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(Gawker)   Don't park like a jerk and this won't happen to you   (gawker.com) divider line 128
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10443 clicks; posted to Video » on 31 Jul 2013 at 4:57 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-07-31 07:12:16 PM  

salvador.hardin: A minor door ding can cost a lot to get repaired on an expensive car.


Solution: Think twice before getting an expensive car or live with the choice you made and take the risks.

The wealthy continue to think they don't have to follow the rules the rest of us do and are entitled to accommodations when they don't exist. Use a valet or hire a driver if your precious car is too expensive to fix.
 
Qel
2013-07-31 07:14:27 PM  
He's lucky they didn't key it....
 
2013-07-31 07:20:07 PM  
Keep a mechanical grease pencil in your glovebox instead of the stupid little business cards. They cards just get tossed on the ground and ignored. Grease pencil on the windshield does not damage the car. Is usually not seen until they sit in the car and look out. When they try to wipe it off it just smears.
www.westcoastpaddler.com
 
2013-07-31 07:25:10 PM  

roadkillontheweb: Keep a mechanical grease pencil in your glovebox instead of the stupid little business cards. They cards just get tossed on the ground and ignored. Grease pencil on the windshield does not damage the car. Is usually not seen until they sit in the car and look out. When they try to wipe it off it just smears.
[www.westcoastpaddler.com image 300x300]


Bonus points if you teach yourself to write backwards so they can read it when they get into the car.
 
2013-07-31 07:34:05 PM  

lohphat: Keys dude: Karmachamelion: A douche response isn't needed for every little thing that bugs you. And those guys' response was douchey.

What they did was a public service to others he'd have no problem inconveniencing elsewhere. They taught him a lesson which seemed to have sunk in by the next day: Don't be a self-centered prick and violate accepted communal behaviors developed to fairly share resources.


Does that mean I can't sleep on the train either?
 
2013-07-31 07:49:02 PM  

roadkillontheweb: Keep a mechanical grease pencil in your glovebox instead of the stupid little business cards. They cards just get tossed on the ground and ignored. Grease pencil on the windshield does not damage the car. Is usually not seen until they sit in the car and look out. When they try to wipe it off it just smears.
[www.westcoastpaddler.com image 300x300]


That thing would melt into a hot mess in a New York minute if I left that in my glove box.
 
2013-07-31 08:00:49 PM  

OgreMagi: When I drove a junker I'd go out of my way to park next to idiots who did that.  I now have a new car, so I don't dare do something like that.


Whenever I feel bad about still driving my trashy-looking 1998 Ford Escort I try to take a moment and find a douchebag like this to park next to.

Suddenly, I remember why I love my car.
 
2013-07-31 08:07:34 PM  
I once parked my freshly-painted-and-restored car as far as humanly possible from other cars. Alone is an sea of empty spots. Came back an hour later to find another car doorhandle to doorhandle with mine. Recognizing the other car as a co-worker who was being a smartass, I decided to play the "grease pencil on the side window" card. Lacking a grease pencil, I substitued my wifes lipstick for the job. Little did I know that lipstick has all kinds of ground up abrasive bits in it (makes it sparkle!).

Monday morning, my co-worker was less than pleased with the apparently permanent message i'd etched on his window.

Ooops.
 
2013-07-31 08:18:01 PM  
Keys dude: but I respect all of your opinions while still disagreeing.

and this is why you lose; not because you're clearly wrong (you are, as you failed to read a few words in TFA) but because you lack conviction.
 
2013-07-31 08:36:11 PM  
Ultra, then let me revise: I respect some, not all, of the opinions. And my conviction stands; arguing online means nothing. I stated my convictions in my Boobies and subsequent ones. Everyone knows where I stand. I just choose to not argue it anymore.
 
2013-07-31 08:39:09 PM  
WTH ? I did NOT write Boobies in my response to Ultra! I wrote something to the effect that I responded to something else. No idea where they came from.
 
2013-07-31 08:43:11 PM  
Keys dude: arguing online means nothing

It means everything.
 
2013-07-31 08:44:59 PM  

Keys dude: WTH ? I did NOT write Boobies in my response to Ultra! I wrote something to the effect that I responded to something else. No idea where they came from.


Unexpected boobies are frequently the best.

/sometimes they can be the worst, though...
//you got filterpwned
 
2013-07-31 08:50:27 PM  

Keys dude: WTH ? I did NOT write Boobies in my response to Ultra! I wrote something to the effect that I responded to something else. No idea where they came from.


You've been here 6 years and have no idea what happened?
 
2013-07-31 08:56:37 PM  

WelldeadLink: Had someone actually park behind me in a shopping mall lot once. But they left their car unlocked and it had a manual transmission. Put it in neutral, pushed it into the aisle... and I drove away.


Nice!!!!
 
