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(Film School Rejects)   Could you really dispose of a body with a woodchipper like in Fargo?   (filmschoolrejects.com) divider line 125
    More: Interesting, Luc Besson, woodchipper, Norman Bates, Coens, wood chips, Fox Sports Radio, Mr. White, Peter Stormare  
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6053 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 31 Jul 2013 at 12:27 PM (49 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-07-31 10:38:17 AM
yes
 
2013-07-31 10:47:09 AM
Aim the chute into a fire, then dispose the ashes in the lake, then bleach the entire wood chipper and toss that into another lake and then dig up the ground you did all that on up and....

There are way better ways of doing this.

I imagine.
 
2013-07-31 10:49:25 AM
Sure ya can. You just ask Stan Grosman. He'll tell ya.
 
2013-07-31 10:56:01 AM
I'm wondering how many bodies ended up in the steel smelters in Hamilton. Rumours abound.
 
2013-07-31 11:18:11 AM
Bah, just feed the corpse to pigs. In a day or two nothing left.
 
2013-07-31 11:24:03 AM

R.A.Danny: Aim the chute into a fire, then dispose the ashes in the lake, then bleach the entire wood chipper and toss that into another lake and then dig up the ground you did all that on up and....

There are way better ways of doing this.

I imagine.


Yes, there are.  Use pigs/boars.   They will eat everything.  The *only* thing you need to watch out for are teeth, as the pigs can't digest them.   So they poop them out.
 
2013-07-31 11:30:27 AM
Or you could use a blunt-force instrument (I'd use a sack full of coins).   It's best to try to keep the victim from being identified.  So if you can keep them from being discovered for a while....you've at least bought some time.   I remember we (the Coroner's office) had a cold-case where a lady was found wrapped in carpet that had been tossed in the river.   She was  so badly decomposed that even the forensic anthropologist couldn't help ID her.   Couldn't get decent fingerprints from her nor were her teeth found to match anyone local that had gone missing.   So she's remained unidentified and someone had gotten away with murder.
 
2013-07-31 11:37:43 AM

raerae1980: (the Coroner's office)


Do you still work there? Seriously fascinating.
 
2013-07-31 11:50:11 AM
Do you even bacon?

Wanna kill a man? Learn to cook a good burger with lots of trans fat. He'll pay you to kill him and his widow will thank you for your kindness.
 
2013-07-31 11:50:16 AM

R.A.Danny: raerae1980: (the Coroner's office)

Do you still work there? Seriously fascinating.


No, unfortunately I do not.  I was told my degree, Anthropology, is not an accepted degree to have to work there.   I did an internship through them, hence why I had such cool experiences.
It's my dream job, seriously.
 
2013-07-31 11:56:42 AM

oldfarthenry: I'm wondering how many bodies ended up in the steel smelters in Hamilton. Rumours abound.


I read "Vanished: Cold-Blooded Murder in Steeltown" recently.  That's what that guy (supposedly) did, (killed himself before trial).
 
2013-07-31 12:33:43 PM

raerae1980: Yes, there are. Use pigs/boars. They will eat everything. The *only* thing you need to watch out for are teeth, as the pigs can't digest them. So they poop them out.


Do you know the definition of nemesis?

oldfarthenry: I'm wondering how many bodies ended up in the steel smelters in Hamilton. Rumours abound.


One of the older methods of body disposal was to bury them in open graves destined for burials the following day. Once the vault is laid into place, not a single soul will ever know there's two bodies in that grave.
 
2013-07-31 12:39:05 PM

raerae1980: R.A.Danny: Aim the chute into a fire, then dispose the ashes in the lake, then bleach the entire wood chipper and toss that into another lake and then dig up the ground you did all that on up and....

There are way better ways of doing this.

I imagine.

Yes, there are.  Use pigs/boars.   They will eat everything.  The *only* thing you need to watch out for are teeth, as the pigs can't digest them.   So they poop them out.


follow the lead of that Whitey Bulger cohort - remove teeth, then feed pigs.
 
2013-07-31 12:39:36 PM
Brick Top: You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.

Sol: Would someone mind telling me, who are you?

Brick Top: And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shiat, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".

 i.imgur.com
 
2013-07-31 12:40:21 PM

doglover: Do you even bacon?

Wanna kill a man? Learn to cook a good burger with lots of trans fat. He'll pay you to kill him and his widow will thank you for your kindness.


IF you want to kill a famous person or political figure, get them a personal doctor to treat their every ache and pain.
 
2013-07-31 12:40:44 PM

R.A.Danny: Aim the chute into a fire, then dispose the ashes in the lake, then bleach the entire wood chipper and toss that into another lake and then dig up the ground you did all that on up and....

