Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(YouTube)   I see your Scottish board-breaker and raise you this group of highly trained, ultra-lethal, soon-to-be 5th degree black belts   ( youtube.com) divider line
    More: Scary  
•       •       •

5702 clicks; posted to Video » on 05 Aug 2013 at 11:16 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



77 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2013-08-05 11:31:00 AM  
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-08-05 11:32:08 AM  
DAFUQ did I just watch?!?!?!

i718.photobucket.com
 
2013-08-05 11:35:06 AM  
I think it's supposed to be the 100 man kumite that the 5th dan have to take. Ours was more brutal but my group had a semi-full contact policy from the green belt upwards.
 
2013-08-05 11:41:15 AM  
These guys had trouble getting their kicks above the waist. And what use is throwing kicks that have no chance of making contact like the primary guy does constantly? We used to call them "thunder kicks" (mocking an old He-Man toy's "thunder punch").

We didn't have the most serious club but I would have put one of our blue belts up against any of these guys any day.
 
2013-08-05 11:48:02 AM  
That kata at the end was too fast and sloppy.  Fine, do a kata fast, but only once you can do it with accuracy.  That's my philosophy, anyway...  And no contact fighting will train you very well-- to kick a ghost's butt.  Fantastic.
 
2013-08-05 11:55:34 AM  

Ananku: That kata at the end was too fast and sloppy.  Fine, do a kata fast, but only once you can do it with accuracy.  That's my philosophy, anyway...  And no contact fighting will train you very well-- to kick a ghost's butt.  Fantastic.


Yeah, for one, it looked like the guy spent the whole thing in a Gi that was one size too big, and at the end, if the group is doing the kata, aren't they supposed to be somewhat in sync? There, it just looked like a bunch of kids playing Kung Fu in the back yard. some seriously sloppy shiat, I agree.
 
2013-08-05 12:00:47 PM  
That was a complete shiatshow. Light/no contact--fine, okay, I guess. But at least have good form. And 5th and 6th dan not able to do a kata together? Shameful.
 
2013-08-05 12:03:15 PM  
That kata was brutal.
 
2013-08-05 12:06:05 PM  
Just watched a little at the beginning.  Lousy kicks nowhere near the target.  Shame.
 
2013-08-05 12:08:34 PM  
I think our only hope for this video is that somewhere off-camera is an instructor holding up a sign saying "You all failed."

/ thanks for the green-light by the way
 
2013-08-05 12:15:07 PM  
participation awards?
 
2013-08-05 12:18:25 PM  
So, I count 1, 2, 3...10 Karateka geeks in here.

/carry on.
 
2013-08-05 12:38:31 PM  

Mikey1969: Ananku: That kata at the end was too fast and sloppy.  Fine, do a kata fast, but only once you can do it with accuracy.  That's my philosophy, anyway...  And no contact fighting will train you very well-- to kick a ghost's butt.  Fantastic.

Yeah, for one, it looked like the guy spent the whole thing in a Gi that was one size too big, and at the end, if the group is doing the kata, aren't they supposed to be somewhat in sync? There, it just looked like a bunch of kids playing Kung Fu in the back yard. some seriously sloppy shiat, I agree.


Showed this video a few weeks ago to my son's Sensei. His major criticism was the guy at the start using his arms to block low kicks. He just shook his head at the kata.

HairBolus: participation awards?


Evereybody gets a medal day
 
2013-08-05 12:44:31 PM  

Stantz: Showed this video a few weeks ago to my son's Sensei. His major criticism was the guy at the start using his arms to block low kicks. He just shook his head at the kata.


He really does just flail around, doesn't he? It's like you could just charge him, knock him over, and beat the fark out of him without even knowing how to fight, he never once really looked like he had a decent stance, seemed off balance the entire time. Well, maybe he had his balance during the bows, but that's about it.
 
2013-08-05 01:06:21 PM  
rex kwon do
 
2013-08-05 01:10:00 PM  

Tumunga: So, I count 1, 2, 3...10 Karateka geeks in here.

/carry on.




