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(Salon)   "The relevant question is not whether he purposefully defecated his pants, but whether he willfully spread his feces all over the bathroom resulting in a nuisance, hazard, and damage,"   (salon.com) divider line 95
    More: Sick, civil cases, majority opinions, dissenting opinions  
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4892 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Jul 2013 at 9:07 PM (52 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



95 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-07-26 07:44:24 PM
Another Ted Nugent thread?
 
2013-07-26 07:48:24 PM

Mentat: Another Ted Nugent thread?


He brought it on himself. Twice.

Some things would have been forgotten 40 years ago if he hadn't tried to wave the "RAH RAH TROOPS GUNZ GRRR" flag.

/DNRTFA
 
2013-07-26 08:15:27 PM
POOP THREAD!

files.abovetopsecret.com
 
2013-07-26 08:17:02 PM
Anyone who doesn't fully trust the integrity of their gastrointestinal system would be well-advised to stay far away from federal buildings the fark home.
 
2013-07-26 08:25:15 PM
I need to see pictures before I pass judgement on this guy.
 
2013-07-26 08:31:43 PM
POOP THREAD!!!
i.imgur.com
 
2013-07-26 08:34:54 PM
Had this happen at a strip joint I worked at 20 some years ago.
Some old guy with a prosthetic leg had been drinking draft beer all day, when he went to the men's room and let 'er rip.
Shiat everywhere. Floor, walls, toilet, sink. Everywhere but the ceiling.
The old guy just walked out mumbling "Problem with my leg in the restroom..."
 
2013-07-26 08:42:21 PM
southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com
 
2013-07-26 08:47:43 PM

Mentat: Another Ted Nugent thread?


I'm pleased to see that this is the initial comment.
 
2013-07-26 08:56:14 PM
His defense stinks.
 
2013-07-26 09:10:53 PM
Read this earlier and couldn't believe the court devoted 50+ pages to it.
 
2013-07-26 09:14:08 PM

you are a puppet: Read this earlier and couldn't believe the court devoted 50+ pages to it.


Seems to me that 50+ pages wasn't enough to begin with.
 
2013-07-26 09:14:32 PM
Dear Penthouse,
  I never thought this would happen to me, but....
 
2013-07-26 09:14:35 PM

Mentat: Another Ted Nugent thread?


Well, he did predict he would be in jail by this time
 
2013-07-26 09:15:05 PM

Mentat: Another Ted Nugent thread?


Instant gratification!
 
2013-07-26 09:15:52 PM

Pray 4 Mojo: you are a puppet: Read this earlier and couldn't believe the court devoted 50+ pages to it.

Seems to me that 50+ pages wasn't enough to begin with.


Cat Scratch Fever does not need to be 50+ pages long.
 
2013-07-26 09:18:05 PM
www.washingtonpost.com
 
2013-07-26 09:20:14 PM
was it a jail bathroom?  in jail that was the first time i ever bled out of my ass

the rapists were so fast i had no chance to stop em
 
2013-07-26 09:22:45 PM
I just have a feeling that if you're on an appellate court, dealing with really technical matters of law, you'd jump at the chance to write a 50 page description of someone shiatting themselves.
 
2013-07-26 09:22:46 PM

unlikely: Mentat: Another Ted Nugent thread?

He brought it on himself. Twice.

Some things would have been forgotten 40 years ago if he hadn't tried to wave the "RAH RAH TROOPS GUNZ GRRR" flag.

/DNRTFA


Nugent lost all credibility when he fired his band that made him successful as a solo artist for the unforgivable sin of writing good songs and getting attention. He is an asshole of the nth degree.
 
2013-07-26 09:24:04 PM
Did I just read that whole article? Dear God.

/ chunky peanut butter
 
2013-07-26 09:25:28 PM

Mentat: Another Ted Nugent thread?


Please note that this is the first time I've ever said "Finished in one."
 