There are way better ways of doing this.

I imagine.


Richard Craft tried that  but when he returned the chipper the became suspicious because it was so clean.  I run some branches through to make it look normally used.
 
2013-07-31 12:42:22 PM
The trick is to get a running start.thisisinfamous.com
 
2013-07-31 12:42:33 PM
You can but then you have a big machine with blood and bone everywhere. Fine if you shanked a hobo, not so good at eliminating the corpse of the Governor's call girl daughter.
 
2013-07-31 12:44:13 PM
The sea. The sea hides all, its cold bosom erasing memories like Lethe.
 
2013-07-31 12:45:29 PM
Sure. I've done it. I've also decapitated a man with a single blow from a broadsword.
 
2013-07-31 12:45:58 PM
What I've always found really disturbing is that it isn't necessary to go to great lengths to dispose of a body, just bury them somewhere out of the way. A girl went missing here a couple of years ago and after a week they started dragging all of the local ponds. They didn't find the girl but they did find two other totally unrelated corpses, neither of which have been identified.
 
2013-07-31 12:51:30 PM

Nuclear Monk: The trick is to get a running start.[thisisinfamous.com image 850x565]


I friggin loved that movie.
 
2013-07-31 12:53:27 PM

cretinbob: yes


Indeed. Pro-tip: Buy a Tyvek suit, and mulch the area after.

/I've said too much.
 
2013-07-31 12:54:08 PM

raerae1980: R.A.Danny: Aim the chute into a fire, then dispose the ashes in the lake, then bleach the entire wood chipper and toss that into another lake and then dig up the ground you did all that on up and....

There are way better ways of doing this.

I imagine.

Yes, there are.  Use pigs/boars.   They will eat everything.  The *only* thing you need to watch out for are teeth, as the pigs can't digest them.   So they poop them out.


They can't digest teeth but they can digest the rest of the bones?
 
2013-07-31 12:55:41 PM

raerae1980: R.A.Danny: raerae1980: (the Coroner's office)

Do you still work there? Seriously fascinating.

No, unfortunately I do not.  I was told my degree, Anthropology, is not an accepted degree to have to work there.   I did an internship through them, hence why I had such cool experiences.
It's my dream job, seriously.


I took a Forensic Anthropology class last year, our instructor being a forensic scientist, and she told us that you need to have a BA or BS in a hard science to be considered (I think she had hers in Biology along with a degree in English). She had a masters in anthropology though.
 
2013-07-31 12:55:42 PM
One of cousins was pulled into a commercial woodchipper, at a job site, while working alone. A couple of factors most likely saved his life; he's 6'4" and very well built, and joints are weak. He lost his entire right arm, but was able to pull himself out. He wears the biggest smile anyone has ever seen. Life is good when you're alive. He would agree chippers eat humans fast, without much of a struggle.
 
2013-07-31 12:55:43 PM

Could you really dispose of a body with a woodchipper like in Fargo?


Of course.

What bothered me about that scene was Peter Stormare's character needing to apply a lot of force to get the chipper to take Steve Buscemi's character's leg. From what I've read, chippers of that size will grab arms, legs, etc and pull them in very quickly and with no additional effort. Every year we seem to have a few stories about people dying that way.
 
2013-07-31 12:55:55 PM

Fano: The sea. The sea hides all, its cold bosom erasing memories like Lethe.


The sea is also so much deeper than the grave.

/I'm a frickin' Chatty Cathy today.
 
2013-07-31 12:58:54 PM
Well, missiv, that would have been a darn fine simulpost.
 
2013-07-31 01:01:06 PM
The Sopranos had it down pretty tight...though, occasionally, they'd have to move a body years later, a la Goodfellas.

Head and hands get buried in one location...body is wrapped up and disposed of in water at another.

Or just Dexter them...find a current that takes shiat out to sea...dump body there.

Lakes and rivers cough up bodies...I seriously doubt the deep blue sea does.
 
2013-07-31 01:01:40 PM
Heh, I was just at the county fair discussing feeding pigs with my stepdaughter's boyfriend.  He was very polite afterwards.  Especially since his family are pig farmers so he understands perfectly.
 
2013-07-31 01:02:21 PM
Body disposal really depends on the nature of the murder. If it's a random encounter, just dig the bullets out and leave the corpse in a ditch outside of town in the middle of the night. Without witnesses, there's nothing to make you a suspect in the first place.

If you are acquainted with the victim, that's a whole other story. You need to plan both the murder and the disposal in advance. Borax, concrete, and rivers are your friends.
 
