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(News.com.au)   Want to live to 100? Here's what you have to do: smoke cigarettes and drink booze, eat bananas and bacon. Disclaimer: these are the same things that will kill you   (news.com.au) divider line 37
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3933 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Jul 2013 at 6:30 AM (38 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



37 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-07-29 12:05:31 AM
Elvis? Is that you?
 
2013-07-29 01:14:44 AM
i1.ytimg.com


Dr. Melik: This morning for breakfast he requested something called "wheat germ, organic honey and tiger's milk."Dr. Aragon: [chuckling] Oh, yes. Those are the charmed substances that some years ago were thought to contain life-preserving properties.Dr. Melik: You mean there was no deep fat? No steak or cream pies or... hot fudge?Dr. Aragon: Those were thought to be unhealthy... precisely the opposite of what we now know to be true.Dr. Melik: Incredible.
 
2013-07-29 06:28:39 AM
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everybody drops to zero.
 
2013-07-29 06:33:27 AM

SurfaceTension: On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everybody drops to zero.


Life is a sexually transmitted disease that is 100% fatal. None of us get out of it alive.

On the other hand, survival to extreme old age is a complex topic. It's far more complicated than your diet and whether you smoke a lot, although these factors will help you to have a better chance to survive.

The good news is, on the other hand, that the rate of Dementia and Alzheimers is dropping exponentially as our society gets older.
 
2013-07-29 06:34:46 AM
Life farking kills you.  Eat what you like.  Drink what you like.  Fark whatever consenting adult you like.  If you die fat and happy at 53 or quietly in bed at 93, it is your life and your choice.  There is no point in being so damned afraid of every thing.
 
2013-07-29 06:37:53 AM

gadian: If you die fat and happy at 53 or quietly in bed at 93, it is your life and your choice.


The problem is that when you don't die, you have a miserable quality of life while you set in a bed dependant on others to take care of you.

Seriously. Living with the goal of burning out young and leaving a pretty corpse tends to end with you still alive and gorked on a feeding tube.
 
2013-07-29 06:41:03 AM
hardinparamedic:
Life is a sexually transmitted disease that is 100% fatal. None of us get out of it alive.


Really? Try telling that to David Blaine. Ever sen his birth certificate? Not likely to either, that guy was born before the invention of paper!!
Not all of us are slowly rotting meatbags full of internal conflict and pointlessness. Some of us have transcended time.
 
2013-07-29 06:45:55 AM

YoOjo: Really? Try telling that to David Blaine. Ever sen his birth certificate? Not likely to either, that guy was born before the invention of paper!!
Not all of us are slowly rotting meatbags full of internal conflict and pointlessness. Some of us have transcended time.


Oh God. It's a Blanetologist!

ASSEMBLE! SUPER BEST FRIENDS!

25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-07-29 06:46:21 AM

hardinparamedic: The problem is that when you don't die, you have a miserable quality of life while you set in a bed dependant on others to take care of you.

Seriously. Living with the goal of burning out young and leaving a pretty corpse tends to end with you still alive and gorked on a feeding tube.


Eh, pretty much everyone needs 'round the clock care in their final days, feeding tube and all.  I'm just saying live the lifestyle that you enjoy and gain satisfaction from and care less about what the lists say because the lists are just going to change next week.
 
2013-07-29 06:46:53 AM

hardinparamedic: On the other hand, survival to extreme old age is a complex topic. It's far more complicated than your diet and whether you smoke a lot, although these factors will help you to have a better chance to survive.


It's not really all that complex, it's just that non-scientists and even some scientists have a lot of trouble really emotionally grasping that something so personally important to them is relatively non-deterministic, and that when something "takes seven years off your life" you're shifting the median of a relatively broad statistical distribution, not removing a quantity from some definite remaining time which you spend and gain with 100% certainty.

The law of large numbers doesn't kick in on life expectancy within usual human perceptions until the actual number of people you know well enough to notice when they die has been exceeded by a couple factors of ten, probably.  So, yes, the number of deaths you're paying attention to is going to look "random", and life expectancy as a whole is relatively well-understood and follows relatively simple mathematics... and there is no contradiction between these two facts at all.
 