2013-07-31 08:59:54 PM  

karmachameleon: Keys dude: Karmachamelion: A douche response isn't needed for every little thing that bugs you. And those guys' response was douchey.

So parking perfectly in your space is "douchey"?


Sure when you park like a douche, you defend them.
 
2013-07-31 09:04:30 PM  
So Washington DC knows no snow etiquette.

After the 'Snowpocalypse', it was time for me to clear out the cars.  Being someone from the Northeast, before a snow you park your cars bumper to bumper, then after it snows you make a path for one car and move it forward so you can shovel out what is left, then move your car back into the spot.      Naturally, standard DC driver decided that during step 'move the car to shovel the rest' was a good time to zip into the half-shoveled space and scamper off.   The speed at which they fled from their car said to me that they felt 'oh so clever' at getting away with not having to shovel a space.

Defeated, I consigned myself to digging out another spot for my car.  It was a lot of work, there was a lot of snow to move this time.   By the time I was finished, I had cleared a nice wide parking space for my vehicle.   Of course, there was a new, very large snowpile where the offending car had once been.   In my haste to clear a new spot, I had accidentally buried the other car.  Feeling bad, I quickly fetched a bucket of hot water, hoping to melt the snow off the car.  It didn't seem to be working too well, so I poured a few more buckets over it to see if that wouldn't help.

In the end, the bastard got their parking space.   They must have really liked it a lot, because the 5'x10' block of ice wasn't moved for several days.

(To be nice, I watched the vehicle for when they returned.  I had the truck I used to plow with in upstate NY parked around the corner in case there was an emergency and they needed to get out quickly.   But oh god it was sweet when she walked up to her ice-car in clubbing gear.)
 
2013-07-31 09:05:54 PM  

roadkillontheweb: Keep a mechanical grease pencil in your glovebox instead of the stupid little business cards. They cards just get tossed on the ground and ignored. Grease pencil on the windshield does not damage the car. Is usually not seen until they sit in the car and look out. When they try to wipe it off it just smears.
[www.westcoastpaddler.com image 300x300]


This is why I come to Fark. I learn so much.
 
2013-07-31 09:09:22 PM  

Keys dude: Ogre and the rest, you are all missing my point. It really has nothing to do with the parking per se ( I did say the guy did a bad parking job ). It's about overreacting in such a planned, plotted-out way to something quite minor.


How is it overreacting to perfectly park within the lines?   See, that's the best part about it as the guy didn't encroach or cross the white lines.
 
2013-07-31 09:13:39 PM  

Pelvic Splanchnic Ganglion: roadkillontheweb: Keep a mechanical grease pencil in your glovebox instead of the stupid little business cards. They cards just get tossed on the ground and ignored. Grease pencil on the windshield does not damage the car. Is usually not seen until they sit in the car and look out. When they try to wipe it off it just smears.
[www.westcoastpaddler.com image 300x300]

That thing would melt into a hot mess in a New York minute if I left that in my glove box.


They actually have a rather high melting point.  It's the same basic material as those paint sticks you can use to mark paths while hunting.  Left plenty of those in my glove box year round only to find them again still in the octagonal shape while other items had melted.
 
2013-07-31 09:19:40 PM  
People who back into a parking space are morons. It takes more time to back into a space than it does to back out into the travel lanes.
 
2013-07-31 09:29:04 PM  
jst3p: People who back into a parking space are morons. It takes more time to back into a space than it does to back out into the travel lanes.

sometimes it's more about geometry than speed. Also, what kind of day do you have where that extra second makes the difference?
 
2013-07-31 09:39:43 PM  

jst3p: People who back into a parking space are morons. It takes more time to back into a space than it does to back out into the travel lanes.


You've never driven a pickup truck before I'm guessing.  When the road or space is narrow, backing in is sometimes your only option, speed has little to do with it.   The back end of your car turns faster with less space because your steering wheels are on the front.
 
2013-07-31 09:40:15 PM  

Haplo127x: lohphat: Keys dude: Karmachamelion: A douche response isn't needed for every little thing that bugs you. And those guys' response was douchey.

What they did was a public service to others he'd have no problem inconveniencing elsewhere. They taught him a lesson which seemed to have sunk in by the next day: Don't be a self-centered prick and violate accepted communal behaviors developed to fairly share resources.

Does that mean I can't sleep on the train either?


Go right ahead, just keep to your designated half/third of the seat.
/laughed throughout the video
 
2013-07-31 10:06:02 PM  

Pelvic Splanchnic Ganglion: roadkillontheweb: Keep a mechanical grease pencil in your glovebox instead of the stupid little business cards. They cards just get tossed on the ground and ignored. Grease pencil on the windshield does not damage the car. Is usually not seen until they sit in the car and look out. When they try to wipe it off it just smears.
[www.westcoastpaddler.com image 300x300]

That thing would melt into a hot mess in a New York minute if I left that in my glove box.


