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(Sun Sentinel)   Cops forced to lay down the law after thief ruffles a few feathers by stealing a bag of potato chips. No word when he'll be frito go, but let this be a lesson to all that cheetos never win   (sun-sentinel.com) divider line 51
    More: Florida, crisps, De Bary, Winn-Dixie, feathers, lessons, robbery  
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2568 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Jul 2013 at 5:58 PM (38 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



51 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-07-27 02:39:59 PM
fc08.deviantart.net
 
2013-07-27 03:03:24 PM
Good effort, Subby. Well done.
 
2013-07-27 04:35:43 PM

bigpeeler: Good effort, Subby. Well done.


A bit of a stretch, but yes, someone needs to at least post a golf clap.  My congrats on what should make a headline of the week.
 
2013-07-27 06:01:44 PM
I wonder if they'll charge him with assault and vinegar.
 
2013-07-27 06:04:12 PM
Betcha he'll get a lot of lays in jail.
 
2013-07-27 06:06:21 PM
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
 
2013-07-27 06:06:58 PM
assets.creativity-online.com
 
2013-07-27 06:10:00 PM
indianinthemachine.files.wordpress.com

/obligatory
 
2013-07-27 06:11:20 PM
www.maniacworld.com
 
2013-07-27 06:12:06 PM
dammit, too late!
 
2013-07-27 06:13:29 PM

nytmare: /obligatory


That cracks me up every time I see it.
 
2013-07-27 06:13:52 PM
hot fries?  he's luck he didn't get an (andy) capp in his ass
 
2013-07-27 06:16:40 PM

Dead for Tax Reasons: hot fries?  he's luck he didn't get an (andy) capp in his ass


dilbert fries

www.dilbert.com
 
2013-07-27 06:18:59 PM

No, he went to jail for assault, with the theft probably secondary at that point.


"Barber is accused of punching and kicking a couple of grocery store workers who had tried to stop him as he exited a Winn-Dixie with a 99-cent bag of Hot Fries, according to the report."

 
2013-07-27 06:19:11 PM
pork rinds un-available for comment.
 
2013-07-27 06:20:18 PM
Utz


/That is all.
 
2013-07-27 06:23:54 PM
l.yimg.com
 
2013-07-27 06:24:46 PM

skinink: No, he went to jail for assault, with the theft probably secondary at that point.
"Barber is accused of punching and kicking a couple of grocery store workers who had tried to stop him as he exited a Winn-Dixie with a 99-cent bag of Hot Fries, according to the report."



Dang, you beat me to it.
 
2013-07-27 06:28:49 PM
So, he is dealing with the Conns-sequences of his actions
 
2013-07-27 06:39:02 PM

bigpeeler: Good effort, Subby. Well done.


I agree, but only because the headline made me want to cock-punch somebody.
That's headline writing talent, right there.
 
2013-07-27 06:47:30 PM
Momma still regrets not being on the pill.
 
2013-07-27 06:51:28 PM

KrispyKritter: Momma still regrets not being on the pill.


RU386 or 486?

or Pentium 4
with DDR2 PC5300 RAM
 
2013-07-27 06:52:17 PM
Remember those sweet, warm New England summers? Remember sipping lemonade underneath a shady tree? Remember when you hit that pedestrian with your car at the crosswalk and then just drove away? Pepperidge Farm remembers, but Pepperidge Farm ain't just gonna keep it to Pepperidge Farm's self free of charge. Maybe you go out and buy yourself some of these distinctive Milano cookies, maybe this whole thing disappears

/somehow appropriate
 
2013-07-27 06:59:26 PM
There are still Winn Dixie stores? ... wiki-ing, Chapter 11>stock delisted>bought out by BI LO>stores only in FLA now I guess
 
2013-07-27 07:16:57 PM
I knew it was you, Frito, you broke my heart.
 
2013-07-27 07:17:39 PM
A strong B+ or A- there, subby.
 
2013-07-27 07:20:25 PM

KidneyStone: nytmare: /obligatory

That cracks me up every time I see it.


Me, too.
 
2013-07-27 07:22:13 PM
headline was clever.
 
2013-07-27 07:30:13 PM
Theft *and* assault? What a combo. Was he stoned? Did he have the munchos?
 
2013-07-27 07:33:05 PM
I smell a lawsuit against Winn Dixie by our little thief, giving teeth to every time you hear about "the management told employees not to engage thieves."

Especially one this petty. My mind is doing the cost / cost analysis, and the paper cost to fill forms was higher.
 