The animation was so fluid, for the C-64.
 
2013-08-05 01:11:36 PM  
My kids do karate at a local studio.  They're great with kids, but I've always had the impression that if you're really serious you probably should train elsewhere.

They have 12-year-old blue belts better than these guys
 
2013-08-05 01:13:14 PM  
Yay, internet tough guy thread!

This wasn't terrible. Not great, but not terrible. Even highly trained people default to a handful of basic Ds, counters and attacks when in the ring or on the street.

And no, you couldn't just charge any of those guys and knock them over. Maybe they were a little sloppy, but they showed decent reflexes and balance. Can't imaging any one of them not sidestepping a bull-rush.
 
2013-08-05 01:15:49 PM  
Scratch that last comment. I had only watched until 0:58 when I wrote it. I just watched the rest. Wow. Just wow.
 
2013-08-05 01:18:45 PM  

Pilikia: Yay, internet tough guy thread!

This wasn't terrible. Not great, but not terrible. Even highly trained people default to a handful of basic Ds, counters and attacks when in the ring or on the street.

And no, you couldn't just charge any of those guys and knock them over. Maybe they were a little sloppy, but they showed decent reflexes and balance. Can't imaging any one of them not sidestepping a bull-rush.


Did you watch the same video I did?  I kept waiting for some clue that they were developmentally disabled or something.  Belt mill.
 
2013-08-05 01:20:49 PM  
We can only hope that was some form of "Special Olympics" martial arts class.
 
2013-08-05 01:22:01 PM  

Pilikia: Scratch that last comment. I had only watched until 0:58 when I wrote it. I just watched the rest. Wow. Just wow.


Well that will teach you to talk like you know what's up before watching a whole 3 minute long video.  Bow to your sensei!
 
2013-08-05 01:26:19 PM  

StoPPeRmobile: Tumunga: So, I count 1, 2, 3...10 Karateka geeks in here.

/carry on.

The animation was so fluid, for the C-64.


I wore out so many Atari joysticks playing that thing.
 
2013-08-05 01:46:38 PM  
img60.imageshack.us
 
2013-08-05 02:05:06 PM  
That did look kind of spastic and weak.

I used to train with a black belt that I knew could kill me anytime he wanted to with one kick or punch.  He was always in control, never a weak technique, which made him fun to fight.  You never really got hurt, it was like playing with a dog who knew just how hard to bite, then put on about 10% more force just for fun.

When he started hitting you harder, you knew you'd gotten one in on him.  Not in terms of a landed blow, but of a correctly delivered blow that you then pulled to give just the right "gotcha" in a training setting.

It's fun to land a good punch on a black belt.  For a moment anyway.  Oh now you've made him mad.  POW. owwww farker

/ Guns are a better investment in self-defense.
 
2013-08-05 02:11:49 PM  

lewismarktwo: Pilikia: Scratch that last comment. I had only watched until 0:58 when I wrote it. I just watched the rest. Wow. Just wow.

Well that will teach you to talk like you know what's up before watching a whole 3 minute long video.  Bow to your sensei!


*bows*

/but only to sigung, not sensei
 
2013-08-05 02:21:02 PM  
I like how they kept their hands right up against their bodies. Were they protecting their nipples?
 
2013-08-05 02:21:43 PM  

PsyLord: DAFUQ did I just watch?!?!?!


I think it was a karate-themed interpretation of West Side Story.
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
2013-08-05 02:22:16 PM  

studebaker hoch: It's fun to land a good punch on a black belt. For a moment anyway. Oh now you've made him mad. POW. owwww farker


When I used to spar with one of my judo instructors he just lock me up. I had about 20 pounds on him so I'd give it everything I had to muscle my way out of it. Just as I broke free he'd flip me into a different lock ... the entire time he never stopped laughing. Went on like this until I didn't have the strength to continue.

He probably used about 1/20th the energy I did.
 
