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(Mother Nature Network)   Eight tips for taking perfect pictures of your food. If you insist on being 'that' person   (mnn.com) divider line 115
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4346 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Jul 2013 at 3:04 PM (37 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



115 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-07-31 02:44:53 PM
9. Lastly, before hitting that shutter button, take the largest item on the table -- wine bottle, decorative lamp, that kind of thing -- take it firmly in the hand not holding the camera phone and swing the item as hard as you possibly can into your own crotch.
 
2013-07-31 03:02:38 PM
10. Then smash the phone so that you're not tempted to try it again
 
2013-07-31 03:03:05 PM
10. Do not take pictures of your entire meal at once. Rather, take a separate photo of each item on the plate, then post them as a slideshow.
 
2013-07-31 03:05:40 PM
1. eat it.
2. shart it out.
3. photo time.

/that guy...
 
2013-07-31 03:05:56 PM
DON'T BE THAT PERSON!
 
2013-07-31 03:06:59 PM

YoOjo: 1. eat it.
2. shart it out.
3. photo time.

/that guy...


Came for a photo shiat reference
 
2013-07-31 03:07:31 PM
Lean in really close - so close that you're almost off balance - so that a passing waiter or another other annoyed patron can knock you over on to the food.
 
2013-07-31 03:07:56 PM
This is a picture of the corn from last night.
 
2013-07-31 03:08:38 PM

YoOjo: 1. eat it.
2. shart it out.
3. photo time.

/that guy...


Find a glass coffee table... profit!
 
2013-07-31 03:08:40 PM
Where's "#9: Use Instagram" ?

I thought I had to use Instagram.
 
2013-07-31 03:08:56 PM

Mr. Coffee Nerves: 9. Lastly, before hitting that shutter button, take the largest item on the table -- wine bottle, decorative lamp, that kind of thing -- take it firmly in the hand not holding the camera phone and swing the item as hard as you possibly can into your own crotch.


I like the cut of your jib.
 
2013-07-31 03:09:12 PM
If you take the time to think the photo through, I do hope that you post it with "mmm" as your caption.  Not posting "mmm" would make the entire effort a waste.  "Delish" is a possible exception, however.
 
2013-07-31 03:09:49 PM
An 11 page slideshow about one of the most annoying things in the world?

Quality links there, Fark. Quality.
 
2013-07-31 03:09:57 PM
i only take pictures of my preserves, and mostly to let the family know what they can ask for
 
2013-07-31 03:10:19 PM
I've taken a picture of my meal before, but it was only to mock somebody who was really hungry and stuck at work.
 
2013-07-31 03:10:44 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-07-31 03:11:37 PM

Two Hearted: Where's "#9: Use Instagram" ?

I thought I had to use Instagram.


Sepia tone always makes food look better, and totally not yellowed and rotting.
 
2013-07-31 03:11:39 PM
FTA: "I've just started venturing in to food photography and it has been a very appetizing experience!"

Ah HA!! Not a professional photographer. Have you any idea the nasty things done to food prior to a shoot?

Also, I read that sentence and was tempted to say out loud, "That SO funny, I forgot to laugh. HAW HAW HAW!"

What an ultramaroon.
 
2013-07-31 03:11:45 PM
# 1. Don't
 
2013-07-31 03:12:26 PM
And here I was just trying to come up with a tactful way to tell someone that nobody really gives a shiat about (checks FB...) what your office looks like after the construction crew clipped a sprinkler line and got the carpet wet.

Sometimes it's not enough to just exclude someone's updates from your feed.
 
2013-07-31 03:13:25 PM
imageshack.us

FTFA: "Add dimension to your food photographs by showing what that first bite looks like, and the second and third. Your viewers will want to snag the fork right from the image!"

No, I do not. I would rather eat sheetrock and crushed glass than your nightmarish stack of rabbit droppings and things that make my pee smell weird.
 
2013-07-31 03:13:25 PM
/found in the GIS "taking pictures of someone taking pictures of someone taking pictures of food"
//yes, these seems to leave out a step but there you go
 
2013-07-31 03:13:38 PM
1) Rub it on your face
2) Stick your head in the oven
3) Wait
 
2013-07-31 03:13:43 PM

abhorrent1: # 1. Don't


# 2. See above.
 
2013-07-31 03:14:59 PM
dang! it didn't link.

anyway...it was a picture of people taking pictures of their food and said meanwhile on instagram
 
2013-07-31 03:17:11 PM
When someone's posted food on their Facebook wall, and after it's "liked" and commented upon by their encouraging aunts and friends, I think an appropriate response is "I think I'm going to get that abortion after all."
 
2013-07-31 03:17:50 PM

phenn: FTA: "I've just started venturing in to food photography and it has been a very appetizing experience!"

Ah HA!! Not a professional photographer. Have you any idea the nasty things done to food prior to a shoot?


