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(Topless Robot)   Here are eight reasons why Mulder and Scully were terrible FBI agents. Agent Doggett, of course, was one of the finest agents you'll ever see   (toplessrobot.com) divider line 46
    More: Interesting, Fox Mulder, Agent Doggett, Dana Scully, Richard Gere, porn addiction, Bermuda Triangle, special agents  
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5022 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 31 Jul 2013 at 10:45 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-07-31 09:05:01 AM  
9. They're fictional characters
 
2013-07-31 09:17:12 AM  
Yeah, they should have followed those guidelines and made it a completely uninteresting show.

Next you're going to tell me 007's gadgets are implausible.
 
2013-07-31 10:39:31 AM  

Peter von Nostrand: 9. They're fictional characters

 
2013-07-31 10:43:41 AM  
"The X-Files' Fox Mulder and Dana Scully weren't the sort of agents you'd really recommend for career advancement."

Wasn't that kind of the point? They spent the whole show in the basement office being managements punching bags. The X-Files were a dead end.

Scully was the kind of agent you recommend for career advancement, but had the unfortunate luck to have that advancement be made contingent upon her discrediting Mulder enough that the bureau could fire him. So, when she realized his work was more important than career advancement, she stopped being that kind of person.
 
2013-07-31 10:51:14 AM  

serial_crusher: "The X-Files' Fox Mulder and Dana Scully weren't the sort of agents you'd really recommend for career advancement."

Wasn't that kind of the point? They spent the whole show in the basement office being managements punching bags. The X-Files were a dead end.

Scully was the kind of agent you recommend for career advancement, but had the unfortunate luck to have that advancement be made contingent upon her discrediting Mulder enough that the bureau could fire him. So, when she realized his work was more important than career advancement, she stopped being that kind of person.


xtremewalls.com

I'd give her an advancement, if ya know what I mean.

/And I think you do
 
2013-07-31 10:55:05 AM  
So that's why I liked Doggett.
 
2013-07-31 11:00:39 AM  

serial_crusher: Scully was the kind of agent you recommend for career advancement, but had the unfortunate luck to have that advancement be made contingent upon her discrediting Mulder enough that the bureau could fire him. So, when she realized his work was more important than career advancement, she stopped being that kind of person.


More or less this. IN fact it was even setup in the pilot episode if I remember right. She was complaining about the assignment and was promised that once she did her duty and provided reason the program would be shut down and she'd move on to bigger and better things.
 
2013-07-31 11:14:28 AM  
You know, there are worse ways to go, but I can't think of a more undignified way than autoerotic asphyxiation.
 
2013-07-31 11:18:45 AM  
Coming up next 10 Reasons Cheers was a bad bar and 11 reasons why Hawkeye was an awful doctor.  After a show has been off the air for a decade or more it is time to give it a break you're not insightful you're recycling old material.
 
2013-07-31 11:21:54 AM  
10. Because Scully was a MD and a forensic pathologist and could have been out making $200,000 or more at any coroner's office in the country
 
2013-07-31 11:38:36 AM  
Reason #9:

www.truefreethinker.com
 
2013-07-31 12:04:20 PM  
Uh, you only need one reason: Fox kept blaming aliens for all the cases he failed to close, but could never produce the tiniest scrap of evidence to back up his wild stories. In real life, the guy would have been fired in less than a month for being a lazy goldbricker who made up the worst excuses ever for not doing his job.

But come on, this was a show about an FBI department that exclusively tracked things like Mothman and Bigfoot. It was never meant to be realistic.
 
2013-07-31 12:04:22 PM  
And Scully has no acquired memory.

Mulder: "I think it's a yeti."
Scully: "Mulder there's no such thing."
Mulder: *SMACK* "We go through this every Goddamned week!"
 
2013-07-31 12:13:02 PM  
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-07-31 12:15:50 PM  
I liked Doggett.
 
2013-07-31 12:18:18 PM  
I want to believe otherwise.
 
2013-07-31 12:27:54 PM  
Was "Mulder has a picture of himself in his underwear in his badge" on the list?

/they solved that case at least
// "He's bringing love! Kill him!"
 
2013-07-31 12:40:16 PM  

Zombie DJ: I liked Doggett.


