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(Jalopnik)   Enterprise Rent-A-Car begins advertising campaign that will poll extremely well with 50% of the population   (jalopnik.com) divider line 172
    More: Amusing, Enterprise Rent-A-Car, Enterprise  
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31691 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Jul 2013 at 8:06 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



172 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-07-30 07:16:56 PM  
And now, to explain to my girlfriend why I want to rent a car when I have one sitting in the driveway that works perfectly fine.

/until I pull off one or two of the spark plug wires
 
2013-07-30 07:17:59 PM  
Actually, just noticed that they didn't promise that the sucking in question would be done by an attractive female. There's always a catch.
 
2013-07-30 07:31:21 PM  
Much like the 'spotted dick' in Britain, 'cock-sucking' in Wales just means they will fill your gas tank up for you after picking you up.

It's not unheard of to hear people say "Thanks for sucking my cock!" after getting their car back from a friend and finding it has more gas in it than when you lent it to them.

www.promoboxx.com
 
2013-07-30 07:59:54 PM  

scottydoesntknow: Much like the 'spotted dick' in Britain, 'cock-sucking' in Wales just means they will fill your gas tank up for you after picking you up.

It's not unheard of to hear people say "Thanks for sucking my cock!" after getting their car back from a friend and finding it has more gas in it than when you lent it to them.

[www.promoboxx.com image 344x226]


Possibly true but I'm a bit scared to google that on my work computer to confirm.
 
2013-07-30 08:08:58 PM  

FourDirections: Actually, just noticed that they didn't promise that the sucking in question would be done by an attractive female. There's always a catch.


Just wear a blindfold. As long as it's not a dude with facial hair you'll never know the difference.
 
2013-07-30 08:09:53 PM  
Enterprise just sucks, period.
 
2013-07-30 08:10:20 PM  
You know, I don't usually go for cock sucking, but if it's free, I can't pass that up.
 
2013-07-30 08:10:34 PM  
Now I know why the windows are papered over when the car drives around in the ads.
 
2013-07-30 08:10:54 PM  
"I'm trying to move on up to head detailer but the boss wants to keep me here for some reason"
www.bmoviegraveyard.com
 
2013-07-30 08:12:07 PM  
And what do *I* get?
 
2013-07-30 08:12:10 PM  
Awesome.... just awesome.
 
2013-07-30 08:13:02 PM  
www.engrish.com
 
2013-07-30 08:13:08 PM  
Hat tip to James!

And cock-sucking.
 
2013-07-30 08:15:23 PM  

cowgirl toffee: And what do *I* get?


Betrayed desires and a piece of game.
 
2013-07-30 08:16:10 PM  

cowgirl toffee: And what do *I* get?


Are the wimmin demanding special rights again?
 
2013-07-30 08:17:25 PM  
Enterprise really was great when our car was destroyed by an inattentive driver ramming us.  They came out and gave us a car and dealt with the paperwork with the insurance company flawlessly (the only part of the interactions with the insurance company that worked right).  I give Enterprise  major props after that.
 
2013-07-30 08:19:40 PM  
My boss did a favor for me by cancelling a meeting I wasn't prepared for. As he was telling me about it, I was thinking, OMG, I'm so happy I could drop down and suck your dick.

Fortunately our thoughts are not visible.

Note: He's happily married and I'm a hideous beast so don't bother clicking anything.
 
2013-07-30 08:21:48 PM  
From the comments.....

"
Dearest Mr. Rentacar, Good Morning

My name is Hermann, I am writing for the hospital and I have recently rented one of your vehicles, a previous-gen Vauxhall Astra to be specific. I am very unpleased to have to write to you, especially from the Hospital.

I've come across your services by an advertise on The Herald yesterday morning and by the superior offerings you had on the advertising because not only you would pick me up, you had some other interesting offerings beside the price.

I called on your 0800 and booked the Astra, and asked for the services at my own house early in the morning to have some spare time to get my day going so I could take the car and drive to Fellationshire where I needed to be at precisely 11 in the morning in a meeting with Ms. Lewinski, a associate to my company. And I was really looking forward for your services and for this meeting afterwards. A certain woman answered the phone when I called (and lovely voice she had, mind you). I promptly asked if she was the one to deliver the services, and if all the mentioned services were standard. She told me all services mentioned on the advertising were standard and also said that she had booked a man called Geoff to make the delivery and that no one else was available. She pointed that I shouldn't worry because Geoff is the best they have, and that I'm lucky to have it delivered by him, because he's known for being not only fast, but a very pleasant person. I agreed on these terms, because I indeed needed someone quick.

