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(BBC)   A German boy finds a mummy in the attic, early reports indicate that it is deaf, dumb and blind   (bbc.co.uk) divider line 56
    More: Interesting, mummies, X-rayed, grandmother  
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5629 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Aug 2013 at 5:21 PM (37 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



56 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-08-03 11:28:52 AM
No, you're thinking of Amelia Earhart.
 
2013-08-03 11:48:03 AM
Was there a pinball machine up there with him?
 
2013-08-03 12:13:25 PM
Anne Frank's house is in the Netherlands.

/still give you an 8/10
 
NFA [TotalFark]
2013-08-03 12:33:17 PM
media.tumblr.com
 
2013-08-03 02:38:58 PM
Was it a condo made of stona?
 
2013-08-03 02:50:18 PM
Subby, it's an old joke but for some reason I still keep laughing at it.
 
2013-08-03 03:07:40 PM

Darth_Lukecash: Was it a condo made of stona?


" I love to sing-a
About the moon-a and the June-a and the Spring-a."

www.spscriptorium.com

Christ, now I have to watch that episode again. And I have real responsibilities going on here.

Mainly I want to watch for this:

images.tvrage.com

No matter how educated or cultured you get in life, farting flames from your ass is timeless humor.
 
2013-08-03 03:12:19 PM
Alright, episode is cued. I'm off to shirk responsibility to watch an animated fat kid shoot fire from his ass.

I am 38 years old.
 
2013-08-03 03:53:15 PM
Did they check the basement too? Might want to open some trunks down there.

Kids love to crawl in there and tie ligatures around their neck.
 
2013-08-03 04:57:22 PM

dickfreckle: Darth_Lukecash: Was it a condo made of stona?

" I love to sing-a
About the moon-a and the June-a and the Spring-a."

[www.spscriptorium.com image 400x300]

Christ, now I have to watch that episode again. And I have real responsibilities going on here.

Mainly I want to watch for this:



[images.tvrage.com image 250x186]

No matter how educated or cultured you get in life, farting flames from your ass is timeless humor.




*sighs* apparently I've found something obscure
 
2013-08-03 05:29:02 PM
Hopefully it's not Nephren-Ka.
 
2013-08-03 05:31:28 PM
25.media.tumblr.com

HUUUUG!  CUUUURSE!
 
2013-08-03 05:31:37 PM

dickfreckle: Alright, episode is cued. I'm off to shirk responsibility to watch an animated fat kid shoot fire from his ass.

I am 38 years old.


Chronologically maybe....

/still watch South Park meself
 
2013-08-03 05:34:37 PM
I bet it is the kid's grandfather!
 
2013-08-03 05:35:06 PM

dickfreckle: Darth_Lukecash: Was it a condo made of stona?

" I love to sing-a
About the moon-a and the June-a and the Spring-a."



Christ, now I have to watch that episode again. And I have real responsibilities going on here.

Mainly I want to watch for this:



No matter how educated or cultured you get in life, farting flames from your ass is timeless humor.


did the three stooges do that?

/wish they did it first if not
//bad kitty!
 
2013-08-03 05:35:31 PM

dickfreckle: Alright, episode is cued. I'm off to shirk responsibility to watch an animated fat kid shoot fire from his ass.

I am 38 years old.


Which episode is that?
 
2013-08-03 05:37:35 PM

dickfreckle: Subby, it's an old joke but for some reason I still keep laughing at it.


Anne Frankly I'm tired of it.
 
2013-08-03 05:39:46 PM
new hide and seek champion
 
2013-08-03 05:46:58 PM
Now when I die,
don't think I'm a nut.
Don't want no fancy funeral,
just one like old King Tut.

/buried in my jammies
 
2013-08-03 06:03:30 PM
That article had me do a minute of google research on mummies. I never realized there were so many.

One website's estimation was in the millions. With many thousands unearthed. Some graveyards having 10,000 or so. That may be a little far fetched but the ancient Egyptian civilization did last 2-3k years. I just thought mummification was reserved for the ruling class.
 
