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(Quartz)   Take a bow Americans, your laziness is pushing movie titles to the front of the alphabet   (qz.com) divider line 82
    More: Fail, Americans, Michael Dell, Sharknado, lazinesses, Chinese people, The Asylum, independent studios  
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8066 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 31 Jul 2013 at 11:20 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-07-31 08:59:27 AM  
"It's not something we're doing. It's a choice the consumer is making," he reasons. "Americans are lazy people. They can't be bothered to go past 'L.'"


That is just sad.
 
2013-07-31 09:17:34 AM  
"We call it alpha-stacking," says Paul Bales of the Asylum

Our laziness isn't pushing movie titles to the front, the Asylum's need to make money off mockbusters is pushing them to make movie titles at the front while confusing audiences. He even admits exactly that: I'm hearing that there is push-back from the cable companies. I suspect that the push-back is coming from the major studios. Their titles come later in the alphabet. They're not as shameless as we are."

Let's face it, the back half of the alphabet sees far less use (besides 'S') than the front half.
 
2013-07-31 09:48:54 AM  
I can't take a bow, I'm too fat
 
2013-07-31 10:53:02 AM  
Chrissakes who browses movies alphabetically? I'm all about the tomatometer, it's all I need.
 
2013-07-31 11:14:05 AM  
This is why I'm making a new superhero movie called "AAA Aardvark Assassins" - about Aardvark ninjas who hold down day jobs as AAA insurance salesmen.
 
2013-07-31 11:27:40 AM  
2.bp.blogspot.com

Blockbuster!
 
2013-07-31 11:28:02 AM  
This is why Blockbuster went out of business. They didn't install moving walkways like airports have.
 
2013-07-31 11:30:27 AM  
So no ZZ Top Zombies movie anytime soon?
 
2013-07-31 11:31:01 AM  

scottydoesntknow: Our laziness isn't pushing movie titles to the front, the Asylum's need to make money off mockbusters is pushing them to make movie titles at the front while confusing audiences.


"It's not MY fault I gave them money! I'm a poor victimized consumer! I'm CONFUUUUUUSED! It's the eeeeeeeeevil corporation's fault!"
 
2013-07-31 11:33:28 AM  
Is it MY laziness, or laziness on the part of content providers who can think of no better browsing mechanism than "lump everything in one huge pile sorted alphabetically"?

At least Netflix provides a fairly decent browsing mechanism.
 
2013-07-31 11:33:57 AM  
Wonder how much of the success of this game was due to the fact that it always appeared first in the alphabetical list of games in the Steam library:

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-07-31 11:34:32 AM  
They really will just consume anything you push in front of them.
And pay money for it, too.

Pignation.
 
2013-07-31 11:40:38 AM  
I wholeheartedly disagree with what I think tfa says.
 
2013-07-31 11:40:56 AM  

GameSprocket: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 200x200]

Blockbuster!


Presumably that would do much better as a title according to this than "Wasting Away"
 
2013-07-31 11:49:25 AM  
I hope everyone at The Asylum gets dick cancer. Even the women.
 
2013-07-31 11:51:22 AM  
Maybe lazy film producers use titles from the beginning of the alphabet so viewers become discouraged when looking through listings.
 
2013-07-31 11:54:32 AM  
This bit of insight brought to you by the assholes that gave us Sharknado.
 
2013-07-31 11:57:06 AM  
You know, that seemed to be a lot of conjecture with no real data to back it up. The one graph they had about Xfinity's video collection is just a random snapshot of data. They don't compare it to the frequency with which each title is watched, nor do they track it against previous video collections. The only source they have for quotes is the Asylum guy, and, as a low-tier distributor, his opinions/experiences are skewed and anecdotal.

But this fits in the "stupid consumer" narrative that Fark loves, so whatever.
 
2013-07-31 11:59:21 AM  
That Asylum outfit in general is fascinating. I mean the entire premise of the company is to produce movies that will trick people into thinking they are purchasing/watching a separate, better quality (presumably) movie. Can you even imagine how this pitch went?

