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(SeattlePI)   'God has plans' for Mormon missionary who survived horrific Spanish train wreck, apparently unlike those eighty people who didn't   (seattlepi.com) divider line 123
    More: Followup, Utah, Spanish, Spanish train wreck, Mormons, train crash, missionary  
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2074 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Jul 2013 at 1:23 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



123 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-07-26 11:04:34 AM
Yes, the magic underwear works, thanks to "my" god.
 
2013-07-26 11:13:26 AM
He sounds white and delightsome.
 
2013-07-26 11:20:40 AM
God saved me from this tragic accident he in no way created or allowed to kill all these other people.
 
2013-07-26 11:20:50 AM
From a religious standpoint, I'd like to say that God has something in store for me and that there's a reason I'm still here,

nekom: He sounds white and delightsome.


Indeed.

His god is a major asshole. I'd rather the GOP rule the heavens and the earth over their god.
 
2013-07-26 11:38:06 AM

James!: God saved me from this tragic accident he in no way created or allowed to kill all these other people.


Joseph Smith is his conductor. Toot toot!
 
2013-07-26 11:53:36 AM
If you think about it, God was really being kind of a dick that day.
 
2013-07-26 11:57:14 AM
wait
didnt god decide that Rmoney was going to be president and make the US a christian nation??
 
2013-07-26 12:03:01 PM

James!: God saved me from this tragic accident he in no way created or allowed to kill all these other people.


You know, the more I get to know him, the more I realize that this "God" character is a real dick.
 
2013-07-26 12:03:03 PM
'God has plans' for Mormon missionary who survived horrific Spanish train wreck

You know how many people doing "God's work" weren't in a horrific train wreck that day?

God wanted you to take you a hint to just quit it, and now you're doing the complete opposite.
 
2013-07-26 12:12:03 PM
Benevolent Misanthrope:
You know, the more I get to know him, the more I realize that this "God" character is a real dick.

So he DOES belong in a woman's vagina?  Checkmate, libtards.
 
2013-07-26 12:16:02 PM

nekom: Benevolent Misanthrope:
You know, the more I get to know him, the more I realize that this "God" character is a real dick.

So he DOES belong in a woman's vagina?  Checkmate, libtards.


Only if she invites him.  Fark you and the horse you rode in on, "legitimate rape" Republitards.
 
2013-07-26 12:28:11 PM
Benevolent Misanthrope:
Only if she invites him.  Fark you and the horse you rode in on, "legitimate rape" Republitards.

I wasn't being serious, by the way.
 
2013-07-26 12:43:57 PM

nekom: Benevolent Misanthrope:
Only if she invites him.  Fark you and the horse you rode in on, "legitimate rape" Republitards.

I wasn't being serious, by the way.


I know.  The "F*ck you" was aimed past you to the GOP base.
 
2013-07-26 12:45:02 PM
FTFA: "Not many people come that close to death twice before age 20"

Obviously God had plans for the ones that died, too. He wanted to see them in Heaven.

Face it, Magic Underwear Boy. You got rejected by God, not once, but twice.
 
2013-07-26 12:51:29 PM
God certainly does work in "mysterious" ways.

"Mysterious" meaning "not doing anything for us, good or bad."

/Deist
 
2013-07-26 01:01:08 PM

namatad: wait
didnt god decide that Rmoney was going to be president and make the US a christian nation??


Mormons aren't Christians, are they?
 
2013-07-26 01:02:26 PM

Speaker2Animals: namatad: wait
didnt god decide that Rmoney was going to be president and make the US a christian nation??

Mormons aren't Christians, are they?


Most Christians aren't either, so it's not a big deal.
 
2013-07-26 01:06:40 PM
Nope, God was pretty much done with the rest of them.
 
2013-07-26 01:14:16 PM
Speaker2Animals:
Mormons aren't Christians, are they?

Well, they believe in Jesus, it's just that they also believe he appeared in the Americas and talked to the lost tribes of Israel that somehow became Native Americans, that God was just one of many gods and he may have many wives.  It's Christian in a sense that Christianity is Jewish.
 
2013-07-26 01:24:49 PM
I'd love to call this dork up and tell him I'm God and No, I Don't and STFU.
 
2013-07-26 01:24:56 PM

MrBallou: FTFA: "Not many people come that close to death twice before age 20"

Obviously God had plans for the ones that died, too. He wanted to see them in Heaven.

Face it, Magic Underwear Boy. You got rejected by God, not once, but twice.


Maybe his god's got crappy aim.
 
2013-07-26 01:25:25 PM
s.gullipics.com
 
2013-07-26 01:26:55 PM

James!: God saved me from this tragic accident he in no way created or allowed to kill all these other people.


Yep. This kind of shiat really bugs me about "people of faith". I called my mom to check on her when all those tornados plowed through Alabama a few years ago. She told me that they were fine and "God kept them safe". That really pissed me off. I told her I wondered what God had against the hundreds of families whose homes were destroyed in the tornados.
 
2013-07-26 01:27:19 PM
That guy's gotta be disappointed, he didn't get to go to his private planet God has all set up for him.
 
2013-07-26 01:27:42 PM
The other people on that train had consumed caffeinated beverages, and thus were sinners not worthy of the Kingdom of God.
 
2013-07-26 01:28:33 PM
The news showed this story last night.  It also mentioned some catholic church folk died during the incident.

I looked at my wife and told her, "You how I know there is no god?  The Mormon lived."
 
2013-07-26 01:29:46 PM

nekom: Speaker2Animals:
Mormons aren't Christians, are they?