Have carried one for years and never had one melt. Did it in SoCal and in Iowa never has been an issue. Put it in a ziplock bag if you are worried about that
 
2013-07-31 10:08:25 PM  

OgreMagi: When I drove a junker I'd go out of my way to park next to idiots who did that.  I now have a new car, so I don't dare do something like that.


I still do. I'm older, meaner, and have better insurance. Plus I have a law firm on retainer for my business anyway. I might as well risk using them.

These guys are amateurs. Had I done it, he'd have been stuck until he found me and asked politely or I left.
 
2013-07-31 10:08:45 PM  

FlashHarry: *richard dreyfuss hooper voice* I got that beat:

[fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net image 850x622]
snapped this pic a while back. taking up FOUR goddamned spaces. FOUR! for a farking mitsubishi???


Yes, this is how most of those stinkers do it.  With the jag, it looks like it could have been accidental if one didn't know he did it every day.
 
2013-07-31 10:15:41 PM  

Haplo127x: lohphat: Keys dude: Karmachamelion: A douche response isn't needed for every little thing that bugs you. And those guys' response was douchey.

What they did was a public service to others he'd have no problem inconveniencing elsewhere. They taught him a lesson which seemed to have sunk in by the next day: Don't be a self-centered prick and violate accepted communal behaviors developed to fairly share resources.

Does that mean I can't sleep on the train either?


Sleeping while not drooling on your seatmate is fine. putting your dirty shoes and feet on the seat opposite you is not.

Didn't your parents socialize you to acceptable and respectful public behavior?
 
2013-07-31 10:40:40 PM  
upload.wikimedia.orgus.cdn4.123rf.com
upload.wikimedia.org upload.wikimedia.org
data.whicdn.com upload.wikimedia.org :

imgs.xkcd.com
 
2013-07-31 11:32:23 PM  

jst3p: People who back into a parking space are morons. It takes more time to back into a space than it does to back out into the travel lanes.


You must suck at driving
 
2013-07-31 11:39:13 PM  

styckx: jst3p: People who back into a parking space are morons. It takes more time to back into a space than it does to back out into the travel lanes.

You must suck at driving


You must suck at parking.
 
2013-07-31 11:41:01 PM  

kim jong-un: So Washington DC knows no snow etiquette.

After the 'Snowpocalypse', it was time for me to clear out the cars.  Being someone from the Northeast, before a snow you park your cars bumper to bumper, then after it snows you make a path for one car and move it forward so you can shovel out what is left, then move your car back into the spot.      Naturally, standard DC driver decided that during step 'move the car to shovel the rest' was a good time to zip into the half-shoveled space and scamper off.   The speed at which they fled from their car said to me that they felt 'oh so clever' at getting away with not having to shovel a space.

Defeated, I consigned myself to digging out another spot for my car.  It was a lot of work, there was a lot of snow to move this time.   By the time I was finished, I had cleared a nice wide parking space for my vehicle.   Of course, there was a new, very large snowpile where the offending car had once been.   In my haste to clear a new spot, I had accidentally buried the other car.  Feeling bad, I quickly fetched a bucket of hot water, hoping to melt the snow off the car.  It didn't seem to be working too well, so I poured a few more buckets over it to see if that wouldn't help.

In the end, the bastard got their parking space.   They must have really liked it a lot, because the 5'x10' block of ice wasn't moved for several days.

(To be nice, I watched the vehicle for when they returned.  I had the truck I used to plow with in upstate NY parked around the corner in case there was an emergency and they needed to get out quickly.   But oh god it was sweet when she walked up to her ice-car in clubbing gear.)


Such a good Samaritan for helping that nice young lady after you realized your mistake
 
2013-07-31 11:42:09 PM  

jst3p: People who back into a parking space are morons. It takes more time to back into a space than it does to back out into the travel lanes.


Travel lanes?  It's a parking lot, not Route 66.

Sometime I back in (or pull through) because of how hot the day is going to be, so that the driver's seat and steering wheel aren't blasted by the sun for 8 hours.
 
2013-07-31 11:45:16 PM  

jst3p: People who back into a parking space are morons. It takes more time to back into a space than it does to back out into the travel lanes.


try your method with a cargo van, or anything larger than mid-sized sedan, and let me know how it works out for you

/have driven everything from a smart car to a 5-ton, and backing in to a parking space is my "go to"
 
2013-07-31 11:56:19 PM  
One of my asshole neighbors parked over the line next to my car, forcing me to climb over from the passenger side. If it was anywhere else but where I live, I would have let all the air out of his tires.
 