When Geoff arrived with the Astra today, 5 minutes early. I even apologized for leaving him waiting, because I was still getting ready. I asked him where would be the best place for his services. He told me that the driveway was okay, even though I reminded him that my neighbor Mr. Reliant was a very nosy person, and he might see our "transactions". He responded that there was nothing wrong with him, I agreed and as soon as I could, I closed my house, left my briefcase on the back seat and rushed to Geoff, and asked him how he preferred it, standing up or seating in the car. Geoff said we could do it right there, standing next to the car. I was in a hurry and didn't argue and while I was unzipping my trousers, Geoff handed me over the Credit Card machine and some papers to sign.

Geoff jumped scared as he saw my man sausage hanging out, as if he wasn't expecting it. I apologized for the rush, and told him he could get started on sucking on my Penis while I signed the papers and paid for the car and services. And while I was searching for my pen, I missed to see Geoff swinging his arm to hit my face, which he hit right in the middle. I fell right on the floor, and while trying to understand the situation in which I found myself in, he started kicking my exposed man parts, my intestines and my face.

Now I must ask you to speak to my Lawyer, whose contact I've attached to this letter. You must speak to him and hope to get paid for not only your Geoff kicking me to intensive care, but also for misleading advertising and for making me miss an important appointment, which may cost my association. I hope we can reach common terms as soon as possible.

Thank you for your attention, have a nice day.

Hermann Today 9:53am"
 
2013-07-30 08:22:18 PM  

interstellar_tedium: Enterprise really was great when our car was destroyed by an inattentive driver ramming us.  They came out and gave us a car and dealt with the paperwork with the insurance company flawlessly (the only part of the interactions with the insurance company that worked right).  I give Enterprise  major props after that.


That's their niche: repair shops and dealerships. And they were ALWAYS a pleasure to deal with.
 
2013-07-30 08:23:03 PM  
fark Enterprise.. Those farking assholes don't accept debit-Visa cards and only take.. and I quote.. "Real credit cards"

Hertz picked me up at Enterprise, took me down and gave me a Chrysler 300 for the same rental fee Enterprise was going to charge me for a Sedan..
 
2013-07-30 08:24:18 PM  
images2.wikia.nocookie.net

"I'll take your reservation for $1000."
 
2013-07-30 08:24:46 PM  
literally just picked up a rental from enterprise because some dimwit creamed my parked truck over the weekend.  would've accepted cock sucking from the woman who assisted me had it been offered.

/not offered.
 
2013-07-30 08:25:54 PM  

FourDirections: Actually, just noticed that they didn't promise that the sucking in question would be done by an attractive female. There's always a catch.



It's Great Britain, so I'm sure she'll be "smokin' hot", if you know what I mean.
 
2013-07-30 08:25:55 PM  

cowgirl toffee: And what do *I* get?


Nothing, hopefully.
 
2013-07-30 08:26:07 PM  
i291.photobucket.com

i291.photobucket.com

/f**k yeah
 
2013-07-30 08:26:25 PM  

cowgirl toffee: And what do *I* get?


a mouthful?
 
2013-07-30 08:26:40 PM  

b0rg9: FourDirections: Actually, just noticed that they didn't promise that the sucking in question would be done by an attractive female. There's always a catch.


It's Great Britain, so I'm sure she'll be "smokin' hot", if you know what I mean.


The SUN may be there.
 
2013-07-30 08:27:39 PM  

styckx: Hertz picked me up at Enterprise


BUUUURRN!
 
2013-07-30 08:33:14 PM  
I could really go for a rental car. A nice sloppy rental car.
 
2013-07-30 08:33:31 PM  
That's one of the funniest things I've seen in a while.

/yes including your headlines
//cause they usually suck
 
2013-07-30 08:34:16 PM  

FourDirections: Actually, just noticed that they didn't promise that the sucking in question would be done by an attractive female. There's always a catch.


This. I'm going to get in trouble with the wife? That'd better be one super attractive female with serious oral skills performing the c*ck-sucking.

Otherwise I'll just rent elsewhere.
 
2013-07-30 08:34:28 PM  

interstellar_tedium: Enterprise really was great when our car was destroyed by an inattentive driver ramming us.  They came out and gave us a car and dealt with the paperwork with the insurance company flawlessly (the only part of the interactions with the insurance company that worked right).  I give Enterprise  major props after that.


Yes, but how was the cock-sucking? Did you...you know, "leave them a tip"? Did they spit or swallow?
 
2013-07-30 08:35:01 PM  

styckx: fark Enterprise.. Those farking assholes don't accept debit-Visa cards and only take.. and I quote.. "Real credit cards"


Wrong.

They accept debit-VISA to pay your bill,
they just don't accept debit-VISA for your deposit during your car rental, because you can't place a hold on a debit-VISA card.
 
2013-07-30 08:36:20 PM  
img.gawkerassets.com
"Sort of want..."
 
2013-07-30 08:39:25 PM  
[womanwithroostermenhavestrangedemands.jpg]
 
2013-07-30 08:40:12 PM  
i1.ytimg.com

I'm here to rent a car.... and nothing else.
/Hollywood Bowl version IIRC
 
2013-07-30 08:42:45 PM  

Rand's lacy underwear: cowgirl toffee: And what do *I* get?