Well, they believe in Jesus, it's just that they also believe he appeared in the Americas and talked to the lost tribes of Israel that somehow became Native Americans, that God was just one of many gods and he may have many wives.  It's Christian in a sense that Christianity is Jewish.


Mesh. Everyone knows that Jesus faked his death and died of old age in Japan.
 
2013-07-26 01:31:25 PM

NutWrench: If you think about it, God was really being kind of a dick that day.


God is a dick every single day, or more accurately, he's "mysterious". As in "it's a mystery why God is such a dick all the time".

/agnostic
 
2013-07-26 01:32:35 PM
The Ferrocaril of San Luis Rey just doesn't have the same ring to it.
 
2013-07-26 01:33:43 PM
Well, now I know how to find the bitter fark assholes. Just find a Mormon thread.

You people suck.
 
2013-07-26 01:33:53 PM
i1345.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-26 01:34:47 PM
"I see plans within plans..."

top50sf.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-07-26 01:34:49 PM

Via Infinito: James!: God saved me from this tragic accident he in no way created or allowed to kill all these other people.

Yep. This kind of shiat really bugs me about "people of faith". I called my mom to check on her when all those tornados plowed through Alabama a few years ago. She told me that they were fine and "God kept them safe". That really pissed me off. I told her I wondered what God had against the hundreds of families whose homes were destroyed in the tornados.


You get to think without any real life effort that you are better than the others because a weather phenomenon/train derailment missed you as it destroyed everything around you.
 
2013-07-26 01:36:03 PM
The Big Guy is like your worst boss. Piles heaps of crap on you and you're expected to take it and get stronger, but all credit for positive results goes straight to Him.
 
2013-07-26 01:36:47 PM
If you've ever had the misfortune to be obliquely involved with some Mormon kid about to be on, or on, his mission - that's all they can do is spout crap about faith and god and purpose and so forth.  They are being mentally conditioned every minute of every day to relate every minutia of everyday life to god and religion.  If they got a pretty good turkey sandwich, they would (totally serious here) mention how god had clearly favored their lunch today and blessed this wonderful turkey sandwich and we should all glorify his name.
 
2013-07-26 01:36:59 PM
You're just painting a big old "Smite Me" on your back.

and / or

I got to work today without getting killed by a giant space rock. God must want me to sit in the cubicle and post stuff to Fark. Thy will be done, oh lord. Thy will be done.

Or perhaps the Lord desires I should browse for images of Jennifer Anniston. What is thy will? Looketh! I opened a Firefox tab and typed "Image" and lo! Google Image search appeareth.

We are doing God's work on thy dime of thou regular employer.
 
2013-07-26 01:38:49 PM
I understand searching for answers in life
I understand searching for a reason when something terrible happens

I do not farking get when you attribute a life saved amid horrific death and chaos
to you being farking special because your singular deity
out of an infinite pantheon of deities
was the right one to worship
because they/it needs you alive

that's the greatest vanity ever
 
2013-07-26 01:40:21 PM

happydude45: Well, now I know how to find the bitter fark assholes. Just find a Mormon thread.

You people suck.


I was amused by the guy who was reading the Blaze yesterday at work.

See? I can be happy in seeing someone else buying bullsh*t by the gallon.
 
2013-07-26 01:40:31 PM

happydude45: Well, now I know how to find the bitter fark assholes.


By opening any thread about any subject at any time?  You really found the needle in the giant factory dedicated to the manufacturing of needles.
 
2013-07-26 01:43:05 PM
Putting on my devil's-advocate hat for a moment, the thing about plans is that they have goals. At some point, they finish. If we assume that God has plans for people, what happens when they finish their plans?
 
2013-07-26 01:43:46 PM
Please, go tell the families of the deceased how God spared you, yet killed their loved ones.

Wasn't there a religious group on that train? Guess they just didn't pray hard enough. *eyeroll*
 
2013-07-26 01:44:10 PM

nekom: the lost tribes of Israel that somehow became Native Americans


"I brought in a Rabbi all the way from Carson city and had him talk Hebrew at that old chief for nigh on five hours and he acted like he didn't understand a single word!"
/obscure?
 
2013-07-26 01:44:43 PM
A mission to Orlando?

Sea World and Disney,
Putt putt,
golfing
 
2013-07-26 01:44:59 PM
He still has to fly back to the states, I would avoid that plane.
 
2013-07-26 01:45:13 PM
"From a religious standpoint, I'd like to say that God has something in store for me and that there's a reason I'm still here,"

He just gave you a taste of what's in store for you - and apparently not for the fist time, either. You should count yourself warned instead of lucky.

/I mean, God COULD have just let you miss the train, for example
 
2013-07-26 01:46:03 PM
God let 3000 people die ghastly deaths by fire, fumes, and falling...

i40.tinypic.com

But criss-crossed I beams? Holy sh*t, it's a f*cking miracle!

Yes, I do find this line of thinking blindingly stupid. Why do you ask?
 
2013-07-26 01:46:36 PM

Millennium: Putting on my devil's-advocate hat for a moment, the thing about plans is that they have goals. At some point, they finish. If we assume that God has plans for people, what happens when they finish their plans?


Why, some fellow wrote a book that suggested that very thing. Also, look at Patton and Lincoln.
 
2013-07-26 01:47:21 PM
Never occurs to him that Moroni engineered the crash, killing all those people, just to make him feel a little more self-righteous.
 
2013-07-26 01:49:25 PM

FormlessOne: Never occurs to him that Moroni engineered the crash, killing all those people, just to make him feel a little more self-righteous.