"So we're going to make this movie Transmorphers, and the poster will look as close to Transformers as possible without getting us sued. People will buy it."
"But won't they be expecting Transformers?"
"Probably!"
"Won't they be pissed?"
"Nah, their blood sugar from supper will be peaking by then, and half of them will probably just spend the whole movie playing Angry Birds anyway."
 
2013-07-31 12:00:28 PM  
That's because these days everything has AMERICA in the title, like American Warship, American Dad, American Gangster.
 
2013-07-31 12:00:32 PM  

B.L.Z. Bub: scottydoesntknow: Our laziness isn't pushing movie titles to the front, the Asylum's need to make money off mockbusters is pushing them to make movie titles at the front while confusing audiences.

"It's not MY fault I gave them money! I'm a poor victimized consumer! I'm CONFUUUUUUSED! It's the eeeeeeeeevil corporation's fault!"


I don't get what point you're trying to make. The Asylum's entire business model is built on confusing customers.

/Have never, and will never, give a cent to the Asylum
 
2013-07-31 12:00:45 PM  

IrateShadow: This bit of insight brought to you by the assholes that gave us Sharknado.


No, but you can probably expect the mockbuster "Sharklone" appearing on Netflix very soon.
 
2013-07-31 12:06:03 PM  

jayhawk88: IrateShadow: This bit of insight brought to you by the assholes that gave us Sharknado.

No, but you can probably expect the mockbuster "Sharklone" appearing on Netflix very soon.



The asylum are making a film about Wonga.com and other pay day lenders?
 
2013-07-31 12:06:03 PM  
This is not exclusive to movies, so I am not sure what the point is. Lots of companies out there called AAA AARDVARK (plumbing/heating/accounting/escorts).
 
2013-07-31 12:10:43 PM  
The only thing lazy is this farking article.
Basically, they list C grade movies. It's like a plumber in the yellow pages calling himself AAA Plumbing so he can be ahead of AA Plumbing.
Most A list movie won't have to worry about "alpha stacking", but then, I'll go ask Zombieland if they suffered from this made up catch phrase.
 
2013-07-31 12:15:00 PM  
How does that graph compare with the Scrabble distribution?
 
2013-07-31 12:18:23 PM  

scottydoesntknow: B.L.Z. Bub: scottydoesntknow: Our laziness isn't pushing movie titles to the front, the Asylum's need to make money off mockbusters is pushing them to make movie titles at the front while confusing audiences.

"It's not MY fault I gave them money! I'm a poor victimized consumer! I'm CONFUUUUUUSED! It's the eeeeeeeeevil corporation's fault!"

I don't get what point you're trying to make. The Asylum's entire business model is built on confusing customers.

/Have never, and will never, give a cent to the Asylum


To clarify, just for you: imagine one of these "confused" customers saying what I quoted above. Are you really going to say to that person, "Yeah, it's not your fault you couldn't be bothered to do a cursory Google search to make sure the movie you're about to watch is actually what you think it is. It's the fault of those evil rich guys and their greed, they screwed with your brain!"?
 
2013-07-31 12:19:09 PM  
Looks like my script for "A1A Entertainment" is going to be a hit by default.
 
2013-07-31 12:19:37 PM  
Well that or, you know, more common words start with A, B, C than X,Y,Z.

/must be the lazy thing...
 
2013-07-31 12:19:41 PM  
Can't wait for AAA: THE MOTION PICTURE.
 
2013-07-31 12:23:07 PM  

B.L.Z. Bub: scottydoesntknow: B.L.Z. Bub: scottydoesntknow: Our laziness isn't pushing movie titles to the front, the Asylum's need to make money off mockbusters is pushing them to make movie titles at the front while confusing audiences.

"It's not MY fault I gave them money! I'm a poor victimized consumer! I'm CONFUUUUUUSED! It's the eeeeeeeeevil corporation's fault!"

