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(Guardian)   Dear public: Please try not to get your penis stuck in a toaster. This has been a friendly message from your local fire brigade   (theguardian.com) divider line 32
    More: PSA, toasters, eternal flame  
•       •       •

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32 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-08-01 09:37:07 AM  
You're not the boss of me!
 
2013-08-01 09:44:35 AM  
This is what happens when they only send you the Japanese instructions with your appliance.
 
2013-08-01 09:47:43 AM  
I am not sure where the toaster exactly ranks in my list of things in my house I would stick my dick into.   My list only goes to 150.

Wouldn't being stuck in a toaster be kind of a turn off? I would think that would make you limp enough that you could extricate yourself.
 
2013-08-01 09:53:37 AM  
This Is Just To Say

I have f*cked
the toaster
that was on
the counter

and which
you were probably
usingfor breakfast

Forgive me
it was fantastic
so slotted
and so hot


-with apologies to William Carlos Williams and his plums, which I had also previously besoiled with sweet sweet lovemaking.
 
2013-08-01 10:01:03 AM  

brap: This Is Just To Say

I have f*cked
the toaster
that was on
the counter

and which
you were probably
usingfor breakfast

Forgive me
it was fantastic
so slotted
and so hot


-with apologies to William Carlos Williams and his plums, which I had also previously besoiled with sweet sweet lovemaking.


That is beautiful.  Because of you I now want to fark a toaster.
 
2013-08-01 10:06:45 AM  
Where's that guy with the Brave Little Toaster R34? That was some farked up shiat. A tesseract of horror.
 
2013-08-01 10:08:39 AM  
If they don't want me to stick my dick in the toaster, they should quit making toasters that are so damn sexy.
 
2013-08-01 10:36:40 AM  
We talking toaster-toaster or toaster oven?
 
2013-08-01 10:59:21 AM  
I've been browning my penis all wrong!
 
2013-08-01 11:00:40 AM  

Diogenes: I've been browning my penis all wrong!


Trying to make it bigger? You've got cause and effect the wrong way round.
 
2013-08-01 11:01:56 AM  
dl.dropboxusercontent.com
Penis does NOT go THERE!
 
2013-08-01 11:01:56 AM  
I didn't intend to, but the blender had plans.
 
2013-08-01 11:02:01 AM  
Then you can just tell my customers "no glazed cronuts today!"
 
2013-08-01 11:03:14 AM  
Just want to say, if you get your penis stuck in the toaster... it is ok to use a knife to get it out.
 
2013-08-01 11:03:20 AM  
The toaster was asking for it!

www.ohgizmo.com


Mmmmm, sexay!
 
2013-08-01 11:04:06 AM  
Giggity?
 
2013-08-01 11:06:18 AM  
What, again?
 
2013-08-01 11:09:15 AM  
Warms up much quicker than my wife.
 
2013-08-01 11:10:13 AM  
I have a total man crush on Hamilton Beach.
 
2013-08-01 11:11:42 AM  
Don't stick your dick in crazy toaster.
 
2013-08-01 11:13:37 AM  

Random Anonymous Blackmail: Warms up much quicker than my wife.


And doesn't require foreplay.

Although I do feel like I'm playing 'beat the clock' to finish before it pops up.
 
2013-08-01 11:14:13 AM  

EvilEgg: I am not sure where the toaster exactly ranks in my list of things in my house I would stick my dick into.   My list only goes to 150.

Wouldn't being stuck in a toaster be kind of a turn off? I would think that would make you limp enough that you could extricate yourself.



I guess it depends upon whether you are a "show-er" or a "grow-er".

I would LOVE to analyze the guy who, while sitting around the house, thinks, "yeah I guess its about time I stick my wick into the toaster". What, the guy doesn't have hands? couch cushions? Saran wrap, a jar of grape jelly, and a paper towel tube? (ok, I've said too much).

/Who are you to judge me?
 
2013-08-01 11:17:03 AM  

megarian: Don't stick your dick in crazy toaster.


To be fair if you are sticking your dick in the toaster then crazy in defentaly involved.
 
2013-08-01 11:19:34 AM  
Diogenes

Random Anonymous Blackmail: Warms up much quicker than my wife.

And doesn't require foreplay.

Although I do feel like I'm playing 'beat the clock' to finish before it pops up.


Throw it on darkest for hardcore mode.
 
2013-08-01 11:19:42 AM  
Instructions unclear.
 
2013-08-01 11:20:40 AM  

cardex: megarian: Don't stick your dick in crazy toaster.

To be fair if you are sticking your dick in the toaster then crazy in defentaly involved.


HA! When you reply it removes my strike-through and just says "don't stick your dick in crazy toaster."

Something we can all agree on.
 
2013-08-01 11:21:42 AM  
On the bright side, from now on if your life ever seems to be going badly, you can just remind yourself that somewhere out there is someone whose life is so farked up that sticking their penis into a toaster seemed like a good idea.
 
2013-08-01 11:25:47 AM  
If sticking my dick in a toaster is wrong then I don't wanna be right!
 
2013-08-01 11:26:58 AM  
This is a direct result of Gay Marriage
 
2013-08-01 11:27:30 AM  

megarian: Don't stick your dick in crazy toaster.


Make me.
yakutsk-online.com
 
2013-08-01 11:35:42 AM  

Rand's lacy underwear: megarian: Don't stick your dick in crazy toaster.

Make me.


Alright. That...that works.
 
2013-08-01 12:03:50 PM  
Known to fark toasters.
 
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