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(BBC)   If you were the first human to set foot on Mars, what would you say?   (bbc.co.uk) divider line 97
    More: Interesting, first human, Roman mythology, artificial gravity, Imperial College London  
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3503 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Jul 2013 at 12:47 PM (51 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-07-26 08:19:29 AM
17 votes:
"Where all da red wimmen at?"
2013-07-26 08:15:48 AM
15 votes:
Who's the useless slutbag now, eh Tiffany? EH, TIFFANY? YOU HEAR ME YOU MAN STEALING, HOMECOMING QUEEN BIATCH!
2013-07-26 08:13:33 AM
10 votes:
"I got my ass to Mars."
2013-07-26 10:05:43 AM
9 votes:
"I'm on Mars..... better drink my own urine."
2013-07-26 08:08:28 AM
9 votes:
What's that? OH GOD IT'S COMING RIGHT FOR ME!

/end transmission
2013-07-26 11:04:16 AM
8 votes:
COHAAGEN! GIFF DEES PEEPOL EEYARR!!
2013-07-26 09:16:41 AM
8 votes:
"And now this planet is hereby claimed for the Earth in the name of DUCK DODGERS IN THE 24 1/2TH CENTURY!"
2013-07-26 08:14:46 AM
8 votes:
Babba booey.
2013-07-26 08:11:33 AM
8 votes:
One small step for A man, one giant leap for mankind.
2013-07-26 12:48:54 PM
7 votes:
"This is no place to raise my kids... In fact, it's cold as hell..."
2013-07-26 11:18:26 AM
7 votes:
华人民共和国的赞美和荣耀
2013-07-26 08:47:10 AM
7 votes:
How the fk did I get here? Where are my pants?
2013-07-26 12:25:11 PM
6 votes:
"Suck it, Stretch Armstrong!"
2013-07-26 12:23:17 PM
6 votes:
'Suck it, Lance Armstrong."
2013-07-26 10:47:47 AM
6 votes:
This moment brought to you by Coca Cola, the official soft drink of Mars.....
2013-07-26 10:34:04 AM
6 votes:
suck it Armstrong
2013-07-26 09:29:44 AM
6 votes:
"Good luck Mr. Gorsky"
2013-07-26 09:09:39 AM
6 votes:
I'm glad I remembered to bring my towel.
2013-07-26 12:58:18 PM
5 votes:
img855.imageshack.us
2013-07-26 12:24:28 PM
5 votes:
"Suck it, Louis Armstrong"
2013-07-26 12:07:36 PM
5 votes:
Take me to Dejah Thoris.
2013-07-26 09:29:05 AM
5 votes:

Wookie_Jesus: Ack! Ack!


i.imgur.com
2013-07-26 09:24:34 AM
5 votes:
Ack! Ack!
2013-07-26 01:02:52 PM
4 votes:
I'm stuck to my chair. I'm so very scared. Help.
2013-07-26 12:18:57 PM
4 votes:
'Suck it Neil Armstrong.'
2013-07-26 01:33:49 PM
3 votes:
"Two weeks!"
2013-07-26 01:04:28 PM
3 votes:
What's a police call box doing here?!
2013-07-26 12:51:27 PM
3 votes:
I owe it all to Captain Wi Tu Hi...
2013-07-26 12:50:45 PM
3 votes:
Where's the kaboom? There was supposed to be an Earth-shattering kaboom!
2013-07-26 11:46:25 AM
3 votes:
"I was told that I would be getting more candy bars."
2013-07-26 09:40:42 AM
3 votes:
Wasn't me!
2013-07-26 08:34:14 AM
3 votes:
"Oooh it's all sticky!"
2013-07-26 01:38:38 PM
2 votes:
"A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man."
2013-07-26 01:17:33 PM
2 votes:
klaatu barada nikto
2013-07-26 01:01:30 PM
2 votes:
Pump up the volume
Pump up the volume
Pump up the volume
Dance. Dance.
2013-07-26 01:01:14 PM
2 votes:
FIRST!
2013-07-26 12:59:04 PM
2 votes:

Herr Docktor Heinrich Wisenheimer: "Holy shiat!. How the fark did I get to Mars without a space suit?"
"Gasp".
"Choke".

Thud.


Look, if you were dying, you wouldn't bother to say, "Gasp", "Choke". Not even if you were dictating.
2013-07-26 12:59:00 PM
2 votes:
25.media.tumblr.com
2013-07-26 12:58:30 PM
2 votes:
"Where the green women at?"
2013-07-26 12:57:50 PM
2 votes:
I can see Uranus from here!
2013-07-26 12:31:06 PM
2 votes:
*dontfarkupthilinedontfarkupthelinedontfarkuptheline*

"With this step, human- Oh shiat-" *stumble* "Crap. This is live, right Houston? We can't redo that? Fark. Uhh, hi mom!"
2013-07-26 12:04:30 PM
2 votes:
"OK so where's my 3-jugged mutant hooker?"
2013-07-26 11:38:26 AM
2 votes:
I knew I shouldataken that left turn at Albuquerque.
2013-07-26 11:09:36 AM
2 votes:
Yes. Finally. Alone at last
2013-07-26 09:46:19 AM
2 votes:
Where all the white women at?
2013-07-26 09:44:07 AM
2 votes:
this is not my beautiful planet
2013-07-26 09:31:28 AM
2 votes:
[pre-written NASA statement]

And on a personal note - to Mrs. Betty Hickox, the self-important, overconfident and totally incompetent high school French teacher who told me I'd never amount to anything if I didn't stop reading voraciously on every subject and "get good at one thing", I say this:

Nanny-Nanny Boo-boo.