2013-07-31 01:04:33 PM

missiv: One of cousins was pulled into a commercial woodchipper, at a job site, while working alone. A couple of factors most likely saved his life; he's 6'4" and very well built, and joints are weak. He lost his entire right arm, but was able to pull himself out. He wears the biggest smile anyone has ever seen. Life is good when you're alive. He would agree chippers eat humans fast, without much of a struggle.


One of my neighbors out here in farmland was BushHogging (one of those nine-foot rotary mowers you pull behind a tractor) a pasture a few years back when the "Jesus nut" that holds the front of the seat either broke or came loose, tipping him backward into the mower. They didn't find much -- figured the birds had gotten all the pieces.

Nowadays tractor seats are on a "sleeve" mount so they can't tip. But I did put a Grade-8 bolt with a Ny-lock nut on every tractor we owned until then.
 
2013-07-31 01:09:11 PM
If space flight ever becomes common, I expect lots of murder victims to be launched into stars or gas giants.... or heck, just the middle of empty space.
 
2013-07-31 01:09:30 PM
Did anyone ever think to feed a body to pigs before the movie Snatch???
 
2013-07-31 01:10:17 PM
 
2013-07-31 01:11:12 PM
there was a case of this in Connecticut back in the 80s. The guy, a doctor, was conducted on a fingernail. If I recall. I would say is it possible to getting up a body, yes. Is it smart with no follow-up or additional steps, no.
 
2013-07-31 01:14:00 PM
Screw woodchippers!   One of the great things about living in Florida is that we have gators ... and people who keep their mouths shut.
 
2013-07-31 01:15:06 PM

Tat'dGreaser: Did anyone ever think to feed a body to pigs before the movie Snatch???


If you mean in fiction, it happened in the novel "Hannibal" which I think predates the Guy Ritchie movie.
 
2013-07-31 01:19:22 PM
So, is the question "Can you put a body in a wood chipper like in Fargo?"

why is that even a question?  Wood chippers are designed to chop up big pieces of wood.  That's what it does.  Of course it can handle a body.
 
2013-07-31 01:20:55 PM

To The Escape Zeppelin!: What I've always found really disturbing is that it isn't necessary to go to great lengths to dispose of a body, just bury them somewhere out of the way. A girl went missing here a couple of years ago and after a week they started dragging all of the local ponds. They didn't find the girl but they did find two other totally unrelated corpses, neither of which have been identified.


however, heed the wise words of norm mcdonald.  as we all know, bodies are always found in shallow graves.  never once has the media reported that a body was found in a deep grave.  thus, use a deep grave. problem solved.
 
2013-07-31 01:22:23 PM
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-07-31 01:29:40 PM

AeAe: So, is the question "Can you put a body in a wood chipper like in Fargo?"

why is that even a question?  Wood chippers are designed to chop up big pieces of wood.  That's what it does.  Of course it can handle a body.


I just read the article and I'm pretty sure the question at the top is "Could you really dispose of a body with a woodchipper like 'Fargo'"?

The answer is, yes, if done properly.
 
2013-07-31 01:34:38 PM
popculturehasaids.files.wordpress.com
"Fark the wood chipper you cock suckers.  Send the body to Mr. Wu's."
 
2013-07-31 01:38:11 PM

Spanky McStupid: Screw woodchippers!   One of the great things about living in Florida is that we have gators ... and people who keep their mouths shut.


You can shore get lost in Louisiana bayou...
 
2013-07-31 01:39:20 PM
I'm too lazy to google but didn't Carl Hiassen have that in one of his books 1st?
 
2013-07-31 01:40:47 PM

Fano: Spanky McStupid: Screw woodchippers!   One of the great things about living in Florida is that we have gators ... and people who keep their mouths shut.

You can shore get lost in Louisiana bayou...


Hit 'em in the head with a stump . . .
 
2013-07-31 01:41:00 PM
Came for Tucker and Dale... leaving satisfied.
 
2013-07-31 01:46:34 PM
The real question is: Do you really need an in depth study about whether or not you could chop up a body in a woodchipper?

Summary for the tl;dr crowd:

Of course you can, it's a freakin' wood chipper, it chops shiat up. If you couldn't get chopped up by one, there wouldn't be safety interlocks and warnings all over the place.

There, can I get a writing job with these guys now? My pieces would be short, but they'd answer the actual question.
 
2013-07-31 01:48:10 PM

Tat'dGreaser: Did anyone ever think to feed a body to pigs before the movie Snatch???


John Ross: Unintended Consequences....they fed the bodies of ATF agents to the hogs.

Pre-dates Hannibal too.


/Henry Bowman for president
 
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