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(Providence Journal)   The versatile machete can be used not only in your backyard for chopping down weeds, but also to cut down sugar cane, and reducing the chance of injury from your opponent in a bar fight   (providencejournal.com) divider line 32
    More: Scary, sugar canes, Providence, backyards, Rhode Island Hospital, Massachusetts State Police, Taunton  
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3925 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Aug 2013 at 11:32 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



32 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-08-04 11:36:53 AM  
The machete fight. Once the providence of settling disputes in third world country bar fights is now in Providence, settling disputes in bar fights.
 
2013-08-04 11:38:38 AM  
A bouncer escorted Fordham outside, but the other two attacked Fordham.

They started it. You sow the wind, you reap the machette.
 
2013-08-04 11:39:10 AM  
Tell us more about this wonderful tool.
 
2013-08-04 11:39:48 AM  
FTA the other two attacked Fordham... Fordham allegedly went to his car, retrieved a machete and starting chasing one of his assailants...striking him in the left forearm.  ...he will likely be charged with assault with a dangerous weapon.

How Zimmermian.
 
2013-08-04 11:41:03 AM  
Who keeps a machete in their car?  It's not like lawn services in Rhode Island have to deal with flourishing jungles.
 
2013-08-04 11:42:42 AM  
/oblig:
www.firstshowing.net
 
2013-08-04 11:43:06 AM  
Subby forgot it makes hiding the bodies much easier.
 
2013-08-04 11:43:09 AM  
Heh, I was reading this at the exact same time they were talking about it on channel 10 news.
 
2013-08-04 11:44:41 AM  

FrancoFile: Who keeps a machete in their car?  It's not like lawn services in Rhode Island have to deal with flourishing jungles.


'Round these parts?

Everyone.

;-)
 
2013-08-04 11:47:25 AM  

FrancoFile: Who keeps a machete in their car?  It's not like lawn services in Rhode Island have to deal with flourishing jungles.


Machetes are useful.
 
2013-08-04 11:49:06 AM  

FrancoFile: Who keeps a machete in their car?  It's not like lawn services in Rhode Island have to deal with flourishing jungles.


Le Marquis de Gallop

/along with a riding crop
//I think you'll like this joke
 
2013-08-04 11:59:23 AM  
static.comicvine.com
 
2013-08-04 12:02:23 PM  
Wrong kid died?
 
2013-08-04 12:03:57 PM  
Keep yantok (rattan fighting sticks) in your car instead of a machete. They're lightweight, durable and less likely to net you a felony charge than a giant farking blade. And they're effective even if you don't know how to use them: anyone who's ever swung a hammer can use them well enough in a pinch.
 
2013-08-04 12:15:24 PM  

Pilikia: Keep yantok (rattan fighting sticks) in your car instead of a machete. They're lightweight, durable and less likely to net you a felony charge than a giant farking blade. And they're effective even if you don't know how to use them: anyone who's ever swung a hammer can use them well enough in a pinch.


I always had my SCA gear in the trunk on Fridays before events. Nothing ever happened because nothing ever does, but if something were to have gone down and I had time to get to my car, I think the buckler would have been my choice. It's a dished steel disk the size of a hubcap and with a nice big handle for you. It can double as offense and defense. Like brass knuckles on steroids.

www.aceros-de-hispania.com

It doesn't look like much, but I wouldn't want to be the guy who catches the boss to the jaw.
 
2013-08-04 12:36:24 PM  
How improvident.
 
2013-08-04 12:37:05 PM  
Crowbar, y. And hold it by the bent end. You want to bash them with a chunk of iron, not stab them and get your tool stuck. Also, chasing is a bad idea. Let them come to you. Even if you're angry as fark, control yourself and let them be the agressor. Even if it doesn't fully constitute self defense, it'll still make you look better.
 
2013-08-04 12:43:24 PM  
The most important question remains unasked, however. What exactly did he say to the girlfriend, and was she asking for it?

"What're you doing here? The dog show's next week!"
 
2013-08-04 12:44:58 PM  
b0.raptrcdn.com

Or better yet, tape some LP4000 batteries to it, and you can chop AND taser.
 
2013-08-04 12:54:03 PM  
this all could have been avoided if he had just texted the police
 
2013-08-04 12:57:03 PM  

Well Armed Sheep: The most important question remains unasked, however. What exactly did he say to the girlfriend, and was she asking for it?

"What're you doing here? The dog show's next week!"


sarahsilvermanonline.com
s3.amazonaws.com
Maybe she was lippy?
 
2013-08-04 12:58:06 PM  
i1.ytimg.com
 
2013-08-04 01:32:46 PM  
What I imagine Marquis Gallop might look like:

s3.amazonaws.com
 
TWX
2013-08-04 01:50:21 PM  

Well Armed Sheep: Crowbar, y. And hold it by the bent end. You want to bash them with a chunk of iron, not stab them and get your tool stuck. Also, chasing is a bad idea. Let them come to you. Even if you're angry as fark, control yourself and let them be the agressor. Even if it doesn't fully constitute self defense, it'll still make you look better.


