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(STLToday)   If you live to be 95 and die at home, you win. If you die at the hospital after fighting the cops with a cane, shoehorn and butcher knife, you get on Fark, which is still kind of a win   (stltoday.com) divider line 138
    More: Strange, butcher knife, bean bags, Taser, canes, shoehorn  
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8171 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Jul 2013 at 12:12 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



138 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-07-28 12:14:54 AM  
Cops had to use a tazer!  No time to wait until he fell asleep in 10 minutes.  There are speed traps to get back to!
 
2013-07-28 12:17:18 AM  
I could have sworn tasers were originally meant to be used instead of shooting people, now they're used instead of talking to people
 
2013-07-28 12:18:55 AM  
The only thing that can stop a 95 year old man with a shoehorn is a 95 year old shoehorn with an old man.
 
2013-07-28 12:20:53 AM  
A shoehorn is a deadly weapon!
 
2013-07-28 12:21:24 AM  
Those poor patrolmen.

I hope the very best remediation assets are mustered, no expense spared, to assuage their damaged feelings.
 
2013-07-28 12:23:45 AM  
So our live long dream is to get on Fark?
 
2013-07-28 12:26:19 AM  
Man, when I'm 95, I want to be seen by the cops as that kind of threat.

"She was coming right at us with a shoehorn! We had no choice!"

I would die a happy, happy woman.
 
2013-07-28 12:26:58 AM  

you are a puppet: I could have sworn tasers were originally meant to be used instead of shooting people, now they're used instead of talking to people


Yes. They were originally only to be used when you WERE going to shoot someone; not as a compliance tool.
 
2013-07-28 12:27:41 AM  

Joliebleu: So our live long dream is to get on Fark?


I'd just like to get greenlit once. Feel like I have a better chance to be the subject of an article at this point.
 
2013-07-28 12:28:12 AM  
How is it that the more militarized the police become, the bigger pussies they are? I would think it would be embarrassing that you were defeated by a (95 year old man, 8 year old girl, sleeping elderly woman).
 
2013-07-28 12:28:59 AM  
What do you mean, you don't want to go to the hospital, old man? Here... Let me give you a reason to go! BZZZZAAAAPPPPP
 
2013-07-28 12:30:32 AM  
Cops killed (great)grandpa.  Way to instill trust in the police across a few generations at once.

God bless our courageous brave boys in blue.
 
2013-07-28 12:31:42 AM  

RepoManTSM: I'd just like to get greenlit once. Feel like I have a better chance to be the subject of an article at this point.


That is kinda sad. I mean really. A greenlit gets you nothing in the long run. So what does it matter? Nothing.
 
2013-07-28 12:31:58 AM  

Gyrfalcon: Man, when I'm 95, I want to be seen by the cops as that kind of threat.

"She was coming right at us with a shoehorn! We had no choice!"

I would die a happy, happy woman.


Replace "she" and "woman" with "he" and "old coot" and I have to say;
THIS!!!!!
 
2013-07-28 12:32:13 AM  
Tasering a 95 year old? Pussies.
 
2013-07-28 12:36:11 AM  
That's actually how I wanna go out!

Srsly, over 90, opinionated, fighting the machine. Can't really top that.
 
2013-07-28 12:38:41 AM  
The linked 'article' says that:  The Chicago Sun-Times reports the man became upset after an ambulance crew in Park Forest tried to take him to a medical facility.


Well for goodness sakes, if he doesn't want to go then he doesn't want to go.  If your patient is uncooperative or refuses treatment, you can't force them into an ambulance.  That's kidnapping.

Just leave, if that's what he wants.
 
2013-07-28 12:39:57 AM  

wildcardjack: That's actually how I wanna go out!

Srsly, over 90, opinionated, fighting the machine. Can't really top that.


On the downstroke.
 
2013-07-28 12:41:19 AM  
Meh, police have devolved into an armed gang of taxmen, but if some old coot pulls a knife on me I wouldn't try to wrestle with him ifin I had me a taser.

