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(Salon)   "The relevant question is not whether he purposefully defecated his pants, but whether he willfully spread his feces all over the bathroom resulting in a nuisance, hazard, and damage,"   (salon.com) divider line 94
    More: Sick, civil cases, majority opinions, dissenting opinions  
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4896 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Jul 2013 at 9:07 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



94 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-07-26 07:44:24 PM  
Another Ted Nugent thread?
 
2013-07-26 07:48:24 PM  

Mentat: Another Ted Nugent thread?


He brought it on himself. Twice.

Some things would have been forgotten 40 years ago if he hadn't tried to wave the "RAH RAH TROOPS GUNZ GRRR" flag.

/DNRTFA
 
2013-07-26 08:15:27 PM  
POOP THREAD!

files.abovetopsecret.com
 
2013-07-26 08:17:02 PM  
Anyone who doesn't fully trust the integrity of their gastrointestinal system would be well-advised to stay far away from federal buildings the fark home.
 
2013-07-26 08:25:15 PM  
I need to see pictures before I pass judgement on this guy.
 
2013-07-26 08:31:43 PM  
POOP THREAD!!!
i.imgur.com
 
2013-07-26 08:34:54 PM  
Had this happen at a strip joint I worked at 20 some years ago.
Some old guy with a prosthetic leg had been drinking draft beer all day, when he went to the men's room and let 'er rip.
Shiat everywhere. Floor, walls, toilet, sink. Everywhere but the ceiling.
The old guy just walked out mumbling "Problem with my leg in the restroom..."
 
2013-07-26 08:42:21 PM  
southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com
 
2013-07-26 08:47:43 PM  

Mentat: Another Ted Nugent thread?


I'm pleased to see that this is the initial comment.
 
2013-07-26 08:56:14 PM  
His defense stinks.
 
2013-07-26 09:10:53 PM  
Read this earlier and couldn't believe the court devoted 50+ pages to it.
 
2013-07-26 09:14:08 PM  

you are a puppet: Read this earlier and couldn't believe the court devoted 50+ pages to it.


Seems to me that 50+ pages wasn't enough to begin with.
 
2013-07-26 09:14:32 PM  
Dear Penthouse,
  I never thought this would happen to me, but....
 
2013-07-26 09:14:35 PM  

Mentat: Another Ted Nugent thread?


Well, he did predict he would be in jail by this time
 
2013-07-26 09:15:05 PM  

Mentat: Another Ted Nugent thread?


Instant gratification!
 
2013-07-26 09:15:52 PM  

Pray 4 Mojo: you are a puppet: Read this earlier and couldn't believe the court devoted 50+ pages to it.

Seems to me that 50+ pages wasn't enough to begin with.


Cat Scratch Fever does not need to be 50+ pages long.
 
2013-07-26 09:18:05 PM  
www.washingtonpost.com
 
2013-07-26 09:20:14 PM  
was it a jail bathroom?  in jail that was the first time i ever bled out of my ass

the rapists were so fast i had no chance to stop em
 
2013-07-26 09:22:45 PM  
I just have a feeling that if you're on an appellate court, dealing with really technical matters of law, you'd jump at the chance to write a 50 page description of someone shiatting themselves.
 
2013-07-26 09:22:46 PM  

unlikely: Mentat: Another Ted Nugent thread?

He brought it on himself. Twice.

Some things would have been forgotten 40 years ago if he hadn't tried to wave the "RAH RAH TROOPS GUNZ GRRR" flag.

/DNRTFA


Nugent lost all credibility when he fired his band that made him successful as a solo artist for the unforgivable sin of writing good songs and getting attention. He is an asshole of the nth degree.
 
2013-07-26 09:25:28 PM  

Mentat: Another Ted Nugent thread?


Please note that this is the first time I've ever said "Finished in one."
 
2013-07-26 09:26:46 PM  
25.media.tumblr.com

Purposefully defecated.
 
2013-07-26 09:27:37 PM  

FloydA: Mentat: Another Ted Nugent thread?

Please note that this is the first time I've ever said "Finished in one."


Me too

Finished in one
 
2013-07-26 09:31:14 PM  
Woohoo! Way to go Portland! We finally made the main page!
 
2013-07-26 09:32:16 PM  

Lsherm: POOP THREAD!

[files.abovetopsecret.com image 224x163]


How could this not be the most epic poop story ever? Only 24 comments in what could be the most epic poop thread ever? Farkers, I am disappoint.
 