2013-08-03 06:04:21 PM

NFA: [media.tumblr.com image 500x285]


EEEP!

24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-08-03 06:05:34 PM

Nefarious: Was there a pinball machine up there with him?


----DONE, came to mention that.
 
2013-08-03 06:06:24 PM
bradabraham.com
 
2013-08-03 06:07:17 PM
"And there was a trend for mummy unwrapping parties in the 1950s, he said."

This is exactly why rock and roll was invented. Those folks were clearly running out of ideas.
 
2013-08-03 06:10:22 PM

phishrace: "And there was a trend for mummy unwrapping parties in the 1950s, he said."

This is exactly why rock and roll was invented. Those folks were clearly running out of ideas.


If anything, rock and roll amplified German weirdness.

Give a German death metal band a mummy and see what happens
 
2013-08-03 06:42:11 PM
When giving the Mummy an orientation talk on modern cultures, be sure to advise it to stay out of public restrooms.
i297.photobucket.com
 
2013-08-03 06:54:32 PM
Was it teriyaki style?
 
2013-08-03 06:59:53 PM
Will the real Ann Frank please remain lying, silent, and motionless?
We have a winnah!
 
2013-08-03 07:00:25 PM

uber humper: That article had me do a minute of google research on mummies. I never realized there were so many.

One website's estimation was in the millions. With many thousands unearthed. Some graveyards having 10,000 or so. That may be a little far fetched but the ancient Egyptian civilization did last 2-3k years. I just thought mummification was reserved for the ruling class.


Untold millions of individuals were mummified, not counting sacred animals such as cats, bulls, etc. There were so many that in the XIXth century they ground up millions of them to make fertilizer. Prior to this, mummies were an expensive ingredient in quack medicines. The steam age made it cheap and easy to transport enormous numbers of people, dead or otherwise. Sailors and tourists bought large quantities of souvenirs, some of them real and some of them fake, some just cheap and to be found in enormous dumps not unlike those that we are leaving future generations.

Mummification was originally a very complex process reserved for royalty, high priests and top officials. However, after a couple of revolutions and some major religous changes, immortality became affordable for the masses.

Cheaper mummification processes were developed and used on the middle classes, while the poor were basically wrapped in a shroud and chucked into shallow graves where the dry desert sands preserved them in vast numbers.

The proper mummification process started with the removal of the internal organs and the drawing of the brain out through the nose. Very elaborate embalming was used--for example, the body was soaked in a brine solution for about two months, and it was treated with expensve resins, oils and perfumes.

The middle class option was much faster, cheaper and ironically, did less damage to the body.

The basic burial for the poor did not guarantee immortality or a fancy post-mortem lifestyle because they could not take it with them, havng little or nothing to take with them. Socialist Heaven was invented for these people. Only it wasn't pie in the sky, it was more like an underground mall.
 
2013-08-03 07:02:53 PM

Fark It: Anne Frank's house is in the Netherlands.

/still give you an 8/10


Who the hell is Anne Frank?
The joke was clearly referencing Harriet Tubman.
 
2013-08-03 07:06:00 PM
uber humper:
. I just thought mummification was reserved for the ruling class.

Nope! It was a pretty standard practice. There were three different forms of mummification that the Egyptians did, each one depended on class but more precisely on what the person's family could afford.

Method 1:

Starts with a long purification (70 days, the amount of time it takes the person to travel through the underworld). They dry the body, then they remove the organs (except for the kidneys because they thought they had no importance). Before the 18th century the would make an incision on the hip, afterward it was made in the pubic region. They would then stuff the body and organs with a temporary agent. Before the 18th century the organs were than placed in the jars, anything after that they usually wrapped them in linen and placed them back inside the body, the presence of jars seems to make me think this is an older mummy. They would then remove the brain through a hole punched into the nasal cavity (not through the nostrils as commonly believed.) they would whisk the brain and then turn the mummy over to let it drain out. The heart was left in as well, as they considered it the brain and the place of wisdom. It had to stay with the mummy. They then bathed the body in natron for 40 days, and then (not always) coated in resin. They then covered the body with oils, mud and sawdust and then colored (red = male, yellow = female). The next 15 days would be spent wrapping the mummy. Later centuries saw them using leather straps and beads to hold the arms in place. Finally a mask would be placed over the face, another set of resin and perfume. Fin.

