If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(SeattlePI)   'God has plans' for Mormon missionary who survived horrific Spanish train wreck, apparently unlike those eighty people who didn't   (seattlepi.com) divider line 123
    More: Followup, Utah, Spanish, Spanish train wreck, Mormons, train crash, missionary  
•       •       •

2071 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Jul 2013 at 1:23 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



123 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-07-26 11:04:34 AM
Yes, the magic underwear works, thanks to "my" god.
 
2013-07-26 11:13:26 AM
He sounds white and delightsome.
 
2013-07-26 11:20:40 AM
God saved me from this tragic accident he in no way created or allowed to kill all these other people.
 
2013-07-26 11:20:50 AM
From a religious standpoint, I'd like to say that God has something in store for me and that there's a reason I'm still here,

nekom: He sounds white and delightsome.


Indeed.

His god is a major asshole. I'd rather the GOP rule the heavens and the earth over their god.
 
2013-07-26 11:38:06 AM

James!: God saved me from this tragic accident he in no way created or allowed to kill all these other people.


Joseph Smith is his conductor. Toot toot!
 
2013-07-26 11:53:36 AM
If you think about it, God was really being kind of a dick that day.
 
2013-07-26 11:57:14 AM
wait
didnt god decide that Rmoney was going to be president and make the US a christian nation??
 
2013-07-26 12:03:01 PM

James!: God saved me from this tragic accident he in no way created or allowed to kill all these other people.


You know, the more I get to know him, the more I realize that this "God" character is a real dick.
 
2013-07-26 12:03:03 PM
'God has plans' for Mormon missionary who survived horrific Spanish train wreck

You know how many people doing "God's work" weren't in a horrific train wreck that day?

God wanted you to take you a hint to just quit it, and now you're doing the complete opposite.
 
2013-07-26 12:12:03 PM
Benevolent Misanthrope:
You know, the more I get to know him, the more I realize that this "God" character is a real dick.

So he DOES belong in a woman's vagina?  Checkmate, libtards.
 
2013-07-26 12:16:02 PM

nekom: Benevolent Misanthrope:
You know, the more I get to know him, the more I realize that this "God" character is a real dick.

So he DOES belong in a woman's vagina?  Checkmate, libtards.


Only if she invites him.  Fark you and the horse you rode in on, "legitimate rape" Republitards.
 
2013-07-26 12:28:11 PM
Benevolent Misanthrope:
Only if she invites him.  Fark you and the horse you rode in on, "legitimate rape" Republitards.

I wasn't being serious, by the way.
 
2013-07-26 12:43:57 PM

nekom: Benevolent Misanthrope:
Only if she invites him.  Fark you and the horse you rode in on, "legitimate rape" Republitards.

I wasn't being serious, by the way.


I know.  The "F*ck you" was aimed past you to the GOP base.
 
2013-07-26 12:45:02 PM
FTFA: "Not many people come that close to death twice before age 20"

Obviously God had plans for the ones that died, too. He wanted to see them in Heaven.

Face it, Magic Underwear Boy. You got rejected by God, not once, but twice.
 
2013-07-26 12:51:29 PM
God certainly does work in "mysterious" ways.

"Mysterious" meaning "not doing anything for us, good or bad."

/Deist
 
2013-07-26 01:01:08 PM

namatad: wait
didnt god decide that Rmoney was going to be president and make the US a christian nation??


Mormons aren't Christians, are they?
 
2013-07-26 01:02:26 PM

Speaker2Animals: namatad: wait
didnt god decide that Rmoney was going to be president and make the US a christian nation??

Mormons aren't Christians, are they?


Most Christians aren't either, so it's not a big deal.
 
2013-07-26 01:06:40 PM
Nope, God was pretty much done with the rest of them.
 
2013-07-26 01:14:16 PM
Speaker2Animals:
Mormons aren't Christians, are they?

Well, they believe in Jesus, it's just that they also believe he appeared in the Americas and talked to the lost tribes of Israel that somehow became Native Americans, that God was just one of many gods and he may have many wives.  It's Christian in a sense that Christianity is Jewish.
 
2013-07-26 01:24:49 PM
I'd love to call this dork up and tell him I'm God and No, I Don't and STFU.
 
2013-07-26 01:24:56 PM

MrBallou: FTFA: "Not many people come that close to death twice before age 20"

Obviously God had plans for the ones that died, too. He wanted to see them in Heaven.

Face it, Magic Underwear Boy. You got rejected by God, not once, but twice.


Maybe his god's got crappy aim.
 
2013-07-26 01:25:25 PM
s.gullipics.com
 
2013-07-26 01:26:55 PM

James!: God saved me from this tragic accident he in no way created or allowed to kill all these other people.


Yep. This kind of shiat really bugs me about "people of faith". I called my mom to check on her when all those tornados plowed through Alabama a few years ago. She told me that they were fine and "God kept them safe". That really pissed me off. I told her I wondered what God had against the hundreds of families whose homes were destroyed in the tornados.
 
2013-07-26 01:27:19 PM
That guy's gotta be disappointed, he didn't get to go to his private planet God has all set up for him.
 
2013-07-26 01:27:42 PM
The other people on that train had consumed caffeinated beverages, and thus were sinners not worthy of the Kingdom of God.
 
2013-07-26 01:28:33 PM
The news showed this story last night.  It also mentioned some catholic church folk died during the incident.

I looked at my wife and told her, "You how I know there is no god?  The Mormon lived."
 
2013-07-26 01:29:46 PM

nekom: Speaker2Animals:
Mormons aren't Christians, are they?

Well, they believe in Jesus, it's just that they also believe he appeared in the Americas and talked to the lost tribes of Israel that somehow became Native Americans, that God was just one of many gods and he may have many wives.  It's Christian in a sense that Christianity is Jewish.


