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(BBC)   It's getting to the point where you can't even go to the toilet without getting hacked   (bbc.co.uk) divider line 38
    More: Interesting, Graham Cluley, bathrooms, major appliance  
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2410 clicks; posted to Geek » on 05 Aug 2013 at 10:00 PM (48 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



38 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-08-05 07:58:42 PM
Huh, always thought the Brits called it getting buggered...
 
2013-08-05 08:25:38 PM
Holy shiat, that could be fun.  Especially since people who spend money on those tend to be grade-A assholes.
 
2013-08-05 09:15:11 PM
Well, look at it this way - if you get hacked on the toilet, you won't give a shiat.
 
2013-08-05 09:17:24 PM
That stinks!
 
2013-08-05 09:29:10 PM
I have a sudden craving for dinner at AmericaTown
 
2013-08-05 09:53:09 PM
Wonder what nmap reports if they probe me just as I take my daily epic dump?
 
2013-08-05 10:02:13 PM
E_PORT_AWW_HELL_NO
 
2013-08-05 10:26:03 PM
The difficult part would be to hack the lid to open and close in sync with the vocal track you uploaded.
 
2013-08-05 10:28:42 PM
"A luxury toilet controlled by a smartphone app is vulnerable to attack, according to security experts. "

Ok really? This is actually a thing? If you're enough of a dumbass/douchebag that you get a farking smartphone app for your goddamn shiatter then you deserve everything you get. I mean FFS who even brings their phone into the shiatter expecting to use it in the first place? You know, now that I think about it, I'm betting some of you would seriously answer that you would bring their phone in to the crapper with the intention of using it.

Manual farking controls on the goddamn toilet/bidet/bung blower combo machine. How goddamn difficult is that that you feel the need to get a goddamn app on your phone to control it?

/Yes I'm aware I sound old.
//Not a Luddite, honest. The features of the toilet/bidet thing sound cool, just not controlled by phone.
 
2013-08-05 10:41:45 PM
This is why you should always back up your shiat
 
2013-08-05 10:59:03 PM
Oh and also this "smart toilet" idea is just going to make Skynet even more angry when it achieves sentience.
 
2013-08-05 11:12:16 PM
Sorry, if someone can afford a $5500 toilet, they can afford to make their home secure from drive by ppl using apps to connect to the toilet
 
2013-08-05 11:22:01 PM
Well, shiat.
 
2013-08-05 11:28:11 PM

Dingleberry Dickwad: "A luxury toilet controlled by a smartphone app is vulnerable to attack, according to security experts. "

Ok really? This is actually a thing? If you're enough of a dumbass/douchebag that you get a farking smartphone app for your goddamn shiatter then you deserve everything you get. I mean FFS who even brings their phone into the shiatter expecting to use it in the first place? You know, now that I think about it, I'm betting some of you would seriously answer that you would bring their phone in to the crapper with the intention of using it.

Manual farking controls on the goddamn toilet/bidet/bung blower combo machine. How goddamn difficult is that that you feel the need to get a goddamn app on your phone to control it?

/Yes I'm aware I sound old.
//Not a Luddite, honest. The features of the toilet/bidet thing sound cool, just not controlled by phone.


Only a matter of time somebody connects the app with Twitter to automatically update your status to: "Loaf Pinching"
 
2013-08-05 11:32:55 PM
10: shiat, shiat, shiat, shiat, piss, piss, bidet, dry
20 GOTO 10
 
2013-08-05 11:35:45 PM

Benjimin_Dover: Dingleberry Dickwad: "A luxury toilet controlled by a smartphone app is vulnerable to attack, according to security experts. "

Ok really? This is actually a thing? If you're enough of a dumbass/douchebag that you get a farking smartphone app for your goddamn shiatter then you deserve everything you get. I mean FFS who even brings their phone into the shiatter expecting to use it in the first place? You know, now that I think about it, I'm betting some of you would seriously answer that you would bring their phone in to the crapper with the intention of using it.

Manual farking controls on the goddamn toilet/bidet/bung blower combo machine. How goddamn difficult is that that you feel the need to get a goddamn app on your phone to control it?

/Yes I'm aware I sound old.
//Not a Luddite, honest. The features of the toilet/bidet thing sound cool, just not controlled by phone.