2013-07-26 09:32:28 PM  
FTA: "seventy-five percent of the floor was covered in feces" while more was "smeared more than two feet up on the walls" and "on the paper towel and toilet paper dispensers, on the toilet paper itself, and on part of the toilet seat and the left side of the toilet bowl," according to the opinion.

Oh, so your standard Walmart bathroom shiatter?
I'm all for people that pull shiat like this being charged!
 
2013-07-26 09:33:26 PM  
Did Ted Nugent crap on stage or something?
I almost dont want to know but im curious
 
2013-07-26 09:34:06 PM  
Torruella delves into the context of the cleaning lady's use of the term "smear" in her testimony, noting that while the majority interpreted the word to mean it was intentional, she had actually described it as "not necessarily like finger smears but just chunks - chunks and smears, pretty much, kind of like chunky peanut butter."

I read this while having a nice bowl of clam chowder and put it aside for awhile.
 
2013-07-26 09:37:02 PM  
A few years ago I visited my old university faculty building. In the washroom was a sign above the toilet that said "please defecate in the toilet".

\ business major.
 
2013-07-26 09:37:45 PM  

berylman: Torruella delves into the context of the cleaning lady's use of the term "smear" in her testimony, noting that while the majority interpreted the word to mean it was intentional, she had actually described it as "not necessarily like finger smears but just chunks - chunks and smears, pretty much, kind of like chunky peanut butter."

I read this while having a nice bowl of clam chowder and put it aside for awhile.


Let me tell you about the wildest bukkake video I ever saw online...
 
2013-07-26 09:38:25 PM  
I eagerly await the German-made porn of it.

No I don't.

And I like how the article's exposition of the event begins with "he was in court FOR AN UNRELATED CIVIL CASE when...".

I should certainly hope so!
 
2013-07-26 09:39:13 PM  

berylman: Torruella delves into the context of the cleaning lady's use of the term "smear" in her testimony, noting that while the majority interpreted the word to mean it was intentional, she had actually described it as "not necessarily like finger smears but just chunks - chunks and smears, pretty much, kind of like chunky peanut butter."

I read this while having a nice bowl of clam chowder and put it aside for awhile.


WHO WANTS CHOWDER?!
 
2013-07-26 09:42:35 PM  
images3.wikia.nocookie.net

No, no! It was literally, only on the floor! Alright-there was no attempt to get near the toilet! I-i-its like they just, pressed their buttocks against the wall! The only part of the floor that didn't have poo on it was the part that had a baby on it!
 
2013-07-26 09:42:43 PM  
hecho en uno
 
2013-07-26 09:44:51 PM  
Mmmmm, chunky peanut butter...

Why yes, I devoured every sordid detail of the article.
 
2013-07-26 09:45:45 PM  
For the purposes of this thread I'll be content to just lurk and read in wonder of those better schooled in the various laws of defecation, decoration, and decorum.
 
2013-07-26 09:46:37 PM  
After due consideration of the evidence and statements presented to me, I find the defendant not guilty of malicious defecation but hold him responsible for failing to report a health hazard.

Basically a $100 fine. He really should have quietly notified someone of the mess in the toilet, apologized, accepted responsibility and left and no one would have made a big embarrassing fuss about it.

Courthouse bathrooms should have drains installed in the floors, like in most bars. This is so the place can be sluiced down quickly and easily.
 
2013-07-26 09:47:06 PM  

BitwiseShift: For the purposes of this thread I'll be content to just lurk and read in wonder of those better schooled in the various laws of defecation, decoration, and decorum santorum.

FTFY

 
2013-07-26 09:50:32 PM  
Related CSB, or maybe G(ross)SB

I was in Tijuana and headed back (on foot) to the border when I felt it coming on. By the time I got through customs, it was surging hard. There was a McDonalds just on the other side of the border in Chula Vista. I made a b-line for the bathroom. The only stall in the bathroom was a disgusting mess. I dropped my pants and squatted as best I could over the toilet without sitting down in the filth. Let's just say I spray painted that toilet with a fine mist of whatever I had eaten and was causing my distress. I managed to keep it off myself, and was able clean my ass. I walked straight out and never looked back. I felt sorry for the poor worker that had to clean that mess up, but it wouldn't have happened had they kept it clean in the first place.
 
2013-07-26 09:50:50 PM  

Mentat: Another Ted Nugent thread?


Yep. best first post evar.. or at least this week.
 
2013-07-26 09:51:57 PM  
I've worked at a public park. Anyone else who has know this happens every weekend.
 
2013-07-26 09:54:52 PM  

Pray 4 Mojo: I need to see pictures before I pass judgement on this guy.


www.nndb.com

It wasn't medication, it was crab legs at the Mirage.
 