I don't get what point you're trying to make. The Asylum's entire business model is built on confusing customers.

/Have never, and will never, give a cent to the Asylum

To clarify, just for you: imagine one of these "confused" customers saying what I quoted above. Are you really going to say to that person, "Yeah, it's not your fault you couldn't be bothered to do a cursory Google search to make sure the movie you're about to watch is actually what you think it is. It's the fault of those evil rich guys and their greed, they screwed with your brain!"?


I would blame them for not doing a little research. I never said I would blame the company who's entire business model is ripping off movies and creating a very similar title. At the end of the day, it's the consumer's fault for buying it. Doesn't change the fact that the Asylum is a terrible company.
 
2013-07-31 12:23:16 PM  
Is it really laziness to find something that sounds good(or at least entertaining) to watch before getting to the end of the alphabet?
 
2013-07-31 12:23:36 PM  
The trick that's pushing movie titles to the front of the alphabet

Shiat, I can see it now... "Make your home movie a Blockbuster using this One Weird Trick. What the movie studios don't want you to know."
 
2013-07-31 12:28:08 PM  
"It's not something we're doing. It's a choice the consumer is making," he reasons. "Americans are lazy people. They can't be bothered to go past 'L.'"

U-S-A! U-S...A-MER-I-CA!  A-MER-I-CA!
 
2013-07-31 12:28:36 PM  

naughtyrev: "It's not something we're doing. It's a choice the consumer is making," he reasons. "Americans are lazy people. They can't be bothered to go past 'L.'"


That is just sad.


It's not that I'm "lazy". per se, but when I get on my DirecTv VOD, it takes awhile to load up the initial screen because it wants to download all of this art for each movie, then I have to choose what I want to look at, 'Everything', 'Movies', 'TV Shows', etc. Then I have to wait for the loading again. Next I have to choose a genre, or I can just browse. The genre screen takes time to load as well, and then I scroll through about 20 titles on a page, and scroll, and load and scroll and load, and scroll and load...

By the Time I've actually gotten to the "L's", It's been a good 5-10 minutes. The way they load up shiat with all the bells and whistles, it farking takes forever, it's not laziness, it's frustration. Hell, I'll even turn the TV off and go outside and do yard work rather than scroll, scroll, scroll, wait, wait, wait... Video On Demand is awesome, especially if the weather doesn't cooperate, or the DVR brainfarts and I miss an episode. As long as it's on a cable network, I'm almost guaranteed to have a VOD episode immediately available. It's just no the most streamlined process.
 
2013-07-31 12:33:01 PM  
Did the article start directing to another article?
The one I get when I click is about some investor.
 
2013-07-31 12:36:12 PM  
Are movie producers making more movies starting with the letter A because lazy consumers tend to choose from the beginning of the alphabet?

Or do consumers choose them because movie producers make so many movies that start with the letter A that most of their choices are jammed into the beginning of the alphabet?
 
2013-07-31 12:36:39 PM  
A side from this, movies used to have interesting titles.  Now they're just generic one word titles that you probably won't remember down the road without hints to the plot.

Taken
Abducted
Fallen
Unstoppable
Knowing
Obsessed
Australia

Even good movies are using boring titles like "Hugo" and "Casino"
Today Raging Bull would be "Boxer"
"Gone with the Wind" would be "Georgia"
Citizen Kane would be "Newspaper"

Even bigger "franchise" pictures are doing it "Jack Ryan, John Carter, Jack Reacher" etc.

Boring and lazy!!!
 
2013-07-31 12:38:43 PM  
I should have submitted this with the headline:

"Americans, take a bow...'
 
2013-07-31 12:42:57 PM  
WhEN I sTaRteD sEEing PeOPLe TyPE lIKe tHiS I KnEw wE WeRe AlL kInDs oF laZy.
 
2013-07-31 12:45:25 PM  

moel: jayhawk88: IrateShadow: This bit of insight brought to you by the assholes that gave us Sharknado.

