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(Fark)   When in your relationship do you meet each other's parents?   (fark.com) divider line 184
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2610 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Aug 2013 at 1:47 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-08-04 09:53:47 AM  
My last BF didn't meet my parents thankfully because mine would have wondered what I was doing with him in the first place. I met his mom around month 4-5 and went on a camping trip with his extended family around month 9. The relationship ended around month 10 or so when he informed me that my going to school was irresponsible since I had to take out loans and he wanted a highly educated babymaker (his words not mine) to stay home while he worked in IT.

I do not understand men who specifically want a girl engineer to give up her career for him. Is it the "Im so awesome she gave everything up" mentality?

/Single and comfortable with it.
//Good luck out there if you're looking.
///slashies
 
2013-08-04 09:55:43 AM  
My parents are deceased.  However, my husband met my youngest child and my younger brother the day we met - he asked my daughter to join us for dinner and while we were having dessert and coffee at the apartment, my brother came home (we shared an apartment at the time).

I met his parents after we'd been together 3.5 years and living together for 2.5 years.  It happened that we had to go up to his parents' area for work and decided to visit.  His dad spent most of the evening either griping about how his son never visits (well, we do live half a continent away), griping at his wife or watching Fox News at a volume that could be heard in the next county.  His mother prepared diner for us, cooking my husband's favorite meal.  She also pointed out that his room was ready for him and she'd be glad to make me up a place to sleep in the basement, then was wholly disappointed to be informed we had a hotel room back in town (needed to remote back to a PC at the office and run reports).  The entire time we were there, she kept asking him when he was going to settle down, get married and give her grandchildren.

We finally married after eight years together.  When we told his parents, his mom responded "But, what about grandchildren?"
 
2013-08-04 09:56:30 AM  

Cthulhu_is_my_homeboy: Quackadam: Every time I met the parents, if her Mother liked me, it was the death nail of the relationship. So now I try not to.

Knell. It's called a death knell. It literally means ringing churchbells to announce a death.

[foodcourtlunch.com image 300x200]

That would be a death nail.


Thank you for the correction and origins. I always thought it meant the "last nail in the coffin" kind of a thing!
 
2013-08-04 10:02:25 AM  
She met mine a few months before we got together.  I met hers about 5 years after the wedding.  There was a major language barrier, I never had any meaningful communication with her mother and only quite limited communication with her father.
 
2013-08-04 10:18:32 AM  
Whenever you feel like it.
 
2013-08-04 10:18:35 AM  
What does that big word that begins with "r" mean?
 
2013-08-04 10:32:44 AM  

Aar1012: Should it be before you've lived together two years and she's knocked up with your hell spawn?

Because if that's the case....then I might have some issues


The delivery room is going to be AWKWARD
 
2013-08-04 10:47:31 AM  
At what age?
 
2013-08-04 11:09:31 AM  

Errk: rev. dave: Advice to guys in their 20's.  At least see a current picture of her mother, she will look like that in a few years, you have been warned.

I hope so.

My MIL is great looking and in great shape for being 74 years old.


Agreed. My MIL is 82. My wife is 52. Both of the look at least 20 years younger than their age. No BS.

Biggest difference is that MIL is a batshiat crazy, paranoid woman who hasn't changed in that regard since I first met her in 1984. My wife determined never to be like her mother, and has been successful  in doing so.
 
2013-08-04 11:14:31 AM  

leftyblonde: Never again.


God yes. My parents are/were enough to scare anyone away. When I took my ex-husband (then fiancé) to meet them, my dad answered the door with no pants on and my mother yelled down from her bedroom that she wasn't coming out.

You'd think I'd have learned, but I tried again with the next guy. I won't traumatize you with the details, but it was an order of magnitude worse than the no-pants incident.

Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER again.
 
2013-08-04 11:17:01 AM  

rev. dave: Advice to guys in their 20's.  At least see a current picture of her mother, she will look like that in a few years, you have been warned.


That m
 
2013-08-04 11:24:45 AM  
Met mine a couple of months after my wife started stopping over for the weekend. I'd taken a new antihistamine, was given a small glass of wine with lunch and slept all afternoon. MiL told my wife I was not very exciting after I'd left (still yawning).

