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(NASCAR)   NASCAR returns to Pocono with the 48 as the grand marshal for yet another parade at the GoBowling.com 400 (1PM ET, ESPN)   (nascar.com) divider line 408
    More: Cool, NASCAR, marshals, Poconos  
•       •       •

140 clicks; posted to Sports » on 04 Aug 2013 at 12:30 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



408 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2013-08-04 12:34:05 PM  
Words of wisdom

The Catch Fence ™ @TheCatchFence

Proposal: make "Pocono" a verb as well as a noun defined as water falling from the sky. Example: "Wow! It is Poconoing outside again!!"

nascarcasm @nascarcasm

An annoyed Tony Stewart asserts that "This is RAINING, not POURING."

nascarcasm @nascarcasm

Torrential rain at @poconoraceway. Track lost. Practice likely cancelled. Jimmie Johnson goes out and runs 182-mph lap anyways.

nascarcasm @nascarcasm

Kyle Busch: "I'm annoyed that this better team shows up and beats us." Nationwide regulars: "Did KYLE REALLY just say that?!"

nascarcasm @nascarcasm 1

Jimmie Johnson gets stopped and frisked by TSA agents, rushes to make his flight, and winds up with a front-row window seat in first class.

nascarcasm @nascarcasm

RECAP: Jimmie Johnson wins pole, sets new track record, finds $100 bill and nude Kate Upton pics on street, wins lottery.

nascarcasm @nascarcasm

Your best chance of beating Jimmie Johnson at Pocono is to have Takuma Sato laying in wait for him on pit road.
 
2013-08-04 12:35:09 PM  
Marshal? Sure. Grand? Let's not get crazy, kids.
 
2013-08-04 12:36:33 PM  
Parade In The Poconos is a lot better than GoBowling.com 400

Hell, any .com sponsor is a dumb name for a race
 
2013-08-04 12:37:43 PM  
Anybody watch the NNS race last night? ESPN did postrace coverage in just 3 minutes cuz they had to switch over to the X Games from what I hear.

As I say

Entertaining
Specific
People of
NASCAR!
 
2013-08-04 12:38:25 PM  
Aren't all non-road course tracks parades? Isn't the whole "sport" just who can stay in line the longest without crashing?
 
2013-08-04 12:41:18 PM  
Not sure if I can do this again.
 
2013-08-04 12:43:09 PM  
It annoys me that Pocono gets two dates while so many more deserving tracks only get one (or none).
 
2013-08-04 12:43:23 PM  

crotchgrabber: Not sure if I can do this again.


You gotta try. Hopefully this won't have a large ad banner taking up half the screen. We need to see the parade and the festivities (and the commercials!)
 
2013-08-04 12:44:09 PM  

The Bestest: It annoys me that Pocono gets two dates while so many more deserving tracks only get one (or none).

 
2013-08-04 12:44:24 PM  

Outrageous Muff: Aren't all non-road course tracks parades? Isn't the whole "sport" just who can stay in line the longest without crashing?


You've given me such a great idea to send to Macy's.
 
2013-08-04 12:46:28 PM  

DanZero: crotchgrabber: Not sure if I can do this again.

You gotta try. Hopefully this won't have a large ad banner taking up half the screen. We need to see the parade and the festivities (and the commercials!)


Let me get back to you when I dig out my lap top. Have some things on my mind regarding NASCAR.
 
2013-08-04 12:46:43 PM  

The Bestest: It annoys me that Pocono gets two dates while so many more deserving tracks only get one (or none).


It annoys me that a 1/3 of the drivers aren't smart enough to deal with three different banked turns without crashing.
 
2013-08-04 12:48:27 PM  
They need to convert the Pocono track to a Rally Cross track.
 
2013-08-04 12:54:51 PM  

Outrageous Muff: The Bestest: It annoys me that Pocono gets two dates while so many more deserving tracks only get one (or none).

It annoys me that a 1/3 of the drivers aren't smart enough to deal with three different banked turns without crashing.


If 1/3 of the field crashes out today, at least it won't be a parade.

/Something something aero push root of all evil.
 
2013-08-04 12:56:22 PM  
It sounds like the chick in the booth has a vendetta against Keselowski.
 
2013-08-04 12:56:44 PM  

The Bestest: It annoys me that Pocono gets two dates while so many more deserving tracks only get one (or none).