Doggett was a good replacement. He added the skeptic back to the show, because after the shiat Scully had seen over the years she could no longer believably be the skeptic.

And some of the best shows of seasons 8 and 9 were Doggett-centric
 
2013-07-31 12:41:47 PM  
Every Topless Robot article:

1. Stop liking what I like!

2. OMG this ___ (that we totally weren't paid to hype the f*ck out of) is just totally awesome to the max!
 
2013-07-31 12:42:22 PM  

verbaltoxin: Every Topless Robot article:

1. Stop liking what I don't like!

2. OMG this ___ (that we totally weren't paid to hype the f*ck out of) is just totally awesome to the max!


Don't like. FTFM.
 
2013-07-31 12:48:26 PM  

verbaltoxin: verbaltoxin: Every Topless Robot article:

1. Stop liking what I don't like!

2. OMG this ___ (that we totally weren't paid to hype the f*ck out of) is just totally awesome to the max!

Don't like. FTFM.


pretty sure you had it right the first time.  The guy who wrote this clearly likes the X-Files.
 
2013-07-31 12:54:21 PM  
Can someone please tell Topless Robot that it's just a TV show? They should probably just relax.
 
2013-07-31 01:13:47 PM  
Seriously people, talking about the show when we could be sharing pictures of Gillian Anderson, hands down one of the hottest women on TV?  Philistines.

img.photobucket.com
img.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-31 01:15:16 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: Zombie DJ: I liked Doggett.

Doggett was a good replacement. He added the skeptic back to the show, because after the shiat Scully had seen over the years she could no longer believably be the skeptic.

And some of the best shows of seasons 8 and 9 were Doggett-centric


I always hated the way they just shoved him aside in the series finale -  "Out of the way!  Duchovny's back!!!"

I also never would have guessed from T2 that Robert Patrick would prove to be such a good actor.
 
2013-07-31 01:15:41 PM  
And some more, because she's worth it.  (Also, if you haven't seen the BBC series "The Fall," do so, it's good and she's great in it.)

img.photobucket.com
img.photobucket.com
img.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-31 02:22:40 PM  
Redrum
 
2013-07-31 02:27:55 PM  

js34603: Was "Mulder has a picture of himself in his underwear in his badge" on the list?

/they solved that case at least
// "He's bringing love! Kill him!"


dr.jeebus.sydlexia.com
 
2013-07-31 02:51:33 PM  

Mugato: And Scully has no acquired memory.

Mulder: "I think it's a yeti."
Scully: "Mulder there's no such thing."
Mulder: *SMACK* "We go through this every Goddamned week!"


In every show with supernatural beings, there's always a sceptical character that believes whatever new thing is impossible. Despite the fact that there's a new thing every week. At least Indiana Jones would give a little credence to mythical stuff.
 
2013-07-31 03:01:46 PM  

Fano: In every show with supernatural beings, there's always a sceptical character that believes whatever new thing is impossible. Despite the fact that there's a new thing every week.


Well except Supernatural but in that everyone involved hunts supernatural things for a living.
 
2013-07-31 03:25:33 PM  
Can't be any worse than Olivia Dunham. I love "Fringe," but good god, she's bad at her job. Example: every third episode or so, someone (usually with no special skills) gets the drop on her despite the fact that she has her weapon drawn, often even when she's holding them at gunpoint. Whenever she pulls her gun on someone, she never tells them to get on the floor and put their hands behind their heads, and she always gets so close to them that she doesn't have time to react when they make a sudden move. Even if she somehow forgot all her FBI training, you'd think she'd learn her lesson after the first 3 or 4 times it happened. But no.

/pet peeve
 
2013-07-31 03:26:53 PM  
Article is kinda dumb. They weren't bad Agents at all.

8: Secrecy: is only important if you go undercover. They were trying to reveal big Govt secrets, not keep them covered up, that requires some attention.

7 Travel Budget: Seriously? They are the only people able and willing to deal with the slimy thing killing people and you want to begrudge them a few nights in a cheap motel and a rental car?

6 and 5 Local LE dealings and no calls for backup: Both the same issue really, Local LE and even other FBI field offices don't like them or want to help because they don't believe their crackpot theories so they have to go without them.

