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(The Chattanoogan)   Atheist demands Christians bang on his door and ask if he knows Jesus as his personal Lord and Savior   (chattanoogan.com) divider line 155
    More: Ironic, Penn Jillette, Penn & Teller, free market capitalism, scientific skepticism, atheists, eternal life  
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12871 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Aug 2013 at 1:37 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



155 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-08-02 12:32:32 AM  
I agree. It's not often I get to point a shotgun at people's heads.
 
2013-08-02 12:43:40 AM  
So basically he watched a "Penn Says" video and then regurgitated it as an article.

YBS
 
2013-08-02 12:47:20 AM  

PC LOAD LETTER: I agree. It's not often I get to point a shotgun at people's heads.


you're committing assault by doing that, and i hope you go to prison for it.
 
2013-08-02 12:48:54 AM  

PC LOAD LETTER: I agree. It's not often I get to point a shotgun at people's heads.


Er, it doesn't work if you invite them.
 
2013-08-02 01:08:57 AM  
There's a massive difference between pulling someone out of the path of a runaway truck that everyone except them can literally see, and running around all day long telling everyone they're going to be punished by an invisible sky wizard that even they can't see.
 
2013-08-02 01:09:20 AM  
I used to like to Fark with religious people that tried to talk to me, now I just say that I believe spirituality is good, and organized religion is bad. That usually works, and those that want to argue that point then suffer the Farking.
 
2013-08-02 01:27:58 AM  

HotWingAgenda: There's a massive difference between pulling someone out of the path of a runaway truck that everyone except them can literally see, and running around all day long telling everyone they're going to be punished by an invisible sky wizard that even they can't see.


Well, there's a difference in how people proselytize (if they do) as well.  Handing someone a pocket bible, book of mormon, hare krishna book, whatever, and just saying 'here, I'd like to share this with you' and leaving it at that won't offend anyone but the most militant of anti-religious folks.

Going up to someone and telling them they're going to hell unless they follow the path that you're about to lecture them on is quite different.
 
2013-08-02 01:28:35 AM  

Livingroom: PC LOAD LETTER: I agree. It's not often I get to point a shotgun at people's heads.

you're committing assault by doing that, and i hope you go to prison for it.


It would help if I actually owned a firearm, but do go on being outraged.
 
2013-08-02 01:44:03 AM  

Dimensio: PC LOAD LETTER: I agree. It's not often I get to point a shotgun at people's heads.

Er, it doesn't work if you invite them.


Flanders: Heidily hey!
Homer: Go home!
Flanders: Toodily doo!
 
2013-08-02 01:44:17 AM  
Sounds like one of those apocryphal stories like the guy who accidentally spills sodium on himself and burns alive while the Christian doctor does what he can. The moral of the story is that putting words in the mouths of others can make for a good story, but it's nothing to hang someone's eternal life on.
 
2013-08-02 01:47:49 AM  

TuteTibiImperes: Going up to someone and telling them they're going to hell unless they follow the path that you're about to lecture them on is quite different.


But is it okay to tell people to go to hell if I can actually give them directions?
 
2013-08-02 01:48:49 AM  
I love Jesus. He has a nice ass
 
2013-08-02 01:50:24 AM  

TuteTibiImperes: and just saying 'here, I'd like to share this with you' and leaving it at that won't offend anyone


Thank you, I'll add it to the pile along with all the others.
 
2013-08-02 01:51:13 AM  
Reminds me of that Seinfeld ep where Elaine, the atheist, was pissed off that her christian boyfriend didn't seem concerned that she was going to hell.
 
2013-08-02 01:52:11 AM  
How much do you have to hate somebody to believe everlasting life is possible and not tell them that?

It's just like Jenny McCarthy proselytizing about the evils of vaccines. Or that abortions give you cancer. Or that all gays want to rape your children. If you truly believe it you have a duty to tell people!
 
2013-08-02 01:53:05 AM  

Livingroom: PC LOAD LETTER: I agree. It's not often I get to point a shotgun at people's heads.

you're committing assault by doing that, and i hope you go to prison for it.


Quit being such a candyass hoplophobe
 
2013-08-02 01:53:11 AM  

nytmare: TuteTibiImperes: and just saying 'here, I'd like to share this with you' and leaving it at that won't offend anyone

Thank you, I'll add it to the pile along with all the others.