2013-07-26 09:58:52 PM  

TwowheelinTim: Related CSB, or maybe G(ross)SB

I was in Tijuana and headed back (on foot) to the border when I felt it coming on. By the time I got through customs, it was surging hard. There was a McDonalds just on the other side of the border in Chula Vista. I made a b-line for the bathroom. The only stall in the bathroom was a disgusting mess. I dropped my pants and squatted as best I could over the toilet without sitting down in the filth. Let's just say I spray painted that toilet with a fine mist of whatever I had eaten and was causing my distress. I managed to keep it off myself, and was able clean my ass. I walked straight out and never looked back. I felt sorry for the poor worker that had to clean that mess up, but it wouldn't have happened had they kept it clean in the first place.


And some poor guy was paid something like $5/hr to clean it all up.

On the bright side, it probably inspired him to quit his job and study to become a doctor.

But when he realized that took some money, which he didn't have cos he'd spent his life mopping shiat for $5/hr, he probably decided instead to become a serial rapist.

That's all your fault and you should feel bad.
 
2013-07-26 10:02:06 PM  

SuddenlySamhain: Did Ted Nugent crap on stage or something?
I almost dont want to know but im curious


He shiat his pants to get out of having to go to Viet Nam. He's a draft dodger.. and shiat his pants to do it. on purpose.
 
2013-07-26 10:03:30 PM  

lethological_lassie: Lsherm: POOP THREAD!

[files.abovetopsecret.com image 224x163]

How could this not be the most epic poop story ever? Only 24 comments in what could be the most epic poop thread ever? Farkers, I am disappoint.


I think after reading the description in the article, most people pushed the computer away and decided that they had enough internet for the night. Either that or they are still throwing up.
 
2013-07-26 10:03:31 PM  

Lsherm: POOP THREAD!

[files.abovetopsecret.com image 224x163]


DOODIE!!
 
2013-07-26 10:05:17 PM  
You're all welcome
 
2013-07-26 10:09:43 PM  
Imagine the jail cell after 7 days. Did he have a cell mate?
 
2013-07-26 10:10:35 PM  

ongbok: lethological_lassie: Lsherm: POOP THREAD!

[files.abovetopsecret.com image 224x163]

How could this not be the most epic poop story ever? Only 24 comments in what could be the most epic poop thread ever? Farkers, I am disappoint.

I think after reading the description in the article, most people pushed the computer away and decided that they had enough internet for the night. Either that or they are still throwing up.


No, the Nugent comment killed it. You can't top that.
 
2013-07-26 10:14:37 PM  

Suckmaster Burstingfoam: And some poor guy was paid something like $5/hr to clean it all up.


brainiac-dumdum: You're all welcome


Probably, it was long enough ago that was about what minimum wage was. Yes, I did feel bad, but not bad enough to stick around. It was rather embarrassing. And like I said, if it were clean in the first place it would not have been so disastrous.
 
2013-07-26 10:17:59 PM  
It wasn't the poop. It was this:

When he was hauled back into court, Strong's defense was two-fold - one, he didn't mean to cause the mess, and two, there were no clearly visible signs warning that it was illegal to befoul the bathroom.

No judge in America is going to let a 50-year old man stand in front of him or her and say "Your Honor, I'm sorry but I didn't know it was illegal to shiat all over the bathroom. And since you didn't have any signs posted saying 'Please don't shiat all over our bathroom,' you can't hold me responsible."

BANG!

Pay twice the fine because you're a complete dunderhead, Mr. Strong.
 
2013-07-26 10:19:22 PM  

cretinbob: SuddenlySamhain: Did Ted Nugent crap on stage or something?
I almost dont want to know but im curious

He shiat his pants to get out of having to go to Viet Nam. He's a draft dodger.. and shiat his pants to do it. on purpose.


no shiat?


sorry


seriously though, I didnt know that
 
2013-07-26 10:21:39 PM  
Had the unfortunate experience of walking into a bathroom at the Ramada in Grove City, OH that must have used the same decorator. The guy must have stood on a ladder to get such incredible height. It was quite the fecal feat.

Anyway, that Ramada has since been razed. I wonder if it is because of crap like that.
 
2013-07-26 10:22:56 PM  

GoBoutChaBusiness: Had the unfortunate experience of walking into a bathroom at the Ramada in Grove City, OH that must have used the same decorator. The guy must have stood on a ladder to get such incredible height. It was quite the fecal feat.

Anyway, that Ramada has since been razed. I wonder if it is because of crap like that.


Stringtown Ramada?

