actual size.


I learned the reason women take so long to shop is because the MUST try on everything to make sure it fits.  A size 4 is not always a size 4.  While I can go in, grab a stack of medium polo shirts and a couple of 30x32 Wrangers and I'm done.
 
2013-08-06 01:16:35 AM

bring to a festering boil: "If you really loved me you'd make the effort to get it right."


Any sentence that starts with "if you love me ..." is a trap.
 
2013-08-06 01:47:41 AM

OgreMagi: bring to a festering boil: "If you really loved me you'd make the effort to get it right."

Any sentence that starts with "if you love me ..." is a trap.


Along with: "Does this _____ make my _____ look _____?"
 
2013-08-06 01:52:43 AM
So men are crap at useless skills like buying other people's clothing and putting up with your awful in laws sober.

Who was the woman who runs a private space exploration company with feasible plans to mine comets for heavy elements and a moon base, again? Her name must have slipped my mind.
 
2013-08-06 02:11:08 AM

doglover: So men are crap at useless skills like buying other people's clothing and putting up with your awful in laws sober.

Who was the woman who runs a private space exploration company with feasible plans to mine comets for heavy elements and a moon base, again? Her name must have slipped my mind.



Hazel Stone.
 
2013-08-06 02:31:16 AM

optikeye: doglover: So men are crap at useless skills like buying other people's clothing and putting up with your awful in laws sober.

Who was the woman who runs a private space exploration company with feasible plans to mine comets for heavy elements and a moon base, again? Her name must have slipped my mind.


Hazel Stone.


Hazel Stone is a fictional character created by Robert A. Heinlein
 
2013-08-06 02:32:58 AM

phlegmmo: And often all at the same time.


They say women are superior multi-taskers but men are more driven with single tasks. My ass. My father could drive a stick in city traffic while smoking a cigarette and drinking coffee while smacking the left side of my face. The man had skills.

/it was a Corvette, so there wasn't room to scoot over even when you saw that backhand coming
//sounds like a sad story but it actually makes me laugh now
 
2013-08-06 02:35:36 AM

doglover: optikeye: doglover: So men are crap at useless skills like buying other people's clothing and putting up with your awful in laws sober.

Who was the woman who runs a private space exploration company with feasible plans to mine comets for heavy elements and a moon base, again? Her name must have slipped my mind.


Hazel Stone.

Hazel Stone is a fictional character created by Robert A. Heinlein

 
So is Richard Virgin...and no one complains about his space liners.

 
2013-08-06 02:38:00 AM
You forgot unscrewing stuck jars and reaching that cabinet above the fridge.
 
2013-08-06 02:47:32 AM

doglover: optikeye: doglover: So men are crap at useless skills like buying other people's clothing and putting up with your awful in laws sober.

Who was the woman who runs a private space exploration company with feasible plans to mine comets for heavy elements and a moon base, again? Her name must have slipped my mind.


Hazel Stone.

Hazel Stone is a fictional character created by Robert A. Heinlein


She's real to me, dammit!
 
2013-08-06 03:10:33 AM

Mike Chewbacca: You forgot unscrewing stuck jars and reaching that cabinet above the fridge.


I farking hate that cabinet above the fridge, and have sworn eternal vigilance against it - and loyalty with all men tasked with it. I'm only 5'11 so there's all sorts of weird-ass yoga and the summoning of every fiber in my body to get that that damned smoothie mixer she uses once a year (invariably in the back of the cabinet for some reason).

Christ, I was going to bed but just thinking of that cabinet, and glancing at t just now, pisses me off.
 
2013-08-06 03:19:39 AM

dickfreckle: phlegmmo: And often all at the same time.

They say women are superior multi-taskers but men are more driven with single tasks. My ass. My father could drive a stick in city traffic while smoking a cigarette and drinking coffee while smacking the left side of my face. The man had skills.

/it was a Corvette, so there wasn't room to scoot over even when you saw that backhand coming
//sounds like a sad story but it actually makes me laugh now


It was a more focused generation and those kinds of skills were encouraged starting in junior high.
 