2013-08-01 12:11:25 AM  
I did something similar earlier this year, and documented it for fun. No video, I'm not that sophisticated

http://thisiswhyyoureadick.tumblr.com/post/40093933637/cockblock
 
2013-08-01 12:16:43 AM  
This is why I park in my garage.
 
2013-08-01 12:34:31 AM  
Lol! Jason Pope standard Tx
A-hole (don't mess with Texas!!)


Or winner of Troll edition of Playa Hater of the year award!
 
2013-08-01 12:48:17 AM  

FlashHarry: *richard dreyfuss hooper voice* I got that beat:

[fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net image 850x622]
snapped this pic a while back. taking up FOUR goddamned spaces. FOUR! for a farking mitsubishi???


It-su-bush-i....
 
2013-08-01 12:52:35 AM  
If this isn't fake, this is what it looks like to me.

Douche gets in early every day, and takes a choice spot right next to the building. He parks JUST slightly over so that every day, people avoid that space, but he isn't technically taking both spaces. And he backs in, because that is how the valet would do it for his sweet Jag.

Quite a puss move, and his reaction to the situation is even more puss. Spineless, soft douche. Who the fark couldn't get in from the passenger side on the first try?
 
2013-08-01 01:52:04 AM  
I've done this many times in the past, but never had the sense to film the reaction. Priceless! Bravo for justice!
 
2013-08-01 05:31:59 AM  

Pelvic Splanchnic Ganglion: This is why I park in my garage.


Ditto,  It's always best to park your own car in your own garage.  Or you can let your neighbor park his car in your garage for a fee.
 
2013-08-01 05:39:21 AM  

jst3p: People who back into a parking space are morons. It takes more time to back into a space than it does to back out into the travel lanes.


It depends on the venue.  There are tons of scenarios where people trickle in then leave all at once.  This happens at my kid's elementary school.  It's easier and safer to back the car into a space when arriving (low traffic) than it is to back out of the space when leaving (farking Armageddon).  It's definitely safer/better all around.  I'd say 3/4 of the parents do it.

Otherwise, like other's have mentioned, turning radius/diameter plays a role.  Some cars are surprisingly bad. Corvettes have a 40ft turning diameter.  I guess Image >>> Tug boat handling.  So the drivers are sorta not douche bags when they back into spaces.  On the other hand, some truck drivers fark up their already crappy turning radius with a custom suspension.  They feel entitled to a lifetime of privilege when swinging into traffic for left hand turns, right hand turns, going straight, and or parking.
 
2013-08-01 07:04:00 AM  
Back when I lived in an apartment one of my neighbors drove a Saab (you know what they're like) and would always park diagonally across 3 spots. sometimes I would park parallel to his with only a few inches between us. This went on for 3 years. Eventually I moved but he was still parking like a dick.
 
2013-08-01 08:27:33 AM  
Pentaxian:

Jaguar - For men who'd like hand-jobs from beautiful women they hardly know.

Volvo - They're boxy, but they're good.
 
2013-08-01 08:35:23 AM  

RaceBoatDriver: jst3p: People who back into a parking space are morons. It takes more time to back into a space than it does to back out into the travel lanes.

It depends on the venue.  There are tons of scenarios where people trickle in then leave all at once.  This happens at my kid's elementary school.  It's easier and safer to back the car into a space when arriving (low traffic) than it is to back out of the space when leaving (farking Armageddon).  It's definitely safer/better all around.  I'd say 3/4 of the parents do it.

Otherwise, like other's have mentioned, turning radius/diameter plays a role.  Some cars are surprisingly bad. Corvettes have a 40ft turning diameter.  I guess Image >>> Tug boat handling.  So the drivers are sorta not douche bags when they back into spaces.  On the other hand, some truck drivers fark up their already crappy turning radius with a custom suspension.  They feel entitled to a lifetime of privilege when swinging into traffic for left hand turns, right hand turns, going straight, and or parking.




Wide tires limit your turning radius. But they improve handling. Zipping into small parking spaces is definitely not their strong point.
 
2013-08-01 09:03:14 AM  

leftymcrighty: I did something similar earlier this year, and documented it for fun. No video, I'm not that sophisticated

http://thisiswhyyoureadick.tumblr.com/post/40093933637/cockblock


I tend not to get worked up about where lines are if there's snow on the ground.  Kind of hard to tell...
 
2013-08-01 09:07:12 AM  
www.lolriot.com
 
2013-08-01 10:28:16 AM  
Video is now private. Does anyone have an alternative link? Thanks!
 
2013-08-01 10:28:31 AM  

leftymcrighty: I did something similar earlier this year, and documented it for fun. No video, I'm not that sophisticated

http://thisiswhyyoureadick.tumblr.com/post/40093933637/cockblock


If he arrives early in the morning, and there's been a dusting or some blowing overnight, then he can't see the lines.  Which makes you the douchebag.
 
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