/he probably didn't pull a knife
 
2013-07-28 12:42:37 AM  
Subby, you got your headline from the Iliad:

"For my mother the goddess, silver-footed Thetis, telleth me that twofold fates are bearing me toward the doom of death: if I abide here and fight off the cops with a cane, then lost is my home-return, but my renown shall be imperishable on Fark.com; but if I stay in bed, lost then is my glorious Fark renown, yet shall my life long endure"
- Achilles (Iliad, 9.410-15)
 
2013-07-28 12:45:48 AM  

Johnny_Canuck: Tasering a 95 year old? Pussies.


this. i mean, really. just blow hard and grampa will fall over...giant farking pussies.
 
2013-07-28 12:50:35 AM  

Gyrfalcon: Man, when I'm 95, I want to be seen by the cops as that kind of threat.

"She was coming right at us with a shoehorn! We had no choice!"

I would die a happy, happy woman.


I like the way you think.
Lets go to Payless for some weaponry.
 
2013-07-28 12:53:58 AM  

lewismarktwo: Meh, police have devolved into an armed gang of taxmen, but if some old coot pulls a knife on me I wouldn't try to wrestle with him ifin I had me a taser.

/he probably didn't pull a knife


What you SHOULD do is LEAVE.  They had no reason to do anythign at all to the old dude.  He didn't want to go to the hospital.  Not wanting to go to the hospital is not a crime.  Forcing him to defend himself, then tasering him because he does so is not allowed.  Leave him the fark alone.
 
2013-07-28 12:55:22 AM  

Neighborhood Watch: The linked 'article' says that:  The Chicago Sun-Times reports the man became upset after an ambulance crew in Park Forest tried to take him to a medical facility.


Well for goodness sakes, if he doesn't want to go then he doesn't want to go.  If your patient is uncooperative or refuses treatment, you can't force them into an ambulance.  That's kidnapping.

Just leave, if that's what he wants.


I was wondering about that too so I went searching for more info.

Apparently he was a resident at a nursing home (or may have been more like assisted living), and the facility staff had called the ambulance to have him taken for treatment "involuntarily", and it says he was also threatening facility staff with the cane and (2 foot metal) shoehorn.  It's not clear from the article if the ambulance was called to take him because he was being combative, or if he became combative because of the ambulance (it doesn't say what they were having him taken for treatment of).
  However, I can see where the police couldn't just leave him there if he was threatening facility staff and he could have been a threat to other residents

"According to an e-mailed press release from Park Forest police, officers were sent to 101 Main Street in Park Forest about 8:42 p.m. to help a private ambulance company with a "combative" resident of the home there. The Victory Centre of Park Forest, a supportive living community for adults 65 and older according to its website, is at that address.
 The resident of the faculty was being "involuntarily" committed for medical treatment by staff at the Victory Centre, the release said."
 
2013-07-28 12:57:23 AM  

Emposter: lewismarktwo: Meh, police have devolved into an armed gang of taxmen, but if some old coot pulls a knife on me I wouldn't try to wrestle with him ifin I had me a taser.

/he probably didn't pull a knife

What you SHOULD do is LEAVE.  They had no reason to do anythign at all to the old dude.  He didn't want to go to the hospital.  Not wanting to go to the hospital is not a crime.  Forcing him to defend himself, then tasering him because he does so is not allowed.  Leave him the fark alone.


Pretty much this. What a shiatty way to go.
 
2013-07-28 12:57:30 AM  
It's better to burn out than to fade away. Hope I go out in a blaze of tabloid headlines.
 
2013-07-28 01:01:50 AM  

Emposter: He didn't want to go to the hospital.  Not wanting to go to the hospital is not a crime.


Something tells me you don't know as much as you think you know about the topic. FTFA, the Ambulance Crew on scene tried to take him to the hospital when he became violent with them. I'm willing to more than bet that if they were taking him against his will, he either had someone who was his POA directing him, or they felt he was not in his right mind.

Ambulance Crews are not in the habit of forcing people to go against their will. Those lawsuits get expensive, and they don't have the protection police have to involuntarily commit someone. The police tend to be hesitant to do it as well, since they're going to pay for the first 12-24 hours of an involuntary commitment and the medical care he receives as he's technically in custody for the hold.

However, at the point you grab a butcher knife and try to stab someone? Yeah. You stop being grandpa.