Only a matter of time somebody connects the app with Twitter to automatically update your status to: "Loaf Pinching"


I can see it now. Pressure sensitive seat combined with spycam with fecal recognition software. No shiat sends out "Tinkle Tinkle" update on Twatter. Poo gets the "Okay, poop is coming out" update. A hidden microphone detects loud farts and sends status "Goddamn barking spiders..." update. A sensor on the toilet paper roll detects how much you used and sends "Don't shake my hand." update.
 
2013-08-05 11:46:33 PM

Dingleberry Dickwad: Ok really? This is actually a thing? If you're enough of a dumbass/douchebag that you get a farking smartphone app for your goddamn shiatter then you deserve everything you get. I mean FFS who even brings their phone into the shiatter expecting to use it in the first place? You know, now that I think about it, I'm betting some of you would seriously answer that you would bring their phone in to the crapper with the intention of using it.


Well, at home I have magazines or I can leave the door open and see the TV but at work I've browsed the web while taking a dump.  I won't talk on the phone while in the bathroom, but I have heard other people doing so.

I don't see the point in having a web-connected toilet.  I'm sure someone will say you can tell it to heat the seat up before you go use it, but seriously if you can afford this toilet you can afford to heat your bathroom.
 
2013-08-06 12:06:15 AM
thats why I prefer to crap on the move. less chance of being hacked.
i.imgur.com
Now wheres that relief valve for showing tailgater's the what for?
 
2013-08-06 12:11:03 AM
s3.sidereel.com

"A bidet? Don't mind if I bi-do."
 
2013-08-06 12:18:06 AM
And there's a... a sturdiness to it... the bidet? It can...accommodate... a fairly heavy carriage?
ib4.huluim.com
And the water pressure... in the bidet? Should it prove... insufficient... is there an adjustment... that can be made... to possibly increase... the pressure substantially?
 
2013-08-06 12:42:52 AM
Sometimes it hurts.
So badly.
I must cry out loud.
 
2013-08-06 01:15:15 AM
"It's easy to see how a practical joker might be able to trick his neighbours into thinking his toilet is possessed as it squirts water and blows warm air unexpectedly on their intended victim, but it's hard to imagine how serious hardened cybercriminals would be interested in this security hole."

ROFL "security hole"
 
2013-08-06 01:50:55 AM
What's the point? You kinda have to be there to use it so why not just press the button that's on the unit? Or are you shiatting in the sink and playing with the toilet via your iPhone while you do?

/whatever you do, don't push the red button
//goes with fur lined sink, electric dog polisher, and gasoline powered turtleneck sweater
 
2013-08-06 01:53:10 AM
So you have to get out and fiddle with your phone right after you're done wiping your ass?  The same phone you hold to your face to talk in? Yeah I don't think I want that.
 
2013-08-06 02:25:55 AM
I've seen some hentai that started like this.
 
2013-08-06 02:45:40 AM
Retailing for up to $5,686 (£3,821), the Satis toilet includes automatic flushing, bidet spray, music and fragrance release.

No built-in webcam in the bowl? What a ripoff!
 
2013-08-06 03:14:20 AM
Does it weigh and categorize each shiat before posting the results to both Twitter and Facebook?
 
2013-08-06 03:23:39 AM
The user manual is 77 pages long (just counting the English portion)

http://www.inax-usa.com/download/products/users/integrated/SATIS.pdf

Here's a review which includes a video demo of the app:

http://news.cnet.com/8301-17938_105-57559602-1/flush-with-your-smart ph one-toilets-get-bluetooth/

Among other features, "The app lets you maintain a diary of toilet use".  Hey, who doesn't track such things?

And for $595 you can get this handy remote control/toilet paper stand.
 www.inax-usa.com
 
2013-08-06 03:28:55 AM
"An attacker could simply download the My Satis application and use it to cause the toilet to repeatedly flush, raising the water usage and therefore utility cost to its owner"

Oh boy, we're some hardened criminals now, eh? Hackers is us!
 
2013-08-06 03:35:10 AM

Mega Steve: Retailing for up to $5,686 (£3,821), the Satis toilet includes automatic flushing, bidet spray, music and fragrance release.

