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(Boston.com)   Millennials have it tough because they can never truly break up with somebody thanks to social media and smart phones. "Missing your now-married ex-girlfriend and wondering what she's up to? Sift through her engagement photos on Facebook"   (boston.com) divider line 128
    More: Silly, Facebook, engagement photos, smartphones, girlfriend  
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2586 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Jul 2013 at 5:26 AM (37 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-07-30 12:18:32 AM
No, assholes, you just have no self-control. Have a kid with one of those girls... NOW you're stuck putting up with their crap for the next 18 years.
 
2013-07-30 12:33:41 AM
I have three Facebook accounts, none of which I use regularly.  But it's all because when I set up my first one, while it was still limited to universities, the first friend request I got was from an ex-girlfriend.  At that point I was well past college and had a staff account.  She was well past college and was working at another university and had a staff account.  We had last dated a decade before, and I hadn't heard from her since.  It was all new, so I added her as a "friend" even though I don't think that's what they were called right after it launched.

Prior to Facebook becoming what it was, I had work friends and her, and she was not a good Facebook friend.  We had friends in common, but she found out I was single and showed up in DC from South Dakota during a happy hour for work and spent an uncomfortable night trying to start something up again.

Facebook is better these days because people realize what it's for, but that freaked me out.  Back in the day (let's call it early 90's) you didn't have a woman tracking you down after 10 years of no communication.  There was a reason we stopped communicating.  In 2004-2005, suddenly that was easy to try out.

Now that I have the etiquette down, I just don't respond to friend requests on Facebook.  I'm 45.  I know who I want to talk to.  Anyone who is still asking is just asking because Facebook is recommending it.

/yeah, yeah, off my lawn.
 
2013-07-30 12:53:27 AM
Not really. I know (the big ex) she's married and has a child. I sent her an FB message wishing her well as a new parent (she graciously responded and thanked me), but I never friended her and she can't read my stuff. I have two other previous lovers as FB friends and everything is cool. Of course I'm more a Gen X'er and not a Millennial, but there it is.
 
2013-07-30 12:59:14 AM
Missing your now-married ex-girlfriend and wondering what she's up to? Sift through her engagement photos on Facebook

Excellent plan, as long as the plan's overt goal is to be depressed.
 
2013-07-30 02:03:16 AM
Millennials have it tough because...

They can't do anything really stupid in college, because someone will post it on the Internet where it will live forever!

Seriously, in 20 years, I think there will be a huge age gap in politicians, where anyone that went to college from 2005 to 2015 won't be electable. This will be the age group that was old enough to be affected by the permanency of the Internet, yet young enough not to learn it in time.

/there's a girl named "Libby" that knows what I'm talking about.
 
2013-07-30 02:11:49 AM
Here's one reason not to fear facebook


"But the reason is very obvious. The pressure of public opinion can do in the town what the law cannot accomplish. There is no lane so vile that the scream of a tortured child, or the thud of a drunkard's blow, does not beget sympathy and indignation among the neighbours, and then the whole machinery of justice is ever so close that a word of complaint can set it going, and there is but a step between the crime and the dock. But look at these lonely houses, each in its own fields, filled for the most part with poor ignorant folk who know little of the law. Think of the deeds of hellish cruelty, the hidden wickedness which may go on, year in, year out, in such places, and none the wiser."
 
2013-07-30 02:15:29 AM

Lsherm: I have three Facebook accounts, none of which I use regularly.  But it's all because when I set up my first one, while it was still limited to universities, the first friend request I got was from an ex-girlfriend.  At that point I was well past college and had a staff account.  She was well past college and was working at another university and had a staff account.  We had last dated a decade before, and I hadn't heard from her since.  It was all new, so I added her as a "friend" even though I don't think that's what they were called right after it launched.

Prior to Facebook becoming what it was, I had work friends and her, and she was not a good Facebook friend.  We had friends in common, but she found out I was single and showed up in DC from South Dakota during a happy hour for work and spent an uncomfortable night trying to start something up again.