Method 2:

No incision, no organs removed. An oil made from cedar is injected through the anal cavity and it is ummm "sealed" to stop it from leaking out. It is then bathed in natron. The holes are uncorked and the liquid comes out and takes with it all the organs which have been dissolved and turned into a pulp. Nothing is left but skin and bone.

Method 3:

I'm not 100% sure the steps on this one, but it is "purged" of the organs and bathed in natron for 70 days. It's the cheapest method. I'm not sure how they "purge" the organs :S

/Hope that helps!
 
2013-08-03 07:10:32 PM
I'm not claiming any expertise in mummies but I would say that this item is an early Twentieth Century fake. The wrappings are too neat and tight and don't look right to me. I have seen a few mummies and fragments and the cloth is looser, rougher, more white-brown in colour, and damaged from thousands of years of neglect.

The article gives a probable provenance which would explain this.

Some fake mummies are from carneval sideshows. On the other hand, some of the mummies in old carneval sideshows were real: several of the Ramses Dynasty were on display in Canada and the United States (near Niagra Falls) in the early Twentieth Century. Political correctness and science have convinced people to treat other people's ancestors with a bit more respect or at least scientific rigour nowadays, but in those days, anything could attract a mob of Rubes.

Sailors used to bring things like this home from their travels. The Museum of New Brunswick in Saint John, New Brunswick, Canada, benefited from several mummies and other genuine artifacts found in the attics of local families. There must be tons of artifacts in the hands of descedants of American tourists, ship captains, and sailors. They didn't always have cargoes on the return trip, so they could bring back some large and strange items on a whim.

It would not be entirely unheard of for a New England family to have such an item in their attic or box room today. The Victorians and Edwardians loved to collect things. They had the first pick when tourism became routine, and thus were less likely to bring home fakes because nobody needed to make fakes when there was plenty of real old junk lying around for the taking.
 
2013-08-03 07:10:42 PM
brantgoose

marius2



Thanks guys!
 
2013-08-03 07:31:04 PM

Mock26: dickfreckle: Alright, episode is cued. I'm off to shirk responsibility to watch an animated fat kid shoot fire from his ass.

I am 38 years old.

Which episode is that?


If you start to watch them all from the beginning you're bound to find it.
 
2013-08-03 07:31:09 PM
 
2013-08-03 07:34:10 PM

uber humper: That article had me do a minute of google research on mummies. I never realized there were so many.

One website's estimation was in the millions. With many thousands unearthed. Some graveyards having 10,000 or so. That may be a little far fetched but the ancient Egyptian civilization did last 2-3k years. I just thought mummification was reserved for the ruling class.


They used to use them to power the steam trains.
 
2013-08-03 07:35:30 PM

anotar: When giving the Mummy an orientation talk on modern cultures, be sure to advise it to stay out of public restrooms.
[i297.photobucket.com image 374x499]


One of his absolute best ever.
 
2013-08-03 07:37:38 PM

uber humper: brantgoose

marius2


Thanks guys!


No problem, it's my job to know this stuff :P
 
2013-08-03 07:46:35 PM
No ifs, ands or buts...it's Tut!

Any other mummy is a gyp.
 
2013-08-03 07:55:56 PM

uber humper: That article had me do a minute of google research on mummies. I never realized there were so many.

One website's estimation was in the millions. With many thousands unearthed. Some graveyards having 10,000 or so. That may be a little far fetched but the ancient Egyptian civilization did last 2-3k years. I just thought mummification was reserved for the ruling class.


