If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Washington Post)   You might want to sit down for this, but it appears as though Steve King based his comments about valedictorians and drug smugglers less on "fact" and more on "random bullshiat I pulled out of my ass"   (washingtonpost.com) divider line 88
    More: Obvious, drug traffickers, cantaloupes, Congressional Record, smugglers, Guatemalans, good moral character  
•       •       •

2214 clicks; posted to Politics » on 29 Jul 2013 at 11:19 AM (49 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



88 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-07-29 10:05:23 AM
Steve Kings cantaloupes and Louie Gomerts asparagus. Are republicans turning vegetarian?
 
2013-07-29 10:17:13 AM
"Your ass" may not be the most factually reliable source, but its availability and convenience are pretty much impossible to beat.  Can you blame him for, you know, not putting any effort into it?  It isn't like we pay this guy to work on policy or anything.
 
2013-07-29 10:34:06 AM

shanrick: Steve Kings cantaloupes and Louie Gomerts asparagus. Are republicans turning vegetarian?


Don't be too hasty.  Look at the backlash against Obama for liking broccoli.
 
2013-07-29 10:35:32 AM
If there's one defining theme in modern GOP politics it is "What I believe in my heart to be true IS true, even if your facts dispute my beliefs."
 
2013-07-29 10:39:28 AM

Mr. Coffee Nerves: If there's one defining theme in modern GOP politics it is "What I believe in my heart to be true IS true, even if your facts dispute my beliefs."


That's a rather gracious way of describing lying.
 
2013-07-29 10:44:07 AM
Sweat glistened on Ricardo's taut stomach as he skimmed the pool. When he bent down to check the chlorine, he took my breath away. His canteloupian calves flexed as he rose up to stack the towels. I loved his black hair, his chocolate eyes, the whispy peach fuzz trail from his navel down to the bulge in his shorts. What treasure awaited between those caramel thighs?
 
2013-07-29 10:44:54 AM

vernonFL: Sweat glistened on Ricardo's taut stomach as he skimmed the pool. When he bent down to check the chlorine, he took my breath away. His canteloupian calves flexed as he rose up to stack the towels. I loved his black hair, his chocolate eyes, the whispy peach fuzz trail from his navel down to the bulge in his shorts. What treasure awaited between those caramel thighs?


Go on...
 
2013-07-29 11:04:37 AM
Why is everybody dumping on King? Is it because of the illegal's small calves? They're the hardest place to add mass!
 
2013-07-29 11:20:38 AM
Maybe he should stop and let Richard Bachman take over.
 
2013-07-29 11:21:00 AM

Diogenes: shanrick: Steve Kings cantaloupes and Louie Gomerts asparagus. Are republicans turning vegetarian?

Don't be too hasty.  Look at the backlash against Obama for liking broccoli.


yes, but do you remember Terry Schrivo? Let's face it, Republicans have a strange thing for vegetables
 
2013-07-29 11:21:06 AM

Diogenes: vernonFL: Sweat glistened on Ricardo's taut stomach as he skimmed the pool. When he bent down to check the chlorine, he took my breath away. His canteloupian calves flexed as he rose up to stack the towels. I loved his black hair, his chocolate eyes, the whispy peach fuzz trail from his navel down to the bulge in his shorts. What treasure awaited between those caramel thighs?

Go on...


"I can't do this. I'm a Republican senator."

"Mi corazon, do not worry. Ricardo is very discreet. Now, open your mouth for papi. Good girl."
 
2013-07-29 11:22:26 AM
Duh!
 
2013-07-29 11:24:08 AM
But at least Republicans are privately telling Steve King they agree with him. That pretty much guarantees success for the Republican outreach plan!
 
2013-07-29 11:24:22 AM

Diogenes: vernonFL: Sweat glistened on Ricardo's taut stomach as he skimmed the pool. When he bent down to check the chlorine, he took my breath away. His canteloupian calves flexed as he rose up to stack the towels. I loved his black hair, his chocolate eyes, the whispy peach fuzz trail from his navel down to the bulge in his shorts. What treasure awaited between those caramel thighs?

Go on...


I believe you mean: "Proceed."
 
2013-07-29 11:26:04 AM

djRykoSuave: Diogenes: vernonFL: Sweat glistened on Ricardo's taut stomach as he skimmed the pool. When he bent down to check the chlorine, he took my breath away. His canteloupian calves flexed as he rose up to stack the towels. I loved his black hair, his chocolate eyes, the whispy peach fuzz trail from his navel down to the bulge in his shorts. What treasure awaited between those caramel thighs?

Go on...

I believe you mean: "Please Proceed."


FTFY
 
2013-07-29 11:27:40 AM
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-07-29 11:28:20 AM

Serious Black: But at least Republicans are privately telling Steve King they agree with him. That pretty much guarantees success for the Republican outreach plan!


