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(Yahoo)   Alabama state champion high school coach fired because he attended the wrong church   (sports.yahoo.com) divider line 203
    More: Obvious, Alabama State, Alabama, athletic director, Montgomery Advertiser  
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17883 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Aug 2013 at 12:02 AM (36 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



203 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-08-02 08:13:41 PM
Wow. I was expecting some sort of Satanist or Scientology trolling, but the headline rings true.

He's attending a widespread evangelical Protestant non-denominational mega church instead of the local evangelical Protestant denominational church.
 
2013-08-02 08:25:15 PM

Somacandra: Wow. I was expecting some sort of Satanist or Scientology trolling, but the headline rings true.


I thought it was subby trolling and expected the guy to be atheist.
 
2013-08-02 08:26:13 PM

Somacandra: Wow. I was expecting some sort of Satanist or Scientology trolling, but the headline rings true.

He's attending a widespread evangelical Protestant non-denominational mega church instead of the local evangelical Protestant denominational church.


Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!"
He said, "Nobody loves me."

I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"
He said, "Yes."

I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?"
He said, "A Christian."

I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?"
He said, "Protestant."

I said, "Me, too! What franchise?"
He said, "Baptist."

I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Baptist."

I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist."

I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region."

I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912."

I said, "Die, heretic scum!" And I pushed him over.

-Emo Phillips
 
2013-08-02 08:59:05 PM
So Sharia law is in effect in Alabama. Got it.
 
2013-08-02 09:25:16 PM
There's a part of me that's got this big Nelson Muntz "Ha-Ha" pic in my mind...I've just got no idea where to point that finger.
 
2013-08-02 09:32:12 PM
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
 
2013-08-02 09:42:15 PM
And the irony is that the school leaders would probably scream about their freedom of religion if anybody else tried to make them switch churches to fit in.

/if the coach was as successful as reported, he probably already has a new job at another school that won't get anal about where he worships.
 
2013-08-02 09:44:23 PM
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-08-02 09:57:38 PM
Jesus Tapdancing Christ
 
2013-08-02 10:20:17 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Jesus Tapdancing Christ


That is also the wrong church.
 
2013-08-02 10:26:23 PM

Mitch Taylor's Bro: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Jesus Tapdancing Christ

That is also the wrong church.


Well, it is reformed pogo stick

/so it has that going for it
 
2013-08-02 10:30:17 PM
Wow. White people problems.
 
2013-08-02 10:43:30 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Mitch Taylor's Bro: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Jesus Tapdancing Christ

That is also the wrong church.

Well, it is reformed pogo stick

/so it has that going for it


No, you forgot the cracker.

img.photobucket.com
 
2013-08-02 10:45:26 PM
You know, a lot of farkers laugh at Christian Persecution Complex (CPC), but Christians ARE being persecuted against by other Christians.
 
2013-08-02 10:52:26 PM

Mitch Taylor's Bro: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Mitch Taylor's Bro: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Jesus Tapdancing Christ

That is also the wrong church.

Well, it is reformed pogo stick

/so it has that going for it

No, you forgot the cracker.

[img.photobucket.com image 392x483]


D'oh!

/how could I forget the Host?
//I must be slipping
 
2013-08-02 10:56:01 PM

Slives: And the irony is that the school leaders would probably scream about their freedom of religion if anybody else tried to make them switch churches to fit in.

/if the coach was as successful as reported, he probably already has a new job at another school that won't get anal about where he worships.


That's what I'm thinking.  The school did a good job of shooting themselves in the foot there.
 
2013-08-02 10:58:47 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Mitch Taylor's Bro: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Mitch Taylor's Bro: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Jesus Tapdancing Christ

That is also the wrong church.

Well, it is reformed pogo stick

/so it has that going for it

No, you forgot the cracker.

[img.photobucket.com image 392x483]

D'oh!

/how could I forget the Host?
//I must be slipping


Say 10 of these and your sin will be forgiven.

ohn1.slausworks.netdna-cdn.com
 
2013-08-02 11:06:35 PM

Mitch Taylor's Bro: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Mitch Taylor's Bro: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Mitch Taylor's Bro: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Jesus Tapdancing Christ

That is also the wrong church.

Well, it is reformed pogo stick

/so it has that going for it

No, you forgot the cracker.

[img.photobucket.com image 392x483]

D'oh!

/how could I forget the Host?
//I must be slipping

Say 10 of these and your sin will be forgiven.

[ohn1.slausworks.netdna-cdn.com image 469x379]


Must I Tebow?
 
2013-08-02 11:09:59 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Mitch Taylor's Bro: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Mitch Taylor's Bro: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Mitch Taylor's Bro: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Jesus Tapdancing Christ

That is also the wrong church.