/I've seen 80 year old psych and dementia patients seriously mess up LPNs and CNAs.
 
2013-07-28 01:02:53 AM  
What everyone seems to ignore is that the guy grabbed a butcher knife. At that point you can't just tackle the guy like with a shoehorn and/or a cane as it's a blade. Yes a tazer and a beanbag were the reasonable options. It's that or having an extended standoff in the old's folks home which could be bad as they would have to evacuate it and a lot of them you can't have them walk out. Or shooting the person.
 
2013-07-28 01:03:23 AM  

Mambo Bananapatch: It's better to burn out than to fade away. Hope I go out in a blaze of tabloid headlines.


Planning on pulling a David Carradine, are you?

celebsview.info
 
2013-07-28 01:05:10 AM  

thatboyoverthere: What everyone seems to ignore is that the guy grabbed a butcher knife. At that point you can't just tackle the guy like with a shoehorn and/or a cane as it's a blade. Yes a tazer and a beanbag were the reasonable options. It's that or having an extended standoff in the old's folks home which could be bad as they would have to evacuate it and a lot of them you can't have them walk out. Or shooting the person.


My Sensei, ladies and gents, can we get a round of ... a few claps? Thank you madam!
 
2013-07-28 01:06:09 AM  

Joliebleu: RepoManTSM: I'd just like to get greenlit once. Feel like I have a better chance to be the subject of an article at this point.

That is kinda sad. I mean really. A greenlit gets you nothing in the long run. So what does it matter? Nothing.


It's its own reward.  Keep reaching for the stars, greenlight chaser man.
 
2013-07-28 01:06:33 AM  
I'm glad they included a stock photo of a taser with the article. Up until now I always thought it was a cross between a t-shirt and a blazer.
 
2013-07-28 01:07:26 AM  

BuckTurgidson: My Sensei, ladies and gents, can we get a round of ... a few claps? Thank you madam!


I honestly can't tell if you're serious or sarcastic.
 
2013-07-28 01:07:35 AM  

BuckTurgidson: thatboyoverthere: What everyone seems to ignore is that the guy grabbed a butcher knife. At that point you can't just tackle the guy like with a shoehorn and/or a cane as it's a blade. Yes a tazer and a beanbag were the reasonable options. It's that or having an extended standoff in the old's folks home which could be bad as they would have to evacuate it and a lot of them you can't have them walk out. Or shooting the person.

My Sensei, ladies and gents, can we get a round of ... a few claps? Thank you madam!


Really?  What kind of reflexes does a 95 year-old have?  I'd take a machete-wielding 95 year-old on any day with no body armor or weaponry.
 
2013-07-28 01:11:26 AM  

doyner: I'd take a machete-wielding 95 year-old on any day with no body armor or weaponry


Why weren't you there? You're the real monster here.
 
2013-07-28 01:13:55 AM  

hardinparamedic: doyner: I'd take a machete-wielding 95 year-old on any day with no body armor or weaponry

Why weren't you there? You're the real monster here.


Sorry.  I had to be at the gym in 16 minutes.
 
2013-07-28 01:14:39 AM  

doyner: BuckTurgidson: thatboyoverthere: What everyone seems to ignore is that the guy grabbed a butcher knife. At that point you can't just tackle the guy like with a shoehorn and/or a cane as it's a blade. Yes a tazer and a beanbag were the reasonable options. It's that or having an extended standoff in the old's folks home which could be bad as they would have to evacuate it and a lot of them you can't have them walk out. Or shooting the person.

My Sensei, ladies and gents, can we get a round of ... a few claps? Thank you madam!

Really?  What kind of reflexes does a 95 year-old have?  I'd take a machete-wielding 95 year-old on any day with no body armor or weaponry.


The real threat is that there would be a scuffle and now you're trying to get an angry 95 year old in handcuffs and there is a butcher knife who knows where. It's rather easy to cut a tendon or a major blood vesicle.
 
2013-07-28 01:15:35 AM  
Thank god he didn't have a walker or wheelchair! He probably would have had a true weapon platform then and posed a greater threat to the public!
 