Facebook is better these days because people realize what it's for, but that freaked me out.  Back in the day (let's call it early 90's) you didn't have a woman tracking you down after 10 years of no communication.  There was a reason we stopped communicating.  In 2004-2005, suddenly that was easy to try out.

Now that I have the etiquette down, I just don't respond to friend requests on Facebook.  I'm 45.  I know who I want to talk to.  Anyone who is still asking is just asking because Facebook is recommending it.

/yeah, yeah, off my lawn.


You know how I know you're a real Facebooker?

/You're an amateur with lawns, I've been getting kids off my lawn for YEARS.
 
2013-07-30 02:54:23 AM
I still have no clue what the media thinks a f*cking "Millennial" is supposed to be. Are they the children of Gen X, currently in high school and college?

The children of the Babyboomers were already assigned the title of Echoboomers (now in our mid 20s to mid 30s), because of the secondary population explosion we're expected to create.
 
2013-07-30 05:33:40 AM

HotWingAgenda: The children of the Babyboomers were already assigned the title of Echoboomers (now in our mid 20s to mid 30s), because of the secondary population explosion we're expected to create.


Echoboomer is the less popular way to express Millenials and Gen Y (which are all the same thing). I think the kids that are in middle and high school now (born in late 90s and beyond) are something different.

/born in 89
 
2013-07-30 05:34:05 AM
So what does it mean if you have a facebook but never use it.

One study said you are a sociopath, but my therapist thinks I am alright.
 
2013-07-30 05:36:03 AM
Tell me all about it, I boinked some chick in college and she's still after me, decades later.

\\\\ I am not THAT good.

\\\ All Farkettes disregard previous statement as false modesty.
 
2013-07-30 05:40:44 AM

ThatGuyGreg: No, assholes, you just have no self-control.


Seriously.  Just unfriend and block your exes if for some masochistic reason you're unable to stop checking their profile every day.  It's not as if there is an exit survey you have to take when you unfriend someone.
 
2013-07-30 05:46:56 AM
The f*ck's an "engagement photo?"
 
2013-07-30 05:47:31 AM
Maybe if you treated your relationships with more respect then a happy meal you wouldn't have to deal with the aftermath as often.

/this is the very definition of first world problems
 
2013-07-30 05:47:58 AM
for example,
i42.tinypic.com
Here's my ex's (second) wedding picture at the abandoned ski area where, when we were married, she banged everyone nearby while I was skiing, the whore.

Just to clarify: She had her wedding pics at a then-and-now abandoned ski area where once she let *everybody* schuss the slopes.

/The whore.
//Faces changed to protect the guilty.
///At least she was realistic enough not to wear white.
////I keep wanting to drop her hubby a line and tell him that, but whatev.
 
2013-07-30 05:52:34 AM
Meh. Back when most people lived in small villages, you couldn't really get away from your exes either. You were both probably going to live within a few miles of each other your entire lives. Somehow people managed. Something about being a mature adult.

If you think you're part of something new, it just means you're ignorant of history.
 
2013-07-30 05:59:40 AM
This is specifically why I don't have a Facebook account. I also don't want anyone checking up on me other than the NSA (because if I have nothing to hide, I have nothing to worry about).
 
2013-07-30 06:00:13 AM

derpy: for example,
[i42.tinypic.com image 604x401]
Here's my ex's (second) wedding picture at the abandoned ski area where, when we were married, she banged everyone nearby while I was skiing, the whore.

Just to clarify: She had her wedding pics at a then-and-now abandoned ski area where once she let *everybody* schuss the slopes.

/The whore.
//Faces changed to protect the guilty.
///At least she was realistic enough not to wear white.
////I keep wanting to drop her hubby a line and tell him that, but whatev.


cdn.head-fi.org
 
2013-07-30 06:04:37 AM
I stay pretty far away from FB because of foster care kids, and their bio-parents.  After one or two went home, and told the parents how they spent time not getting the crap beaten out of them as punishment, the parents would try to track us down with promises to get even.  Even after reporting it and following protocol, I just decided that my friends would just have to keep up with me in person and on the phone.

But, yeah the checking up and in on exes is creepy and pathetic.
 
