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(Huffington Post)   Sometimes the cure is just as bad as the problem. Like when you have to wear a metal colander on your head to protect yourself from seagull attacks   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 50
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4589 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Aug 2013 at 1:43 PM (36 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



50 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-08-02 01:09:55 PM
Maybe she's a member of the Church of FSM.
 
2013-08-02 01:45:48 PM
Wouldn't that strain your neck?
 
2013-08-02 01:46:07 PM
Somebody alert Art Bell.
 
2013-08-02 01:46:38 PM
i469.photobucket.com


feels your pain...
 
2013-08-02 01:48:12 PM
 
2013-08-02 01:48:46 PM
I've been told I have a mind like a steel sieve.
 
2013-08-02 01:48:56 PM
i.cdn.turner.com
 
2013-08-02 01:50:31 PM
The seagull poop will still get in the holes and on your head.
 
2013-08-02 01:51:16 PM
Go to a military surplus store and get a helmet if this is a long term problem.  That way people will think you are a biker chick vs a person keeping the NSA out of you skull.
 
2013-08-02 01:52:47 PM
A couple of alka seltzers would solve this problem.
 
2013-08-02 01:55:59 PM
www.filmbuffonline.com
 
2013-08-02 01:57:45 PM

vudukungfu: A couple of alka seltzers would solve this problem.


ive always wondered (against the day i become homeless)
if that would spoil the meat in some way
 
2013-08-02 02:02:14 PM
I have a cousin who swears birds attack her. Guess who's getting a metal colander for Christmas!
 
2013-08-02 02:05:27 PM
Yes, have some!
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-08-02 02:08:48 PM
It must be stressful for her being under a strain all the time.

vudukungfu: A couple of alka seltzers would solve this problem.


You know this is a myth, right?
 
2013-08-02 02:13:09 PM
I'd go for dual wielding katanas' myself.
 
2013-08-02 02:13:34 PM
Is she capable of doing a Vulcan brain transplant now?
 
2013-08-02 02:14:10 PM
I live in the country, where you always see crows in the road. A friend told me if I ever hit one he'd give me a hundred dollars. I've been trying ever since and haven't got one. Yesterday I was in Atlanta and thought pigeons were the same. I ran over a group of about ten and was like, "Opps!!" The connection here is why don't they kill some of them off? Atl has ten less birds to worry about, now.
 
2013-08-02 02:21:24 PM
Could she not simply claim to be a follower of the Flying Spaghetti Monster?
 
2013-08-02 02:21:44 PM
"...while an attack on an adult is bad, it's another thing with a child," Wilson said.

So an attack on a child is...good?
 
2013-08-02 02:26:33 PM
Someone should buy her an actual helmet (war surplus). At least she'd look cool as the gulls attacked her.
 
2013-08-02 02:28:15 PM
Or get one of these:

thefifthfield.com
 
2013-08-02 02:33:13 PM

zulius: [i.cdn.turner.com image 300x225]


Nu-uh that's my B.N.C.S
 
2013-08-02 02:59:10 PM

I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: "...while an attack on an adult is bad, it's another thing with a child," Wilson said.

So an attack on a child is...good?


No that would be bad AND wrong, or "badong" as it's known to some.
 
2013-08-02 03:16:28 PM

Thelyphthoric: I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: "...while an attack on an adult is bad, it's another thing with a child," Wilson said.

So an attack on a child is...good?

No that would be bad AND wrong, or "badong" as it's known to some.


I thought "badong" was that Japanese extremely enormous (fake) mammary fetish.
 
2013-08-02 03:19:26 PM

Smurfme: I live in the country, where you always see crows in the road. A friend told me if I ever hit one he'd give me a hundred dollars. I've been trying ever since and haven't got one. Yesterday I was in Atlanta and thought pigeons were the same. I ran over a group of about ten and was like, "Opps!!" The connection here is why don't they kill some of them off? Atl has ten less birds to worry about, now.


We tried killing them off here and there was quite an uproar about VDOT killing seagulls. There are large numbers of gulls at the Hampton Roads Bridge Tunnel in Norfolk VA and they get hit by cars and trucks pretty regularly. They are really a traffic hazard. A few years ago they sent some folks out with pellet guns to decrease the population and the public went crazy. The next year they went to their nests and put vegetable oil on their eggs so they wouldn't hatch. I don't think they even try to control the population anymore. The bridges are littered with the carcasses of slow seagulls.
 