/sorry about that
 
2013-07-26 10:28:15 PM  
"The outrageously graphic 57-page court document, written by distinguished judges who sit one level below the U.S. Supreme Court, includes vivid comparisons to spaghetti with meat sauce and chunky peanut butter "

Okay, now that's funny.
 
2013-07-26 10:29:59 PM  
 
2013-07-26 10:31:31 PM  

ThrobblefootSpectre: "The outrageously graphic 57-page court document, written by distinguished judges who sit one level below the U.S. Supreme Court, includes vivid comparisons to spaghetti with meat sauce and chunky peanut butter "

Okay, now that's funny.


What prompted the comparison with spaghetti? Did the guy have worms?
 
2013-07-26 10:33:02 PM  

brainiac-dumdum: You're all welcome


I only poop outside.
 
2013-07-26 10:35:38 PM  

Jon iz teh kewl: was it a jail bathroom?  in jail that was the first time i ever bled out of my ass

the rapists were so fast i had no chance to stop em


It's hard to keep your legs together isn't it? We understand.
 
2013-07-26 10:40:19 PM  

sharphead: Jon iz teh kewl: was it a jail bathroom?  in jail that was the first time i ever bled out of my ass

the rapists were so fast i had no chance to stop em

It's hard to keep your legs together isn't it? We understand.


static.ddmcdn.com
You know where this goes...
 
2013-07-26 10:40:27 PM  
Tune in next week for the continuing adventures of...
The Cleveland Steamer!
 
2013-07-26 10:46:40 PM  
Saw the court document...let's just say that I seriously have to wonder if not only the judge but most of the testifying witnesses were regulars on alt.tasteless Back In The Day (I swear, that ruling had the most references and discussions of the fine consistency and matter of Malicious Fecal Distribution that I've actually seen outside of alt.tasteless :D).

And interestingly, literally everyone I know who has ever worked in the Fast Food Service Industry has a pet term for this particular type of Malicious Fecal Distribution: Granny Shiats (mostly because usually elderly women would come in, apparently stand on one leg and turn a pirouette worthy of a member of the Bolshoi Ballet whilst generously and copiously coating the floor, walls, and everything else with Arse Chili, and then walk out cackling as if having been told the World's Funniest Joke whilst having their dress suspiciously sticking to their rear).  It was generally assumed by all that said Granny Shiatters basically did this as a form of Trolling With Diarrhea....

In fact, on reading I pretty much went at first "Granny Shiatter?  ....Yup, Granny Shiatter, though fifty is kind of young to be working in Butt Chunder as a trolling medium..."  I also call bullshiat on his claim that heart medicine caused this; I read the Physician's Desk Reference for shiats and giggles (pun not intended, the PDR is kind of hefty for bathroom reading material unless you have a poo stuck in that would be worthy of a South Park episode) and I know of no heart medication that has "A sudden urge to have bowel movements, an inability to control them, and an overwhelming desire to create a work of modern art with them" as a side effect.  Stimulant laxatives, sure; antibiotics, well, if you're unlucky enough to get antibiotic-associated colitis, yeah.  Heart medication of the sort that would be necessary for someone making multiple failed SSDI claims?  Not so much.  (And if there were such a thing, sorry, refusing it like I refuse Olestra and Alli, kthx.)
 
2013-07-26 10:48:22 PM  
Judge Juan R. Torruella takes the majority to task in a dissenting opinion, declaring "The momentous importance of this case surely forecasts its deserved place in the annals of federal prosecutorial history."

i204.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-26 10:51:49 PM  
images4.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-07-26 10:57:11 PM  
And for those who care, here's the Granny Shiatter vs. Maine ruling in question--apparently this fellow's been appealing this since 2011, of all things.  Just to find he's now well-night internationally famous as the only Granny Shiatter ever called out for such in a federal court document :D
 
2013-07-26 11:06:57 PM  

SuddenlySamhain: seriously though, I didnt know that


I wish I didn't.
 
2013-07-26 11:16:38 PM  
Oh, and Granny Shiatter is not only not exactly NOT unfamiliar with the courts but may have a bit of a history with them :D

Apparently one of Granny Shiatter's previous lost cases where he tried to file for SSDI was where he claimed he was disabled due to a personality disorder (nah, can't imagine THAT at all, can we?).   He's been repeatedly told "No, finish your other methods of appeals first" (including at least once before the Granny Shiat Incident; likely said incident happened when he was appealing being told "no" again; the latest non-Granny-Shiatter case I can find in relation to the guy is where he tried to sue the Social Security Administrator in charge of his case for saying "no, damnit"; I'll note that he has done this multiple times, each time having it dismissed).  This court case (where he was formally adjuged a Granny Shiatter in the eyes of the law) apparently was an appeal from the initial case where he was charged with Malicious Fecal Distribution,

And apparently the guy is also bugfark nuts enough TO have done Malicious Fecal Distribution, seeing as he has had at least one EPO put out on him back in 2006 (we know this because he tried to sue to get it dismissed--the courts said no).