God is like an overactive secret admirer.

"I killed 80 people just to tell you I think you're special" *wink*
 
2013-07-26 01:49:57 PM

happydude45: Well, now I know how to find the bitter fark assholes. Just find a Mormon thread.

You people suck.


dont go away butthurt

/just go away
 
2013-07-26 01:51:54 PM

youncasqua: But criss-crossed I beams? Holy sh*t, it's a f*cking miracle!

Yes, I do find this line of thinking blindingly stupid. Why do you ask?


You have to admit, from a marketing standpoint, the cross is very effective at visual branding. You can find a cross just about anywhere you look. So obviously, Jesus is too. It's a miracle!
 
2013-07-26 01:51:57 PM
He can't get laid until his mission is over.
You betcha God has plans ... for his PENIS!
 
2013-07-26 01:52:16 PM
Well he is a child of a ship captain and his son who flew their Angel crewed fleet to earth, and said let there be multiple wives.
 
2013-07-26 01:53:12 PM
Oh sure, the videos of their belief system which is wacky even by standard Christian standards probably doesn't boil down to what I just typed.  But I'm laughing anyway.
 
2013-07-26 01:54:11 PM
God®  works in mysterious ways...
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com

"There's nothing mysterious about being an A**hole!"
 
2013-07-26 01:54:43 PM

happydude45: Well, now I know how to find the bitter fark assholes. Just find a Mormon thread.


Yes, we suck. The guy who takes a terrible tragedy and makes it all about how farking special he is, he's a standup farking bloke.
 
2013-07-26 01:56:06 PM
Also, can't God keep his own holy places free from terrible accidents?

Or maybe it's a message: that pilgrims ought to be on foot.
 
2013-07-26 02:01:59 PM
Maybe God hates trains.  This man is interpreting it all wrong.
 
2013-07-26 02:02:49 PM
"I count myself very lucky and very blessed to have been able to survive so many things."

bobkaylor.typepad.com

"damn, missed again!"
 
2013-07-26 02:04:34 PM

nekom: Speaker2Animals:
Mormons aren't Christians, are they?

Well, they believe in Jesus, it's just that they also believe he appeared in the Americas and talked to the lost tribes of Israel that somehow became Native Americans, that God was just one of many gods and he may have many wives.  It's Christian in a sense that Christianity is Jewish.


It's more complicated than that; the Christian God is triune, i.e. God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit are  simultaneously distinct but unified in the One God; the Mormon God the Father is the literal father of God the Son, and is similarly distinct from the Holy Spirit.  As such, there is no triune god in Mormonism.

The Mormon godhead has basically nothing in common with the Christian godhead except their described actions in the New and Old Testaments.
 
2013-07-26 02:07:00 PM
Leave it to FARK to take it completely out of context.

Missionary: I just survived a gruesome accident and I'm lucky to be alive, there must be some reason I'm still here.

Fark: OMG he hates other people!! Mormons are weird! Wharrgarbl!

Stay classy, Farkers.

What I want to know is, where was his companion?
 
2013-07-26 02:08:06 PM

James!: happydude45: Well, now I know how to find the bitter fark assholes.

By opening any thread about any subject at any time?  You really found the needle in the giant factory dedicated to the manufacturing of needles.


I like that. I'm gonna use it.
 
2013-07-26 02:09:18 PM

ltomberry: Leave it to FARK to take it completely out of context.

Missionary: I just survived a gruesome accident and I'm lucky to be alive, there must be some reason I'm still here.

Fark: OMG he hates other people!! Mormons are weird! Wharrgarbl!

Stay classy, Farkers.

What I want to know is, where was his companion?


God didn't have a plan for him, outside of composting.
 
2013-07-26 02:10:15 PM
i2.listal.com
 
2013-07-26 02:14:24 PM

scottydoesntknow: James!: happydude45: Well, now I know how to find the bitter fark assholes.

By opening any thread about any subject at any time?  You really found the needle in the giant factory dedicated to the manufacturing of needles.

I like that. I'm gonna use it.


I was pretty pleased about it.
 
2013-07-26 02:15:02 PM

ltomberry: Leave it to FARK to take it completely out of context.

Missionary: I just survived a gruesome accident and I'm lucky to be alive, there must be some reason I'm still here,

unlike all those who died.

The implication is right there. He may not hate other people, but I can't say it's not weird.

/just don't let him speak at any of their funerals
 
2013-07-26 02:37:20 PM

James!: happydude45: Well, now I know how to find the bitter fark assholes.

By opening any thread about any subject at any time?  You really found the needle in the giant factory dedicated to the manufacturing of needles.


Well, that sews it all up nicely.

/thread... needle... get it?
//here all week, tip the veal, try your waitress
 
2013-07-26 02:38:49 PM

HotIgneous Intruder: He can't get laid until his mission is over.


That's not what I've heard...

There's a whole greeting card industry in UT for Mo stuff, especially for boys leaving on their missions.  There are also joke greeting cards that parody those, including one that read (guessing from memory):

"Good luck on your Mission - Don't come back Gay!"

(Implying that sending two horny teenage boys on a trip together can turn into a hand-job fiesta)
 
2013-07-26 02:41:45 PM

Lando Lincoln: Speaker2Animals: namatad: wait
didnt god decide that Rmoney was going to be president and make the US a christian nation??

Mormons aren't Christians, are they?

Most Christians aren't either, so it's not a big deal.


LOL
 
2013-07-26 02:58:56 PM
FTFA: "Not many people come that close to death twice before age 20"

Maybe god is after him and just has lousy aim.
 