2013-07-29 06:47:45 AM

gadian: Eh, pretty much everyone needs 'round the clock care in their final days, feeding tube and all.  I'm just saying live the lifestyle that you enjoy and gain satisfaction from and care less about what the lists say because the lists are just going to change next week.


I'm just saying that before you invoke the fatalist view of life in living, consider the fact that death is not the only outcome, or the most likely anymore.

Also, for the love of FSM, make sure your wishes are documented and your family knows them.
 
2013-07-29 06:47:56 AM

gadian: Life farking kills you.  Eat what you like.  Drink what you like.  Fark whatever consenting adult you like.  If you die fat and happy at 53 or quietly in bed at 93, it is your life and your choice.  There is no point in being so damned afraid of every thing.


There is a happy balance between being a hypochondriac and a glutton. Lots of the things I love to do would be impossible if I were fat. And obesity brings with it a range of chronic health conditions that impair your quality of life long before you go.

Eat sensibly, find some hobbies that you love which involve moving around, and enjoy your life, cause hey, no matter how well you eat, you might get hit by a bus tomorrow.
 
2013-07-29 06:50:23 AM
done, and done. now where is my bacon sammich?
 
2013-07-29 07:07:45 AM
Worked for my great aunt Bo. Drank and smoked for 90 years. Wasnt a big fan of fruit though.

/miss ya Bo.
 
2013-07-29 07:16:18 AM
Why would anyone want to live to 100?
 
2013-07-29 07:17:17 AM
The Count, at 740+, says drink blood, bite peoples' necks, never marry anyone prettier than you, avoid morning wood, and wear lots of sun block, in fact, just sleep all day.

www.shadowlocked.com
 
2013-07-29 07:43:15 AM
This underground group has been pushing this particular philosophy for the past 20+ years
 
2013-07-29 07:55:42 AM
I'm 105 years old ("Old enough to have known Doris Day before she was a virgin"), so I'm getting a kick out of this thread.
 
2013-07-29 07:59:20 AM

Creoena: Why would anyone want to live to 100?


I have no idea. Apparently some people enjoy life as an old person, and want to be an old person for as long as possible, but I have no idea why they do.
 
2013-07-29 07:59:22 AM
tis probably the radiation in teh bananaz
 
2013-07-29 08:17:38 AM
That's why they are making smoking so difficult these days.
 
2013-07-29 08:27:02 AM
I really need to know first, are eggs good or are eggs bad?
 
2013-07-29 08:38:48 AM
Want to live to 100? Have parents or grandparents that did. That is your best indicator.
 
2013-07-29 08:40:50 AM
approves
waiteswebworld.com
 
2013-07-29 08:59:04 AM
My grandpa died on the operating room table because he drank too much scotch and ate too much bacon.  Also a bowl of ice cream every night for decades.

Of course, he was 94.
 
2013-07-29 09:07:14 AM

hardinparamedic: gadian: If you die fat and happy at 53 or quietly in bed at 93, it is your life and your choice.

The problem is that when you don't die, you have a miserable quality of life while you set in a bed dependant on others to take care of you.

Seriously. Living with the goal of burning out young and leaving a pretty corpse tends to end with you still alive and gorked on a feeding tube.


I have a coworker in her 50s with multiple ailments. The kind where she keeps going to doctors and they're like "try this". Sometimes she can barely walk (not sure if it's nerve stuff, pain or what) but it's not pretty. She's confessed to me that she used to bartend at high end places when she was younger and didn't take care of herself, and now she is paying for it.
 
2013-07-29 09:13:43 AM
My grandfather lived to 100, died in his sleep. He's the family model for "everything in moderation". Never ate to excess, drank in excess... he did have throat cancer when he was in his 60s, but survived that and didn't smoke much after (he enjoyed a pipe once in a while).
 
2013-07-29 09:41:56 AM

hardinparamedic: gadian: If you die fat and happy at 53 or quietly in bed at 93, it is your life and your choice.