Lindsey Graham will say anything if you're tongue deep inside his power bottom ass. Everyone on capital hill knows that.
 
2013-07-29 11:28:22 AM
files.myopera.com
 
2013-07-29 11:28:44 AM
He's a writer of fiction.....hauling things out of your ass is what you do for a living.  And considering his success that anus can be considered something akin to Route 95.
 
2013-07-29 11:30:59 AM
As a Republican, I make a serious effort to reach out to Hispanics on a regular basis.  Just yesterday, I gave the busboy at Chi-Chi's a generous tip.
 
2013-07-29 11:31:00 AM

somedude210: yes, but do you remember Terry Schrivo?


Of course I do!  Which makes me wonder about the size and shape of Mel Martinez's calves.  Or was he "one of the good ones?"
 
2013-07-29 11:31:08 AM

Obama's Reptiloid Master: Serious Black: But at least Republicans are privately telling Steve King they agree with him. That pretty much guarantees success for the Republican outreach plan!

Lindsey Graham will say anything if you're tongue deep inside his power bottom ass. Everyone on capital hill knows that.


Eew...who would willingly jam their tongue inside his rectum?

/what's the difference between peanut butter and jam?
 
2013-07-29 11:34:19 AM
When did the GOP let facts get in the way of a good rant?
 
2013-07-29 11:34:30 AM

Mr. Coffee Nerves: If there's one defining theme in modern GOP politics it is "What I believe in my heart to be true IS true, even if your facts dispute my beliefs."


Ronald Reagan on the Iran/Contra FUBAR.
 
2013-07-29 11:35:46 AM

Diogenes: Mr. Coffee Nerves: If there's one defining theme in modern GOP politics it is "What I believe in my heart to be true IS true, even if your facts dispute my beliefs."

That's a rather gracious way of describing lying.


"It's not a lie if you believe it." -George Costanza
 
2013-07-29 11:36:00 AM

Rapmaster2000: As a Republican, I make a serious effort to reach out to Hispanics on a regular basis.  Just yesterday, I gave the busboy at Chi-Chi's a generous tip.


Hope you checked his immigration status first...
 
2013-07-29 11:36:11 AM
He's just speaking for republicans.
 
2013-07-29 11:36:36 AM
We are onto your evil plan Mexicans! As illegals cross the border carrying large loads of marihuana over several kilometers, they get stronger and stronger. And as more Americans smoke that pot, they get get weaker, lazier and fatter. Soon Americans won't be able to put up a fight against the army of muscular Mexicans who will take over their country. This leads me to the conclusion that Mexicans are really crab people.
 
2013-07-29 11:37:59 AM
3. cantaloupe
A sexy game (usually in public restrooms) involving 2 lesbians, a straight girl, tennis racquets, and Listerine.


-- The Urban Dictionary
 
2013-07-29 11:38:06 AM
Nonsense.  His figures are backed by a comprehensive anecdotal study conducted by the brain trust at Open Racist Quarterly.
 
2013-07-29 11:40:19 AM

Diogenes: Mr. Coffee Nerves: If there's one defining theme in modern GOP politics it is "What I believe in my heart to be true IS true, even if your facts dispute my beliefs."

That's a rather gracious way of describing lying.


No, I think the modern republican party has gone beyond typical politician lying, to the point where they've created a mold of lies that their own leaders must fit.   They have to know the lies are true; they have to prove the lies are true;  they must become the lies.  You see it with Romney and believing unskewed polls; you saw it with Bush and his policy of "creating our own reality";  you see it with Steve King and his perceptions of immigrants.
 
2013-07-29 11:42:19 AM

imontheinternet: Nonsense.  His figures are backed by a comprehensive anecdotal study conducted by the brain trust at Open Racist Quarterly.


Was that one of Romney's six studies?
 
2013-07-29 11:42:34 AM
100 valedictorions in a class? 10% in another? What?
 
2013-07-29 11:44:09 AM

Skarekrough: He's a writer of fiction.....hauling things out of your ass is what you do for a living.  And considering his success that anus can be considered something akin to Route 95.


There are two guys named Steven King.  One makes up tales of horror creeping into your own backyard from beyond.

The other wrote Carrie.
 
2013-07-29 11:53:15 AM
Considering how schools are handing out valedictorian titles like Oprah handing out gifts, that's a lot of cantaloupes.

Then again, that can be generalized as "for every decent human being, there are 100 assholes who get the same rights."

Peter King is in that 99.009%.
 
2013-07-29 11:54:08 AM
One of our intrepid Photoshoppers should work up a couple images of these 'cantaloupe calved' individuals and send them along to King as evidence. See how long it takes for the pics to show up on the Sunday talk show circuit or in Freeperland.
 