Pretty much.  If someone wants to give me something I'll accept it, even if I don't really have a  use for it, if only to be pleasant.
 
2013-08-02 01:54:13 AM  

nucrash: I love Jesus. He has a nice ass


www.turnbacktogod.com
 
2013-08-02 01:55:15 AM  
Matthew 6:1-12, Jebus say do NOT proselytize or pray loud in church or do the street corner preach thing.  Jebus say keep your belief between you and God.  Why all these 'Christians' not do as Christ say?  Why dey hate the Jebus?  And den dey justify it by quoting man who no even believe the Jebus?

/make head hurt now. me not like these 'Christians'.  am need more beer to cope.
 
2013-08-02 01:55:21 AM  
The worst proselytizers are people on diets or who work out.

"I'd like to tell you about how I lost 25lbs on Atkins."
 
2013-08-02 01:56:04 AM  

mcnguyen: Reminds me of that Seinfeld ep where Elaine, the atheist, was pissed off that her christian boyfriend didn't seem concerned that she was going to hell.


"You stole my Jesus fish!!"
 
2013-08-02 01:56:16 AM  

Livingroom: PC LOAD LETTER: I agree. It's not often I get to point a shotgun at people's heads.

you're committing assault by doing that, and i hope you go to prison for it.


This is true you should fire the gun, then everything is good.
 
2013-08-02 01:56:34 AM  
I remember the first time I watched a Jehovah's Witness actually skip my house as they went door-to-door on my street. It was a small but pleasant victory.
 
2013-08-02 01:58:06 AM  
Atheist demands Christians bang on the doors of Jews and Muslims, grabs popcorn.
 
2013-08-02 01:59:23 AM  

NoGods: I remember the first time I watched a Jehovah's Witness actually skip my house as they went door-to-door on my street. It was a small but pleasant victory.


I get people from the Spanish-speaking Jehovah's Witness church at my door on occasion.  They just ask if I or my neighbors speak Spanish, I tell them no, and they just leave.  I don't know why I never get anyone from the English speaking church.
 
2013-08-02 01:59:32 AM  
lh6.googleusercontent.com
 
2013-08-02 02:00:26 AM  
I HNRTFA but it makes me want to watch Jesus Christ SUPERSTAR@@!\\

OR MANYBE ROCKY HORROR AND ALSO YELLLLL!!!!!!\\
 
2013-08-02 02:01:37 AM  

TuteTibiImperes: NoGods: I remember the first time I watched a Jehovah's Witness actually skip my house as they went door-to-door on my street. It was a small but pleasant victory.

I get people from the Spanish-speaking Jehovah's Witness church at my door on occasion.  They just ask if I or my neighbors speak Spanish, I tell them no, and they just leave.  I don't know why I never get anyone from the English speaking church.


Is it because you live in Mexico?
 
2013-08-02 02:02:17 AM  

NoGods: I remember the first time I watched a Jehovah's Witness actually skip my house as they went door-to-door on my street. It was a small but pleasant victory.


Ya but thats easy you just have to be Catholic
 
2013-08-02 02:02:38 AM  

albatros183: I HNRTFA but it makes me want to watch Jesus Christ SUPERSTAR@@!\\

OR MANYBE ROCKY HORROR AND ALSO YELLLLL!!!!!!\\


Carl Anderson had some pipes.
 
2013-08-02 02:03:21 AM  

WillyChase: TuteTibiImperes: NoGods: I remember the first time I watched a Jehovah's Witness actually skip my house as they went door-to-door on my street. It was a small but pleasant victory.

I get people from the Spanish-speaking Jehovah's Witness church at my door on occasion.  They just ask if I or my neighbors speak Spanish, I tell them no, and they just leave.  I don't know why I never get anyone from the English speaking church.

Is it because you live in Mexico?


Florida
 
2013-08-02 02:03:50 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: The worst proselytizers are people on diets or who work out.

"I'd like to tell you about how I lost 25lbs on Atkins."


Atkins is farked up. Go Paleo with HIIT.  That's the way, man.  I lost 40 lbs, and now the women who are 15 years younger can't stay away from me!
 