Must have lulled them into a false sense of security as, after we'd moved in together, my FiL always assumed the 2nd bedroom was my wife's.
 
2013-08-04 11:42:47 AM  
My girl took awhile to introduce me... I would have forced the issue sooner but every time i would pick her up from her parents farm their pitbull cross and their borber collie would sit at the door of my truck snarling like demons... So i never got out... Not so much that i was afraid of the dogs but that i didnt want to introduce myself as "hi im mike -- im not just your daughters 'friend' and i kicked your dog in the face after it bit me" -- they were nice dogs they just hated everyone untill you spent a few days around them. She didnt tell her parents we were going out for a good while. She was kind of hoping one of her brothers would bring a girl home first -- 3 older brothers all over 20 and nobody had broken that ice? I was the first... I didnt tell my family either because then they would have been constantly asking me how things are going. My mom acts like some sort of weird jewish matriarchal stereotype sometimes... (all the time) -- the first meeting her parents went pretty well. They are both dutch immigrants and they talk with their outside voices ALL THE TIME. And her dad and i just chatted about farming for an hour or two and her mom kept apologizing about how messy the house was and her brothers sort of milled about arguing loudly about geek stuff.

I was 19 when my mom tried giving me 'the talk' -- it amounted to her saying 'the pill doesnt work all the time and i had a miscarriage just after meeting your father..." (my wife got the talk to and it amounted to her dad saying 'condoms dont work... just look -- i have 6 kids..') Omfgod that was retarded. If you havent giving your kid the talk by the time they turn into legal adults just... Just dont do it at all. Just dont. You missed your shot and now your just launching bullets into a crowd of innocents. Dont.
 
2013-08-04 11:55:45 AM  
Whenever they request  a middle school parent teacher conference with me
 
2013-08-04 12:08:07 PM  
I was working, so they picked her up a the post office.ts4.mm.bing.net
 
2013-08-04 12:17:38 PM  

Quackadam:  Every time I met the parents, if her Mother liked me, it was the death nail of the relationship. So now I try not to.


OMFG. "death KNELL"
 
2013-08-04 12:29:59 PM  

Sir Cumference the Flatulent: I met my wife's parents when we came to Germany after the wedding. I didn't speak German, and they didn't speak English. My parents were already dead by the time my wife and I met. Bullet dodged.


Did you marry an East German? I as because every West German born after WW II was taught English in school.
 
2013-08-04 01:10:18 PM  

Quackadam:  Every time I met the parents, if her Mother liked me, it was the death nail of the relationship. So now I try not to.


"Death nail"? Now there's an eggcorn if ever I saw one.

/death knell
 
2013-08-04 01:13:59 PM  
Never happened, and I've been married for ten years. The parents of all the people I've dated seriously (all three of them) have either been dead, estranged, or several states away.

My parents have only met my husband; obviously, since my elderly mother lives with us. She hates him and he's stressed out by her. Fun!
 
2013-08-04 03:05:28 PM  
I met my bf's mom and stepdad at about the one month mark. We all lived in cities within about two hours away from each other, so they came up on a weekend I happened to be there, so it just sort of happened. We met each other's dads six or so months later (mine lives two hours away, his 30min). He didn't meet my mom until it had been about a year. I wish we could have stretched that out longer, as she behaved terribly and unleashed some serious crazy in front of him (the crazy was directed to me). I was mortified. He stayed out of it and shrugged it off. Worst Thanksgiving in recent memory.

Now he and I live together in the city where he grew up and where his mom and stepdad live. They're pretty normal, not intrusive and invite us to dinner every Sunday. I guess things were quite farked up once upon a time, but they're great now. I hit the jackpot in terms of seeing what a normal family is like.
 
2013-08-04 03:11:01 PM  

rev. dave: Advice to guys in their 20's.  At least see a current picture of her mother, she will look like that in a few years, you have been warned.


Ever take a good look at your Dad?  Shoe on the other foot and such...
 
2013-08-04 03:11:20 PM  
I met her mother a couple of minutes before I met her.