Mesh. Everyone knows that Jesus faked his death and died of old age in Japan.
 
2013-07-26 01:31:25 PM

NutWrench: If you think about it, God was really being kind of a dick that day.


God is a dick every single day, or more accurately, he's "mysterious". As in "it's a mystery why God is such a dick all the time".

/agnostic
 
2013-07-26 01:32:35 PM
The Ferrocaril of San Luis Rey just doesn't have the same ring to it.
 
2013-07-26 01:33:43 PM
Well, now I know how to find the bitter fark assholes. Just find a Mormon thread.

You people suck.
 
2013-07-26 01:33:53 PM
i1345.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-26 01:34:47 PM
"I see plans within plans..."

top50sf.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-07-26 01:34:49 PM

Via Infinito: James!: God saved me from this tragic accident he in no way created or allowed to kill all these other people.

Yep. This kind of shiat really bugs me about "people of faith". I called my mom to check on her when all those tornados plowed through Alabama a few years ago. She told me that they were fine and "God kept them safe". That really pissed me off. I told her I wondered what God had against the hundreds of families whose homes were destroyed in the tornados.


You get to think without any real life effort that you are better than the others because a weather phenomenon/train derailment missed you as it destroyed everything around you.
 
2013-07-26 01:36:03 PM
The Big Guy is like your worst boss. Piles heaps of crap on you and you're expected to take it and get stronger, but all credit for positive results goes straight to Him.
 
2013-07-26 01:36:47 PM
If you've ever had the misfortune to be obliquely involved with some Mormon kid about to be on, or on, his mission - that's all they can do is spout crap about faith and god and purpose and so forth.  They are being mentally conditioned every minute of every day to relate every minutia of everyday life to god and religion.  If they got a pretty good turkey sandwich, they would (totally serious here) mention how god had clearly favored their lunch today and blessed this wonderful turkey sandwich and we should all glorify his name.
 
2013-07-26 01:36:59 PM
You're just painting a big old "Smite Me" on your back.

and / or

I got to work today without getting killed by a giant space rock. God must want me to sit in the cubicle and post stuff to Fark. Thy will be done, oh lord. Thy will be done.

Or perhaps the Lord desires I should browse for images of Jennifer Anniston. What is thy will? Looketh! I opened a Firefox tab and typed "Image" and lo! Google Image search appeareth.

We are doing God's work on thy dime of thou regular employer.
 
2013-07-26 01:38:49 PM
I understand searching for answers in life
I understand searching for a reason when something terrible happens

I do not farking get when you attribute a life saved amid horrific death and chaos
to you being farking special because your singular deity
out of an infinite pantheon of deities
was the right one to worship
because they/it needs you alive

that's the greatest vanity ever
 
2013-07-26 01:40:21 PM

happydude45: Well, now I know how to find the bitter fark assholes. Just find a Mormon thread.

You people suck.


I was amused by the guy who was reading the Blaze yesterday at work.

See? I can be happy in seeing someone else buying bullsh*t by the gallon.
 
2013-07-26 01:40:31 PM

happydude45: Well, now I know how to find the bitter fark assholes.


By opening any thread about any subject at any time?  You really found the needle in the giant factory dedicated to the manufacturing of needles.
 
2013-07-26 01:43:05 PM
Putting on my devil's-advocate hat for a moment, the thing about plans is that they have goals. At some point, they finish. If we assume that God has plans for people, what happens when they finish their plans?
 
2013-07-26 01:43:46 PM
Please, go tell the families of the deceased how God spared you, yet killed their loved ones.

Wasn't there a religious group on that train? Guess they just didn't pray hard enough. *eyeroll*
 
2013-07-26 01:44:10 PM

nekom: the lost tribes of Israel that somehow became Native Americans


"I brought in a Rabbi all the way from Carson city and had him talk Hebrew at that old chief for nigh on five hours and he acted like he didn't understand a single word!"
/obscure?
 
2013-07-26 01:44:43 PM
A mission to Orlando?

Sea World and Disney,
Putt putt,
golfing
 
2013-07-26 01:44:59 PM
He still has to fly back to the states, I would avoid that plane.
 
2013-07-26 01:45:13 PM
"From a religious standpoint, I'd like to say that God has something in store for me and that there's a reason I'm still here,"

He just gave you a taste of what's in store for you - and apparently not for the fist time, either. You should count yourself warned instead of lucky.

/I mean, God COULD have just let you miss the train, for example
 
2013-07-26 01:46:03 PM
God let 3000 people die ghastly deaths by fire, fumes, and falling...

i40.tinypic.com

But criss-crossed I beams? Holy sh*t, it's a f*cking miracle!

Yes, I do find this line of thinking blindingly stupid. Why do you ask?
 
2013-07-26 01:46:36 PM

Millennium: Putting on my devil's-advocate hat for a moment, the thing about plans is that they have goals. At some point, they finish. If we assume that God has plans for people, what happens when they finish their plans?


Why, some fellow wrote a book that suggested that very thing. Also, look at Patton and Lincoln.
 
2013-07-26 01:47:21 PM
Never occurs to him that Moroni engineered the crash, killing all those people, just to make him feel a little more self-righteous.
 
2013-07-26 01:49:25 PM

FormlessOne: Never occurs to him that Moroni engineered the crash, killing all those people, just to make him feel a little more self-righteous.


God is like an overactive secret admirer.

"I killed 80 people just to tell you I think you're special" *wink*
 
2013-07-26 01:49:57 PM

happydude45: Well, now I know how to find the bitter fark assholes. Just find a Mormon thread.

You people suck.


dont go away butthurt

/just go away
 
Displayed 50 of 123 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report