2013-08-02 03:20:31 PM
t1.gstatic.com
 
2013-08-02 03:21:57 PM

vudukungfu: A couple of alka seltzers would solve this problem.


Rat poison or methanol-based antifreeze would work better.


FatherChaos: thefifthfield.com


And if you miss, your shot is going to pepper whatever or whomever is on the other side.  So unless they live in a very rural setting, that would be bad.
 
2013-08-02 03:23:52 PM

tuna fingers: Thelyphthoric: I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: "...while an attack on an adult is bad, it's another thing with a child," Wilson said.

So an attack on a child is...good?

No that would be bad AND wrong, or "badong" as it's known to some.

I thought "badong" was that Japanese extremely enormous (fake) mammary fetish.


As long as it's not the one where they have penises where the nipples should be.

/Can't remember the GIS that found me that
 
2013-08-02 03:26:43 PM
Sounds like it's time to remove seagulls from the Migratory Bird Act and take up <a target="_blank" data-cke-saved-href="http://www.fark.com/users/FatherChaos" id="cu85711995">FatherChaos 's idea.
 
2013-08-02 03:30:20 PM
Nothing a little birdshot can't take care of. Fekking rats with wings.
 
2013-08-02 03:33:36 PM

Smurfme: I live in the country, where you always see crows in the road. A friend told me if I ever hit one he'd give me a hundred dollars. I've been trying ever since and haven't got one. Yesterday I was in Atlanta and thought pigeons were the same. I ran over a group of about ten and was like, "Opps!!" The connection here is why don't they kill some of them off? Atl has ten less birds to worry about, now.


Closer to the city (and interstate bridges), we have huge problems with pidgeons.  They are everywhere.  But out in the burbs, where I live, our problem is crows.  On garbage day, it is not an uncommon sight to see an entire street strewn with garbage because those flying rats tear into everything.  Then they just throw it all over the place!
Try chasing them away?  They only leave for a few seconds, then they come back in force.
 
2013-08-02 03:35:18 PM

Vector R: Sounds like it's time to remove seagulls from the Migratory Bird Act


The person in the article is in Kent, England, UK.  Unless the UK was also a signatory of the treaty that the MBA is linked to, I doubt it would help her much.

Not saying it is a bad idea.  Seagulls are mean, nasty birds.  It would be nice if the non-lethal remediation steps weren't such a burden before you were allowed to take the lethal ones.
 
2013-08-02 03:42:16 PM
What you need in times like this are pigeons with laz0r beams attached to their head to attack the gulls.

Or you could introduce a natural predator to keep the seagull numbers in check.
 
2013-08-02 03:46:55 PM
When I was stationed at Barbers Point NAS, on Oahu, we had a major pigeon problem in our maintenance hangar, a huge WWII relic. We were sweeping up about five-ten pounds of pigeon crap daily. It was so bad that the Inspector General sent out a team to investigate.

After the IG was done with their inspection, they had my entire company in formation inside of the hangar, while the Lt. Col. explained that the problem just wasn't that bad, and that we'd have to learn to deal with it. As he addressed us, a pigeon returning from (I assume) Taco Bell, unloaded on his dress uniform busdriver's hat, so much that it ran off and down the back of his Class "A" jacket. Unfortunately, you are not allowed to laugh while standing at attention. So (officially) we didn't.
 
2013-08-02 03:49:52 PM

durbnpoisn: Closer to the city (and interstate bridges), we have huge problems with pidgeons


Where I live we used to have an owl problem but luckily the owl exterminators took care of it. Now if we could only get rid of this marmoset problem we'd be set.
 
2013-08-02 03:59:20 PM
An eagle or peregrine falcon carried on one shoulder will change the attitudes of the seagulls.
 
2013-08-02 04:06:14 PM
Speaking of The Cure.
Anyone heading to Lollapalooza this weekend?
 
2013-08-02 04:08:32 PM

durbnpoisn: Smurfme: I live in the country, where you always see crows in the road. A friend told me if I ever hit one he'd give me a hundred dollars. I've been trying ever since and haven't got one. Yesterday I was in Atlanta and thought pigeons were the same. I ran over a group of about ten and was like, "Opps!!" The connection here is why don't they kill some of them off? Atl has ten less birds to worry about, now.