No built-in webcam in the bowl? What a ripoff!


I'd rather have the urinal video game that Sega sells in Japan.

www.travelsnitch.org
 
2013-08-06 03:44:23 AM
OMFG. I loled.
 
2013-08-06 04:48:47 AM
... But I poop in there.
 
2013-08-06 04:58:40 AM

gfid: Well, at home I have magazines or I can leave the door open and see the TV but at work I've browsed the web while taking a dump.  I won't talk on the phone while in the bathroom, but I have heard other people doing so.


How long do you people spend on the farking toilet that you need to get reading material?

I just sit down and effortlessly plunk it. Total trip to the toilet is less than 1 minute with the actual act of shatting taking like 10 seconds. Most of the time spent on pulling my pants up/down (10 and 10 seconds) and washing hands (30 seconds).

Eat more fiber, you idiots!
 
2013-08-06 05:23:02 AM
Yeah, sorry, if you are so lazy/tech addicted/whatever that you have to have your farking TOILET controlled by a smartphone app, you get no sympathy from me. Only laughter.
 
2013-08-06 05:52:09 AM
Oh noes, the hackers will download ma logs!
 
2013-08-06 11:22:08 AM

gfid: The user manual is 77 pages long (just counting the English portion)

http://www.inax-usa.com/download/products/users/integrated/SATIS.pdf

Here's a review which includes a video demo of the app:

http://news.cnet.com/8301-17938_105-57559602-1/flush-with-your-smart ph one-toilets-get-bluetooth/

Among other features, "The app lets you maintain a diary of toilet use".  Hey, who doesn't track such things?

And for $595 you can get this handy remote control/toilet paper stand.
 [www.inax-usa.com image 393x393]


I wonder how busy their shiatter tech support line is with a manual that long
 
2013-08-06 11:42:40 AM

rocky_howard: gfid: Well, at home I have magazines or I can leave the door open and see the TV but at work I've browsed the web while taking a dump.  I won't talk on the phone while in the bathroom, but I have heard other people doing so.

How long do you people spend on the farking toilet that you need to get reading material?

I just sit down and effortlessly plunk it. Total trip to the toilet is less than 1 minute with the actual act of shatting taking like 10 seconds. Most of the time spent on pulling my pants up/down (10 and 10 seconds) and washing hands (30 seconds).

Eat more fiber, you idiots!


Yeah, my daily breakfast of oatmeal, fresh fruit and coffee makes me quite... regular. The mail must get through, so to speak. Total time required, generally less than 2.5 minutes, pants down to pants up.

I will, however, hide in the bathroom for a few minutes beforehand, if only to get a few minutes respite from the spawn of my loins. And I WILL answer a phone call from my mother mid-dump, if only to subject her to my various toilet noises and to try to teach her not to call me ten times a day for bullshiat.
 
2013-08-06 04:58:37 PM

Dingleberry Dickwad: Benjimin_Dover: Dingleberry Dickwad: "A luxury toilet controlled by a smartphone app is vulnerable to attack, according to security experts. "

Ok really? This is actually a thing? If you're enough of a dumbass/douchebag that you get a farking smartphone app for your goddamn shiatter then you deserve everything you get. I mean FFS who even brings their phone into the shiatter expecting to use it in the first place? You know, now that I think about it, I'm betting some of you would seriously answer that you would bring their phone in to the crapper with the intention of using it.

Manual farking controls on the goddamn toilet/bidet/bung blower combo machine. How goddamn difficult is that that you feel the need to get a goddamn app on your phone to control it?

/Yes I'm aware I sound old.
//Not a Luddite, honest. The features of the toilet/bidet thing sound cool, just not controlled by phone.

Only a matter of time somebody connects the app with Twitter to automatically update your status to: "Loaf Pinching"

I can see it now. Pressure sensitive seat combined with spycam with fecal recognition software. No shiat sends out "Tinkle Tinkle" update on Twatter. Poo gets the "Okay, poop is coming out" update. A hidden microphone detects loud farts and sends status "Goddamn barking spiders..." update. A sensor on the toilet paper roll detects how much you used and sends "Don't shake my hand." update.


ANd or connects to the Wegmans app and puts the asswipe on your shopping list for you as well as indicates the isle it is in.
 
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