2013-07-28 01:20:02 AM  

doyner: hardinparamedic: doyner: I'd take a machete-wielding 95 year-old on any day with no body armor or weaponry

Why weren't you there? You're the real monster here.

Sorry.  I had to be at the gym in 16 minutes.


LIAR! I know you went back in time to rape and murder a girl in 1990!

I'M ON TO YOU!

disinfo.s3.amazonaws.com
 
2013-07-28 01:20:06 AM  

RepoManTSM: Joliebleu: So our live long dream is to get on Fark?

I'd just like to get greenlit once. Feel like I have a better chance to be the subject of an article at this point.


I've been here nine years and I've got 15 greenlights to my name, which proves that the mod gods either have very good taste or very poor taste, I haven't yet decided which.  Either way, I feel your pain.
 
2013-07-28 01:23:50 AM  
I just want to say everytime I see a St. Louis article I'm proud to be from stl.

/moved to colorado
//happy to be here
///not going back
 
2013-07-28 01:26:00 AM  

thatboyoverthere: doyner: BuckTurgidson: thatboyoverthere: What everyone seems to ignore is that the guy grabbed a butcher knife. At that point you can't just tackle the guy like with a shoehorn and/or a cane as it's a blade. Yes a tazer and a beanbag were the reasonable options. It's that or having an extended standoff in the old's folks home which could be bad as they would have to evacuate it and a lot of them you can't have them walk out. Or shooting the person.

My Sensei, ladies and gents, can we get a round of ... a few claps? Thank you madam!

Really?  What kind of reflexes does a 95 year-old have?  I'd take a machete-wielding 95 year-old on any day with no body armor or weaponry.

The real threat is that there would be a scuffle and now you're trying to get an angry 95 year old in handcuffs and there is a butcher knife who knows where. It's rather easy to cut a tendon or a major blood vesicle.


Then approach your superior officer and request to be excused from the duties you signed up for, Offficer CandyPants.
 
2013-07-28 01:26:50 AM  
I talked to a 95 y/o guy yesterday, told him I hope to look as good at 65 as he does at 95.  He was spry enough to possibly survive a high velocity bean bag to the chest.  Most 95 year olds aren't, unfortunately.
 
2013-07-28 01:27:35 AM  

hardinparamedic: Something tells me you don't know as much as you think you know about the topic.


Like that matters in a Fark cop thread.
 
2013-07-28 01:31:06 AM  
weknowmemes.com
 
2013-07-28 01:34:11 AM  

Smirky the Wonder Chimp: RepoManTSM: Joliebleu: So our live long dream is to get on Fark?

I'd just like to get greenlit once. Feel like I have a better chance to be the subject of an article at this point.

I've been here nine years and I've got 15 greenlights to my name, which proves that the mod gods either have very good taste or very poor taste, I haven't yet decided which.  Either way, I feel your pain.


I've been here three years and have only one greenlight. One time they greenlit a second one but then redlit it again once I had already invited the neighbours over to celebrate. Awkward times followed.
 
2013-07-28 01:36:57 AM  
I suspect the state is going to be very interested in why a nursing home doesn't know how to deal with an uncooperative 95 year old.
 
2013-07-28 01:37:34 AM  

CruiserTwelve: hardinparamedic: Something tells me you don't know as much as you think you know about the topic.

Like that matters in a Fark cop thread.


Hi, CT!

I'm a long-time friend and supporter, I've always liked the cut of your jib .

What's your beef, my fellow citizen?
 
2013-07-28 01:41:16 AM  

Smirky the Wonder Chimp: RepoManTSM: Joliebleu: So our live long dream is to get on Fark?

I'd just like to get greenlit once. Feel like I have a better chance to be the subject of an article at this point.

I've been here nine years and I've got 15 greenlights to my name, which proves that the mod gods either have very good taste or very poor taste, I haven't yet decided which.  Either way, I feel your pain.


I've read Fark for over 9 years and been an active poster for 8+, and I only have 7 greenlights. I forgot about the last one I submitted that was greenlit, and it was got over 200 posts before I even saw it again. It's obviously a flaw in the system.
 
2013-07-28 01:43:44 AM  
The man deserves a memorial page on fark.  This is how i want to go.
 
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