4 Constant suspensions: Duh, they are working against a small Cabal within the Bureau higher-ups, naturally they were going to get reigned in from time to time

3 No magic powers: Not the focus of the show, the few times when it was supposed to be magic there was usually a dark price for it and some ambiguity. Mostly it was aliens and mutants.

2 Lots of trouble: Goes back to the Local LE and backup issue, they are marginalized so they are left more vulnerable to getting in trouble.

1 Often don't solve cases: Their cases are sometimes unexplainable and they are dealing with forces way bigger than themselves. Also practically speaking the show outlived it's premise and the writers kept changing the subject before resolving anything. It's one of the things that makes Supernatural so much better of a show. They give up the big reveal every season (or every other season) and have it lead to the next big bad. Sure the show hasn't ever lived up to the glory days of beating Satan the last few years but you know it's stories do go somewhere.
 
2013-07-31 03:28:22 PM  

shinjitsuism:

[ image 792x633]

I'd give her an advancement, if ya know what I mean.

/And I think you do


Really look at that picture. I mean really look. She looks like she's either three sheets to the wind or has had a stroke.

i.imgur.com
 
2013-07-31 03:58:33 PM  

100 Watt Walrus: Really look at that picture. I mean really look. She looks like she's either three sheets to the wind or has had a stroke.


If you take a picture of most actresses in their late 20s, then fast forward nearly 20 years, there are going to be some changes..
 
2013-07-31 04:18:47 PM  

Somaticasual: 100 Watt Walrus: Really look at that picture. I mean really look. She looks like she's either three sheets to the wind or has had a stroke.

If you take a picture of most actresses in their late 20s, then fast forward nearly 20 years, there are going to be some changes..


I have no problem with her being in her 40s, and I can't imagine why you'd think that's what I'm talking about. I'm saying it's horrible picture. One eye looks swollen or half-closed. She looks slack-jawed, which is dragging down her cheeks. The way her hair falls looks like she's been up all night (as opposed to sexy bed-head, which is what I think they were going for). It looks like she's on the verge of barfing.

Look at some of the candids from ComicCon for comparison. It's just flat-out a bad picture. Even the pose is bad. Even her left leg looks twisted, like she fell into the chair from the bed.
 
2013-07-31 04:34:12 PM  

100 Watt Walrus: shinjitsuism:

[ image 792x633]

I'd give her an advancement, if ya know what I mean.

/And I think you do

Really look at that picture. I mean really look. She looks like she's either three sheets to the wind or has had a stroke.

[i.imgur.com image 301x436]


Uh, no.
 
2013-07-31 05:00:15 PM  

100 Watt Walrus: Can't be any worse than Olivia Dunham. I love "Fringe," but good god, she's bad at her job. Example: every third episode or so, someone (usually with no special skills) gets the drop on her despite the fact that she has her weapon drawn, often even when she's holding them at gunpoint. Whenever she pulls her gun on someone, she never tells them to get on the floor and put their hands behind their heads, and she always gets so close to them that she doesn't have time to react when they make a sudden move. Even if she somehow forgot all her FBI training, you'd think she'd learn her lesson after the first 3 or 4 times it happened. But no.

/pet peeve


Insanely agree with this.  I always wondered how she passed basic FBI training.
 
2013-07-31 05:10:09 PM  

Digitalstrange: 1 Often don't solve cases


I agree with all the stuff you had to say.  I didn't watch X-Files, but what's wrong with not solving some cases.  I imagine that would add greatly to the plot of each show... unlike most every other cop/FBI/etc. show where you know they're going to solve the case.
 
2013-07-31 05:32:22 PM  

mhedstrom: 100 Watt Walrus: Can't be any worse than Olivia Dunham. I love "Fringe," but good god, she's bad at her job. Example: every third episode or so, someone (usually with no special skills) gets the drop on her despite the fact that she has her weapon drawn, often even when she's holding them at gunpoint. Whenever she pulls her gun on someone, she never tells them to get on the floor and put their hands behind their heads, and she always gets so close to them that she doesn't have time to react when they make a sudden move. Even if she somehow forgot all her FBI training, you'd think she'd learn her lesson after the first 3 or 4 times it happened. But no.

/pet peeve

Insanely agree with this.  I always wondered how she passed basic FBI training.