2013-08-02 02:04:18 AM  

albatros183: Livingroom: PC LOAD LETTER: I agree. It's not often I get to point a shotgun at people's heads.

you're committing assault by doing that, and i hope you go to prison for it.

This is true you should fire the gun, then everything is good.


Christian meets his god, you get to come up with elaborate reason as to why there are dead people at your house sans witnesses. It's a win/win
 
2013-08-02 02:04:51 AM  

TuteTibiImperes: NoGods: I remember the first time I watched a Jehovah's Witness actually skip my house as they went door-to-door on my street. It was a small but pleasant victory.

I get people from the Spanish-speaking Jehovah's Witness church at my door on occasion.  They just ask if I or my neighbors speak Spanish, I tell them no, and they just leave.  I don't know why I never get anyone from the English speaking church.


Get the two broken-down cars off your lawn.
 
2013-08-02 02:07:01 AM  

TuteTibiImperes: Carl Anderson


how would I know who that is, I was at rocky and 15 and I'm drunk so screw you referencing persom!!

LOOOOUUUUDDDDDD!
 
2013-08-02 02:07:51 AM  

Danger Avoid Death: TuteTibiImperes: NoGods: I remember the first time I watched a Jehovah's Witness actually skip my house as they went door-to-door on my street. It was a small but pleasant victory.

I get people from the Spanish-speaking Jehovah's Witness church at my door on occasion.  They just ask if I or my neighbors speak Spanish, I tell them no, and they just leave.  I don't know why I never get anyone from the English speaking church.

Get the two broken-down cars off your lawn.


He has six kids. They need transportation, too
 
2013-08-02 02:09:18 AM  

NoGods: I remember the first time I watched a Jehovah's Witness actually skip my house as they went door-to-door on my street. It was a small but pleasant victory.


Must've been the lamb's blood on your door post. Angels of Death are known to pass over those.
 
2013-08-02 02:09:26 AM  

TuteTibiImperes: HotWingAgenda: There's a massive difference between pulling someone out of the path of a runaway truck that everyone except them can literally see, and running around all day long telling everyone they're going to be punished by an invisible sky wizard that even they can't see.

Well, there's a difference in how people proselytize (if they do) as well.  Handing someone a pocket bible, book of mormon, hare krishna book, whatever, and just saying 'here, I'd like to share this with you' and leaving it at that won't offend anyone but the most militant of anti-religious folks.

Going up to someone and telling them they're going to hell unless they follow the path that you're about to lecture them on is quite different.


This.

I am an atheist, and I have absolutely no problem being civil and polite with people of religion, even if they are trying to convert me. That said, nobody enjoys being harassed.
 
2013-08-02 02:09:32 AM  

albatros183: Livingroom: PC LOAD LETTER: I agree. It's not often I get to point a shotgun at people's heads.

you're committing assault by doing that, and i hope you go to prison for it.

This is true you should fire the gun, then everything is good.


Only two shots, in the air, and while standing on the balcony. I have been assured that doing so is safe and legal.
 
2013-08-02 02:10:04 AM  

pedalphile: Matthew 6:1-12, Jebus say do NOT proselytize or pray loud in church or do the street corner preach thing.  Jebus say keep your belief between you and God.  Why all these 'Christians' not do as Christ say?  Why dey hate the Jebus?  And den dey justify it by quoting man who no even believe the Jebus?

/make head hurt now. me not like these 'Christians'.  am need more beer to cope.


many christians believe what they are told from when they are very young and being brainwashed by their parents, the church and the religion classes they are forced to attend. not all christians read or have a good familiarity with their bible. such is life. and just as you found a reference to support your position, there are other biblical references which support a different position. it's a man made piecemeal book designed to confuse, bewilder and control with a few parts that are filled with nice bits of wisdom.
 
2013-08-02 02:10:36 AM  

albatros183: TuteTibiImperes: Carl Anderson

how would I know who that is, I was at rocky and 15 and I'm drunk so screw you referencing persom!!

LOOOOUUUUDDDDDD!


Also loud.
 
2013-08-02 02:11:48 AM  
What if my religion doesn't believe in proselytizing? How does Penn judge that. Because according to him I must proselytizer him, but if my religion forbids then how can I?

