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(Uproxx)   Prepare to feel a combination of old, weird, and aroused by Lil Ruthie from 7th Heaven in Maxim   (uproxx.com) divider line 55
    More: Strange, Jodie Sweetin, Sam Merlotte, Aaron Spelling, Jessica Biel, Full House, know-it-all  
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9934 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 30 Jul 2013 at 2:17 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



55 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-07-30 01:24:52 PM
If I feel aroused, I'm not old.
 
2013-07-30 01:34:17 PM
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2013-07-30 01:42:08 PM
repnvairadio.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-07-30 01:43:13 PM
Never watched 7th Heaven, so no weirdness for me.
 
2013-07-30 02:20:04 PM
Yeah I'm pretty sure I would have to have watched 7th Heaven, let alone given a shiat about it, in order to feel weird.
 
2013-07-30 02:22:46 PM
So she seems low for the standars of Maxim.

I mean, she's not ugly in any way. She's just not drop dead hot or anything.

This has got to be just because she was on 7th Heaven.
 
2013-07-30 02:23:56 PM
Not bad, but she's no Ariel Winter.
 
2013-07-30 02:24:43 PM
i500.listal.com
 
2013-07-30 02:30:57 PM

Jim from Saint Paul: So she seems low for the standars of Maxim.

I mean, she's not ugly in any way. She's just not drop dead hot or anything.

This has got to be just because she was on 7th Heaven.


I agree. I'm not saying her knees are too sharp, but her tits are way too tiny for Maxim and I think half the girls in my office have cuter faces.
 
2013-07-30 02:31:23 PM
Is that the show where Decker was a preacher or something?
 
2013-07-30 02:32:10 PM

ferretman: [i500.listal.com image 500x634]


And the after photo?
 
2013-07-30 02:35:41 PM
i always thought she was hawt
 
2013-07-30 02:35:56 PM

23FPB23: Is that the show where Decker was a preacher or something?


No, it's the show where Decker married the chick that time travlled with Kirk to the 23rd century.

Get it right.
 
2013-07-30 02:47:19 PM

E_Henry_Thripshaws_Disease: i always thought she was hawt


You. Seat. Over there.
 
2013-07-30 02:58:07 PM
And? Every woman you've ever wanted to bone was once a little girl. (Save for that tiny percentage that used to be little boys.)
 
2013-07-30 02:59:06 PM

FarkingReading: Jim from Saint Paul: So she seems low for the standars of Maxim.

I mean, she's not ugly in any way. She's just not drop dead hot or anything.

This has got to be just because she was on 7th Heaven.

I agree. I'm not saying her knees are too sharp, but her tits are way too tiny for Maxim and I think half the girls in my office have cuter faces.


Ugh.  The Amish chick is ugly and has no business doing any kind of modelling, Alyssa Milano looks like someone Mom, and now this?  I can't wait for my Maxim sub to expire.  I paid $5 for a years worth I think and it's just terrible.  Only the jokes are half decent and that's being generous.  It probably has an entire 10 pages of content, plus one 5 page article that's usually worth reading (maybe).  Not what I remembered from college, but that's because it doesn't come close.
 
2013-07-30 03:01:35 PM
how old is she now?
 
2013-07-30 03:09:00 PM

Freeballin: Ugh.  The Amish chick is ugly and has no business doing any kind of modelling, Alyssa Milano looks like someone Mom, and now this?  I can't wait for my Maxim sub to expire.  I paid $5 for a years worth I think and it's just terrible.  Only the jokes are half decent and that's being generous.  It probably has an entire 10 pages of content, plus one 5 page article that's usually worth reading (maybe).  Not what I remembered from college, but that's because it doesn't come close.


Yes, but a year or so from now, Maxim will feature a photo layout of Chloe Moretz....
data.whicdn.com

... which will cause Maxim subscriptions to skyrocket and stock in Kimberly-Clark to go through the roof.

You know this to be true.
 
2013-07-30 03:10:49 PM
No different from the boner I had when I saw Lacey Chabert's boobs when she was around 18.
 
