Fast food protestors ordered to-go, Art Bell returned by his Alpha Centauri abductors, and how to respond to an offer of bird poop facials: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 7/28 - 8/3
Posted by Unfreakable at 2013-08-05 1:41:52 PM (15 comments) | Permalink
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2081 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Aug 2013 at 1:51 PM (17 weeks ago) | | share: more»
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About twice per month I'm asked by some baffled submitter how to get a greenlight on Fark. Sometimes they've submitted scores of headlines with nothing but red to show for it.
But it's actually very, very simple: submit headlines like these.
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2013-07-28 to Sat 2013-08-03:
Train wreck trifecta complete: Spain, Amanda Bynes and now Switzerland
Academics warn that if Scotland becomes independent, it will risk being invaded by Russia. Sean Connery to play at least five roles in the resulting movie
Woman delivers 13lb 4oz baby girl in natural childbirth. The mother hopes to decide on a name soon, but she's still torn
Fast food protesters ordered to-go
Cumming man wins $1.5M jackpot. Well I guess you can't really blame him
Woman flees sex attack, survives 12 days in the wilderness on twigs and berries
Snowden leaks out of secure area
Clients drop $180 for bird poop facials at NYC spa. GuaNOPE
Red Sox owner John Henry to purchase Boston Globe, immediately trade Dan Shaughnessy and Bob Ryan to the Chicago Tribune for a sack of beans and a reporter to be named later
Radioactive water from Fukushima about to TEPCO through the tulips
Bomb explodes in Manama. Doo doo do doo doo
Body of ex-MLB pitcher recovered from an Arizona lake. Divers get charged with a blown save
Dodgers sign Brian Wilson ... on the condition that he doesn't bring along Mike Love
Alex Rodriguez to play in simulated game this week. Or as A-Rod calls games that aren't for real, the playoffs
Publisher thinks religious comics will help draw comic book reading kids and teens into religion, doesn't realize the only people who read comics are middle-aged men who already have a favorite fictional character with super powers
A hacker named Barnaby Jack, found pace-makers easy to crack. He was scheduled to speak, so the timing it reeks. Since it looks like he might have been whacked
Scientists grow teeth from urine. Just try getting that yellow out NOW
Art Bell has been returned by his Alpha Centauri abductors with Sasquatch, Reptilians, and EVPs for a new, uncensored show on Sirius
Could Lindsay Lohan become a "great runner"? Well, we already know she's doping
NBC to air Nancy Kerrigan and Tonya Harding documentary. Further details to be released on a knee-to-know basis
Mayor slaps city of San Diego on the butt, says how fine it's looking today, and tells it to go rustle up some money from petty cash to pay for his legal fees, sweetcheeks
Weiner faces electile dysfunction in new poll
Government creates nudge squad, if you know what I mean
Ford introduces vibrating shifter to teach people how to drive a stick, get more women interested in buying cars with manual transmissions
Ballmer admits Microsoft built too many surface tablets while nailing them to his roof as cheap shingle substitutes
Lululemon admits they're not interested in attracting plus-size shoppers. Rest of the world: "Thank you"
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