The problem is that when you don't die, you have a miserable quality of life while you set in a bed dependant on others to take care of you.

Seriously. Living with the goal of burning out young and leaving a pretty corpse tends to end with you still alive and gorked on a feeding tube.


That's everyone else's fault, for clinging to those who are ready to let go.  It is the cruelest, most selfish thing that we do to our loved ones.
 
2013-07-29 09:43:42 AM

gadian: Life farking kills you.  Eat what you like.  Drink what you like.  Fark whatever consenting adult you like.  If you die fat and happy at 53 or quietly in bed at 93, it is your life and your choice.  There is no point in being so damned afraid of every thing.


THIS!! Why deny yourself yummy/fun things if they're what makes you happy. A longer life without the things you love isn't going to be very rewarding or enjoyable.

I fully expect to die of a heart attack sometime in my mid to late fifties, and I'm cool with that. Who wants to get all old and wrinkly and achy and forgetful anyhow. I'm already achy and forgetful, another 20 yrs is plenty for me
 
2013-07-29 09:46:17 AM
I'm not sure if I want to live to be 100 honestly.  Although I guess I just want to be someone who can still get around and be independent in old age.  My grandma is 87 and she's still got her garden, volunteers with all kinds of groups, and stays busy.  She's a hoarder too but pobody's nerfect.
 
2013-07-29 09:52:18 AM
Yes, yes,  Misao Okawa is the picture of health. She's probably a very sweet lady, but that has to be a miserable existence.
 
2013-07-29 10:31:53 AM

gadian: hardinparamedic: The problem is that when you don't die, you have a miserable quality of life while you set in a bed dependant on others to take care of you.

Seriously. Living with the goal of burning out young and leaving a pretty corpse tends to end with you still alive and gorked on a feeding tube.

Eh, pretty much everyone needs 'round the clock care in their final days, feeding tube and all.  I'm just saying live the lifestyle that you enjoy and gain satisfaction from and care less about what the lists say because the lists are just going to change next week.


Our you'll be like my grandfather who was healthy as a horse until Parkinson'shiat him. He's still alive at 85, but he's nowhere near the vital man he used to be, and he couldn't have done a damn thing different because it was a genetic time bomb waiting to go off.
 
2013-07-29 10:57:09 AM

Mad_Radhu: gadian: hardinparamedic: The problem is that when you don't die, you have a miserable quality of life while you set in a bed dependant on others to take care of you.

Seriously. Living with the goal of burning out young and leaving a pretty corpse tends to end with you still alive and gorked on a feeding tube.

Eh, pretty much everyone needs 'round the clock care in their final days, feeding tube and all.  I'm just saying live the lifestyle that you enjoy and gain satisfaction from and care less about what the lists say because the lists are just going to change next week.

Our you'll be like my grandfather who was healthy as a horse until Parkinson'shiat him. He's still alive at 85, but he's nowhere near the vital man he used to be, and he couldn't have done a damn thing different because it was a genetic time bomb waiting to go off.


I have a whole array of things in our family to look forward to: Heart disease, Alzheimers, Kidney failure, and diabetes... In addition to that I have a whole array of things in our family to look forward to: Heart disease, Alzheimers, Kidney failure, and diabetes.
 
2013-07-29 11:01:24 AM
Want to live to 100? Have good genes.
 
2013-07-29 11:01:55 AM
But cursing, smoking, and drinking are all why my neighbors claim I have the face of somebody half my age.

/yes, those things and not because of the chainsaw I've got hiding behind my back
//what? nothing!
 
2013-07-29 12:38:31 PM
Grammar police here. A person who lives to 100 is a centenarian. George Burns was in a lot of movies but I can't recall him ever playing a centurion.
 
2013-07-29 06:06:39 PM
I knew a guy in his 80s and anytime someone asked him what his secret to longevity was he said:

"I never smoked, drank alcohol, chased woman, cussed or did anything bad....
Until I was 12 years old."


.
 
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