Nope, can't imagine that the Granny Shiatter Incident was anything but an accident (teehee)...
 
2013-07-26 11:22:59 PM  
DAMMIT ORTON!

/armbar
 
2013-07-26 11:26:39 PM  
Is Malicious Fecal Distribution going to become an Internet Meme?
(ihopeihopeihopeihope)
 
2013-07-26 11:38:10 PM  
He did not "defecate his pants". That would mean he profile-b.xx.fbcdn.netout a pair of his own pants, not that he profile-b.xx.fbcdn.net in them. You never say somebody profile-b.xx.fbcdn.net a toilet, do you? Hey, last week a poodle profile-b.xx.fbcdn.net a parking lot!

/ who's the a.deviantart.net that won't cop out when there's danger all about?

//profile-b.xx.fbcdn.net!

/// right on
 
Ral
2013-07-26 11:46:12 PM  

Great Porn Dragon: Oh, and Granny Shiatter is not only not exactly NOT unfamiliar with the courts but may have a bit of a history with them :D

Apparently one of Granny Shiatter's previous lost cases where he tried to file for SSDI was where he claimed he was disabled due to a personality disorder (nah, can't imagine THAT at all, can we?).   He's been repeatedly told "No, finish your other methods of appeals first" (including at least once before the Granny Shiat Incident; likely said incident happened when he was appealing being told "no" again; the latest non-Granny-Shiatter case I can find in relation to the guy is where he tried to sue the Social Security Administrator in charge of his case for saying "no, damnit"; I'll note that he has done this multiple times, each time having it dismissed).  This court case (where he was formally adjuged a Granny Shiatter in the eyes of the law) apparently was an appeal from the initial case where he was charged with Malicious Fecal Distribution,

And apparently the guy is also bugfark nuts enough TO have done Malicious Fecal Distribution, seeing as he has had at least one EPO put out on him back in 2006 (we know this because he tried to sue to get it dismissed--the courts said no).

Nope, can't imagine that the Granny Shiatter Incident was anything but an accident (teehee)...


I can't actually read any of that case information...a subscription to PACER is required?  Also, what's an EPO?  Emergency Protective Order?  And he's done the granny shiatting before?
 
2013-07-26 11:52:29 PM  
Sounds like the poor guy was shiat outa luck.
 
2013-07-27 12:13:10 AM  

Ral: Great Porn Dragon: Oh, and Granny Shiatter is not only not exactly NOT unfamiliar with the courts but may have a bit of a history with them :D

Apparently one of Granny Shiatter's previous lost cases where he tried to file for SSDI was where he claimed he was disabled due to a personality disorder (nah, can't imagine THAT at all, can we?).   He's been repeatedly told "No, finish your other methods of appeals first" (including at least once before the Granny Shiat Incident; likely said incident happened when he was appealing being told "no" again; the latest non-Granny-Shiatter case I can find in relation to the guy is where he tried to sue the Social Security Administrator in charge of his case for saying "no, damnit"; I'll note that he has done this multiple times, each time having it dismissed).  This court case (where he was formally adjuged a Granny Shiatter in the eyes of the law) apparently was an appeal from the initial case where he was charged with Malicious Fecal Distribution,

And apparently the guy is also bugfark nuts enough TO have done Malicious Fecal Distribution, seeing as he has had at least one EPO put out on him back in 2006 (we know this because he tried to sue to get it dismissed--the courts said no).

Nope, can't imagine that the Granny Shiatter Incident was anything but an accident (teehee)...

I can't actually read any of that case information...a subscription to PACER is required?  Also, what's an EPO?  Emergency Protective Order?  And he's done the granny shiatting before?


For a fair amount of the stuff involving the SSDI stuffle, there really isn't a free source available (unfortunately).  As for EPO, that's Emergency Protection Order.

And whilst I hadn't mentioned him doing a previous Granny Shiatter Incident (it's more that there have been two court cases over the same incident--he got charged with it once, he appealed, lost, appealed AGAIN, and most recently lost again)...well...the most recent court ruling (re the Granny Shiatter Incident) DOES note where he admits to a similar incident "but not quite as extreme" in a K-Mart "some years back".