Well, it is reformed pogo stick

/so it has that going for it

No, you forgot the cracker.

[img.photobucket.com image 392x483]

D'oh!

/how could I forget the Host?
//I must be slipping

Say 10 of these and your sin will be forgiven.

[ohn1.slausworks.netdna-cdn.com image 469x379]

Must I Tebow?


That would be the icing on the cake :-)
 
2013-08-02 11:14:01 PM
Well... duh, obviously they worship very different all powerful, all loving, all knowing Gods!

Go to hell, coach! You f****** heretic!
 
2013-08-02 11:18:52 PM
So in other words he got caught making a payoff to his players like every other Alabama coach does and they needed a reason to fire him to obfuscate it.

I can't figure out how Alabama is one of the poorest states in the union yet can pay their amateur football players such lavish salaries.
 
2013-08-02 11:19:53 PM
Isn't football essentially a religion in Alabama anyway? They should just cut the nonsense and start the Church of Fourth and Inches.
 
2013-08-02 11:20:02 PM
This says it all...

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said "Stop! don't do it!" "Why shouldn't I?" he said. I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!" He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well...are you religious or atheist?" He said, "Religious." I said, "Me too! Are you christian or buddhist?" He said, "Christian." I said, "Me too! Are you catholic or protestant?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me too! Are you episcopalian or baptist?" He said, "Baptist!" I said,"Wow! Me too! Are you baptist church of god or baptist church of the lord?" He said, "Baptist church of god!" I said, "Me too! Are you original baptist church of god, or are you reformed baptist church of god?" He said,"Reformed Baptist church of god!" I said, "Me too! Are you reformed baptist church of god, reformation of 1879, or reformed baptist church of god, reformation of 1915?" He said, "Reformed baptist church of god, reformation of 1915!" I said, "Die, heretic scum", and pushed him off.
-- Emo Phillips
 
2013-08-02 11:39:56 PM
Did anyone post this yet?

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said "Stop! don't do it!" "Why shouldn't I?" he said. I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!" He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well...are you religious or atheist?" He said, "Religious." I said, "Me too! Are you christian or buddhist?" He said, "Christian." I said, "Me too! Are you catholic or protestant?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me too! Are you episcopalian or baptist?" He said, "Baptist!" I said,"Wow! Me too! Are you baptist church of god or baptist church of the lord?" He said, "Baptist church of god!" I said, "Me too! Are you original baptist church of god, or are you reformed baptist church of god?" He said,"Reformed Baptist church of god!" I said, "Me too! Are you reformed baptist church of god, reformation of 1879, or reformed baptist church of god, reformation of 1915?" He said, "Reformed baptist church of god, reformation of 1915!" I said, "Die, heretic scum", and pushed him off.
-- Emo Phillips
 
2013-08-02 11:42:09 PM
Adolf Oliver Nipples:

Yeah, yeah....

/sorry
//wasn't paying attention
///alcohol may have been a factor
 
2013-08-02 11:47:34 PM

miss diminutive: Isn't football essentially a religion in Alabama anyway? They should just cut the nonsense and start the Church of Fourth and Inches.


Violent ground acquisition games such as football is in fact a crypto-fascist metaphor for nuclear war.
 
2013-08-02 11:47:42 PM
FTA: "Phillips tried to make that work, getting his family to start each Sunday at a 9 a.m. service at East Memorial before attending an 11 a.m. service at his family's church of choice, Church of the Highlands".


1.bp.blogspot.com


I sometimes attend that same church.
 
2013-08-02 11:51:03 PM

djkutch: miss diminutive: Isn't football essentially a religion in Alabama anyway? They should just cut the nonsense and start the Church of Fourth and Inches.

Violent ground acquisition games such as football is in fact a crypto-fascist metaphor for nuclear war.



Wow, I was just thinking about that movie.

Do you think it possible that you and I were strangers in a previous life?
 
2013-08-02 11:52:25 PM

djkutch: miss diminutive: Isn't football essentially a religion in Alabama anyway? They should just cut the nonsense and start the Church of Fourth and Inches.

Violent ground acquisition games such as football is in fact a crypto-fascist metaphor for nuclear war.


Also 4-square.
 
2013-08-03 12:07:05 AM
I posted this article to Facebook and got a private missive reminding me that people divide themselves politically and so on. I pointed out that none of the examples of people clanning up (ha) were centered around the idea of loving everyone.

I was told only God does that. fark Alabama. That's why I left, goddamn Baptists.
 
2013-08-03 12:07:57 AM
Time for all the bigots to circlejerk about "OMFG RELEGEON!"
 