Closer to the city (and interstate bridges), we have huge problems with pidgeons.  They are everywhere.  But out in the burbs, where I live, our problem is crows.  On garbage day, it is not an uncommon sight to see an entire street strewn with garbage because those flying rats tear into everything.  Then they just throw it all over the place!
Try chasing them away?  They only leave for a few seconds, then they come back in force.


That is truly a murder most foul.
 
2013-08-02 04:09:55 PM

akya: durbnpoisn: Smurfme: I live in the country, where you always see crows in the road. A friend told me if I ever hit one he'd give me a hundred dollars. I've been trying ever since and haven't got one. Yesterday I was in Atlanta and thought pigeons were the same. I ran over a group of about ten and was like, "Opps!!" The connection here is why don't they kill some of them off? Atl has ten less birds to worry about, now.

Closer to the city (and interstate bridges), we have huge problems with pidgeons.  They are everywhere.  But out in the burbs, where I live, our problem is crows.  On garbage day, it is not an uncommon sight to see an entire street strewn with garbage because those flying rats tear into everything.  Then they just throw it all over the place!
Try chasing them away?  They only leave for a few seconds, then they come back in force.

That is truly a murder most fowl.

/FTFM
 
2013-08-02 04:49:14 PM
Stop using this medicine and call your doctor at once if you have:

chest pain, rapid pulse, fast or uneven heart rate;

confusion, hallucinations, severe nervousness;
tremor, seizure (convulsions);
easy bruising or bleeding, unusual weakness;
little or no urinating;
nausea, pain in your upper stomach, itching, loss of appetite, dark urine, clay-colored stools, jaundice (yellowing of your skin or eyes); or
dangerously high blood pressure (severe headache, blurred vision, buzzing in your ears, anxiety, chest pain, shortness of breath, uneven heartbeats, seizure).
Common side effects may include:
dizziness, drowsiness;
mild headache, blurred vision;
dry mouth, nose, or throat;
constipation;
feeling nervous; or
sleep problems (insomnia);
This is not a complete list of side effects and others may occur. Call your doctor for medical advice about side effects.


That is for cold medicine.  I think I will opt for a mild headache, a cough, and a stuffed up nose thank you.
 
2013-08-02 04:58:57 PM
You can't legally kill seagulls...  but who listens to that.
You can legally get air rifles in England, gamo makes .22 shot shells, so the lady doesn't even have to be that good of a shot.
Problem solved.
 
2013-08-02 05:40:02 PM
Depending on the age of the grandchildren give them slingshots and rocks and tell them to have at it.

Just make sure to cover the windows with plywood or something before hand.
 
2013-08-02 06:03:14 PM
Came for james may, leaving satisfied.
 
2013-08-02 06:06:28 PM
Since you already know what they are aiming for:

m.baseballrampage.com
 
2013-08-02 06:59:03 PM

Enemabag Jones: Go to a military surplus store and get a helmet if this is a long term problem.  That way people will think you are a biker chick vs a person keeping the NSA out of you skull.


Go to Walmart and get a BB gun and this won't be a long term problem for long...
 
2013-08-02 07:37:53 PM

Gyrfalcon: Go to Walmart and get a BB gun and this won't be a long term problem for long...


Adult seagulls can be big birds.  At best, you can sting the birds by shooting them after a single pump of the gun.  But you'd be hard pressed to kill one cleanly with most BB guns.  In many cases, it would be a slow painful death.  That's a dick way of removing a pest.
 
2013-08-02 10:43:58 PM

Dinjiin: Gyrfalcon: Go to Walmart and get a BB gun and this won't be a long term problem for long...

Adult seagulls can be big birds.  At best, you can sting the birds by shooting them after a single pump of the gun.  But you'd be hard pressed to kill one cleanly with most BB guns.  In many cases, it would be a slow painful death.  That's a dick way of removing a pest.


OK, go to Walmart and get a shotgun. Goddamn, you're literal.
 
2013-08-03 04:01:37 PM

Smurfme: I live in the country, where you always see crows in the road. A friend told me if I ever hit one he'd give me a hundred dollars. I've been trying ever since and haven't got one. Yesterday I was in Atlanta and thought pigeons were the same. I ran over a group of about ten and was like, "Opps!!" The connection here is why don't they kill some of them off? Atl has ten less birds to worry about, now.


Crows are intelligent, and pigeons are stupid. Why did you expect otherwise?
 
2013-08-03 04:52:20 PM
It took you guys FOUR pics to reference Ghostbusters?

I can't leave you alone for any length of time.
 
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