Sticking my dick in the salad helps to create depth and a sense of scale.
 
2013-07-31 03:18:50 PM
img442.imageshack.us
 
2013-07-31 03:19:03 PM
#8   Use playful angles.

img7.imageshack.us
 
2013-07-31 03:20:17 PM

YoOjo: 1. eat it.
2. shart it out.
3. photo time.

/that guy...


Yep! Had a college roommate that could shiat on demand. Want a sculpture of a frog? Plop...there is your frog! Want the Virgin Mary rowing a canoe? Plop...there is the Virgin Mary rowing a canoe. Incredible talent.
 
2013-07-31 03:21:01 PM
img149.imageshack.us

y'all jelly
 
2013-07-31 03:21:29 PM
i423.photobucket.com

fsa.zedge.net
 
2013-07-31 03:21:33 PM

gweilo8888: [imageshack.us image 500x333]

FTFA: "Add dimension to your food photographs by showing what that first bite looks like, and the second and third. Your viewers will want to snag the fork right from the image!"

No, I do not. I would rather eat sheetrock and crushed glass than your nightmarish stack of rabbit droppings and things that make my pee smell weird.


Dude, that's Bonsai and Cat Litter with a Lemon Garnish.
It's lit adoringly well too.
 
2013-07-31 03:22:24 PM
In all seriousness, subby, I didn't know people did this until we hired this one girl ... Who insists on showing everyone what she made for dinner last night. I've never seen a single person so into sous vez and plating her dinner... For one. Depressing, really...
 
2013-07-31 03:22:38 PM
When I'm out of town on business and I visit a sushi restaurant, I always snap a pic and text it to the wife because she loves sushi and I love rubbing it in.  Same goes for Thai or Indian restaurants.  Suck it haters.
 
2013-07-31 03:23:44 PM

tlchwi02: i only take pictures of my preserves, and mostly to let the family know what they can ask for


What's the difference between preserves and jam?
 
2013-07-31 03:23:45 PM
Sometimes I don't mind it. I'm a terrible cook, so when someone on my Facebook posts a picture of their ultramegazenithsupergreenorganicfreeragecagefreeGMOfreecrueltyfree chia seeds in kale milk, I can look at my dinner and think "it could be worse."
 
2013-07-31 03:24:03 PM
blogs.villagevoice.com
 
2013-07-31 03:24:29 PM

Psycoholic_Slag: When I'm out of town on business and I visit a sushi restaurant, I always snap a pic and text it to the wife because she loves sushi and I love rubbing it in.  Same goes for Thai or Indian restaurants.  Suck it haters.


Hey, exceptions will always be made for taunting purposes.
 
2013-07-31 03:25:08 PM

Psycoholic_Slag: When I'm out of town on business and I visit a sushi restaurant, I always snap a pic and text it to the wife because she loves sushi and I love rubbing it in.  Same goes for Thai or Indian restaurants.  Suck it haters.


yeah, but do you post it to Facebook for everybody to see? Or just to her?

my friend likes smoking meat and once I grilled a perfect steak with a nice sear and pink inside and sent him a picture. but just to him. I didn't post that stuff.
 
2013-07-31 03:25:30 PM
I made a nice pork loin last night but as I was slicing it up I thought that it was just too ugly to take pictures of.

So I ate the farking thing instead, like a normal person. OMM NOM NOM.

I often read recipe pages for ideas and they are loaded with food pictures, I cant see the point usually.  If I have a question about something that needs an image to illustrate a concept, ok, sure..I get that.  But taking a picture of your Big Mac?  Fark off.
 
2013-07-31 03:26:37 PM
9: Duck. Because I'm going to throw something at you.
 
2013-07-31 03:26:54 PM

busy chillin': my friend likes smoking meat


Your mom, too
 
2013-07-31 03:27:01 PM
 
2013-07-31 03:27:54 PM
www.mreinfo.com
 
2013-07-31 03:28:22 PM
"Add dimension to your food photographs by showing what that first bite looks like, and the second and third. Your viewers will want to snag the fork right from the image!"

...and plunge it, repeatedly, into your eye sockets.
 
2013-07-31 03:29:05 PM
www.inuyaki.com
 
2013-07-31 03:29:40 PM

FloydA: What's the difference between preserves and jam?


i usually use it as more of a blanket term. preserves are just stored fruits or veggies. jam would be a specific style of preserves.
 
2013-07-31 03:30:36 PM

FloydA: tlchwi02: i only take pictures of my preserves, and mostly to let the family know what they can ask for

What's the difference between preserves and jam?


The amount of sugar used in creating it.  And how much the fruit is processed (jam may be pureed, preserves are usually large chunks)
 
2013-07-31 03:33:13 PM
Do you remember when we used to take pictures of our dinner, go to the drugstore, get them developed, wait for the pictures to come back, and then go to our friends' houses and show them the photos?

Me neither.
 
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