2013-08-06 07:32:22 AM
Women who complain about men need to choose their company better.
 
2013-08-06 07:33:20 AM
I also open jars and can reach the top shelf.
 
2013-08-06 07:33:36 AM
Cooking with fire?  I thought we only cooked with a microwave?
 
2013-08-06 07:35:04 AM
Really, though. What the fark are women good for?

You want to talk about useless, just look at the women in your family.
 
2013-08-06 07:36:00 AM
I don't understand the issue.

dnrtfa
 
2013-08-06 07:37:56 AM
They forgot massaging a woman's internal organs by slamming the head of a penis against her cervix.
 
2013-08-06 07:38:07 AM
i do all that and shoot guns!

i1.ytimg.com
 
2013-08-06 07:38:17 AM
if i ever get married, my future wife will have to handle spider duty.  i have a paralyzing phobia about spiders and pretty much any kind of insect.  i don't drink either, and i have no interest in grilling or cooking with fire.  i am however very nice and polite and well-groomed, and i want to have children and have a happy family.  call me, ladies.
 
2013-08-06 07:41:54 AM
With the demise of home economics classes and the advent of things like Ritalin women no longer are good for things like cooking (to include sandwich making), housekeeping or childrearing so the only reason to have them around is for sex.
 
2013-08-06 07:42:03 AM

phlegmmo: OgreMagi: bring to a festering boil: "If you really loved me you'd make the effort to get it right."

Any sentence that starts with "if you love me ..." is a trap.

Along with: "Does this _____ make my _____ look _____?"


That's a trick question with NO right answer. If you can't change the subject, you're doomed.
(What works for me is to point over her shoulder, say, "hey, look at that" and then run the other way.)
 
2013-08-06 07:44:11 AM
A man's job, since the dawn of time, has been to provide. And we excel at it.
We will take any risk to accomplish that. And run over anyone who gets in our way.

The pissing and moaning in that article about men's shortcomings? Just another screed (written by women, no doubt) to tell men that we suck at being women.

I couldn't be prouder of that fact.
 
2013-08-06 07:44:36 AM

NutWrench: phlegmmo: OgreMagi: bring to a festering boil: "If you really loved me you'd make the effort to get it right."

Any sentence that starts with "if you love me ..." is a trap.

Along with: "Does this _____ make my _____ look _____?"

That's a trick question with NO right answer. If you can't change the subject, you're doomed.
(What works for me is to point over her shoulder, say, "hey, look at that" and then run the other way.)


I just pretend to get distracted by her cleavage. She buys it.
 
2013-08-06 07:46:01 AM
Who the hell cares what women think?
 
2013-08-06 07:46:11 AM
Go fark yourself, fat, lonely article writer. I can do anything in that article and can do so better than any woman.

/not gay
//nttawwt
 
2013-08-06 07:46:13 AM
I'm the best cook in my family by far, and often the only one willing to try more complex recipes when the mood strikes me.

Anyways, this survey was sponsored by a Hot Sauce company, so I'd take the results with a class of milk.
 
2013-08-06 07:47:33 AM
Yea, don't care. I'm not offended by this, I'm pretty happy with this role.
 
2013-08-06 07:47:40 AM
We can't be that worthless. You read stories all the time about how some crazy biatch attacked another crazy biatch for messing with her man. So yes we might be POS ladies, but we're your POS
 
2013-08-06 07:49:15 AM

enderthexenocide: if i ever get married, my future wife will have to handle spider duty.  i have a paralyzing phobia about spiders and pretty much any kind of insect.  i don't drink either, and i have no interest in grilling or cooking with fire.  i am however very nice and polite and well-groomed, and i want to have children and have a happy family.  call me, ladies.


Just how many dead bodies are in your cellar?
 
2013-08-06 07:51:54 AM
"A spokesman for Frank's Red Hot, a sauce brand which carried out the survey "

Spamvert masquerading as something slightly more meaningful than an attack of involuntary flatulence.
 
2013-08-06 07:52:05 AM
So taking a survey asking "do you think your man is good at ____" and spouting random results from it somehow leads to women don't need men?  Well, that seems like a valid conclusion.