It's more effective if you swing the bent crook end at them with the point turned away from them.  There's more mass at that end and so it'll bash harder, but still won't get stuck.

FrancoFile: Who keeps a machete in their car?  It's not like lawn services in Rhode Island have to deal with flourishing jungles.


I used to keep a bastard sword in my truck, but admittedly I was young and thought that sort of thing was cool back then.  If Machete had come out back then I may have kept one of those for a time

/now keeps a piece of 3 foot long, 1/2" wrapped pipe
//doubles as a cheater-bar for getting the lugnuts off, and with the coating, won't readily rust
///the threaded end would make for some rather interesting welts
 
2013-08-04 01:58:38 PM  

TWX: Well Armed Sheep: Crowbar, y. And hold it by the bent end. You want to bash them with a chunk of iron, not stab them and get your tool stuck. Also, chasing is a bad idea. Let them come to you. Even if you're angry as fark, control yourself and let them be the agressor. Even if it doesn't fully constitute self defense, it'll still make you look better.

It's more effective if you swing the bent crook end at them with the point turned away from them.  There's more mass at that end and so it'll bash harder, but still won't get stuck.

FrancoFile: Who keeps a machete in their car?  It's not like lawn services in Rhode Island have to deal with flourishing jungles.

I used to keep a bastard sword in my truck, but admittedly I was young and thought that sort of thing was cool back then.  If Machete had come out back then I may have kept one of those for a time

/now keeps a piece of 3 foot long, 1/2" wrapped pipe
//doubles as a cheater-bar for getting the lugnuts off, and with the coating, won't readily rust
///the threaded end would make for some rather interesting welts


Exactly. If you hit them with the straight end, you don't have any mass advantage on the leading edge. Have that hunk of metal on the end and you can break a bone pretty easily. Some machete's will have a blade that is wider at the tip for greater penetration due to the mass giving it better momentum.

Kukris are pretty awesome.
 
2013-08-04 02:27:27 PM  
Whether charging up Pork Chop Hill or just showing those cheatin' sons of biatches down at the pool hall who's boss, the Ruminator .45 is the perfect sidearm for any occasion.
 
2013-08-04 03:19:46 PM  

LeroyBourne: Well Armed Sheep: The most important question remains unasked, however. What exactly did he say to the girlfriend, and was she asking for it?

"What're you doing here? The dog show's next week!"

[sarahsilvermanonline.com image 492x266]
[s3.amazonaws.com image 850x478]
Maybe she was lippy?


Man, there's a guy whose career went nowhere.  Not Benicio, the other guy.
 
2013-08-04 04:28:31 PM  
Did he have a ring finger missing?
 
2013-08-04 05:26:36 PM  

doglover: Pilikia: Keep yantok (rattan fighting sticks) in your car instead of a machete. They're lightweight, durable and less likely to net you a felony charge than a giant farking blade. And they're effective even if you don't know how to use them: anyone who's ever swung a hammer can use them well enough in a pinch.

I always had my SCA gear in the trunk on Fridays before events. Nothing ever happened because nothing ever does, but if something were to have gone down and I had time to get to my car, I think the buckler would have been my choice. It's a dished steel disk the size of a hubcap and with a nice big handle for you. It can double as offense and defense. Like brass knuckles on steroids.



It doesn't look like much, but I wouldn't want to be the guy who catches the boss to the jaw.


I've always thought sword-and-buckler would be a fun thing to learn. I like the flow, and the use of both hands. Don't know anything more than what I've seen on TV and the occasional SCA demo at street fairs etc.
 
2013-08-04 05:48:51 PM  

Bslim: Tell us more about this wonderful tool.


I am fond of the versatile machete. It should be a more common fighting weapon. Plus, you can learn to use it by practicing with a couple 28" long sticks, and not attract any law enforcement attention.
 
2013-08-04 08:27:52 PM  

Gyrfalcon: Bslim: Tell us more about this wonderful tool.

I am fond of the versatile machete. It should be a more common fighting weapon. Plus, you can learn to use it by practicing with a couple 28" long sticks, and not attract any law enforcement attention.


Hang out in the caribbean a bit. In fact, no, don't. At least, not on any of the big islands.

I keep a couple of machetes around. A thinner, rough, kinda surface-rusted one for yard work and a fairly nice one with a matte black finish in my room. I want to get a really nice, shiny one as a wallhanger.
 
2013-08-04 09:14:22 PM  
You want to fight with a big knife, fight with a big knife that's designed and balanced for fighting. Machetes make great yard tools and terrible weapons, in spite of the (undeserved) reputation they gained after Rwanda.
 
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