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(Salon)   "The relevant question is not whether he purposefully defecated his pants, but whether he willfully spread his feces all over the bathroom resulting in a nuisance, hazard, and damage,"   (salon.com) divider line 42
    More: Sick, civil cases, majority opinions, dissenting opinions  
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4893 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Jul 2013 at 9:07 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-07-26 07:44:24 PM
5 votes:
Another Ted Nugent thread?
2013-07-26 10:17:59 PM
3 votes:
It wasn't the poop. It was this:

When he was hauled back into court, Strong's defense was two-fold - one, he didn't mean to cause the mess, and two, there were no clearly visible signs warning that it was illegal to befoul the bathroom.

No judge in America is going to let a 50-year old man stand in front of him or her and say "Your Honor, I'm sorry but I didn't know it was illegal to shiat all over the bathroom. And since you didn't have any signs posted saying 'Please don't shiat all over our bathroom,' you can't hold me responsible."

BANG!

Pay twice the fine because you're a complete dunderhead, Mr. Strong.
2013-07-26 09:32:28 PM
3 votes:
FTA: "seventy-five percent of the floor was covered in feces" while more was "smeared more than two feet up on the walls" and "on the paper towel and toilet paper dispensers, on the toilet paper itself, and on part of the toilet seat and the left side of the toilet bowl," according to the opinion.

Oh, so your standard Walmart bathroom shiatter?
I'm all for people that pull shiat like this being charged!
2013-07-27 12:21:03 AM
2 votes:
fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net
2013-07-26 10:02:06 PM
2 votes:

SuddenlySamhain: Did Ted Nugent crap on stage or something?
I almost dont want to know but im curious


He shiat his pants to get out of having to go to Viet Nam. He's a draft dodger.. and shiat his pants to do it. on purpose.
2013-07-26 09:50:50 PM
2 votes:

Mentat: Another Ted Nugent thread?


Yep. best first post evar.. or at least this week.
2013-07-26 08:47:43 PM
2 votes:

Mentat: Another Ted Nugent thread?


I'm pleased to see that this is the initial comment.
2013-07-26 08:17:02 PM
2 votes:
Anyone who doesn't fully trust the integrity of their gastrointestinal system would be well-advised to stay far away from federal buildings the fark home.
2013-07-26 07:48:24 PM
2 votes:

Mentat: Another Ted Nugent thread?


He brought it on himself. Twice.

Some things would have been forgotten 40 years ago if he hadn't tried to wave the "RAH RAH TROOPS GUNZ GRRR" flag.

/DNRTFA
2013-07-28 01:38:10 AM
1 votes:
When I worked at Kinko's we used to have a guy who came in late at night sometimes to sleep in one of the chairs and use the bathroom.  He was clearly homeless -- wearing about 8 layers of clothes regardless of the season with items stuffed inside, the same green sweatshirt and filthy socks on top every time we saw him, pushing a small cart full of assorted who-knows-what, and stinking of crusted dried sweat and old urine.  But he seemed to be a little slow mentally, and we all felt kinda bad for the guy, so as long as nobody else was around we'd let him sit quietly.

One day I came in and was told he was BANNED from using the bathroom.  Apparently the night before he'd spent an hour in there decorating every reachable surface with shiat.  They had to close it off and call in a professional crew with bunnysuits for cleanup.

That very night he came in and the first thing he wanted was to use the bathroom "to take medication" (he had never mentioned medication before, ever).  I fobbed some story about the water being busted on him and he went away and I don't recall seeing him any more after that (although I transferred to another store not long after, so who knows...)
2013-07-27 09:47:24 PM
1 votes:

Great Porn Dragon: Sgt Otter: After his fraudulent student deferment ran out, he was reclassified as medically unfit for service. In all of his "I was just kidding" retractions, he has never given an explanation as to why he was classified as 4F.

And considering that ol' Ted has always been, erm, rather athletic on stage (enough where the usual 4F reasons like "uncorrectable visual deficit", "flat feet", and "asthma" don't really seem to apply too much) one would think that the 4F was for something psychiatric...could well have been the "Let's pretend to be the pants-shiatting homeless guy who insists the CIA put a laser in his butt", could well have been drugs or moral turpitude (ol' Ted DID have quite a thing for "even Motley Crue in their heyday would consider them underage" Just-Hit-Puberty types to the point he married one of his underage girlfriends after having her parents consent, also apparently heavy drug use or multiple uses of certain psychoactive drugs was considered a 4F condition).

/suspects he really did do the Pants-Shiatting Homeless Guy schtick and now claims it was a "ha ha only serious" thing now that he's gone full John Bircher


One of his long standing claims is that he has never used drugs.

I tend to believe the crappy pants story.

Still like some of his music. Homebound is a favorite. It really shows that he knows more than two chords.
2013-07-27 10:21:20 AM
1 votes:
Was it malicious defecation?
2013-07-27 10:20:25 AM
1 votes:

Ral: I can't actually read any of that case information...a subscription to PACER is required? Also, what's an EPO? Emergency Protective Order? And he's done the granny shiatting before?