2013-07-30 06:04:54 AM
The internet ruins lives, it destroys snowflakes feelings, it crushes the little farktards dreams.
Who cares? Certainly not anyone within a five inch orbit of my gruesome psyche. Let them eat pain.
What does get my tethered goat angry is the snowflake wannabes, the 'snowfakes'. They look all imbalanced and derpy just the same as all the other young adults, they wear the same demented fashion from Target or Louis Vuitton, they drive the same refrigerated cars with ipods inside, they have the same degrees, the same moms, the same dead wet eyes. But inside they're completely well-balanced and rational, completely emotionally stable and shockingly sane.
Horrific.
 
2013-07-30 06:05:45 AM
Actually there is a lot of truth to this. People just don't drop out of your life forever these days. It makes moving on much harder. I'm sure people will adapt though eventually.
 
2013-07-30 06:11:24 AM
I have 3 or 4 accounts or "personas" I use to communicate at different websites that involve different topics. I don't use anything that can come back to me. Anything that I want known about me I make sure is able to be found. I was born in the mid-80s and a technology guy so I was always aware of the possibilities of stupid shiat to come back to you. Either no one has realized this yet or shame has pretty much disappeared. I'm thinking the latter.
 
2013-07-30 06:15:38 AM
Another way social networking has changed relationships is that there's no such thing as a blind date anymore.  According to a recent survey of men (but probably also applies to women as well) 4 out of 5 people pre-stalk someone online before a first date.

41% check someone's Facebook profile before a date.

8% check other social media sites like LinkedIn and Twitter.

6% do a Google search for the other person.

And 21% do all of the above.
 
2013-07-30 06:17:16 AM
I don't care enough to stalk ex-bfs. We're not together for a reason, and it's best to keep it that way. This is also why everything on my Fb is private. I want to be friends with them, in real life or otherwise and i don't want them "liking" my posts or randomly poking me. Leave me alone and go about living...or not living, i don't care.

I tried being friends on fb with an ex and all of the above happened. I blocked him when it started getting weird (this after he got married.)
 
2013-07-30 06:20:45 AM
Haven't had any Ex's friend me on FB. I have though, had some casual friends that I haven't seen or talked too in 20+ years do it. Kinda weird seeing these girls we used to get farked up with and have occasional, drunken sex with on FB being all Jesus-y  Always wonder if their current husbands know what whores they were in their 20's.
 
2013-07-30 06:23:06 AM

derpy: for example,
[i42.tinypic.com image 604x401]
Here's my ex's (second) wedding picture at the abandoned ski area where, when we were married, she banged everyone nearby while I was skiing, the whore.

Just to clarify: She had her wedding pics at a then-and-now abandoned ski area where once she let *everybody* schuss the slopes.

/The whore.
//Faces changed to protect the guilty.
///At least she was realistic enough not to wear white.
////I keep wanting to drop her hubby a line and tell him that, but whatev.


My Margie?!?!? Why MARGIE!!???!  WHY!?!?!?

j/k

CSB

Sorry about her being a piece of work.
 
2013-07-30 06:29:07 AM
I scoff at exes who can't get along or leave each other alone. I adore my ex-wife. When our marriage fell apart there was plenty of anger and shouting in the last days, as to be expected in that situation. but then we just sat down and were like, "This isn't working, huh?"

We went to separate houses, split custody with my daughter, and are now somehow the bestest of friends. Getting divorced was the best decision we ever made. Like, we still sometimes hang out and play video games , watch movies, and go shopping. Which just baffles her new husband to no end.
 
2013-07-30 06:32:05 AM
Jesus Christ, the people who do this weren't healthy to begin with. Still friends with several exes, I'm happy for all of them. Mainly cause I won.
 
2013-07-30 06:37:37 AM

bingethinker: Meh. Back when most people lived in small villages, you couldn't really get away from your exes either. You were both probably going to live within a few miles of each other your entire lives. Somehow people managed. Something about being a mature adult.

If you think you're part of something new, it just means you're ignorant of history.


