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(Jezebel)   Are you troubled by strange noises in the night? Do you experience feelings of dread in your attic or basement? Have you or any of your family ever seen a spook, specter or ghost? Call Hot Teen Girl Exorcism Squad   (jezebel.com) divider line 107
    More: Scary  
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11235 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Aug 2013 at 8:08 AM (51 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



107 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2013-08-01 08:10:22 AM
I'd give them some STDs, if you know what I mean.
 
2013-08-01 08:13:11 AM
Yes, have some.
 
2013-08-01 08:14:56 AM
Oh my. The one one the left. Oh my.
 
2013-08-01 08:15:17 AM
Brynne can help expel my demons.
 
2013-08-01 08:15:33 AM
 
2013-08-01 08:15:51 AM

LL316: I'd give them some STDs, if you know what I mean.


You want to see if they can exorcize a golf ball from a garden hose?
 
2013-08-01 08:16:29 AM
Everyone wrestles with thier demons, the jello is optional.
 
2013-08-01 08:16:56 AM

mbillips: Teen Girl Squad!


IT'S OVER!
 
2013-08-01 08:19:19 AM
i642.photobucket.com
 
2013-08-01 08:19:23 AM
So...they're offering to help me with my sexually transmitted demons? Kin...ky....
 
2013-08-01 08:21:27 AM
Do they exercise to please?
 
2013-08-01 08:22:48 AM
"Satan can't just go into anybody that he wants to. He has to have a legal right." Great I bet the do nothing congress and Obama won't change the laws on Demonic possession.
 
2013-08-01 08:22:48 AM
You just don't see this sort of insanity among pagans. Oh you get crazy people, any religion does...but pagans aren't this kind of crazy. Most pagans know that sexual abuse is a trauma that you need help to overcome and don't blame it on evil spirits or Harry potter books.
 
2013-08-01 08:22:54 AM
That's an odd autocorrect. but I'm going to go with it.
 
2013-08-01 08:24:53 AM
Have the red-head washed and brought to my tent*.


*In my pants!
 
2013-08-01 08:26:10 AM
Why would I hire an exorcist to get rid of a squad of hot teen girls?  Sounds kind of golf alpha yankee if you ask me.

/NTTAWWT
 
2013-08-01 08:27:51 AM

Burr: mbillips: Teen Girl Squad!

IT'S OVER!


img64.imageshack.us
 
2013-08-01 08:27:52 AM
On the one hand, I'd like for these girls to go to college, learn something, meet some open-minded guy, and reject all this toxic nonsense they've been raised on. On the other hand, maybe if they met a like-minded fundie guy and got married at 20 and had a passel of babies and drove an SUV to soccer practice for 20 years, they'd be equally happy. I just want the hot girls to be happy, but not stupid; why is that so hard?
 
2013-08-01 08:28:17 AM
How sad.

Do these girls really believe in devils, ghosts, demons etc, or they just in it for the feelings of superiority And control over another person, could be the money down the road too... I've seen several interviews with this same group.

All three options are sad.

How far gone do you have to be to believe Harry Potter is satanic, and a tool of witches..
 
2013-08-01 08:28:25 AM
Vapid is vapid.
 
2013-08-01 08:28:29 AM
That this is real scares me beyond the capacity for rational thought
 
2013-08-01 08:28:49 AM
Margaret Thatcher?
 
2013-08-01 08:29:34 AM

mbillips: On the one hand, I'd like for these girls to go to college, learn something, meet some open-minded guy,* and reject all this toxic nonsense they've been raised on. On the other hand, maybe if they met a like-minded fundie guy and got married at 20 and had a passel of babies and drove an SUV to soccer practice for 20 years, they'd be equally happy. I just want the hot girls to be happy, but not stupid; why is that so hard?


FTFM: "Guy" could also be a nice lesbian.
 
2013-08-01 08:30:01 AM
FTFA: "Satan can't just go into anybody that he wants to. He has to have a legal right."

I'm gonna need one of the Fark Esq'ers to weigh in on this here please.
 
2013-08-01 08:32:11 AM

Pangit: FTFA: "Satan can't just go into anybody that he wants to. He has to have a legal right."

I'm gonna need one of the Fark Esq'ers to weigh in on this here please.


I think the precedent was pretty well established in "Lucifer v. Daniel Webster."
 
2013-08-01 08:32:34 AM
Quick! Somebody call Hot Teen Girl Exorcism Squad over to my house! I watched that video, and now there's ectoplasm splattered all over the place! I think a demon got in! Help, I'm so scared!
 
2013-08-01 08:33:48 AM

Raharu: How sad.

Do these girls really believe in devils, ghosts, demons etc, or they just in it for the feelings of superiority And control over another person, could be the money down the road too... I've seen several interviews with this same group.

All three options are sad.

How far gone do you have to be to believe Harry Potter is satanic, and a tool of witches..


A lot of funnies really really hate the Harry potter series. They think it promotes devil worship.
 
2013-08-01 08:35:20 AM
Fundies, not funnies. Stupid iPad autocorrect.
 
2013-08-01 08:36:39 AM
Deep inside the garden of Eden
Standing there with my hard on bleedin'
Theres a devil in my dick and some demons in my semen
Good God no that would be treason
Believe me Eve she gave good reason
Body looking too good not to be squeezin'
Creamy beaver hotter than a fever
I'm a givin' 'cause she's the reciever
I won't and I don't hang up until I please her
Makin' her feel like an over achiever
I take it away for a minute just to tease her
Then I give it back a little bit deeper
 
2013-08-01 08:36:56 AM
Help! Demons have possessed my pants!
 