There were many times throughout their history that everybody except the super-poor were mummified. The quality was often dodgy but it wasn't always an expensive process. Also, many other cultures adopted he practice at various times as a fad that would come and go.  They have discovered Egyptian styled native mummies in Italy, India, Ethiopia; basically anywhere that the Egyptians came into contact with generally had periodic mummy crazes.
And you absolutely right 4,000 years of mummy accumulation means they were everywhere  Until people started eating them and using them as fuel.
 
2013-08-03 08:10:09 PM

Nefarious: Was there a pinball machine up there with him?


I was going to ask if its name was Tommy but you pretty much beat me to it.
 
2013-08-03 08:23:35 PM

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: Fark It: Anne Frank's house is in the Netherlands.

/still give you an 8/10

Who the hell is Anne Frank?
The joke was clearly referencing Harriet Tubman.


Anne Frank was a airplane pilot who disappeared flying around the world
 
2013-08-03 08:25:02 PM

marius2: uber humper:
. I just thought mummification was reserved for the ruling class.

Nope! It was a pretty standard practice. There were three different forms of mummification that the Egyptians did, each one depended on class but more precisely on what the person's family could afford.

Method 1:

Starts with a long purification (70 days, the amount of time it takes the person to travel through the underworld). They dry the body, then they remove the organs (except for the kidneys because they thought they had no importance). Before the 18th century the would make an incision on the hip, afterward it was made in the pubic region. They would then stuff the body and organs with a temporary agent. Before the 18th century the organs were than placed in the jars, anything after that they usually wrapped them in linen and placed them back inside the body, the presence of jars seems to make me think this is an older mummy. They would then remove the brain through a hole punched into the nasal cavity (not through the nostrils as commonly believed.) they would whisk the brain and then turn the mummy over to let it drain out. The heart was left in as well, as they considered it the brain and the place of wisdom. It had to stay with the mummy. They then bathed the body in natron for 40 days, and then (not always) coated in resin. They then covered the body with oils, mud and sawdust and then colored (red = male, yellow = female). The next 15 days would be spent wrapping the mummy. Later centuries saw them using leather straps and beads to hold the arms in place. Finally a mask would be placed over the face, another set of resin and perfume. Fin.

Method 2:

No incision, no organs removed. An oil made from cedar is injected through the anal cavity and it is ummm "sealed" to stop it from leaking out. It is then bathed in natron. The holes are uncorked and the liquid comes out and takes with it all the organs which have been dissolved and turned into a pulp. Nothing is left but skin ...

That was really interesting, thanks
 
2013-08-03 08:30:57 PM
SmackLT:

No problem, I'm just glad people read it hehe :)
 
2013-08-03 08:42:18 PM

Mock26: dickfreckle: Alright, episode is cued. I'm off to shirk responsibility to watch an animated fat kid shoot fire from his ass.

I am 38 years old.

Which episode is that?


Cartman Gets an Anal Probe

First episode of South Park
 
2013-08-03 08:47:41 PM
I so wish I had an attic in which I would find interesting things like this.
 
2013-08-03 09:02:12 PM

dickfreckle: Darth_Lukecash: Was it a condo made of stona?

" I love to sing-a
About the moon-a and the June-a and the Spring-a."

[www.spscriptorium.com image 400x300]

Christ, now I have to watch that episode again. And I have real responsibilities going on here.

Mainly I want to watch for this:

[images.tvrage.com image 250x186]

No matter how educated or cultured you get in life, farting flames from your ass is timeless humor.


http://io9.com/5886529/japanese-fart-scrolls-prove-that-human-art-pe ak ed-centuries-ago  Edo period fart war art.
 
2013-08-03 09:57:02 PM

saturn badger: uber humper: They used to use them to power the steam trains.


No they didn't. That was satire by Mark Twain.
 
2013-08-03 11:51:24 PM
Darth_Lukecash:

*sighs* apparently I've found something obscure

Not obscure, just old. I don't know how many time I listened to the album as a kid.
ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2013-08-03 11:53:03 PM
*times
 
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