2013-07-26 03:01:43 PM

scottydoesntknow: James!: happydude45: Well, now I know how to find the bitter fark assholes.

By opening any thread about any subject at any time?  You really found the needle in the giant factory dedicated to the manufacturing of needles.

I like that. I'm gonna use it.


Yes, that was excellent indeed.
 
2013-07-26 03:05:12 PM

noitsnot: If you've ever had the misfortune to be obliquely involved with some Mormon kid about to be on, or on, his mission - that's all they can do is spout crap about faith and god and purpose and so forth.  They are being mentally conditioned every minute of every day to relate every minutia of everyday life to god and religion.  If they got a pretty good turkey sandwich, they would (totally serious here) mention how god had clearly favored their lunch today and blessed this wonderful turkey sandwich and we should all glorify his name.


Not bad. Nice, hot mustard. Good bread. The turkey's a little dry.

....The turkey's a little dry!

What demon from the depths of hell created thee!
 
2013-07-26 03:08:44 PM

Millennium: Putting on my devil's-advocate hat for a moment, the thing about plans is that they have goals. At some point, they finish. If we assume that God has plans for people, what happens when they finish their plans?


cloud.attackofthefanboy.com
 
2013-07-26 03:09:26 PM

Detinwolf: Maybe God hates trains.  This man is interpreting it all wrong.


Reverend Lovejoy nods sad-did-diddly
 
2013-07-26 03:09:32 PM
Whenever someone says, "it was god's will" or something similar after a horrific accident or natural disaster with multiple fataliies, especially if children are involved, I say, "your god is an asshole.
 
2013-07-26 03:11:30 PM

mattharvest: nekom: Speaker2Animals:
Mormons aren't Christians, are they?

It's more complicated than that; the Christian God is triune, i.e. God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit are  simultaneously distinct but unified in the One God; the Mormon God the Father is the literal father of God the Son, and is similarly distinct from the Holy Spirit.  As such, there is no triune god in Mormonism.

The term "homoousios"

, is the key issue.  This definition of God was created at Nicea in 325 AD.  It's not biblical.  The only possible reference verses are 1John 5:7-8, which were added to the bible by Erasmus, likely because the concept of "homoousios" is not found in the bible. Google "Comma Johanneum".  Shouldn't adherents of sola scriptura exclude such additions, and stick with the bible?

/Yes, you could say Mormons are "homoousios-phobic"
//If Christians for the first three centuries AD didn't believe in the "Triune God", are you also claiming they weren't Real Christians?
 
2013-07-26 03:15:51 PM
The amount of derpy ignorance in this thread regarding Mormonism is overwhelming. Flame me all you want, but I thought 5 year olds wern't allowed on Fark. Way to show your maturity about something you know zero about.

/I know I know, "go away, we don't need non-bigoted mature people in this thread."
//enjoy your hypocritical circle jerk
 
2013-07-26 03:17:18 PM

ltomberry: Leave it to FARK to take it completely out of context.

Missionary: I just survived a gruesome accident and I'm lucky to be alive, there must be some reason I'm still here.

Fark: OMG he hates other people!! Mormons are weird! Wharrgarbl!

Stay classy, Farkers.

What I want to know is, where was his companion?


No, it's not out of context. You and the Mormon are deliberately taking it out of context.

"I'm still alive! God has plans for me!"

"But what about the 80 people that died? God thought that those 80 were expendable?"

"That's not the issue, here!"
 
2013-07-26 03:18:26 PM

ltomberry: Leave it to FARK to take it completely out of context.

Missionary: I just survived a gruesome accident and I'm lucky to be alive, there must be some reason I'm still here.

Fark: OMG he hates other people!! Mormons are weird! Wharrgarbl!

Stay classy, Farkers.

What I want to know is, where was his companion?


I inferred that he was on his way to join him. It is common to travel alone during travel at the beginning and end of your mission.
 
2013-07-26 03:18:56 PM
So we can pick on Islam. We can pick on Catholics, Baptists, Hindus, Atheists, Agnostics, but swipe at Mormons and it is being mean and ignorant.

Always 'the persecuted' ...
 
2013-07-26 03:20:25 PM

ObnoxiousLonghorn: The amount of derpy ignorance in this thread regarding Mormonism is overwhelming. Flame me all you want, but I thought 5 year olds wern't allowed on Fark. Way to show your maturity about something you know zero about.

/I know I know, "go away, we don't need non-bigoted mature people in this thread."
//enjoy your hypocritical circle jerk


Please. Enlighten us.
 
2013-07-26 03:21:40 PM
I survived it too, because I wasn't on the farking train.
 
2013-07-26 03:21:44 PM
When Raymond Ward, 45, saw news of the crash on his cellphone, he figured it had nothing to do with his son. [...] "He looks terrible, but he's alive so that's good," Raymond Ward said. "When we talked with him he was in good spirits."
"After all," Mr. Ward continued, "I have 13 more at home, so missing one wouldn't have mattered that much anyhow.
 
2013-07-26 03:24:52 PM

Lando Lincoln: ltomberry: Leave it to FARK to take it completely out of context.

Missionary: I just survived a gruesome accident and I'm lucky to be alive, there must be some reason I'm still here.

Fark: OMG he hates other people!! Mormons are weird! Wharrgarbl!

Stay classy, Farkers.

What I want to know is, where was his companion?

No, it's not out of context. You and the Mormon are deliberately taking it out of context.

"I'm still alive! God has plans for me!"

"But what about the 80 people that died? God thought that those 80 were expendable?"

"That's not the issue, here!"