Yeah, federal court docs need a subscription.  You pay by your searches, not a monthly fee.  If your bill is small enough they throw it away.  Thus the lawyers pay, the individual that needs to look up a few pages doesn't.
2013-07-27 04:56:48 AM
1 votes:
My first job after high school was courtesy clerk for a grocery chain. Someone would smear crap on the bathroom walls in one or the other restrooms at least once a month. Sometimes they drew nooses and swastikas. I hate humans.
Ral
2013-07-27 12:42:08 AM
1 votes:

Great Porn Dragon: Ral: Great Porn Dragon: Oh, and Granny Shiatter is not only not exactly NOT unfamiliar with the courts but may have a bit of a history with them :D

Apparently one of Granny Shiatter's previous lost cases where he tried to file for SSDI was where he claimed he was disabled due to a personality disorder (nah, can't imagine THAT at all, can we?).   He's been repeatedly told "No, finish your other methods of appeals first" (including at least once before the Granny Shiat Incident; likely said incident happened when he was appealing being told "no" again; the latest non-Granny-Shiatter case I can find in relation to the guy is where he tried to sue the Social Security Administrator in charge of his case for saying "no, damnit"; I'll note that he has done this multiple times, each time having it dismissed).  This court case (where he was formally adjuged a Granny Shiatter in the eyes of the law) apparently was an appeal from the initial case where he was charged with Malicious Fecal Distribution,

And apparently the guy is also bugfark nuts enough TO have done Malicious Fecal Distribution, seeing as he has had at least one EPO put out on him back in 2006 (we know this because he tried to sue to get it dismissed--the courts said no).

Nope, can't imagine that the Granny Shiatter Incident was anything but an accident (teehee)...

I can't actually read any of that case information...a subscription to PACER is required?  Also, what's an EPO?  Emergency Protective Order?  And he's done the granny shiatting before?

For a fair amount of the stuff involving the SSDI stuffle, there really isn't a free source available (unfortunately).  As for EPO, that's Emergency Protection Order.

And whilst I hadn't mentioned him doing a previous Granny Shiatter Incident (it's more that there have been two court cases over the same incident--he got charged with it once, he appealed, lost, appealed AGAIN, and most recently lost again)...well...the most recent court ruling (re the Granny Shiatt ...


So basically the guy is a professional asshole.

Thanks for the explanation of his prior history with the legal system.
2013-07-27 12:23:41 AM
1 votes:
Sounds like a Santorum supporter.
2013-07-26 11:52:29 PM
1 votes:
Sounds like the poor guy was shiat outa luck.
2013-07-26 11:38:10 PM
1 votes:
He did not "defecate his pants". That would mean he profile-b.xx.fbcdn.netout a pair of his own pants, not that he profile-b.xx.fbcdn.net in them. You never say somebody profile-b.xx.fbcdn.net a toilet, do you? Hey, last week a poodle profile-b.xx.fbcdn.net a parking lot!

/ who's the a.deviantart.net that won't cop out when there's danger all about?

//profile-b.xx.fbcdn.net!

/// right on
2013-07-26 11:26:39 PM
1 votes:
Is Malicious Fecal Distribution going to become an Internet Meme?
(ihopeihopeihopeihope)
2013-07-26 11:16:38 PM
1 votes:
Oh, and Granny Shiatter is not only not exactly NOT unfamiliar with the courts but may have a bit of a history with them :D

Apparently one of Granny Shiatter's previous lost cases where he tried to file for SSDI was where he claimed he was disabled due to a personality disorder (nah, can't imagine THAT at all, can we?).   He's been repeatedly told "No, finish your other methods of appeals first" (including at least once before the Granny Shiat Incident; likely said incident happened when he was appealing being told "no" again; the latest non-Granny-Shiatter case I can find in relation to the guy is where he tried to sue the Social Security Administrator in charge of his case for saying "no, damnit"; I'll note that he has done this multiple times, each time having it dismissed).  This court case (where he was formally adjuged a Granny Shiatter in the eyes of the law) apparently was an appeal from the initial case where he was charged with Malicious Fecal Distribution,

And apparently the guy is also bugfark nuts enough TO have done Malicious Fecal Distribution, seeing as he has had at least one EPO put out on him back in 2006 (we know this because he tried to sue to get it dismissed--the courts said no).

Nope, can't imagine that the Granny Shiatter Incident was anything but an accident (teehee)...
2013-07-26 11:06:57 PM
1 votes:

SuddenlySamhain: seriously though, I didnt know that


I wish I didn't.
2013-07-26 10:57:11 PM
1 votes:
And for those who care, here's the Granny Shiatter vs. Maine ruling in question--apparently this fellow's been appealing this since 2011, of all things.  Just to find he's now well-night internationally famous as the only Granny Shiatter ever called out for such in a federal court document :D
2013-07-26 10:51:49 PM
1 votes:
images4.wikia.nocookie.net
2013-07-26 10:48:22 PM
1 votes:
Judge Juan R. Torruella takes the majority to task in a dissenting opinion, declaring "The momentous importance of this case surely forecasts its deserved place in the annals of federal prosecutorial history."

i204.photobucket.com
2013-07-26 10:40:27 PM
1 votes:
Tune in next week for the continuing adventures of...
The Cleveland Steamer!
2013-07-26 10:21:39 PM
1 votes:
Had the unfortunate experience of walking into a bathroom at the Ramada in Grove City, OH that must have used the same decorator. The guy must have stood on a ladder to get such incredible height. It was quite the fecal feat.