Well except:
1. In villages historically there were no male/female relationships outside close blood relatives and marriage.  All others tightly controlled by society.  There was real danger in any kind of physical or emotional relationship outside these bounds.
2. Ending a marriage usually involved one of the two parties getting dead.  Either naturally or otherwise.

I think it will definitely change things for the better however.  Perhaps people can learn to get along.
 
2013-07-30 06:41:06 AM

Lsherm: Prior to Facebook becoming what it was, I had work friends and her, and she was not a good Facebook friend.  We had friends in common, but she found out I was single and showed up in DC from South Dakota during a happy hour for work and spent an uncomfortable night trying to start something up again.


Holy shiat, do women really get that desperate as they approach "a certain age?"  Or was it just that SD is a sausage-fest?
 
2013-07-30 06:48:23 AM
Yet another great reason I closed my real Facebook account years ago.  What a glorious waste of time.

/Unless your trolling for booty - then you use fake profiles!
 
2013-07-30 06:51:19 AM
Attention whores book face, that is all.
 
2013-07-30 06:55:19 AM
I know that feel. Had a friend sundenly throw me out of her life. The hardest part was to break out of the habit of checking her wall and group pages first.
 
2013-07-30 06:56:02 AM
I never liked the term "Generation X"... I think "Blank Generation" was more appropriate.


/"We've got no wars to name us..."
 
2013-07-30 06:59:03 AM
Grrrr!  'Breakup' is NOT a verb!  Bad, bad headline writer!  Go to bed without your supper.

Don't believe me?  Try conjugating 'breakup' in the past tense.  G'head.  I'll wait.
 
2013-07-30 07:02:10 AM

vossiewulf: Excellent plan, as long as the plan's overt goal is to be depressed.


That, or you can just remind yourself of all the things you did to that guy's wife, be content in that, and go make yourself a cup of coffee.
 
2013-07-30 07:02:54 AM

Type random string here: Grrrr!  'Breakup' is NOT a verb!  Bad, bad headline writer!  Go to bed without your supper.

Don't believe me?  Try conjugating 'breakup' in the past tense.  G'head.  I'll wait.


Brokeup.
 
2013-07-30 07:09:00 AM

derpy: for example,
[i42.tinypic.com image 604x401]
Here's my ex's (second) wedding picture at the abandoned ski area where, when we were married, she banged everyone nearby while I was skiing, the whore.

Just to clarify: She had her wedding pics at a then-and-now abandoned ski area where once she let *everybody* schuss the slopes.

/The whore.
//Faces changed to protect the guilty.
///At least she was realistic enough not to wear white.
////I keep wanting to drop her hubby a line and tell him that, but whatev.


Wow, you suck that bad? That's epic levels of suck.
 
2013-07-30 07:10:29 AM
s21.postimg.org
 
2013-07-30 07:15:54 AM
I found a girl I used to date when I was stationed in Alabama. She was a former beauty queen. Now she is just a former beauty. Time has not been kind to her at all, it has really kicked her ass. I should have left that one alone and remembered her as she was.
 
2013-07-30 07:16:00 AM

Somacandra: Not really. I know (the big ex) she's married and has a child. I sent her an FB message wishing her well as a new parent (she graciously responded and thanked me), but I never friended her and she can't read my stuff. I have two other previous lovers as FB friends and everything is cool. Of course I'm more a Gen X'er and not a Millennial, but there it is.


I will admit that I sent one of my exes a message years after we broke up. Though this was a message of condolance after I heard that her brother had died. That sort of thing doesn't count, I think.
 
2013-07-30 07:16:43 AM
One of my exes dropped a  ton of weight.  She looks amazing.   It's a good thing I rarely log in to it anymore; it's not healthy to dwell on such things.

/Married man.
 
2013-07-30 07:17:02 AM

Type random string here: Grrrr!  'Breakup' is NOT a verb!  Bad, bad headline writer!  Go to bed without your supper.

Don't believe me?  Try conjugating 'breakup' in the past tense.  G'head.  I'll wait.

Break up
Are breaking up
Broke up
were breaking up
have broken up
have been breaking up....