No, but you can probably expect the mockbuster "Sharklone" appearing on Netflix very soon.


The asylum are making a film about Wonga.com and other pay day lenders?


Willy Wonga and the Chocolate Foreclosure?
 
2013-07-31 12:45:25 PM  
AAA, Dial It For Ahhh!, Murder
 
2013-07-31 12:46:12 PM  

buntz: A side from this, movies used to have interesting titles.  Now they're just generic one word titles that you probably won't remember down the road without hints to the plot.

Taken
Abducted
Fallen
Unstoppable
Knowing
Obsessed
Australia

Even good movies are using boring titles like "Hugo" and "Casino"
Today Raging Bull would be "Boxer"
"Gone with the Wind" would be "Georgia"
Citizen Kane would be "Newspaper"

Even bigger "franchise" pictures are doing it "Jack Ryan, John Carter, Jack Reacher" etc.

Boring and lazy!!!


Coming soon: Ass.
 
2013-07-31 12:46:56 PM  
President and CEO of AAAA Painting approves.
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-07-31 12:47:40 PM  

buntz: A side from this, movies used to have interesting titles.  Now they're just generic one word titles that you probably won't remember down the road without hints to the plot.

Taken
Abducted
Fallen
Unstoppable
Knowing
Obsessed
Australia

Even good movies are using boring titles like "Hugo" and "Casino"
Today Raging Bull would be "Boxer"
"Gone with the Wind" would be "Georgia"
Citizen Kane would be "Newspaper"


Casablanca, Brazil, Vertigo, Babe, Psycho, Fargo, Amadeus, Goodfellas, Unforgiven, Rocky, Scarface, Platoon, and others beg to differ.
 
2013-07-31 12:51:17 PM  
Well, lucky for me that I've never chosen movies that way.  In fact, I never watch a movie unless I already have something in mind, so this wouldn't work on me in the first place.
 
2013-07-31 12:51:22 PM  

GameSprocket: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 200x200]

Blockbuster!


That was a fun movie!
Don't be hatin'
 
2013-07-31 12:51:32 PM  
This is why they are renaming movies like "World War Z" and "Warm Bodies". The new titles are aaa_World War Z and aaa_Warm Bodies...

Really though, this only matters for the shiat movies anyway, the straight to video crap. Everything else rides on its name and its media push anyway.
 
2013-07-31 12:54:05 PM  

Mikey1969: naughtyrev: "It's not something we're doing. It's a choice the consumer is making," he reasons. "Americans are lazy people. They can't be bothered to go past 'L.'"


That is just sad.

It's not that I'm "lazy". per se, but when I get on my DirecTv VOD, it takes awhile to load up the initial screen because it wants to download all of this art for each movie, then I have to choose what I want to look at, 'Everything', 'Movies', 'TV Shows', etc. Then I have to wait for the loading again. Next I have to choose a genre, or I can just browse. The genre screen takes time to load as well, and then I scroll through about 20 titles on a page, and scroll, and load and scroll and load, and scroll and load...

By the Time I've actually gotten to the "L's", It's been a good 5-10 minutes. The way they load up shiat with all the bells and whistles, it farking takes forever, it's not laziness, it's frustration. Hell, I'll even turn the TV off and go outside and do yard work rather than scroll, scroll, scroll, wait, wait, wait... Video On Demand is awesome, especially if the weather doesn't cooperate, or the DVR brainfarts and I miss an episode. As long as it's on a cable network, I'm almost guaranteed to have a VOD episode immediately available. It's just no the most streamlined process.


*DIng DIng Ding*  Exactly.  VOD menus on every system I've seen are the slowest, laggiest, most mind crippling pieces of user interface I've seen.  Even worse is the Verizon FiOS one triggers a resolution change when connected to my cheap LCD TV.
 
ecl
2013-07-31 12:56:26 PM  
I'll take movie titties for 500 Alex.
 
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