I understand it is difficult to see how Mormon's view God's level of "devine intervention."

Cliff Notes version: He pretty much stays out of crap, good or bad, but we still give thanks to him for the good and ask him to prevent the bad. He does not cause death or prevent it, usually, but you can't rule out the intervention.

He is like the ultimate scientist and kinda lets Earth and Humans do it's thing. This lets people feel good, bad, sadness, horror, and so on as to build experience, teach us lessons and so forth. A large factor is agency. He does not control people's actions. If Mr. Train Oporator neglected his duties, too bad, he has to live with the concequece of feeling terrible about the deaths and whatever else his punichment entails.

Hope that helps clarify the point of view of Mormons.

/Not a chruch rep, so don't quote me
 
2013-07-26 03:27:46 PM
Let me be boring.  Religious people are generally stupid.  They know nothing of Newtons Laws of acceleration/deceleration, conservation of energy, thermal properties of hydrocarbon based materials, blunt force trauma when applied to internal organs or the statistical probability of being in a train crash.  If they did, they could say "hey look, I calculated that if these events happened and I was in seat 57G of carriage 5, I might just survive" .  Instead they attribute the randomness of life to an imaginary essence called God.  Don't blame them for it, for they know not what they do (sounds familiar...)
 
2013-07-26 03:29:08 PM

Nadie_AZ: So we can pick on Islam. We can pick on Catholics, Baptists, Hindus, Atheists, Agnostics, but swipe at Mormons and it is being mean and ignorant.

Always 'the persecuted' ...


YOU can pick on whoemever you choose. It is still mean and ignorant to mock any/all of those groups regarding innocent beliefs/practices. Just becuase something is "kooky and wierd" to you, does not make it classy and mature to mock.

I don't hate on Christians, Jews, Athiets, and so on. Everyone is free to choose what to believe, and you are free to mock them. That doesn't make you right, however.
 
2013-07-26 03:31:13 PM
doblelol.com
 
2013-07-26 03:31:55 PM

I'm an excellent driver: Let me be boring.  Religious people are generally stupid.  They know nothing of Newtons Laws of acceleration/deceleration, conservation of energy, thermal properties of hydrocarbon based materials, blunt force trauma when applied to internal organs or the statistical probability of being in a train crash.  If they did, they could say "hey look, I calculated that if these events happened and I was in seat 57G of carriage 5, I might just survive" .  Instead they attribute the randomness of life to an imaginary essence called God.  Don't blame them for it, for they know not what they do (sounds familiar...)


Nice. I thought Fark was against bigoted stereotyping? While many many Religious people are un/under-educated. Many are also quite the intellectuals (not me). Your comment speaks to your incredible ignorance.
 
2013-07-26 03:32:47 PM

ObnoxiousLonghorn: I understand it is difficult to see how Mormon's view God's level of "devine intervention."

Cliff Notes version: He pretty much stays out of crap, good or bad, but we still give thanks to him for the good and ask him to prevent the bad. He does not cause death or prevent it, usually, but you can't rule out the intervention.

He is like the ultimate scientist and kinda lets Earth and Humans do it's thing. This lets people feel good, bad, sadness, horror, and so on as to build experience, teach us lessons and so forth. A large factor is agency. He does not control people's actions. If Mr. Train Oporator neglected his duties, too bad, he has to live with the concequece of feeling terrible about the deaths and whatever else his punichment entails.

Hope that helps clarify the point of view of Mormons.

/Not a chruch rep, so don't quote me


That's a great theology if you want to create an image of a God that can't be blamed for anything bad that happens, ever.

"God, please stop my house from being burned in this forest fire!"

[house doesn't burn down]

"Yay! God intervened and saved my house! God is great!"

[house burns down]

"Huh. Well...I guess God is trying to teach me a lesson through all this."
 
2013-07-26 03:34:33 PM
These beliefs are unfortunately self-reinforcing. Now this guy's going to go through life knowing that he has to be a good boy or God is going to f*ck him up.
 
2013-07-26 03:34:50 PM
God Cites 'Moving In Mysterious Ways' As Motive In Killing Of 3,000 Papua New Guineans

Though a majority of those who perished in the tsunami were non-Christians, God did kill several hundred of His followers.

"I must have faith that the Lord will help me," said Aitape Bulolo, a Protestant fisherman who spent 11 days clinging to the top of a tree while waiting for flood waters to recede and watching the hogs he raised feed upon the corpses of his family. "I know my wife and daughters are with Him now in Heaven, and that He is sparing me for some greater purpose. This horrible tragedy has only strengthened my faith. God is love."
 
2013-07-26 03:36:07 PM
"From a religious standpoint, I'd like to say that God has something in store for me and that there's a reason I'm still here," Stephen Ward said in a phone interview withThe Associated Press from La Coruna, Spain.

Too bad that cancer didn't kill you four years ago, you arrogant coont.
 
2013-07-26 03:36:19 PM
Every time some random horrible thing happens, you hear some empty-headed religionite yapping, "WELL, THANK GOD that my friend Doug only lost both legs and a quarter of his torso and both eyes, unlike the guy next to him, who was reduced to a pink goo, forcing his wife and daughter into a life of giving handjobs in filthy alleyways in order to buy crack!"  This is often followed up by something like, "THANK GOD that this cute puppy was unharmed!"

I always come away from that wondering what exactly they imagine their invisible man in the sky's motives are, and why exactly they think it makes sense to thank their invisible man for visiting horrific event X on their neighborhood but not squishing the puppy.
 