Cliff's Notes version of what I was trying to note--guy does apparently have some non-negligible problems in Getting Along With Others (apparently so extreme in 2006 that a person who knew him took out an Emergency Protection Order, which he promptly violated and got charged for THAT), and subsequently has been on a Don Quixote-esque expedition to get the Social Security Administration to grant him SSDI for an unspecified "personality disorder" including retroactive SSDI from where he was a kid; so far, he's been rejected and every attempt he's had so far to sue has been shot down in flames with specific notes that he really needs to finish the appeals process first and file his court papers on a timely basis.

(The "Personality disorder" thing is, of course, going to raise some hairy eyeballs with an Social Security admin.  Firstly, personality disorders were generally NOT recognised as separate disorders (to the extent they are now) at the time he would have been a minor (there's been at least three, closer to four, major revisions of the DSM that is used to diagnose personality disorders).  Secondly, a disorder severe enough for a minor to require psychiatric treatment would have probably resulted in involuntary commitment back then (guy is 51; he'd have been a minor up until 1980, laws existed for easy commitment up to the mid-70s if not later in most areas (you didn't have to pull teeth to "Baker Act" a kid setting fire to the local cat population) and the IEP (and laws mandating public schooling for children considered to be handicapped including mental illness and developmental disorders) did not exist until 1976 or so) and he'd not exactly be suing for RETROACTIVE diagnosis.  Thirdly, the general diagnoses for personality disorders in children are different from the personality disorder diagnoses in adults (enough that they are considered separate diagnoses--a kid that sets fire to kittens might be initially diagnosed as Oppositional Defiant Disorder before puberty or the age of majority and Antisocial Personality Disorder afterward) and thus not equivalent in the eyes of the Social Security Board.  Fourthly (and it's sad to note this), "personality disorder" is a common thing grifters trying to defraud Social Security try to get themselves diagnosed with (as it's incurable, often meets the definition of "disabled" per Social Security Administration as in "Pretty much unemployable and unable to hold a job", and doesn't otherwise restrict normal life activities in the same way that being blind or schizophrenic or paraplegic or having a bum leg or terminal cancer tends to do).  Not an SSA reviewer myself, but I CAN see why they'd be giving that particular claim a wee bit more scrutiny than most--as it does throw up some real flags that have been associated with SSDI fraud.)

He also, apparently, has a real habit of representing himself in court--which honestly is never, ever a good sign especially in dealing with the courts.
 
2013-07-27 12:21:03 AM  
fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net
 
2013-07-27 12:23:41 AM  
Sounds like a Santorum supporter.
 
Ral
2013-07-27 12:42:08 AM  

Great Porn Dragon: Ral: Great Porn Dragon: Oh, and Granny Shiatter is not only not exactly NOT unfamiliar with the courts but may have a bit of a history with them :D

Apparently one of Granny Shiatter's previous lost cases where he tried to file for SSDI was where he claimed he was disabled due to a personality disorder (nah, can't imagine THAT at all, can we?).   He's been repeatedly told "No, finish your other methods of appeals first" (including at least once before the Granny Shiat Incident; likely said incident happened when he was appealing being told "no" again; the latest non-Granny-Shiatter case I can find in relation to the guy is where he tried to sue the Social Security Administrator in charge of his case for saying "no, damnit"; I'll note that he has done this multiple times, each time having it dismissed).  This court case (where he was formally adjuged a Granny Shiatter in the eyes of the law) apparently was an appeal from the initial case where he was charged with Malicious Fecal Distribution,

And apparently the guy is also bugfark nuts enough TO have done Malicious Fecal Distribution, seeing as he has had at least one EPO put out on him back in 2006 (we know this because he tried to sue to get it dismissed--the courts said no).

Nope, can't imagine that the Granny Shiatter Incident was anything but an accident (teehee)...

I can't actually read any of that case information...a subscription to PACER is required?  Also, what's an EPO?  Emergency Protective Order?  And he's done the granny shiatting before?

For a fair amount of the stuff involving the SSDI stuffle, there really isn't a free source available (unfortunately).  As for EPO, that's Emergency Protection Order.

And whilst I hadn't mentioned him doing a previous Granny Shiatter Incident (it's more that there have been two court cases over the same incident--he got charged with it once, he appealed, lost, appealed AGAIN, and most recently lost again)...well...the most recent court ruling (re the Granny Shiatt ...


So basically the guy is a professional asshole.

Thanks for the explanation of his prior history with the legal system.
 
2013-07-27 01:13:31 AM  
There's a crapper in Trogir, Croatia that is still not totally sanitary due to my traveler's diarrhea. Sorry, who ever had to clean that. It wasn't on purpose. My American bowels ran into some slavic bug that rung me out.
 