/fark ironing, that's why dry cleaners exist
 
2013-08-06 07:52:41 AM
Younger farkers and farkettes, don't buy into this battle of the sexes bullshiat. With the experience of an epic early dating career and a subsequent 17 years of marriage under my belt, I can tell you it's a wash. Men and women are equally blind, selfish and crazy, and nobody ever changes.
 
2013-08-06 07:53:26 AM

Tat'dGreaser: enderthexenocide: if i ever get married, my future wife will have to handle spider duty.  i have a paralyzing phobia about spiders and pretty much any kind of insect.  i don't drink either, and i have no interest in grilling or cooking with fire.  i am however very nice and polite and well-groomed, and i want to have children and have a happy family.  call me, ladies.

Just how many dead bodies are in your cellar?


He's not sure. He won't go in there because of all the spiders.
 
2013-08-06 07:54:47 AM
Bullshat study.

When did women learn how to change tires?
 
2013-08-06 07:55:23 AM

Tat'dGreaser: Yea, don't care. I'm not offended by this, I'm pretty happy with this role.


Non reactionary post in a troll thread?  I think I'd have to ban you if I were an admin.  Apathy and compliance don't pay the fark bills you know.  Let's contribute a little bit here, this is a team effort.
 
2013-08-06 07:56:09 AM

Pilikia: Younger farkers and farkettes, don't buy into this battle of the sexes bullshiat. With the experience of an epic early dating career and a subsequent 17 years of marriage under my belt, I can tell you it's a wash. Men and women are equally blind, selfish and crazy, and nobody ever changes.


You've been away from single life too long. Women marry a man hoping he will change, but he doesn't. Men marry a woman hoping she'll never change, but holy shiat it's like Jekyll and Hyde with these harpies.

But not you, honeybunny, if you're reading this.
 
2013-08-06 07:56:50 AM

Yanks_RSJ: Who the hell cares what women think?


I wasn't even aware they did.
 
2013-08-06 07:59:56 AM

Pilikia: Younger farkers and farkettes, don't buy into this battle of the sexes bullshiat. With the experience of an epic early dating career and a subsequent 17 years of marriage under my belt, I can tell you it's a wash. Men and women are equally blind, selfish and crazy, and nobody ever changes.


See, now we're getting somewhere.  You're on the way to reducing this to my primary axiom of life and other people- the world is full of assholes, the sooner you accept it, the better.  Corollary: it doesn't much matter whether they sit to pee or not.
 
2013-08-06 08:01:45 AM

Onkel Buck: We can't be that worthless. You read stories all the time about how some crazy biatch attacked another crazy biatch for messing with her man. So yes we might be POS ladies, but we're your POS


I was just going to say something similar. We might be completely useless but they can't stop thinking or talking about us.
 
2013-08-06 08:03:11 AM

Serial Killer X: He's not sure. He won't go in there because of all the spiders.


Ha!

Mose: Non reactionary post in a troll thread?  I think I'd have to ban you if I were an admin.  Apathy and compliance don't pay the fark bills you know.  Let's contribute a little bit here, this is a team effort.


I called someone a serial killer, doesn't that count towards something???
 
2013-08-06 08:04:20 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: Pilikia: Younger farkers and farkettes, don't buy into this battle of the sexes bullshiat. With the experience of an epic early dating career and a subsequent 17 years of marriage under my belt, I can tell you it's a wash. Men and women are equally blind, selfish and crazy, and nobody ever changes.

You've been away from single life too long. Women marry a man hoping he will change, but he doesn't. Men marry a woman hoping she'll never change, but holy shiat it's like Jekyll and Hyde with these harpies.

But not you, honeybunny, if you're reading this.


I got married when I was 28 and was almost never without a girlfriend or a hook-up between the ages of 19 and 26 (I started late but made up for it in volume and frequency). What more do I need to know?

I hear you on the Jekyll and Hyde - I used to think that about my wife. But when I look back now I realize it was always all there: the nagging, the mercernary outlook, the eating too much cake. I just chose to ignore it because BY GOD PENIS WAS GETTING WHAT IT NEEDED.
 
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