2013-08-05 03:16:39 PM  

Hohlraum: [24.media.tumblr.com image 400x225]


that sums the whole thing up very nicely. :)
 
2013-08-05 03:24:37 PM  
 
2013-08-05 03:37:39 PM  
I studied Aikido under a man who had polio as a child, and had about 10% functionality in his legs (wore leg braces and used crutches).  He would use me as the dummy to demo new moves for the class, and was a master a making me feel like I was completely out of control.  In my opinion, he had more "martial arts ability" in one arm, than I saw in that entire video.  At one point during the Kata, I assumed that it was freestyle improv.
 
2013-08-05 03:45:37 PM  
holy molly that was bad. I'm bad, I know what bad looks like. And that was it..
 
2013-08-05 03:47:50 PM  

Pilikia: lewismarktwo: Pilikia: Scratch that last comment. I had only watched until 0:58 when I wrote it. I just watched the rest. Wow. Just wow.

Well that will teach you to talk like you know what's up before watching a whole 3 minute long video.  Bow to your sensei!

*bows*

/but only to sigung, not sensei


Break the wrist, walk away.

/break the wrist
//walk away
 
2013-08-05 03:51:08 PM  

ghettodwarf: I studied Aikido under a man who had polio as a child, and had about 10% functionality in his legs (wore leg braces and used crutches).  He would use me as the dummy to demo new moves for the class, and was a master a making me feel like I was completely out of control.  In my opinion, he had more "martial arts ability" in one arm, than I saw in that entire video.  At one point during the Kata, I assumed that it was freestyle improv.


Cyd Charisse took ballet as a child to get over her childhood polio.

Lets see how that turned out...Baby you Knock Me Out.
 
2013-08-05 04:10:09 PM  

lohphat: ghettodwarf: I studied Aikido under a man who had polio as a child, and had about 10% functionality in his legs (wore leg braces and used crutches).  He would use me as the dummy to demo new moves for the class, and was a master a making me feel like I was completely out of control.  In my opinion, he had more "martial arts ability" in one arm, than I saw in that entire video.  At one point during the Kata, I assumed that it was freestyle improv.

Cyd Charisse took ballet as a child to get over her childhood polio.

Lets see how that turned out...Baby you Knock Me Out.


not bad...I did that same routine around the gym the other day.
 
2013-08-05 04:32:02 PM  

lewismarktwo: Pilikia: lewismarktwo: Pilikia: Scratch that last comment. I had only watched until 0:58 when I wrote it. I just watched the rest. Wow. Just wow.

Well that will teach you to talk like you know what's up before watching a whole 3 minute long video.  Bow to your sensei!

*bows*

/but only to sigung, not sensei

Break the wrist, walk away.

/break the wrist
//walk away


TAKE A LOOK AT WHAT I'M WEARING, PEOPLE!!!
 
2013-08-05 04:44:51 PM  
Reminds me of this bullshiat black belt factory in Utah called Bobby Lawrence Karate. I knew a guy who was a third degree black belt through Bobby and he was pretty much like the dudes in the video.

Bobby got to do a demonstration at our high school one time. He was trying to get kids to sign up. The whole thing was sad. He and his wife told these obvious bullshiat stories about coming home and catching 5 guys robbing their house and Bobby going all Last Dragon on their asses, another time 3 guys tried to mug them, oh and let's not forget about the time someone tried to hold up the restaurant they were at. The best part is when he went on about how his life is in constant danger because he had become well known in our area so there were always people trying to "jump" him.

When we left that day I don't think a single person stayed to sign up.
 
2013-08-05 04:56:40 PM  
I especially like the kata race at the end. The guy in front won.
 
2013-08-05 05:10:49 PM  
 
2013-08-05 05:28:20 PM  
I think I'll do.... a sidekick.  Yea, that's the stuff.
 
2013-08-05 05:42:11 PM  

HairBolus: participation awards?


this.
 
2013-08-05 05:57:20 PM  
Spaz-Kwon-Do?
 
2013-08-05 06:05:57 PM  
If you need to get the sour sound of bad smelling Kata out of your eyes.