Back at Fontana, I did a schedule revamp; seemed to go over pretty well. I took the current schedule and just started replacing tracks, operating on a general principle of 'one track, one race, but I'm open to exceptions'.

Also, I dump the rule that says you can't test on tracks in use, because that rule is stupid. (But Dover, Michigan, Atlanta, California and Homestead came off the schedule in any case.)

Here it is again:

Daytona
Phoenix
Las Vegas
Bristol
California Long Beach
Martinsville
Texas
Kansas Iowa
Richmond Laguna Seca
Talladega
Darlington
Charlotte
Dover Milwaukee
Pocono
Michigan Belle Isle
Sonoma
Kentucky
Daytona
New Hampshire
Indianapolis
Pocono Barber
Watkins Glen
Michigan Mid-Ohio
Bristol
Atlanta Road Atlanta
Richmond Rockingham
--------CHASE-------
Chicagoland
New Hampshire
Dover Austin
Kansas
Charlotte Road America
Talladega
Martinsville
Texas
Richmond
Homestead Sebring
 
2013-08-04 12:58:52 PM  
I'm working today and I just might get something accomplished.
 
2013-08-04 01:01:24 PM  

cameroncrazy1984: I'm working today and I just might get something accomplished.


As long as the D* signal doesn't go out, right?

/haha, sorry, I was in that thread
 
2013-08-04 01:02:11 PM  
Why does fark have to include the retarded sponsor names in the headlines now?

It just feels wrong.

I also like referring to sports stadiums by their real names (Fenway, mile high, three rivers, etc)
 
2013-08-04 01:06:05 PM  
No flyover?
 
2013-08-04 01:06:36 PM  
It is a challenging anthem and not everyone is cut out to do it. Please don't let that guy butcher it again. Ever.
 
2013-08-04 01:07:28 PM  
That was one of the better performances of the national anthem I have heard in awhile.

My wife is complaining he couldn't hit the high notes but its better than some blond teen girl howling at the moon
 
2013-08-04 01:07:33 PM  
I'm already sick of the Apple Ale ads.  I've seen 2.
 
2013-08-04 01:07:45 PM  
Rally Racing is an X game now?
 
2013-08-04 01:07:46 PM  

Gosling: The Bestest: It annoys me that Pocono gets two dates while so many more deserving tracks only get one (or none).

Back at Fontana, I did a schedule revamp; seemed to go over pretty well. I took the current schedule and just started replacing tracks, operating on a general principle of 'one track, one race, but I'm open to exceptions'.

Also, I dump the rule that says you can't test on tracks in use, because that rule is stupid. (But Dover, Michigan, Atlanta, California and Homestead came off the schedule in any case.)

Here it is again:

Daytona
Phoenix
Las Vegas
Bristol
California Long Beach
Martinsville
Texas
Kansas Iowa
Richmond Laguna Seca
Talladega
Darlington
Charlotte
Dover Milwaukee
Pocono
Michigan Belle Isle
Sonoma
Kentucky
Daytona
New Hampshire
Indianapolis
Pocono Barber
Watkins Glen
Michigan Mid-Ohio
Bristol
Atlanta Road Atlanta
Richmond Rockingham
--------CHASE-------
Chicagoland
New Hampshire
Dover Austin
Kansas
Charlotte Road America
Talladega
Martinsville
Texas
Richmond
Homestead Sebring


I think, after the fun (but admittedly sluggish looking) go at Eldora, nominating some of the 1 mile dirt ovals still operating in this country would be awesome. Eldora is fine, but it's only .5 mile. If Cup were going to make a go of it, it'd need to hit that place ARCA goes to, or they need to pull a bristol and dump dirt on the Milwaukee Mile or New Hampshire. (These would be the exceptions to your one race one year deal - the same track paved VS temp dirt would be different, just a wise use of existing infrastructure if all 1 mile dirt ovals are currently lacking

Or... you know... they could just fix the farking cars, and places like Pocono would regain their old reputations. Even the offensiveness of the cookie cutters would be greatly reduced.

But Brian France is going to milk his family's hard work for all he can.
 
2013-08-04 01:08:23 PM  

kteela: I'm already sick of the Apple Ale ads.  I've seen 2.


It's part of MillerCoors. no surprise.
 