2013-07-29 11:54:53 AM
The fact that King lied is no surprise at all to me.  However this FTA made me very sad.

"King, incidentally, is wrong in saying that "you only get one valedictorian per class per year." There's actually a trend now in awarding many students with the coveted title, withmore than 100 at some schools or eventen % of the class."

This whole "every child is a special snowflake" shiat is totally out of hand.
 
2013-07-29 11:56:31 AM

Skarekrough: He's a writer of fiction.....hauling things out of your ass is what you do for a living.  And considering his success that anus can be considered something akin to Route 95.


2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-07-29 11:56:47 AM

Skarekrough: He's a writer of fiction.....hauling things out of your ass is what you do for a living.  And considering his success that anus can be considered something akin to Route 95.



notsureifserious.jpg
 
2013-07-29 11:57:28 AM

Dr. Whoof: Skarekrough: He's a writer of fiction.....hauling things out of your ass is what you do for a living.  And considering his success that anus can be considered something akin to Route 95.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 320x143]


yes, ^^ that one.  thanks!
 
2013-07-29 11:58:51 AM
The new GOP motto : Not Intended to be a factual statement.
 
2013-07-29 11:59:31 AM
Greatest simulpost ever.
 
2013-07-29 12:02:00 PM

dragonfire77: imontheinternet: Nonsense.  His figures are backed by a comprehensive anecdotal study conducted by the brain trust at Open Racist Quarterly.

Was that one of Romney's six studies?


Probably so.  It's a very reputable place.  Their thought experiments are internally peer reviewed.
 
2013-07-29 12:04:53 PM

imontheinternet: dragonfire77: imontheinternet: Nonsense.  His figures are backed by a comprehensive anecdotal study conducted by the brain trust at Open Racist Quarterly.

Was that one of Romney's six studies?

Probably so.  It's a very reputable place.  Their thought experiments are internally peer reviewed.


I assume that by 'internally' you mean King got a proctologist to proofread it?
 
2013-07-29 12:08:56 PM

Vlad_the_Inaner: Skarekrough: He's a writer of fiction.....hauling things out of your ass is what you do for a living.  And considering his success that anus can be considered something akin to Route 95.

There are two guys named Steven King.  One makes up tales of horror creeping into your own backyard from beyond.

The other wrote Carrie.


Ha!

This is what happens when I'm plowing through Kindle and trying to read Fark at the same time.

My apologies.  The article didn't get read.  But I DID manage to reserve a copy of Salem's Lot from my local library.

Sorry about that all....
 
2013-07-29 12:10:38 PM

Satan's Bunny Slippers: The fact that King lied is no surprise at all to me.  However this FTA made me very sad.

"King, incidentally, is wrong in saying that "you only get one valedictorian per class per year." There's actually a trend now in awarding many students with the coveted title, withmore than 100 at some schools or eventen % of the class."

This whole "every child is a special snowflake" shiat is totally out of hand.


They all need to do what my college does and just ditch it being 100% academic score and draw in other aspects of student life and have a faculty and student committee choose one.

The problem I had in my high school is that it was TOO competitive.  There were multiple straight A students and ties were being broken by things like when health/pe was taken (since it was the only required non-weighted non-advanced class), and if you chose to do an artistic elective without that weighting, you were kissing your chance at valedictorian goodbye.
 
2013-07-29 12:11:17 PM

Karac: imontheinternet: dragonfire77: imontheinternet: Nonsense.  His figures are backed by a comprehensive anecdotal study conducted by the brain trust at Open Racist Quarterly.

Was that one of Romney's six studies?

Probably so.  It's a very reputable place.  Their thought experiments are internally peer reviewed.

I assume that by 'internally' you mean King got a proctologist to proofread it?


cinemalone.files.wordpress.com

See kids?  This is where these studies come from.  Just imagine this is the politician, and my hand is the research team....
 
2013-07-29 12:12:12 PM

Karac: imontheinternet: dragonfire77: imontheinternet: Nonsense.  His figures are backed by a comprehensive anecdotal study conducted by the brain trust at Open Racist Quarterly.

Was that one of Romney's six studies?

Probably so.  It's a very reputable place.  Their thought experiments are internally peer reviewed.

I assume that by 'internally' you mean King got a proctologist to proofread it?


King sticks his head up his ass and describes what he sees, while the other derpers nod and grunt.
 
2013-07-29 12:13:31 PM

Skarekrough: He's a writer of fiction.....hauling things out of your ass is what you do for a living.  And considering his success that anus can be considered something akin to Route 95.


Dude. Did you really just confuse successful novelist and self identified liberal Stephen King with US Congressman and self identified Tea Party conservative Steve King?
 
2013-07-29 12:13:58 PM
sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net
 
Displayed 50 of 88 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report