2013-07-30 03:11:20 PM
"Alyssa Milano looks like someone Mom"

i340.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-30 03:16:05 PM

LonMead: Freeballin: Ugh.  The Amish chick is ugly and has no business doing any kind of modelling, Alyssa Milano looks like someone Mom, and now this?  I can't wait for my Maxim sub to expire.  I paid $5 for a years worth I think and it's just terrible.  Only the jokes are half decent and that's being generous.  It probably has an entire 10 pages of content, plus one 5 page article that's usually worth reading (maybe).  Not what I remembered from college, but that's because it doesn't come close.

Yes, but a year or so from now, Maxim will feature a photo layout of Chloe Moretz....


... which will cause Maxim subscriptions to skyrocket and stock in Kimberly-Clark to go through the roof.

You know this to be true.


Well done.
 
2013-07-30 03:33:13 PM
Eh, never watched 7th Heaven so I'm not getting the creep out. Now creep out is remembering Alexa Vega from the Spy Kids movies that I watched with my son, and seeing how she looks now. I'm at work, otherwise I'd post a pic.
 
2013-07-30 03:34:55 PM
Freeballin:... Alyssa Milano looks like someone Mom...

I think it's because she's someone's Mom...
cdn-premiere.ladmedia.fr

But still...
image.celebshoots.com

I would happily do things that would make even a FARKer blush with her once the kid is down for his nap.
 
2013-07-30 03:37:02 PM
I don't know anything about 7th heaven, except that i is probably where that ass was manufactured. Oh my god, the people I would kill to touch that thing...
 
2013-07-30 03:39:49 PM

Dingleberry Dickwad: Eh, never watched 7th Heaven so I'm not getting the creep out. Now creep out is remembering Alexa Vega from the Spy Kids movies that I watched with my son, and seeing how she looks now. I'm at work, otherwise I'd post a pic.


You mean like this one?
norandom.com

Quite nice, yes, but still wouldn't distract me from Carla Gugino...
netflowers.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-07-30 03:45:29 PM
Anybody have the .GIF with the Dad leering at her?

oi44.tinypic.com
 
2013-07-30 03:51:29 PM
Missed the countdown clock on Alexa Vega. One minute she was this adorable Spy Kids girl and the next I'm feeling like an old perv.

t3.gstatic.com
 
2013-07-30 04:06:11 PM

natgab: Anybody have the .GIF with the Dad leering at her?

[oi44.tinypic.com image 480x360]

 
2013-07-30 04:06:34 PM
Yup.
 
2013-07-30 04:07:40 PM
Goddamnit.
 
2013-07-30 04:19:41 PM
This is Fark. "Old, weird and aroused" is how everyone around here feels all the time.
 
2013-07-30 04:23:35 PM
I've never understood why people think you're supposed to feel weird about this sort of thing. Every porn star you've ever jacked off to was a little kid once, are there people who don't know this?  Have none of you ever gone to the in-laws and looked through photo albums from your partners childhood? Did that make you feel weird too?
 
2013-07-30 04:33:58 PM

ReapTheChaos: I've never understood why people think you're supposed to feel weird about this sort of thing. Every porn star you've ever jacked off to was a little kid once, are there people who don't know this?  Have none of you ever gone to the in-laws and looked through photo albums from your partners childhood? Did that make you feel weird too?


Don't be facetious. It's not about knowing someone was young sometime in the past, it's about seeing them when they were young and you were an adult, and then seeing that same young person all grown up and realizing they grew up hot.
 
2013-07-30 04:39:16 PM
Jessica Biel was on that show.  She turned out OK, too.
 
2013-07-30 04:43:23 PM
She was only 7 when the series started. She's 24 now. I reckon she wants everyone to know. Good on her.
 
2013-07-30 04:46:32 PM

varmitydog: She was only 7 when the series started. She's 24 now. I reckon she wants everyone to know. Good on her.


Maybe I was older watching reruns when I first watched the show. I swear I remember her being 7 when I was 15... and I just turned 27.

There are definitely no weird feelings coming from me. She's hot and she's legal.
 