2013-08-04 01:10:14 PM  

smerfnablin: That was one of the better performances of the national anthem I have heard in awhile.

My wife is complaining he couldn't hit the high notes but its better than some blond teen girl howling at the moon


All renditions should be done by Wayne Messmer. All of them. No matter who's at the mike, Wayne's voice should come out.
 
2013-08-04 01:11:13 PM  
img.photobucket.com
 
2013-08-04 01:11:37 PM  
Let's go, Smoke!
 
2013-08-04 01:11:58 PM  
Dane Cook stole that announcement style.
 
2013-08-04 01:12:34 PM  

Gosling: The Bestest: It annoys me that Pocono gets two dates while so many more deserving tracks only get one (or none).

Back at Fontana, I did a schedule revamp; seemed to go over pretty well. I took the current schedule and just started replacing tracks, operating on a general principle of 'one track, one race, but I'm open to exceptions'.

Also, I dump the rule that says you can't test on tracks in use, because that rule is stupid. (But Dover, Michigan, Atlanta, California and Homestead came off the schedule in any case.)

Here it is again:

Daytona
Phoenix
Las Vegas
Bristol
California Long Beach
Martinsville
Texas
Kansas Iowa
Richmond Laguna Seca
Talladega
Darlington
Charlotte
Dover Milwaukee
Pocono
Michigan Belle Isle
Sonoma
Kentucky
Daytona
New Hampshire
Indianapolis
Pocono Barber
Watkins Glen
Michigan Mid-Ohio
Bristol
Atlanta Road Atlanta
Richmond Rockingham
--------CHASE-------
Chicagoland
New Hampshire
Dover Austin
Kansas
Charlotte Road America
Talladega
Martinsville
Texas
Richmond
Homestead Sebring


dover is better than half the tracks on the schedule
 
2013-08-04 01:14:13 PM  

kteela: Dane Cook stole that announcement style.


Fark Dane Cook

/oblig?
 
2013-08-04 01:15:28 PM  
Anyone have a free online feed link?
 
2013-08-04 01:15:31 PM  
Time to fire up the Idol again. Two Idols working in unison to bring DOWN the 48.

/Also calling in a favor with JPM
//Queuing up Ride of the Valkyries
 
2013-08-04 01:16:22 PM  
Um....

"Chicagoland
New Hampshire
Dover Austin?????
Kansas
Charlotte Road America
Talladega
Martinsville
Texas
Richmond
Homestead Sebring"

You crossed out Dover and put Austin in... Is that a joke? Or your ideal substitution?

1. They would never add a road race to the chase

2. Dover is Dover and there for a reason...

3. Espn still shows Dover on the schedule so you scared me :)
 
2013-08-04 01:17:55 PM  
www.seriouseats.com
 
2013-08-04 01:18:32 PM  
THE DARIAN GRUBB!!
 
2013-08-04 01:19:39 PM  

smerfnablin: You crossed out Dover and put Austin in... Is that a joke? Or your ideal substitution?


Well, move Austin into New Hampshire's second date, then.
 
2013-08-04 01:20:37 PM  

kteela: Dane Cook stole that announcement style.


From Carlos Mencia, ironically.
 
2013-08-04 01:21:55 PM  
Stop everything! I don't remember writing a check for bowling.

/Sir, that's a check for your boweling.
 
2013-08-04 01:23:06 PM  
I wonder what happened to Jimmie Johnson's rear tire changer after last week
 
2013-08-04 01:23:43 PM  
GREEN GREEN GREEN, GO GO GO!
 
2013-08-04 01:24:01 PM  
That didn't take long...
 
2013-08-04 01:24:06 PM  

smerfnablin: I wonder what happened to Jimmie Johnson's rear tire changer after last week


He was
.
.
.

retired
 
2013-08-04 01:24:16 PM  
Juan Pablo already hit someone

4 cars in the wall
 
2013-08-04 01:24:28 PM  
Zestfully rear-ended
 
2013-08-04 01:24:32 PM  
YELLOW YELLOW YELLOW, SLOW SLOW SLOW!

/this happened so fast I got a flood-protection warning
 
2013-08-04 01:24:36 PM  
That didn't take long...
 
2013-08-04 01:24:36 PM  
Well, that escalated quickly.
 
2013-08-04 01:24:37 PM  
Well...that escalated quickly.
 
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