2013-07-26 09:26:46 PM
25.media.tumblr.com

Purposefully defecated.
 
2013-07-26 09:27:37 PM

FloydA: Mentat: Another Ted Nugent thread?

Please note that this is the first time I've ever said "Finished in one."


Me too

Finished in one
 
2013-07-26 09:31:14 PM
Woohoo! Way to go Portland! We finally made the main page!
 
2013-07-26 09:32:16 PM

Lsherm: POOP THREAD!

[files.abovetopsecret.com image 224x163]


How could this not be the most epic poop story ever? Only 24 comments in what could be the most epic poop thread ever? Farkers, I am disappoint.
 
2013-07-26 09:32:28 PM
FTA: "seventy-five percent of the floor was covered in feces" while more was "smeared more than two feet up on the walls" and "on the paper towel and toilet paper dispensers, on the toilet paper itself, and on part of the toilet seat and the left side of the toilet bowl," according to the opinion.

Oh, so your standard Walmart bathroom shiatter?
I'm all for people that pull shiat like this being charged!
 
2013-07-26 09:33:26 PM
Did Ted Nugent crap on stage or something?
I almost dont want to know but im curious
 
2013-07-26 09:34:06 PM
Torruella delves into the context of the cleaning lady's use of the term "smear" in her testimony, noting that while the majority interpreted the word to mean it was intentional, she had actually described it as "not necessarily like finger smears but just chunks - chunks and smears, pretty much, kind of like chunky peanut butter."

I read this while having a nice bowl of clam chowder and put it aside for awhile.
 
2013-07-26 09:37:02 PM
A few years ago I visited my old university faculty building. In the washroom was a sign above the toilet that said "please defecate in the toilet".

\ business major.
 
2013-07-26 09:37:45 PM

berylman: Torruella delves into the context of the cleaning lady's use of the term "smear" in her testimony, noting that while the majority interpreted the word to mean it was intentional, she had actually described it as "not necessarily like finger smears but just chunks - chunks and smears, pretty much, kind of like chunky peanut butter."

I read this while having a nice bowl of clam chowder and put it aside for awhile.


Let me tell you about the wildest bukkake video I ever saw online...
 
2013-07-26 09:38:25 PM
I eagerly await the German-made porn of it.

No I don't.

And I like how the article's exposition of the event begins with "he was in court FOR AN UNRELATED CIVIL CASE when...".

I should certainly hope so!
 
2013-07-26 09:39:13 PM

berylman: Torruella delves into the context of the cleaning lady's use of the term "smear" in her testimony, noting that while the majority interpreted the word to mean it was intentional, she had actually described it as "not necessarily like finger smears but just chunks - chunks and smears, pretty much, kind of like chunky peanut butter."

I read this while having a nice bowl of clam chowder and put it aside for awhile.


WHO WANTS CHOWDER?!
 
2013-07-26 09:42:35 PM
images3.wikia.nocookie.net

No, no! It was literally, only on the floor! Alright-there was no attempt to get near the toilet! I-i-its like they just, pressed their buttocks against the wall! The only part of the floor that didn't have poo on it was the part that had a baby on it!
 
2013-07-26 09:42:43 PM
hecho en uno
 
2013-07-26 09:44:51 PM
Mmmmm, chunky peanut butter...

Why yes, I devoured every sordid detail of the article.
 
2013-07-26 09:45:45 PM
For the purposes of this thread I'll be content to just lurk and read in wonder of those better schooled in the various laws of defecation, decoration, and decorum.
 
2013-07-26 09:46:37 PM
After due consideration of the evidence and statements presented to me, I find the defendant not guilty of malicious defecation but hold him responsible for failing to report a health hazard.

Basically a $100 fine. He really should have quietly notified someone of the mess in the toilet, apologized, accepted responsibility and left and no one would have made a big embarrassing fuss about it.

Courthouse bathrooms should have drains installed in the floors, like in most bars. This is so the place can be sluiced down quickly and easily.
 