2013-07-26 03:36:52 PM

Lando Lincoln: ObnoxiousLonghorn: I understand it is difficult to see how Mormon's view God's level of "devine intervention."

Cliff Notes version: He pretty much stays out of crap, good or bad, but we still give thanks to him for the good and ask him to prevent the bad. He does not cause death or prevent it, usually, but you can't rule out the intervention.

He is like the ultimate scientist and kinda lets Earth and Humans do it's thing. This lets people feel good, bad, sadness, horror, and so on as to build experience, teach us lessons and so forth. A large factor is agency. He does not control people's actions. If Mr. Train Oporator neglected his duties, too bad, he has to live with the concequece of feeling terrible about the deaths and whatever else his punichment entails.

Hope that helps clarify the point of view of Mormons.

/Not a chruch rep, so don't quote me

That's a great theology if you want to create an image of a God that can't be blamed for anything bad that happens, ever.

"God, please stop my house from being burned in this forest fire!"

[house doesn't burn down]

"Yay! God intervened and saved my house! God is great!"

[house burns down]

"Huh. Well...I guess God is trying to teach me a lesson through all this."


/facepam...I tried. You won't touch it, but I will leave this here mormon.org
 
2013-07-26 03:40:55 PM

ObnoxiousLonghorn: Lando Lincoln: ObnoxiousLonghorn: I understand it is difficult to see how Mormon's view God's level of "devine intervention."

Cliff Notes version: He pretty much stays out of crap, good or bad, but we still give thanks to him for the good and ask him to prevent the bad. He does not cause death or prevent it, usually, but you can't rule out the intervention.

He is like the ultimate scientist and kinda lets Earth and Humans do it's thing. This lets people feel good, bad, sadness, horror, and so on as to build experience, teach us lessons and so forth. A large factor is agency. He does not control people's actions. If Mr. Train Oporator neglected his duties, too bad, he has to live with the concequece of feeling terrible about the deaths and whatever else his punichment entails.

Hope that helps clarify the point of view of Mormons.

/Not a chruch rep, so don't quote me

That's a great theology if you want to create an image of a God that can't be blamed for anything bad that happens, ever.

"God, please stop my house from being burned in this forest fire!"

[house doesn't burn down]

"Yay! God intervened and saved my house! God is great!"

[house burns down]

"Huh. Well...I guess God is trying to teach me a lesson through all this."

/facepam...I tried. You won't touch it, but I will leave this here mormon.org


Oops, my finger misclicked and the page didn't come up. Yay! God intervened and saved my browsing experience!
 
2013-07-26 03:49:40 PM

ObnoxiousLonghorn: /facepam...I tried. You won't touch it, but I will leave this here mormon.org


Yeah, no. I ain't reading more bullshiat. And it IS all bullshiat. Not just Mormonism, either.

"We are mere mortals! We can't begin to understand God's ways!"

"Yeah, well...God made us, so if He made us so defective that we can't understand His ways, then that was a pretty stupid move on God's part."
 
2013-07-26 03:50:07 PM

ObnoxiousLonghorn: He is like the ultimate scientist and kinda lets Earth and Humans do it's thing. This lets people feel good, bad, sadness, horror, and so on as to build experience, teach us lessons and so forth. A large factor is agency. He does not control people's actions. If Mr. Train Oporator neglected his duties, too bad, he has to live with the concequece of feeling terrible about the deaths and whatever else his punichment entails.


What is the fundamental difference between this and ya know - not existing ?
 
2013-07-26 03:58:04 PM

ObnoxiousLonghorn: The amount of derpy ignorance in this thread regarding Mormonism is overwhelming. Flame me all you want, but I thought 5 year olds wern't allowed on Fark. Way to show your maturity about something you know zero about.

/I know I know, "go away, we don't need non-bigoted mature people in this thread."
//enjoy your hypocritical circle jerk


frankwarner.typepad.com

"Look, maybe us Mormons do believe in crazy stories that make absolutely no sense, and maybe Joseph Smith did make it all up, but I have a great life, and a great family, and I have the Book of Mormon to thank for that. The truth is, I don't care if Joseph Smith made it all up, because what the church teaches now is loving your family, being nice and helping people. And even though people in this town might think that's stupid, I still choose to believe in it. All I ever did was try to be your friend, Stan, but you're so high and mighty you couldn't look past my religion and just be my friend back. You've got a lot of growing up to do, buddy. Suck my balls."
 
2013-07-26 03:58:45 PM
No, God expects you to have a plan.

"I give you dozens of moral teachers, an environment with everything you need to live, the most powerful brain in the animal kingdom, pose-able thumbs and you want me to do the planning for you?"
 
2013-07-26 04:01:58 PM
The Lord works in mysterious ways. The 80 deaths were part of it. Not that complicated, really.
 
2013-07-26 04:08:03 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-07-26 04:11:36 PM

Marine1: No, God expects you to have a plan.

"I give you dozens of moral teachers, an environment with everything you need to live, the most powerful brain in the animal kingdom, pose-able thumbs and you want me to do the planning for you?"


Nah. I don't believe that one. Unless you believe in god and not in religion. Religion has the plan god wants you to follow.
 
2013-07-26 04:13:38 PM

Nadie_AZ: Marine1: No, God expects you to have a plan.

"I give you dozens of moral teachers, an environment with everything you need to live, the most powerful brain in the animal kingdom, pose-able thumbs and you want me to do the planning for you?"

Nah. I don't believe that one. Unless you believe in god and not in religion. Religion has the plan god wants you to follow.