2013-07-27 01:20:20 AM  
Ha!  You should have seen the look on the monkey's face.
 
2013-07-27 01:20:29 AM  
They could have gotten the 50 page report down to 25 pages if they used two-ply paper.
 
2013-07-27 01:27:31 AM  
 
2013-07-27 01:42:15 AM  

SuddenlySamhain: cretinbob: SuddenlySamhain: Did Ted Nugent crap on stage or something?
I almost dont want to know but im curious

He shiat his pants to get out of having to go to Viet Nam. He's a draft dodger.. and shiat his pants to do it. on purpose.

no shiat?


sorry


seriously though, I didnt know that


He got drafted, and showed up to whatever they called MEPS (Military Entrance Processing Station) back in the day.  He claimed he prepared by not bathing and deliberately shiatting himself for two weeks, then showed up with his draft notice mumbling to himself.  He was immediately flagged as unfit for military service and sent home.  He bragged about that was how he got out of Vietnam for years.  Right around the time he re-invented himself of a patriotic, right-wing gun nut, he started claiming he was "kidding" and only told that story to "fark with some hippie reporter from High Times," despite repeating the same story to a reporter from The Detroit Free Press, and a few other legitimate news agencies.

He originally had a student deferment as a "full time college student" despite bragging that he was on tour and did over 300 shows a year while "a full time time college student."

After his fraudulent student deferment ran out, he was reclassified as medically unfit for service.  In all of his "I was just kidding" retractions, he has never given an explanation as to why he was classified as 4F.
 
2013-07-27 01:46:51 AM  

Ral: So basically the guy is a professional asshole.

Thanks for the explanation of his prior history with the legal system.


"Professional asshole" is about as succinct a way as one could probably put it. :D  (I'd probably say more "Guy with an innate gift for Advanced Assholery attempting to be an Asshole in the Court System so as to be paid with tax dollars to be a Professional Asshole", but "Professional asshole" sums it up even more nicely, I think.)

(Of course, I also get a bit grouchy re folks like this because it's one of those things that does make it harder for folks who legitimately NEED SSDI to get it...to the point pretty much you don't get it on the first try unless there's something so blatantly obvious that it'd be hard to reject (say, on the level of "kid is profoundly intellectually disabled and suffers severe physical disabilities as well to the point that kid is less counting to potato and instead is potato" level of things--and even that they tend to give a hairy eyeball to make sure kid really Is Potato and is not somehow capable of somehow learning to Count To Potato and thus placeable in a work setting at the local Burger Thing).  And yes, I've known folks who do Need It and have gotten it...after two years of appeals.  They also did the Smart Things of a) Not Being A Professional Asshole, b) Hiring A Disability Lawyer On Contingency, and c) Made Sure Their Attorney Filed Necessary Appeals Paperwork On A Timely Basis. :D)
 
2013-07-27 01:55:28 AM  

Sgt Otter: After his fraudulent student deferment ran out, he was reclassified as medically unfit for service. In all of his "I was just kidding" retractions, he has never given an explanation as to why he was classified as 4F.


And considering that ol' Ted has always been, erm, rather athletic on stage (enough where the usual 4F reasons like "uncorrectable visual deficit", "flat feet", and "asthma" don't really seem to apply too much) one would think that the 4F was for something psychiatric...could well have been the "Let's pretend to be the pants-shiatting homeless guy who insists the CIA put a laser in his butt", could well have been drugs or moral turpitude (ol' Ted DID have quite a thing for "even Motley Crue in their heyday would consider them underage" Just-Hit-Puberty types to the point he married one of his underage girlfriends after having her parents consent, also apparently heavy drug use or multiple uses of certain psychoactive drugs was considered a 4F condition).

/suspects he really did do the Pants-Shiatting Homeless Guy schtick and now claims it was a "ha ha only serious" thing now that he's gone full John Bircher
 
2013-07-27 02:02:25 AM  
"The momentous importance of this case surely forecasts its deserved place in the annals of federal prosecutorial history."

/damn, wasn't the first.
 
2013-07-27 02:25:16 AM  

Rik01: After due consideration of the evidence and statements presented to me, I find the defendant not guilty of malicious defecation but hold him responsible for failing to report a health hazard.

Basically a $100 fine. He really should have quietly notified someone of the mess in the toilet, apologized, accepted responsibility and left and no one would have made a big embarrassing fuss about it.