Betrayed desires and a piece of game.


:(

Rambino: cowgirl toffee: ...

Are the wimmin demanding special rights again?


o_o

Somacandra: cowgirl toffee: ...

Nothing, hopefully.


:/

johnny queso: cowgirl toffee: And what do *I* get?

a mouthful?


OK.  :D

I also want my rental car to be fully loaded... with bacon.

img96.imageshack.us
 
2013-07-30 08:43:17 PM  

berniex: styckx: fark Enterprise.. Those farking assholes don't accept debit-Visa cards and only take.. and I quote.. "Real credit cards"

Wrong.

They accept debit-VISA to pay your bill,
they just don't accept debit-VISA for your deposit during your car rental, because you can't place a hold on a debit-VISA card.


Does it even matter? Those assholes wouldn't let me rent a farking car after traveling across the entire country. Hertz had NO PROBLEM taking a $200 deposit using my card at all after a credit check.. Enterprise just treated me like some scumbag.
 
2013-07-30 08:43:25 PM  

MFAWG: interstellar_tedium: Enterprise really was great when our car was destroyed by an inattentive driver ramming us.  They came out and gave us a car and dealt with the paperwork with the insurance company flawlessly (the only part of the interactions with the insurance company that worked right).  I give Enterprise  major props after that.

That's their niche: repair shops and dealerships. And they were ALWAYS a pleasure to deal with.


I usually rent from Enterprise because I've never had any issues with them.  Budget and Thrifty can suck the business end of a shotgun.
 
2013-07-30 08:43:39 PM  

inglixthemad: FourDirections: Actually, just noticed that they didn't promise that the sucking in question would be done by an attractive female. There's always a catch.

This. I'm going to get in trouble with the wife? That'd better be one super attractive female with serious oral skills performing the c*ck-sucking.

Otherwise I'll just rent elsewhere.


But fat and ugly women give the best head.
 
2013-07-30 08:44:41 PM  

FourDirections: Actually, just noticed that they didn't promise that the sucking in question would be done by an attractive female. There's always a catch.


They are usually little dip shiat whores that just graduated from college that work there, just like my ex.  Either way, it's not worth the rental.
 
2013-07-30 08:45:01 PM  
My son is a junior executive at Enterprise-Rent-A-Car corporate HQ and he's getting a kick out of these replies.

/we think he's gay
//NTTAWWT
 
2013-07-30 08:47:13 PM  
antidisestablishmentarianism:
Possibly true but I'm a bit scared to google that on my work computer to confirm.

Showing results for "cock sucking whales"...
 
2013-07-30 08:47:47 PM  
img546.imageshack.us
 
2013-07-30 08:50:12 PM  
Sure won't be seeing that one on Leno.
 
2013-07-30 08:55:30 PM  
I dont understand the hate towards Enterprise. I have never ever been charged for smoking in a single one of the cars i have rented from them, and rent at least twice a year.
Febreeze does wonders ...
 
2013-07-30 08:55:55 PM  
I'm calling the whole thing a hoax.

It's supposedly a WELSH newspaper with vowels in the text.
 
2013-07-30 09:00:03 PM  

interstellar_tedium: Enterprise really was great when our car was destroyed by an inattentive driver ramming us.  They came out and gave us a car and dealt with the paperwork with the insurance company flawlessly (the only part of the interactions with the insurance company that worked right).  I give Enterprise  major props after that.


When mine was stolen they (and Progressive) were awesome. Free Jaguar for a month, and all I had to do was get picked up for a ride to the rental, show my license, sign a form that said they could bill my insurance company at about $30/day, and 30 days later I just had to drop it off.

The only downside was they forgot too suck my cock, apparently.
 
2013-07-30 09:02:29 PM  

kidsizedcoffin: inglixthemad: FourDirections: Actually, just noticed that they didn't promise that the sucking in question would be done by an attractive female. There's always a catch.

This. I'm going to get in trouble with the wife? That'd better be one super attractive female with serious oral skills performing the c*ck-sucking.

Otherwise I'll just rent elsewhere.

But fat and ugly women give the best head.


Not true. There is a friend I used to have, before I got married, and to this day I would seriously let her suck my c*ck now even if I got in trouble. Polish, dirty blonde, firm D cups (after having a kid), tight a$$, and she was fun to f*ck her too. Too bad the rest of the relationship wasn't as good as the sex.

I've seen her a couple of times at the store, and she still doesn't wear underwear. Self described slut, and she knows how to work her body. I've seriously debated asking for permission for Polish girl to come over and teach the wife some tricks. Even if my wife didn't learn sh*t, I'd get a heck of a blow job that night at least once.

My wife isn't bad, but she can't compare to Polish girl's oral skills. Then again, my wife is smarter and is better at other aspects in bed ;-)
 
2013-07-30 09:03:06 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
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