My religion actually prohibits proselytizing other, out belief is that one should come to it by self discovery and not because we shoved it down your throat. At the same time we do beleive that non believer who live a good and moral life do go to heaven, not as nice a part of heaven as ours, but still heaven. and there are other faiths that prohibit proselytizing  other than my own
 
2013-08-02 02:15:39 AM  

jedihirsch: What if my religion doesn't believe in proselytizing? How does Penn judge that. Because according to him I must proselytizer him, but if my religion forbids then how can I?

My religion actually prohibits proselytizing other, out belief is that one should come to it by self discovery and not because we shoved it down your throat. At the same time we do beleive that non believer who live a good and moral life do go to heaven, not as nice a part of heaven as ours, but still heaven. and there are other faiths that prohibit proselytizing  other than my own


By posting that, you are proselytizing.

/join the shut the fark up region.
 
2013-08-02 02:15:47 AM  

NoGods: I remember the first time I watched a Jehovah's Witness actually skip my house as they went door-to-door on my street. It was a small but pleasant victory.


They now skip my house too, because i started to debate them on scripture and they aren't prepared for that, and they got flustered and left, the next time I actually got someone who knew something, that was a fun debate, but he eventually retreated and we agreed on mutual respect as neither side budged. And now they skip me, guess I'm not worth the effort
 
2013-08-02 02:16:01 AM  

KrispyKritter: pedalphile: Matthew 6:1-12, Jebus say do NOT proselytize or pray loud in church or do the street corner preach thing.  Jebus say keep your belief between you and God.  Why all these 'Christians' not do as Christ say?  Why dey hate the Jebus?  And den dey justify it by quoting man who no even believe the Jebus?

/make head hurt now. me not like these 'Christians'.  am need more beer to cope.

many christians believe what they are told from when they are very young and being brainwashed by their parents, the church and the religion classes they are forced to attend. not all christians read or have a good familiarity with their bible. such is life. and just as you found a reference to support your position, there are other biblical references which support a different position. it's a man made piecemeal book designed to confuse, bewilder and control with a few parts that are filled with nice bits of wisdom.


starcasm.net

Or rock hammers.
 
2013-08-02 02:16:11 AM  
Savior from what? Oh, the damnation you're also selling? Yeah, I didn't buy one; I don't need the other, pinhead.
 
2013-08-02 02:16:22 AM  

uber humper: region


Religion. FTFM
 
2013-08-02 02:16:53 AM  

pedalphile: Matthew 6:1-12, Jebus say do NOT proselytize or pray loud in church or do the street corner preach thing.  Jebus say keep your belief between you and God.  Why all these 'Christians' not do as Christ say?  Why dey hate the Jebus?  And den dey justify it by quoting man who no even believe the Jebus?

/make head hurt now. me not like these 'Christians'.  am need more beer to cope.


Like tons of stuff contradictory about Christianity, it's Paul's fault.
 
2013-08-02 02:18:11 AM  
Y'know, I think we've all heard of Jesus and hell at this point.  So, you f*cking done your job, Christians, and you can knock off for a bit and have a few beers.  Mission accomplished!
 
2013-08-02 02:18:17 AM  

TuteTibiImperes: Well, there's a difference in how people proselytize (if they do) as well.  Handing someone a pocket bible, book of mormon, hare krishna book, whatever, and just saying 'here, I'd like to share this with you' and leaving it at that won't offend anyone but the most militant of anti-religious folks.

Going up to someone and telling them they're going to hell unless they follow the path that you're about to lecture them on is quite different.


Sounds about right.  I've had good friends who were Episcopal Ministers, and I've had family members I can't stand who are Catholic.  One of my favorite customers I had at a gas station I worked at was a Jehova's Witness who left me a few Watchtowers every month.  He was a helluva nice guy though.

I'm an atheist, but whatever.  They put up with my bad jokes once the topic was brought up.

Yeah, there are people I won't discuss religion with, but I avoid them overall because they're batshiat crazy in every other way besides religion.  One of them yelled at me SOCIALIST over and over because I said that single payer would help solve a lot of local and state government funding problems.  (To be fair, he was drunker than I was.)
 
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