Anyway, that Ramada has since been razed. I wonder if it is because of crap like that.
2013-07-26 10:14:37 PM
1 votes:

Suckmaster Burstingfoam: And some poor guy was paid something like $5/hr to clean it all up.


brainiac-dumdum: You're all welcome


Probably, it was long enough ago that was about what minimum wage was. Yes, I did feel bad, but not bad enough to stick around. It was rather embarrassing. And like I said, if it were clean in the first place it would not have been so disastrous.
2013-07-26 10:05:17 PM
1 votes:
You're all welcome
2013-07-26 09:58:52 PM
1 votes:

TwowheelinTim: Related CSB, or maybe G(ross)SB

I was in Tijuana and headed back (on foot) to the border when I felt it coming on. By the time I got through customs, it was surging hard. There was a McDonalds just on the other side of the border in Chula Vista. I made a b-line for the bathroom. The only stall in the bathroom was a disgusting mess. I dropped my pants and squatted as best I could over the toilet without sitting down in the filth. Let's just say I spray painted that toilet with a fine mist of whatever I had eaten and was causing my distress. I managed to keep it off myself, and was able clean my ass. I walked straight out and never looked back. I felt sorry for the poor worker that had to clean that mess up, but it wouldn't have happened had they kept it clean in the first place.


And some poor guy was paid something like $5/hr to clean it all up.

On the bright side, it probably inspired him to quit his job and study to become a doctor.

But when he realized that took some money, which he didn't have cos he'd spent his life mopping shiat for $5/hr, he probably decided instead to become a serial rapist.

That's all your fault and you should feel bad.
2013-07-26 09:54:52 PM
1 votes:

Pray 4 Mojo: I need to see pictures before I pass judgement on this guy.


www.nndb.com

It wasn't medication, it was crab legs at the Mirage.
2013-07-26 09:51:57 PM
1 votes:
I've worked at a public park. Anyone else who has know this happens every weekend.
2013-07-26 09:47:06 PM
1 votes:

BitwiseShift: For the purposes of this thread I'll be content to just lurk and read in wonder of those better schooled in the various laws of defecation, decoration, and decorum santorum.

FTFY

2013-07-26 09:46:37 PM
1 votes:
After due consideration of the evidence and statements presented to me, I find the defendant not guilty of malicious defecation but hold him responsible for failing to report a health hazard.

Basically a $100 fine. He really should have quietly notified someone of the mess in the toilet, apologized, accepted responsibility and left and no one would have made a big embarrassing fuss about it.

Courthouse bathrooms should have drains installed in the floors, like in most bars. This is so the place can be sluiced down quickly and easily.
2013-07-26 09:37:02 PM
1 votes:
A few years ago I visited my old university faculty building. In the washroom was a sign above the toilet that said "please defecate in the toilet".

\ business major.
2013-07-26 09:34:06 PM
1 votes:
Torruella delves into the context of the cleaning lady's use of the term "smear" in her testimony, noting that while the majority interpreted the word to mean it was intentional, she had actually described it as "not necessarily like finger smears but just chunks - chunks and smears, pretty much, kind of like chunky peanut butter."

I read this while having a nice bowl of clam chowder and put it aside for awhile.
2013-07-26 09:32:16 PM
1 votes:

Lsherm: POOP THREAD!

[files.abovetopsecret.com image 224x163]


How could this not be the most epic poop story ever? Only 24 comments in what could be the most epic poop thread ever? Farkers, I am disappoint.
2013-07-26 09:26:46 PM
1 votes:
25.media.tumblr.com

Purposefully defecated.
2013-07-26 09:24:04 PM
1 votes:
Did I just read that whole article? Dear God.

/ chunky peanut butter
2013-07-26 09:20:14 PM
1 votes:
was it a jail bathroom?  in jail that was the first time i ever bled out of my ass

the rapists were so fast i had no chance to stop em
2013-07-26 09:15:05 PM
1 votes:

Mentat: Another Ted Nugent thread?


Instant gratification!
2013-07-26 09:14:08 PM
1 votes:

you are a puppet: Read this earlier and couldn't believe the court devoted 50+ pages to it.


Seems to me that 50+ pages wasn't enough to begin with.
2013-07-26 08:34:54 PM
1 votes:
Had this happen at a strip joint I worked at 20 some years ago.
Some old guy with a prosthetic leg had been drinking draft beer all day, when he went to the men's room and let 'er rip.
Shiat everywhere. Floor, walls, toilet, sink. Everywhere but the ceiling.
The old guy just walked out mumbling "Problem with my leg in the restroom..."
 
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