US Open Karate tournament 2009 - Male Kata Finals

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_mgiBeRzlM
 
2013-08-05 06:07:36 PM  

MellwoodDitworthy: Spaz-Kwon-Do?


Fat kwan do.
 
2013-08-05 06:11:15 PM  
I've been a student and instructor for 33 years (blah blah blah). Visited dojos all over the world, etc.

Often people will ask me "How do I pick a school?"

And I'll tell them to go watch a class. If it's a school with a good safety record, and the students are smiling at the end of the class - then it's a good school.

My students range between 12 and 68, and many of them are there to make friends and simply get some exercise. No other reason. If they come away with some martial arts skills (and many do), that's a win for me. If they lose some weight, and make a new friend (with few/poor martial art skills), it's still a win for me.

//Yeah, I know - Welcome to Fark, insert photo of crying person   :-)
 
2013-08-05 07:02:02 PM  
I imagine this is what a Stomp concert sounds like.
 
2013-08-05 07:31:30 PM  

Kendoway: I've been a student and instructor for 33 years (blah blah blah). Visited dojos all over the world, etc.

Often people will ask me "How do I pick a school?"

And I'll tell them to go watch a class. If it's a school with a good safety record, and the students are smiling at the end of the class - then it's a good school.

My students range between 12 and 68, and many of them are there to make friends and simply get some exercise. No other reason. If they come away with some martial arts skills (and many do), that's a win for me. If they lose some weight, and make a new friend (with few/poor martial art skills), it's still a win for me.

//Yeah, I know - Welcome to Fark, insert photo of crying person   :-)



The question would be whether you recognize them as, say, "5th degree black belts" when their accomplishments in your class consist of making friends, getting exercise, losing some weight, and acquiring few/poor martial arts skills.

No one would be making fun of these guys if it weren't for the disparity between the pretention and the skill. (Well, not no one, this is Fark, but...)


/doing kata in their own time not a big deal IMO, sometimes an instructor just isn't interested in synchronisation
 
2013-08-05 07:47:41 PM  
I remember a kid in high school that went to one of the belt mill places. Within a couple of months he was a "black belt" and felt like he was the best karate master ever. Was really really funny when he ran his mouth and got in a fight with somebody. He spent a few seconds flailing around trying to look impressive, then couldn't make contact and when he tried he was so trained to pull everything it was just funny. Needless to say he got a pretty good whoopin and stayed pretty quiet after that.

I had a friend that took karate for a little while at a place that trained like the video. It was fun sparing with him since he didn't actually know how to throw a punch or kick. A well trained person can snap a punch or kick that won't make full contact but makes you realize how close it was. A poorly trained person is just a wet noodle. Although after a few months he found a proper place and sparing got more interesting.
 
2013-08-05 07:56:50 PM  

Monkeyfark Ridiculous: Kendoway: I've been a student and instructor for 33 years (blah blah blah). Visited dojos all over the world, etc.

Often people will ask me "How do I pick a school?"

And I'll tell them to go watch a class. If it's a school with a good safety record, and the students are smiling at the end of the class - then it's a good school.

My students range between 12 and 68, and many of them are there to make friends and simply get some exercise. No other reason. If they come away with some martial arts skills (and many do), that's a win for me. If they lose some weight, and make a new friend (with few/poor martial art skills), it's still a win for me.

//Yeah, I know - Welcome to Fark, insert photo of crying person   :-)


The question would be whether you recognize them as, say, "5th degree black belts" when their accomplishments in your class consist of making friends, getting exercise, losing some weight, and acquiring few/poor martial arts skills.

No one would be making fun of these guys if it weren't for the disparity between the pretention and the skill. (Well, not no one, this is Fark, but...)


/doing kata in their own time not a big deal IMO, sometimes an instructor just isn't interested in synchronisation


I agree. The kata portion didn't interest me much, and I watched the rest with a "these are just regular people, not fighters or athletes" attitude. And I still didn't see anyone that looked like 5th degree anything. I did see a couple of guys who look like they could defend themselves, but...
 
Displayed 50 of 77 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.

In Other Media
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report