2013-08-01 08:37:32 AM

MisterLoki: Margaret Thatcher?


Yeah, that kinda came outta nowhere, I thought.
 
2013-08-01 08:38:58 AM
The strange thing is that some gardnerian wiccans hate Harry potter as well and for similar reasons...they feel the HP novels mock witches and witchcraft.
 
2013-08-01 08:39:06 AM
 
2013-08-01 08:39:11 AM
Third time these girls have been greenlit this year.  Fark, have a seat over there.
 
2013-08-01 08:39:13 AM

Pangit: FTFA: "Satan can't just go into anybody that he wants to. He has to have a legal right."

I'm gonna need one of the Fark Esq'ers to weigh in on this here please.


IANAL, but back in the day I did hang out with people who occasionally did exorcisms (though I've only seen a couple in person,) "Satan having a legal right" basically means you're not acting fundamentalist enough. The idea is that demons can't possess someone who's truly SavedTM, and if you were really SavedTM and following Jesus you wouldn't be reading that Harry Potter book....

The semantics change slightly depending on the denomination, but the gist is that "sin" makes you vulnerable.

/ Demons aren't real, but exorcisms can sometimes produce changes in behavior because they're intense, frightening, and to the suggestible they "prove" that the exorcist's religion works
 
2013-08-01 08:40:43 AM
I'd offer each of them communion with my ectoplasm spasm.
 
2013-08-01 08:41:10 AM

Pangit: FTFA: "Satan can't just go into anybody that he wants to. He has to have a legal right."

I'm gonna need one of the Fark Esq'ers to weigh in on this here please.


Sounds to me like, though they avoid the British and the twinks, they are not opposed to watching two hunky guys drive around in their 67 Impala and kill demons on a weekly basis.

/Dean has a purty mouth
//At least that's what my wife says.
 
2013-08-01 08:41:42 AM

Martian_Astronomer: (though I've only seen a couple in person.) "Satan


How do I punctuation?
 
2013-08-01 08:42:21 AM
i1247.photobucket.com

I would rather have this woman keep Satan in me........
 
2013-08-01 08:43:02 AM
The last time I legally let Satan inside, he spent the whole weekend sitting on my couch and drinking my beer.
 
2013-08-01 08:43:59 AM
I'mmmmm gonna say these are three virgins.
 
2013-08-01 08:45:21 AM

Kaka: I'mmmmm gonna say these are three virgins.


Nah. I'll bet they're getting laid on a regular basis...they just feel really guilty about the multiple orgasms is all.
 
2013-08-01 08:45:22 AM

Kaka: I'mmmmm gonna say these are three virgins.


Technical virgins.
 
2013-08-01 08:46:06 AM
Forgive her, for she knows not what she does...

A cross upon her bedroom wall
From grace, she will fall
An image burning in her mind
And between her thighs
Ah...

A dying god-man full of pain
When will you come again?
Before him beg to serve or please
On your back or knees

No forgiveness for her sins
Prefers punishment
Would you suffer eternally
Or internally?
Ah...

For her lust, she'll burn in Hell
Her soul done medium well
All throug mass manual stimulation
Salvation

Corpus christi
(She needs) Corpus christi, corpus christi

Corpus christi
(She needs) Corpus christi, corpus christi

Body of Christ
(She needs) Body of Christ, body of Christ

She'd like to know God
Love God
Feel her God deep inside of her
Deep inside of her

She'd like to know God
Love God
Feel, feel, feel, her God
Deep inside of her
Deep inside of her

Inside of her, deep inside of her

Jesus Christ looks like me
Jesus Christ
Jesus Christ looks like me
Jesus Christ

Jesus Christ looks like me
Jesus Christ, yeah
Jesus Christ looks like me
Jesus Christ, ah
 
2013-08-01 08:46:06 AM

Pangit: FTFA: "Satan can't just go into anybody that he wants to. He has to have a legal right."

I'm gonna need one of the Fark Esq'ers to weigh in on this here please.


He's granted permission when you accept the iTunes terms and conditions, so it's a moot point for most people.
 
2013-08-01 08:46:48 AM

swaniefrmreddeer: Kaka: I'mmmmm gonna say these are three virgins.

Technical virgins.


Technical virginity is the best kind of virginity!
 
2013-08-01 08:47:18 AM
I have millions of little demons swimming around in my nutsack that I'd enjoy having exorcised by those little hotties.
 
2013-08-01 08:48:10 AM

Weaver95: The strange thing is that some gardnerian wiccans hate Harry potter as well and for similar reasons...they feel the HP novels mock witches and witchcraft.


But fortunately we know to ignore Wiccans, and their upgraded LARPing they call religion.

Now if we could get that way with Christians, then we'd all be better off.
 
2013-08-01 08:48:52 AM

Weaver95: swaniefrmreddeer: Kaka: I'mmmmm gonna say these are three virgins.

Technical virgins.

Technical virginity is the best kind of virginity!


upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-08-01 08:49:42 AM

Weaver95: swaniefrmreddeer: Kaka: I'mmmmm gonna say these are three virgins.

Technical virgins.

Technical virginity is the best kind of virginity!


Garfunkel and Oates "God's Loophole."

/nsfw
 
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