I love how during the 5th season she completely forgot EVERYTHING related to her FBI training. She was just a background piece.
 
2013-07-31 05:44:31 PM  

100 Watt Walrus: Somaticasual: 100 Watt Walrus: Really look at that picture. I mean really look. She looks like she's either three sheets to the wind or has had a stroke.

If you take a picture of most actresses in their late 20s, then fast forward nearly 20 years, there are going to be some changes..

I have no problem with her being in her 40s, and I can't imagine why you'd think that's what I'm talking about. I'm saying it's horrible picture. One eye looks swollen or half-closed. She looks slack-jawed, which is dragging down her cheeks. The way her hair falls looks like she's been up all night (as opposed to sexy bed-head, which is what I think they were going for). It looks like she's on the verge of barfing.

Look at some of the candids from ComicCon for comparison. It's just flat-out a bad picture. Even the pose is bad. Even her left leg looks twisted, like she fell into the chair from the bed.


Fair enough. The sultry thing just didn't fly for that take..
 
2013-07-31 06:09:24 PM  
not calling for backup seems like the biggest complaint... i don't know how insurance works for fbi agents, but I'm pretty sure that they are an absurd liability by even the laziest risk assessor.
 
2013-07-31 07:43:50 PM  
FTFA
Secrecy would appear to be a fundamental part of the job for the X-filers' work, yet about ¾ through the series Mulder is described as being too well-known to show his face in Las Vegas, a city famous, of course, for being predominantly quiet and easy to spot people in.

Wasn't this the point by which Mulder was in hiding because the conspirators were going to kill him on sight so the Gunmen called Scully instead? And it's not so much that it was Vegas, but that it was a security contractor convention in Vegas full of exactly the kind of people who'd know his face and likely report him.
 
2013-07-31 11:52:16 PM  

Wellon Dowd: You know, there are worse ways to go, but I can't think of a more undignified way than autoerotic asphyxiation.


Why are you telling me this?
 
2013-08-01 03:57:58 AM  

serial_crusher: "The X-Files' Fox Mulder and Dana Scully weren't the sort of agents you'd really recommend for career advancement."

Wasn't that kind of the point? They spent the whole show in the basement office being managements punching bags. The X-Files were a dead end.

Scully was the kind of agent you recommend for career advancement, but had the unfortunate luck to have that advancement be made contingent upon her discrediting Mulder enough that the bureau could fire him. So, when she realized his work was more important than career advancement, she stopped being that kind of person.


Exactly. Seems TFA kind of forgot THE ENTIRE PREMISE OF THE SHOW!

And to think that Dog-boy and Whatshertits were anything other than a desperate attempt by Carter to keep the show alive so it could be milked for a few more seasons is insane.

I stopped watching at the beginning of Season 8 when Scully put Mulder's nameplate in the desk drawer and shut it. That was it for me, and I had been a RABID x-phile, RABID!

/No Mulder, No Me
 
2013-08-01 04:00:22 AM  

FirstNationalBastard: Zombie DJ: I liked Doggett.

Doggett was a good replacement. He added the skeptic back to the show, because after the shiat Scully had seen over the years she could no longer believably be the skeptic.

And some of the best shows of seasons 8 and 9 were Doggett-centric


BARF! I'm glad I never watched those two seasons, to this day.

/loathe Dog-boy, then and now
 
2013-08-01 05:04:25 AM  

silvervial: FirstNationalBastard: Zombie DJ: I liked Doggett.

Doggett was a good replacement. He added the skeptic back to the show, because after the shiat Scully had seen over the years she could no longer believably be the skeptic.

And some of the best shows of seasons 8 and 9 were Doggett-centric

BARF! I'm glad I never watched those two seasons, to this day.

/loathe Dog-boy, then and now


You hated the last two seasons which you never watched? Okay. That makes sense.

/buffcoat and beaver
 
2013-08-01 09:41:09 PM  

ckccfa: Seriously people, talking about the show when we could be sharing pictures of Gillian Anderson, hands down one of the hottest women on TV?  Philistines.

[img.photobucket.com image 191x263]
[img.photobucket.com image 259x194]


I won't deny she's hot- she is. Annabeth Gish wasn't rough on the eyes either.
 
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