Here...
noun: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/breakup
verb: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/break%20up
and conjugate as in break:  http://www.the-conjugation.com/english/verb/break.php
 
2013-07-30 07:18:28 AM
The Ex and I broke up about 5 years ago and had not spoken in nearly 3 years. About 6 months ago, he sent me a message on FB (where we are NOT friends). This message consisted of a picture of his two little girls and the words "thought you should know what you're missing."

Apparently being 28 and having no kids meant I was going to die alone or something. It took everything in me to not forward the message to his now-wife.

/csg
//creepy story girl
///I got nothing to add here.
 
2013-07-30 07:21:46 AM

thorsmistress: The Ex and I broke up about 5 years ago and had not spoken in nearly 3 years. About 6 months ago, he sent me a message on FB (where we are NOT friends). This message consisted of a picture of his two little girls and the words "thought you should know what you're missing."

Apparently being 28 and having no kids meant I was going to die alone or something. It took everything in me to not forward the message to his now-wife.

/csg
//creepy story girl
///I got nothing to add here.


DOOO EEEIT!


/not entirely serious about that
//but not entirely not serious
 
2013-07-30 07:22:01 AM

thorsmistress: The Ex and I broke up about 5 years ago and had not spoken in nearly 3 years. About 6 months ago, he sent me a message on FB (where we are NOT friends). This message consisted of a picture of his two little girls and the words "thought you should know what you're missing."

Apparently being 28 and having no kids meant I was going to die alone or something. It took everything in me to not forward the message to his now-wife.

/csg
//creepy story girl
///I got nothing to add here.


So, are you alone?
 
2013-07-30 07:23:10 AM

thorsmistress: The Ex and I broke up about 5 years ago and had not spoken in nearly 3 years. About 6 months ago, he sent me a message on FB (where we are NOT friends). This message consisted of a picture of his two little girls and the words "thought you should know what you're missing."

Apparently being 28 and having no kids meant I was going to die alone or something. It took everything in me to not forward the message to his now-wife.

/csg
//creepy story girl
///I got nothing to add here.


In retaliation you should forward him pictures of you having sex with lots of different guys. That will show him.

Seriously, though, you should have sent that to his wife. He tried to ruin your day/week/month, so turnabout is fair play.
 
2013-07-30 07:32:27 AM

thorsmistress: The Ex and I broke up about 5 years ago and had not spoken in nearly 3 years. About 6 months ago, he sent me a message on FB (where we are NOT friends). This message consisted of a picture of his two little girls and the words "thought you should know what you're missing."

Apparently being 28 and having no kids meant I was going to die alone or something. It took everything in me to not forward the message to his now-wife.

/csg
//creepy story girl
///I got nothing to add here.


He's got issues, you dodged a bullet.
Sometimes it's harder to do nothing but in this case you did right by not taking his bait.
 
2013-07-30 07:32:52 AM

thorsmistress: The Ex and I broke up about 5 years ago and had not spoken in nearly 3 years. About 6 months ago, he sent me a message on FB (where we are NOT friends). This message consisted of a picture of his two little girls and the words "thought you should know what you're missing."

Apparently being 28 and having no kids meant I was going to die alone or something. It took everything in me to not forward the message to his now-wife.

/csg
//creepy story girl
///I got nothing to add here.


How you doing?
 
2013-07-30 07:33:57 AM

HaywoodJablonski: thorsmistress: The Ex and I broke up about 5 years ago and had not spoken in nearly 3 years. About 6 months ago, he sent me a message on FB (where we are NOT friends). This message consisted of a picture of his two little girls and the words "thought you should know what you're missing."

Apparently being 28 and having no kids meant I was going to die alone or something. It took everything in me to not forward the message to his now-wife.

/csg
//creepy story girl
///I got nothing to add here.

In retaliation you should forward him pictures of you having sex with lots of different guys. That will show him.

Seriously, though, you should have sent that to his wife. He tried to ruin your day/week/month, so turnabout is fair play.


Ah yes, get back at the asshole by being an asshole. That attitude has done wonders for humanity.
 
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