Courthouse bathrooms should have drains installed in the floors, like in most bars. This is so the place can be sluiced down quickly and easily.


i'm pretty sure they do (2 or more fixtures require a floor drain by code), most likely a couple floor drains with a hose bibb in there too.  grab a hose, mask, pair of boots and spray it down.
 
2013-07-27 03:06:56 AM  
Is this article about Ted Nugent?
 
2013-07-27 03:21:04 AM  
"He unequivocally denied deliberately putting excrement on federal property. "I would never do that; that is so nasty. I just - I mean, I was just - trying to touching myself trying to clean myself up I was - I was grossed out, it was like just cleaning myself. I can't imagine any human being that would deliberately smear anything of that-" he testified. "My intentions were my persons. I wasn't thinking anything about the bathroom floor."

What's the problem here?  This is the kind of thing that 0fuk0 and his homo brigades would say is brave.  This is what homos like.
 
2013-07-27 04:56:48 AM  
My first job after high school was courtesy clerk for a grocery chain. Someone would smear crap on the bathroom walls in one or the other restrooms at least once a month. Sometimes they drew nooses and swastikas. I hate humans.
 
2013-07-27 08:07:07 AM  

sharphead: Jon iz teh kewl: was it a jail bathroom?  in jail that was the first time i ever bled out of my ass

the rapists were so fast i had no chance to stop em

It's hard to keep your legs together isn't it? We understand.


they actually have a watch that freezes time in jail (a clockstopper).
 
2013-07-27 09:23:26 AM  

Shadow Blasko: GoBoutChaBusiness: Had the unfortunate experience of walking into a bathroom at the Ramada in Grove City, OH that must have used the same decorator. The guy must have stood on a ladder to get such incredible height. It was quite the fecal feat.

Anyway, that Ramada has since been razed. I wonder if it is because of crap like that.

Stringtown Ramada?

/sorry about that


Stringtown Rd sounds correct. I was only passing through. This incident encouraged me to pass through a little faster. There was a White Castle across the street - perhaps they were related.
 
2013-07-27 10:20:25 AM  

Ral: I can't actually read any of that case information...a subscription to PACER is required? Also, what's an EPO? Emergency Protective Order? And he's done the granny shiatting before?


Yeah, federal court docs need a subscription.  You pay by your searches, not a monthly fee.  If your bill is small enough they throw it away.  Thus the lawyers pay, the individual that needs to look up a few pages doesn't.
 
2013-07-27 10:21:20 AM  
Was it malicious defecation?
 
2013-07-27 09:47:24 PM  

Great Porn Dragon: Sgt Otter: After his fraudulent student deferment ran out, he was reclassified as medically unfit for service. In all of his "I was just kidding" retractions, he has never given an explanation as to why he was classified as 4F.

And considering that ol' Ted has always been, erm, rather athletic on stage (enough where the usual 4F reasons like "uncorrectable visual deficit", "flat feet", and "asthma" don't really seem to apply too much) one would think that the 4F was for something psychiatric...could well have been the "Let's pretend to be the pants-shiatting homeless guy who insists the CIA put a laser in his butt", could well have been drugs or moral turpitude (ol' Ted DID have quite a thing for "even Motley Crue in their heyday would consider them underage" Just-Hit-Puberty types to the point he married one of his underage girlfriends after having her parents consent, also apparently heavy drug use or multiple uses of certain psychoactive drugs was considered a 4F condition).

/suspects he really did do the Pants-Shiatting Homeless Guy schtick and now claims it was a "ha ha only serious" thing now that he's gone full John Bircher


One of his long standing claims is that he has never used drugs.

I tend to believe the crappy pants story.

Still like some of his music. Homebound is a favorite. It really shows that he knows more than two chords.
 
2013-07-28 01:38:10 AM  
When I worked at Kinko's we used to have a guy who came in late at night sometimes to sleep in one of the chairs and use the bathroom.  He was clearly homeless -- wearing about 8 layers of clothes regardless of the season with items stuffed inside, the same green sweatshirt and filthy socks on top every time we saw him, pushing a small cart full of assorted who-knows-what, and stinking of crusted dried sweat and old urine.  But he seemed to be a little slow mentally, and we all felt kinda bad for the guy, so as long as nobody else was around we'd let him sit quietly.

One day I came in and was told he was BANNED from using the bathroom.  Apparently the night before he'd spent an hour in there decorating every reachable surface with shiat.  They had to close it off and call in a professional crew with bunnysuits for cleanup.

That very night he came in and the first thing he wanted was to use the bathroom "to take medication" (he had never mentioned medication before, ever).  I fobbed some story about the water being busted on him and he went away and I don't recall seeing him any more after that (although I transferred to another store not long after, so who knows...)
 
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