2013-07-26 09:47:06 PM

BitwiseShift: For the purposes of this thread I'll be content to just lurk and read in wonder of those better schooled in the various laws of defecation, decoration, and decorum santorum.

FTFY

 
2013-07-26 09:50:32 PM
Related CSB, or maybe G(ross)SB

I was in Tijuana and headed back (on foot) to the border when I felt it coming on. By the time I got through customs, it was surging hard. There was a McDonalds just on the other side of the border in Chula Vista. I made a b-line for the bathroom. The only stall in the bathroom was a disgusting mess. I dropped my pants and squatted as best I could over the toilet without sitting down in the filth. Let's just say I spray painted that toilet with a fine mist of whatever I had eaten and was causing my distress. I managed to keep it off myself, and was able clean my ass. I walked straight out and never looked back. I felt sorry for the poor worker that had to clean that mess up, but it wouldn't have happened had they kept it clean in the first place.
 
2013-07-26 09:50:50 PM

Mentat: Another Ted Nugent thread?


Yep. best first post evar.. or at least this week.
 
2013-07-26 09:51:57 PM
I've worked at a public park. Anyone else who has know this happens every weekend.
 
2013-07-26 09:54:52 PM

Pray 4 Mojo: I need to see pictures before I pass judgement on this guy.


www.nndb.com

It wasn't medication, it was crab legs at the Mirage.
 
2013-07-26 09:58:52 PM

TwowheelinTim: Related CSB, or maybe G(ross)SB

I was in Tijuana and headed back (on foot) to the border when I felt it coming on. By the time I got through customs, it was surging hard. There was a McDonalds just on the other side of the border in Chula Vista. I made a b-line for the bathroom. The only stall in the bathroom was a disgusting mess. I dropped my pants and squatted as best I could over the toilet without sitting down in the filth. Let's just say I spray painted that toilet with a fine mist of whatever I had eaten and was causing my distress. I managed to keep it off myself, and was able clean my ass. I walked straight out and never looked back. I felt sorry for the poor worker that had to clean that mess up, but it wouldn't have happened had they kept it clean in the first place.


And some poor guy was paid something like $5/hr to clean it all up.

On the bright side, it probably inspired him to quit his job and study to become a doctor.

But when he realized that took some money, which he didn't have cos he'd spent his life mopping shiat for $5/hr, he probably decided instead to become a serial rapist.

That's all your fault and you should feel bad.
 
2013-07-26 10:02:06 PM

SuddenlySamhain: Did Ted Nugent crap on stage or something?
I almost dont want to know but im curious


He shiat his pants to get out of having to go to Viet Nam. He's a draft dodger.. and shiat his pants to do it. on purpose.
 
2013-07-26 10:03:30 PM

lethological_lassie: Lsherm: POOP THREAD!

[files.abovetopsecret.com image 224x163]

How could this not be the most epic poop story ever? Only 24 comments in what could be the most epic poop thread ever? Farkers, I am disappoint.


I think after reading the description in the article, most people pushed the computer away and decided that they had enough internet for the night. Either that or they are still throwing up.
 
2013-07-26 10:03:31 PM

Lsherm: POOP THREAD!

[files.abovetopsecret.com image 224x163]


DOODIE!!
 
2013-07-26 10:05:17 PM
You're all welcome
 
2013-07-26 10:09:43 PM
Imagine the jail cell after 7 days. Did he have a cell mate?
 
2013-07-26 10:10:35 PM

ongbok: lethological_lassie: Lsherm: POOP THREAD!

[files.abovetopsecret.com image 224x163]

How could this not be the most epic poop story ever? Only 24 comments in what could be the most epic poop thread ever? Farkers, I am disappoint.

I think after reading the description in the article, most people pushed the computer away and decided that they had enough internet for the night. Either that or they are still throwing up.


No, the Nugent comment killed it. You can't top that.
 
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