2013-07-30 04:49:56 PM

Strayha04: varmitydog: She was only 7 when the series started. She's 24 now. I reckon she wants everyone to know. Good on her.

Maybe I was older watching reruns when I first watched the show. I swear I remember her being 7 when I was 15... and I just turned 27.

There are definitely no weird feelings coming from me. She's hot and she's legal.


Reruns. The show started sometime in '96-97 ish as I recall.
 
2013-07-30 04:59:01 PM

Strayha04: varmitydog: She was only 7 when the series started. She's 24 now. I reckon she wants everyone to know. Good on her.

Maybe I was older watching reruns when I first watched the show. I swear I remember her being 7 when I was 15... and I just turned 27.

There are definitely no weird feelings coming from me. She's hot and she's legal.


She was Lisa Simpson on that show.  The young too smart for her own damn good character.  It was good when they killed her off.
 
2013-07-30 05:07:13 PM
www.blogcdn.com
 
2013-07-30 05:19:34 PM

Freeballin: Alyssa Milano looks like someone Mom


Well, I'd still try and give her kid a sibling...
 
2013-07-30 05:23:20 PM

Strayha04: Maybe I was older watching reruns when I first watched the show. I swear I remember her being 7 when I was 15... and I just turned 27.


She's also a little smaller than the norm, which is a dream come true for casting execs, because Teens Are Short. I imagine she's still sub-5'2''.

/IMDb sez 5', but who knows how long since that's been updated...
 
2013-07-30 05:27:05 PM
Don't think this is new, didn't she "leak" her own pictures with her friends before? It's hard to keep up with all the young Hollywood girls taking pictures of themselves and "leaking" them.
 
2013-07-30 05:27:56 PM
"old, weird, and aroused?"
or as I like to call it, "Tuesday"
 
2013-07-30 05:41:36 PM
[toold.gif]
 
2013-07-30 05:46:39 PM

Dingleberry Dickwad: Eh, never watched 7th Heaven so I'm not getting the creep out. Now creep out is remembering Alexa Vega from the Spy Kids movies that I watched with my son, and seeing how she looks now. I'm at work, otherwise I'd post a pic.


Now that I'm off work I'll do this one.

I watched this with my kid

upload.wikimedia.org

Turn into

encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com

Makes me feel kinda old and creepy when I fap to her.
 
2013-07-30 05:48:59 PM

Nana's Vibrator: Jessica Biel was on that show.  She turned out OK, too.


So did Beverley Mitchell.  This chick is a distant third.
 
2013-07-30 05:58:38 PM

IlGreven: Strayha04: Maybe I was older watching reruns when I first watched the show. I swear I remember her being 7 when I was 15... and I just turned 27.

She's also a little smaller than the norm, which is a dream come true for casting execs, because Teens Are Short. I imagine she's still sub-5'2''.

/IMDb sez 5', but who knows how long since that's been updated...


Teens Are Short has to be one of the dumbest things I have read on the internets.

OMG, stop the presses!  My brothers and I were 6'4" in high school, but my parents were only 5'8" and 6'0"

OMG, my cousins' heights are 5'4" and 5'8"

STOP THE MOTHER farkING PRESSES
 
2013-07-30 06:05:28 PM

Yes please: Nana's Vibrator: Jessica Biel was on that show.  She turned out OK, too.

So did Beverley Mitchell.  This chick is a distant third.


YEP

www.zeusbox.com
 
2013-07-30 06:14:45 PM

Dingleberry Dickwad: Dingleberry Dickwad: Eh, never watched 7th Heaven so I'm not getting the creep out. Now creep out is remembering Alexa Vega from the Spy Kids movies that I watched with my son, and seeing how she looks now. I'm at work, otherwise I'd post a pic.

Now that I'm off work I'll do this one.

I watched this with my kid

[upload.wikimedia.org image 250x353]

Turn into

[encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com image 225x225]

Makes me feel kinda old and creepy when I fap to her.


I always thought that was Joseph Gordon Levitt's younger sister.

/Damn she aged very well.
 
2013-07-30 09:37:57 PM
I don't feel weird at all. Never watched the show.
 
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