No, those would be the moral teachers. Unfortunately, some don't quite get the copyrights through on their materials and some guys go out and preach it, royalty-free, with a bunch of errors and misunderstandings... sorta like Android phones before they're rooted.
 
2013-07-26 04:32:20 PM

happydude45: Well, now I know how to find the bitter fark assholes. Just find a Mormon thread.

You people suck.


Mormon stuff is pretty ad but you should see how the Catholics get piled on.

Christians are out there saving the world and these ingrates will have none of it.
 
2013-07-26 04:34:42 PM

Chach: happydude45: Well, now I know how to find the bitter fark assholes. Just find a Mormon thread.

You people suck.

Mormon stuff is pretty ad but you should see how the Catholics get piled on.

Christians are out there saving the world and these ingrates will have none of it.


There's that humble Christlike turning of the other cheek we've heard so much about.
 
2013-07-26 04:51:57 PM

I'm an excellent driver: Newton


You do know that Newton (the guy who developed the laws that you say that the religious generally don't know) more or less did all of his physics/math/science stuff for something to do on the weekends... right? The man considered his real life's work to be philosophy (specifically, philosophic matters relating to religion) and, if he were alive today, he would make everyone short of Aleister Crowley look sane. He was big on the occult and non-Trinitarian Christianity.
 
2013-07-26 06:01:46 PM
lh3.ggpht.com

similar likelyhood
 
2013-07-26 06:42:20 PM
In fairness to the Mormon, Spain does have a nearly 30% unemployment rate, and roughly 30% of those on the train are now dead.....so maybe it was God welcoming some some Spanish to the unemployment office in the sky!
 
2013-07-26 06:46:40 PM

Marine1: Nadie_AZ: Marine1: No, God expects you to have a plan.

"I give you dozens of moral teachers, an environment with everything you need to live, the most powerful brain in the animal kingdom, pose-able thumbs and you want me to do the planning for you?"

Nah. I don't believe that one. Unless you believe in god and not in religion. Religion has the plan god wants you to follow.

No, those would be the moral teachers. Unfortunately, some don't quite get the copyrights through on their materials and some guys go out and preach it, royalty-free, with a bunch of errors and misunderstandings... sorta like Android phones before they're rooted.


What an odd, yet apt analogy.
 
2013-07-26 06:52:40 PM

Nadie_AZ: So we can pick on Islam. We can pick on Catholics, Baptists, Hindus, Atheists, Agnostics, but swipe at Mormons and it is being mean and ignorant.

Always 'the persecuted' ...


To be fair, they have had over 150 years to perfect it. They also embraced the whole "prosperity doctrine" thing way before the evangelical crazy christers and tied it directly to tithing.
 
2013-07-26 06:58:25 PM
scottydoesntknow
frankwarner.typepad.com
"Look, maybe us Mormons do believe in crazy stories that make absolutely no sense, and maybe Joseph Smith did make it all up, but I have a great life, and a great family, and I have the Book of Mormon to thank for that. The truth is, I don't care if Joseph Smith made it all up, because what the church teaches now is loving your family, being nice and helping people. And even though people in this town might think that's stupid, I still choose to believe in it. All I ever did was try to be your friend, Stan, but you're so high and mighty you couldn't look past my religion and just be my friend back. You've got a lot of growing up to do, buddy. Suck my balls."

So, you go door to door and tell lies that even you don't believe, and that's okay because you're "nice?"  Your church tears families apart if they dare to try to leave but that's okay because you're "friendly?"  You're so screwed up you think that a pleasing exterior can hide a corrupted soul.  Tell you what buddy.  When you can act normal, without a freakish and manipulative "church" that makes you do it.  You come back and see me.
 
2013-07-26 07:04:00 PM

tinyarena: scottydoesntknow
[frankwarner.typepad.com image 300x231]
"Look, maybe us Mormons do believe in crazy stories that make absolutely no sense, and maybe Joseph Smith did make it all up, but I have a great life, and a great family, and I have the Book of Mormon to thank for that. The truth is, I don't care if Joseph Smith made it all up, because what the church teaches now is loving your family, being nice and helping people. And even though people in this town might think that's stupid, I still choose to believe in it. All I ever did was try to be your friend, Stan, but you're so high and mighty you couldn't look past my religion and just be my friend back. You've got a lot of growing up to do, buddy. Suck my balls."

So, you go door to door and tell lies that even you don't believe, and that's okay because you're "nice?"  Your church tears families apart if they dare to try to leave but that's okay because you're "friendly?"  You're so screwed up you think that a pleasing exterior can hide a corrupted soul.  Tell you what buddy.  When you can act normal, without a freakish and manipulative "church" that makes you do it.  You come back and see me.


Whoa, whoa, whoa, calm down Sparky. I'm exactly where you are. I just thought it was funny how what he said (especially the 'circle jerk' part at the end) matched up with that quote from South Park.
 
2013-07-26 07:56:36 PM
scottydoesntknow:
Whoa, whoa, whoa, calm down Sparky. I'm exactly where you are. I just thought it was funny how what he said (especially the 'circle jerk' part at the end) matched up with that quote from South Park.

It's all good.  That scene always bothered me.
I take cartoons very seriously
 
rka
2013-07-26 08:12:20 PM

ObnoxiousLonghorn: Everyone is free to choose what to believe, and you are free to mock them. That doesn't make you right, however


Mocking the religious doesn't make him right. Actually being right makes him right.

The mocking is just an amusing bonus.
 