I was driving along to pick up my dad, who'd dropped a car off where my mom worked so she could drive home. There's this kid riding his bike and looking back at his friends hanging out at the gas station. I realize he ain't stoppin' at that stop sign and jam on the brakes but it's damp from a rain and I don't quite get stopped. He lands on my hood, rolls off and grabs his bike, which is now unridable and runs off with it. I get his name out of him and that he's ok before he gets away completely and continue on to pick up dad.

Dad says we have to report this to the police even though everything seemed ok. So we go there on the way home and tell them the story and when I get to his name they say "We know who that is." Also that I'm cool so don't worry about it.

Using the info from the police, I call his home and arrange to meet his mother a couple of days later. While I'm talking to her, her daughter walks into the room. Our eyes meet. A ray of that newfangled laser light passes between our eyes (hey, it was the mid 60s and yes I'm old). We celebrated out 45th anniversary earlier this summer.
 
2013-08-04 03:23:30 PM  

Cthulhu_is_my_homeboy: Quackadam: Every time I met the parents, if her Mother liked me, it was the death nail of the relationship. So now I try not to.

Knell. It's called a death knell. It literally means ringing churchbells to announce a death.

[foodcourtlunch.com image 300x200]

That would be a death nail.


thank you.  That was driving me crazy.  It was the bastard child of two phrases almost worthy of mention in Boondock Saints.  Nail in the coffin and death knell.
[\threadjack]

depends on the religion and timing.  I met the jewish gf's parents when she had to make a stop at her parents' place.  Father liked me.  Mother and daughter were in the kitchen for 20 minutes.  Dumped by phone 3 days later.  We did have mad monkey farking sex for 3 days before she ended it.  Seems she was trying to save up the good times while she surfed the internet again for a mate.  Her dating ad changed slightly, now with the added "Jewish" in front of "man".  If I hadn't met the parents so early, she may have been able to talk her mother out of demanding she date a nice jewish boy, not a dirty gentile(me)

The mexican catholic raised black ex-gf(father died of something, his marine buddy took in his kids): have yet to meet her adoptive father, but the shiat he pulled on his adoptive daughter makes me want to put a bullet in his brain.  Mental, physical and sexual abuse from the moment she went to live with him.  Kicking her out of the house at 16 after pulling her out of school after 6th grade and pimping her out.  You don't think people like that walk free in this world, but this POS walks free today.  Should I ever meet this man, I can't be held responsible for what I at least try to do to him.  She and I broke up due to ... I am not a therapist, and I can't fix what was done to her or the level of need she has.  I hope she gets the help she needs one day, but it can't come from a layman like me.  Catholics like that give the rest of us a bad name.
 deadhomersociety.files.wordpress.com

orphaned Methodist black gf:  Her mom is still alive, but she is a basket case, and is in an institution.  Her dad up and left his first family one day and moved to TX, met her mom, and had 2 kids.  He then up and left again to start a new family somewhere else.  She has half-siblings all over the country thanks to this guy being a royal douche.  Separation anxiety up the wazoo.  I like clingy women, but the added issues she had about her father abusing her physically just made the relationship whither.

Irish Catholic(same as me) girl, Becca[not her name]: met her dad(and future mother-in-law #6) after a month.  Not all executives jump from position to position in failing companies, keeping alive while the workers starve, but this assh*le does just that.  We went to her father's place because she still lived with him at 25 with her son from a previous relationship.  He wasn't supposed to be there, but his date wanted to see the hunting lodge.  That was an awkward dinner.  Becca cooked, and I'm looking at this 18-19 year old girl who is drunk as a skunk and making advances on a 40-something while his grandson was in his booster seat at the same table.  He was just passing well liquored up, and skipped dessert in favor of his own treat.  Becca and I made a lot more noise that night than the two drunks(bed number 2 that we broke), and I never saw him again.  She is one of the ones that got away.  I'd be married with a step-son and a horde of little ones of my own if I'd played my cards right.

/depressed now
//thanks Fark
 
2013-08-04 03:30:52 PM  

indy_kid: rev. dave: Advice to guys in their 20's.  At least see a current picture of her mother, she will look like that in a few years, you have been warned.