2013-07-27 07:33:40 PM
Is the media calling him the Frito Bandito yet?
 
2013-07-27 07:40:02 PM
Son?
 
2013-07-27 07:46:02 PM
And let this be a lesson to all of Utz that crime doesn't pay.

/best chips evar
 
2013-07-27 07:57:07 PM
The headline was Funyuns.
Cool Ranch, subby.

/got nuthin
 
2013-07-27 08:24:31 PM

wildcardjack: I smell a lawsuit against Winn Dixie by our little thief, giving teeth to every time you hear about "the management told employees not to engage thieves."

Especially one this petty. My mind is doing the cost / cost analysis, and the paper cost to fill forms was higher.


Wait, so you're saying store policy is to allow shoplifters to walk off with merch? Free-for-all!
 
2013-07-27 08:35:57 PM

Saul T. Balzac: A strong B+ or A- there, subby.


Magnificent Subby! truly a  lesson here in headlines here. Extra cheese for you all week! Extra chilli for your hotdog!
 
2013-07-27 08:47:41 PM

nytmare: Wait, so you're saying store policy is to allow shoplifters to walk off with merch? Free-for-all!


A $.99 bag is not worth the risk.  These employees were dumbasses for trying to stop him.
 
2013-07-27 08:52:36 PM
Whoa! That was trippy. Jumped into the thread and only saw this instead of comments:

Failed to process indiv_comment.ttc template, please try again later.

37 times.
Freaked me, man.
 
2013-07-27 08:59:22 PM

bigpeeler: Good effort, Subby. Well done.


Fails without "That's Nachos!"

/says the guy with zero greenlights
//but I have my GED in puns and that one was obligatory
 
2013-07-27 09:00:36 PM

Glitchwerks: nytmare: Wait, so you're saying store policy is to allow shoplifters to walk off with merch? Free-for-all!

A $.99 bag is not worth the risk.  These employees were dumbasses for trying to stop him.


What do you think will happen once word gets out that the store will let someone just walk away with anything less in price than $x.xx?
 
2013-07-27 09:06:37 PM
all we know is that he's frito lay in PRISON
 
2013-07-27 09:06:49 PM
Gives me a pringle in a  special place...OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
 
2013-07-27 10:26:24 PM

jst3p: Glitchwerks: nytmare: Wait, so you're saying store policy is to allow shoplifters to walk off with merch? Free-for-all!

A $.99 bag is not worth the risk.  These employees were dumbasses for trying to stop him.

What do you think will happen once word gets out that the store will let someone just walk away with anything less in price than $x.xx?


They don't try to stop you.  They DO take CCTV and eyewitness descriptions of you, and then report you to the police.  The reasoning is that if they just let you leave, then you aren't likely to pull a weapon and cause harm to employees, which then has to be comped, and the police can track your ass down later.
 
2013-07-27 10:27:45 PM

xellas84: jst3p: Glitchwerks: nytmare: Wait, so you're saying store policy is to allow shoplifters to walk off with merch? Free-for-all!

A $.99 bag is not worth the risk.  These employees were dumbasses for trying to stop him.

What do you think will happen once word gets out that the store will let someone just walk away with anything less in price than $x.xx?

They don't try to stop you.  They DO take CCTV and eyewitness descriptions of you, and then report you to the police.  The reasoning is that if they just let you leave, then you aren't likely to pull a weapon and cause harm to employees, which then has to be comped, and the police can track your ass down later.


So you think the police will spend any time or effort tracking down the guy who stole a bag of chips? You are a funny man.
 
2013-07-27 10:52:14 PM
Pfft. Lenient judge will probably let him Walkers.

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-07-27 11:49:34 PM
"Forced to lay down the law"?  Subby was so close.  The chips are called "Lay's".

So, it could have read "Cop lays down the law..."
 
2013-07-28 08:01:14 AM
t0.gstatic.com
 
2013-07-28 08:28:53 AM
barfblog.com

Not on our watch.  Have Funyun the bighouse.
 
2013-07-28 08:40:02 AM
was the warden at least a good hostess?
 
2013-07-28 09:08:51 AM

jst3p: Glitchwerks: nytmare: Wait, so you're saying store policy is to allow shoplifters to walk off with merch? Free-for-all!

A $.99 bag is not worth the risk.  These employees were dumbasses for trying to stop him.

What do you think will happen once word gets out that the store will let someone just walk away with anything less in price than $x.xx?


Once word gets out that a variety store is easy to hit? I don't think that's actually a secret, but I seen some stores like a 7/11 just have a security guard on duty.
 
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