2013-07-26 10:39:24 PM

tinyarena: scottydoesntknow
[frankwarner.typepad.com image 300x231]
"Look, maybe us Mormons do believe in crazy stories that make absolutely no sense, and maybe Joseph Smith did make it all up, but I have a great life, and a great family, and I have the Book of Mormon to thank for that. The truth is, I don't care if Joseph Smith made it all up, because what the church teaches now is loving your family, being nice and helping people. And even though people in this town might think that's stupid, I still choose to believe in it. All I ever did was try to be your friend, Stan, but you're so high and mighty you couldn't look past my religion and just be my friend back. You've got a lot of growing up to do, buddy. Suck my balls."

So, you go door to door and tell lies that even you don't believe, and that's okay because you're "nice?"  Your church tears families apart if they dare to try to leave but that's okay because you're "friendly?"  You're so screwed up you think that a pleasing exterior can hide a corrupted soul.  Tell you what buddy.  When you can act normal, without a freakish and manipulative "church" that makes you do it.  You come back and see me.


"Normal".

Normal is anything but for human beings. We're a violent, hedonistic species. We're also good, pretty much on balance with how bad we are. Maybe a tad bit better than that, even. It'd be hard to have a society if we were all fundamentally bad. But don't pretend that without some sort of moral teaching, human beings would be some happy gang of perfect moral agents.

Honestly, I don't care where a man gets his moral teaching. If you want it from a preacher, fine, as long as the moral teaching actually works. I don't hear about a lot of Mormons in the mainline church causing trouble, short of their political leanings.
 
2013-07-27 03:58:54 AM

Benevolent Misanthrope: nekom: Benevolent Misanthrope:
You know, the more I get to know him, the more I realize that this "God" character is a real dick.

So he DOES belong in a woman's vagina?  Checkmate, libtards.

Only if she invites him.  Fark you and the horse you rode in on, "legitimate rape" Republitards.


Isnt the bible full of rape?
 
2013-07-27 04:01:57 AM

ltomberry: Leave it to FARK to take it completely out of context.

Missionary: I just survived a gruesome accident and I'm lucky to be alive, there must be some reason I'm still here.

Fark: OMG he hates other people!! Mormons are weird! Wharrgarbl!

Stay classy, Farkers.

What I want to know is, where was his companion?


That also has a corollary. There must be some reason that the others died.
The logic which allows one two be true, requires that the other be true.

/god bless america
/and fark over all the other countries
/esp the brown ones
 
2013-07-27 10:07:54 AM
Maybe his god's plan was simply to kill 80 people at random.

I cannot believe in a personal god who supposedly cares about the mundane details of my life, yet allows random stuff like this happen -- especially to people who consider themselves devout.

For instance, not long after the Oklahoma tornadoes, my sister and her family joined us at the beach. My nephew asked if he could have a juice box from the refrigerator. When I told my sister I had no idea why I brought those (since my daughter thought they were gross), she seriously replied that god must have led me to bring those crappy juice boxes to Florida, all the way from Kansas and through Virginia (previous stop). I told her I couldn't believe in a god who would care about such inconsequential minutiae in my life when I don't attend church or pray regularly, but he would randomly kill 50+ people in Oklahoma, most of whom arguably attended church every Sunday, paid their tithes, and likely were praying while the storms raged. Of the perhaps 10,000 homeless people there in the buckle of the Bible belt, it's no stretch at all to say that 7,500 of them are devout and cried out to that god to save them and their homes. Yet god chose to randomly take away their homes or kill their children while they were at school? That god kinda sounds like an ass.

But the xian perspective is that it's all god's will, so who are we to question him?
 
2013-07-27 11:32:52 AM

Via Infinito: James!: God saved me from this tragic accident he in no way created or allowed to kill all these other people.

Yep. This kind of shiat really bugs me about "people of faith". I called my mom to check on her when all those tornados plowed through Alabama a few years ago. She told me that they were fine and "God kept them safe". That really pissed me off. I told her I wondered what God had against the hundreds of families whose homes were destroyed in the tornados.


Some time in the last few months, I read an article about how tornado devastation is worse in more religious counties, since less religious people rely on, you know, planning for tornados instead of trying to pray them away.
 
2013-07-27 11:34:52 AM

happydude45: Well, now I know how to find the bitter fark assholes. Just find a Mormon thread.

You people suck.


To my knowledge, not one bitter fark asshole has ever knocked on my door trying to peddle a racist, misogynist fairy tale.  Can't say the same about Mormons.
 
2013-07-27 11:55:17 AM

ObnoxiousLonghorn: The amount of derpy ignorance in this thread regarding Mormonism is overwhelming. Flame me all you want, but I thought 5 year olds wern't allowed on Fark. Way to show your maturity about something you know zero about.

/I know I know, "go away, we don't need non-bigoted mature people in this thread."
//enjoy your hypocritical circle jerk


Maybe you should go listen to some Osmond Family music and find solace there.  Any person with in I.Q. that reaches into the double digits can see that the Book of Mormon is nothing more than a con.  But that's not the problem.  The problem is the Mormon Church's spamming of Earth with its dopey missionaries.  I'd love to see the Saudis fund a door-to-door program to try and give away a copy of the Koran to every household in Utah and see how well that would be received.
 
2013-07-27 01:18:50 PM

Straelbora: happydude45: Well, now I know how to find the bitter fark assholes. Just find a Mormon thread.

You people suck.

To my knowledge, not one bitter fark asshole has ever knocked on my door trying to peddle a racist, misogynist fairy tale.  Can't say the same about Mormons.




I never get tired of this scene from Orgazmo (NSFW)
 
2013-07-28 01:33:04 AM
You'd think Farkers would like more mons.
 
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