2013-08-03 12:08:03 AM
But this is perfectly ok.
i.imgur.com
 
2013-08-03 12:09:06 AM
And all the students of this coach?  When they see this result?  They might just say "This whole religion thing is hoakem" and move on to agnosticism or atheism.

Well done, religious nutters.
 
2013-08-03 12:09:54 AM
Can we just call it Talibama from here on out?
 
2013-08-03 12:09:55 AM

djkutch: miss diminutive: Isn't football essentially a religion in Alabama anyway? They should just cut the nonsense and start the Church of Fourth and Inches.

Violent ground acquisition games such as football is in fact a crypto-fascist metaphor for nuclear war.


To be fair, only the NY Jets bomb that hard.
 
2013-08-03 12:12:04 AM

WhoopAssWayne: Time for all the bigots to circlejerk about "OMFG RELEGEON!"


Bigots? How can you not read a story like this and think things are messed up in Alabama?
 
2013-08-03 12:13:06 AM
Because it never really was about God, just religion.
 
2013-08-03 12:14:09 AM

Amos Quito: djkutch: miss diminutive: Isn't football essentially a religion in Alabama anyway? They should just cut the nonsense and start the Church of Fourth and Inches.

Violent ground acquisition games such as football is in fact a crypto-fascist metaphor for nuclear war.


Wow, I was just thinking about that movie.

Do you think it possible that you and I were strangers in a previous life?


Most certainly.

miss diminutive: djkutch: miss diminutive: Isn't football essentially a religion in Alabama anyway? They should just cut the nonsense and start the Church of Fourth and Inches.

Violent ground acquisition games such as football is in fact a crypto-fascist metaphor for nuclear war.

Also 4-square.


You crazy Canadians can't even do dodge ball properly.
 
2013-08-03 12:14:29 AM

Stoker: Because it never really was about God, just religion.


Spirituality is about God. Religion is about power.
 
2013-08-03 12:14:31 AM
Well, based on the behavior of his followers, Jesus must have been a huge asshole.
 
2013-08-03 12:15:49 AM
So was it the school which demanded that he'd drag his family along as well, or is it just a given in that neck of the woods that they don't get any say in anything?
 
2013-08-03 12:16:38 AM

miss diminutive: Isn't football essentially a religion in Alabama anyway? They should just cut the nonsense and start the Church of Fourth and Inches.


Yep. The first question I was asked at school when I moved there was Auburn or Alabama. I was 14 and coming from PA. I had no clue what they were talking about. I guessed Alabama. That was wrong.

Also, my gym coach was my science teacher. That was a weird year. Then I moved somewhere else.
 
2013-08-03 12:17:25 AM

miss diminutive: Isn't football essentially a religion in Alabama anyway? They should just cut the nonsense and start the Church of Fourth and Inches.


Sound like someone had bad sex this past Independence day.
 
2013-08-03 12:18:09 AM
People who know history know this happened ALL THE TIME in Britain and early America, especially between Episcopalians (Church of England) and Catholics. Major governmental functions would be torn apart when someone in power was part of a different Christian faction. And repeat every decade or so when the pendulum swung the other way.

It was so destructive to the social stability that the founders of the United States wanted to completely separate religion from government. It was Item Number One, Eight O'Clock, Day One: Amendment, The First.

But that's just crazy talk. Of course the founders wanted people to be hired and fired based on whatever religion happened to have the upper hand at the time. Because this country is a Christian nation, after all, and all Christianity is the same. So no worries, folks!
 
2013-08-03 12:18:26 AM

worlddan: miss diminutive: Isn't football essentially a religion in Alabama anyway? They should just cut the nonsense and start the Church of Fourth and Inches.

Sound like someone had bad sex this past Independence day.


Or the best sex of their lives.
 
2013-08-03 12:18:32 AM

whatshisname: Bigots? How can you not read a story like this and think things are messed up in Alabama?


At your urging, I went back and re-read the article -  I hear you.

My wife and I are baptists - have some friend who very thankfully invite us down to warmth and sunshine in January in AL when it's cold as f*ck here. Different world.
 
2013-08-03 12:18:33 AM
And that's why you don't work for a religious school.
 
2013-08-03 12:20:49 AM
led the school's football program to its first state playoff birth

Oh, for fark's sake.....
 
2013-08-03 12:21:07 AM
This is why Jefferson sought to erect a wall of separation between Church and State. Yeah, this is a private school, blah, blah, blah. This is Alabama. This is football. This is putting people in a really unfamiliar place down there. They know what to hate (otherness) and they know what to love (winners at football).
 
2013-08-03 12:21:28 AM
guess they shoulda held them sorta baptists under longer
 
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