Ever take a good look at your Dad?  Shoe on the other foot and such...


uh, my father is short and chubby, and has most of his hair, even if it is going gray.  I'm well over 6 feet tall and skinny.  Your post does hold true about my brothers, though.  Short and holding off the chubbiness by running and biking and triathalons.

/going to shave the head some day soon.  Not much left to shave off
 
2013-08-04 03:58:49 PM  

Notabunny: italie: Before you meet each other?

Both my wife and I knew our respective in-laws before we met each other. Very weird scenario, but nice to have that off the checklist early...

I had kinda the opposite happen. A college girlfriend I was getting serious about dumped me, but her parents and I remained friends for years after.


Quite a few of my ex-girlfriends still visit my folks regularly. Sometimes I wonder who they were actually dating...
 
2013-08-04 04:14:33 PM  

Bob Falfa: Wife met my family after about 6 months. My mother commented "She's really nice. She'd make a nice addition to the family, if you know what I mean" Yeah, mom, I  think I can piece that one together.
I never met my in-laws. Her father died before we met. Her mother was not a nice person, so she didn't want me to meet her.


Let me guess...you're not the same color/religion/ethnicity?
 
2013-08-04 04:21:21 PM  
My relationship right now is classified as "not-girlfriends" by the chick I'm seeing. She's straight and not down with the idea of being official with a woman, but she loves the sex and doing things together like we're dating so...yeah, whatever, anyway. For some reason, after a month of this relationship, she wanted me to go with her to her parents house for some little family reunion. Free food, cool. The only rule was no acting touchy with each other. We walked in the house and the first thing I see is a huge couchspread that proclaimed "Here Jesus is King". And then a whole bunch of 'muricah! stuff. I don't go around wearing a shirt saying how much I love pussy, but I guess my short mohawk gave it away cause her dad said not a word to me and glared me down from across the room the whole time. It was definitely one of the more awkward few hours ive sat through.

So my answer to that question is, if they love Jesus and hate queers, nevvvvverrrrrrr.
 
2013-08-04 04:42:10 PM  
Here's my meet the mom story-the old man met my mom after I'd known him about 2 months and we weren't even dating at the time, just friends and lived in the same apartment building.  We were bumming around downtown one day and I said, "Hey, that's my mom's office.  Wanna meet her?" He said sure, so we went up to visit my mom.  The old man is pretty well covered in tattoos and my mom always hated that, in addition to having his tongue pierced, and back then, he looked a little bit intimidating, but was sweet as pie and completely charmed my mother.  Her words to me after meeting him once, "Marry that guy." We lost touch for years and years and through the magic that is FaceBook, are now happily living in sin.  Too bad my mom passed away several years ago, she'd be happy to see us together.  I met my ex-husband's parents about 3 weeks after we started dating, but he was living at home at the time.  I don't really think there's any magic number.
 
2013-08-04 04:59:23 PM  
I used to be FWB with a girl from around these here parts (site) and she took me to meet her parents after, like, 3 or so times going out (met her the for first time prolly 2 months prior and didn't start going out till something like 3 weeks later).  Problem was I kinda liked her (hence why I agreed to go) and she had said the same prior, so I thought I things were going well.  Turns out she didn't like me like that after all (oops?) and subsequently ditched me entirely a week or so after agreeing to remain just friends.  So that was nice....

/rule #2415 why to not date Fettes, T or otherwise
//CSB
 
2013-08-04 06:26:11 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-08-04 06:44:45 PM  
When I was 17 I went home with a girl and when we were finished I passed out in her bed. Her stepfather came home from his second shift job, and apparently I was snoring pretty loud. He whipped the sheets off the bed and there I was completely naked being yelled at by an enormous black guy. Scared the living shiat out of me. Not a good way to meet someone's parents.
 
2013-08-04 10:24:15 PM  
The day after you stick your dick in her mouth.
 
2013-08-04 10:49:10 PM  
I first met my mother-in-law about three years after the marriage, and the father-in-law two years after that.

/Married a foreign student before she return home after graduation.
 
2013-08-04 11:01:50 PM  
For those of you not yet married, here's a word of advice.  Don't.

/then you don't need to meet the in-laws.
 
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