And Kate - think about it.  Ambulance chaser or astronaut?  You chose unwisely.
2013-07-26 09:20:36 AM
2 votes:
"Jesus H. Christ in a chicken basket. Can you farking believe this Houston? I'm on farking Mars." *long pause* "I just need to sit a minute so I don't lose my shiat. farking Mars."
2013-07-26 04:52:22 PM
1 votes:
Woah man I'm on the MOTHER FARKING MARS, MAAAAN!!!
2013-07-26 03:56:47 PM
1 votes:
"We got signal. Main screen turn on."
2013-07-26 03:43:25 PM
1 votes:
"As the first person on Mars, I'm setting up two rules: no Jews and no Blacks."
2013-07-26 03:43:01 PM
1 votes:
IDKFA
2013-07-26 02:43:10 PM
1 votes:
I land on potato
2013-07-26 02:38:29 PM
1 votes:
"NASA...there is a blue box here and a man calling himself the Doctor...Never mind, he just said that he's sorry, so very very sorry and now he's leaving in a vanishing blue box."
2013-07-26 02:27:39 PM
1 votes:
"I'm really angry about 3-d printing technology!"
2013-07-26 02:23:12 PM
1 votes:
Duke Sucks
2013-07-26 02:12:21 PM
1 votes:
"NASA...since I am here and no way back, I'm not concerned.  I have this Kindle filled with the greatest books ever written and with the solar panels and battery back ups, it will out last me.  Where did I put it?"  *crunch*  "No...no....this can't be.  It's broken.  There was time now.  It's not fair, there was time now!!!"
2013-07-26 02:06:14 PM
1 votes:
"Meh."
2013-07-26 01:55:02 PM
1 votes:
I would quote the bible, of course.

Ezekiel 25:17


/I been sayin' that shiat for years
2013-07-26 01:46:47 PM
1 votes:
OMG! All the missing left socks!


(Just keeping the Ren & Stimpy theme going)
2013-07-26 01:45:40 PM
1 votes:
I hereby claim this planet in the name of China!
2013-07-26 01:44:16 PM
1 votes:
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
2013-07-26 01:36:11 PM
1 votes:
Well... there goes the planet.
2013-07-26 01:35:26 PM
1 votes:
praxcelis

"Weeeeee'rrree OFF to see the WIZARD!"

"There's a dead witch under our descent stage, and everything's in color."
2013-07-26 01:34:29 PM
1 votes:
Work, Rest or Play?

Hey, this red shirt really matches the terrain.
2013-07-26 01:34:18 PM
1 votes:
Valentine Smith! So nice to see you buddy!
2013-07-26 01:31:04 PM
1 votes:
This space suit makes me feel like a tough, brute man. I can't wait for our first shore leave so I can get me some f*ckin' poontang.
2013-07-26 01:27:35 PM
1 votes:
I release this dove as a symbol... holy hell did you see that thing pop?!?!

As God as my witness, I swear I thought doves could fly on Mars!!
2013-07-26 01:24:38 PM
1 votes:
Look sir.  Droids!
2013-07-26 01:21:04 PM
1 votes:
TAH DAHHHHH!!!!!

The Aristocrats.
2013-07-26 01:20:19 PM
1 votes:
"Camera three is making my shadow look weird....Can someone get that boom mike lifted?"
2013-07-26 01:18:26 PM
1 votes:
"Thanks Obama!"
2013-07-26 01:17:17 PM
1 votes:
Wait...  This isn't Chicago!  What flight did I get on?
2013-07-26 01:13:34 PM
1 votes:
GET ME OUTTA HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEREEEEEEEEE!
2013-07-26 01:05:48 PM
1 votes:
We're buildin' the Walmart right over thar, ya'll.
2013-07-26 01:04:53 PM
1 votes:

Nuclear Monk: Quade....start the reactor!


Shut up Quato. You're drunk.
2013-07-26 01:04:36 PM
1 votes:
1-8-7-7 kars for kids, K-A-R-S kars for kids...

/As the earthlings watching on TV scream in terror
2013-07-26 01:00:35 PM
1 votes:
I don't grok this place.
2013-07-26 01:00:34 PM
1 votes:
Mars ain't the kind of place to raise your kids.
2013-07-26 12:57:18 PM
1 votes:
Wow, Mars. This is really a momentous occasion for all of humanity. I am humbled to be the first human being to be able to walk on the surface of an al- oh for fark's sake, is that a Starbucks?!
2013-07-26 12:54:22 PM
1 votes:
ARRRRRRRRRRRGH! SAND WORMS! IT'S FULL OF GIANT SAND WORMS!

Long before I saw Dune, there was an old SF movie in which the astronauts who land on Mars are attacked by giant worm like creatures in the Martian sand. I don't recall what is was called as I saw it when I was just a little kid.
2013-07-26 12:53:47 PM
1 votes:
M
A
R
S

Mars, biatches.  Red Rocks!

YAY YAY!
2013-07-26 12:52:29 PM
1 votes:
mine.
2013-07-26 12:51:57 PM
1 votes:
Quaid, start the reactor...
2013-07-26 12:51:41 PM
1 votes:
gunga galunga
2013-07-26 12:51:21 PM
1 votes:
"Wait a minute... this sucks."
2013-07-26 12:49:23 PM
1 votes:
START THE REACTOR!
Oh, it's on? Good.
2013-07-26 12:48:43 PM
1 votes:
I got 99 problems and a biatch aint one
2013-07-26 12:45:56 PM
1 votes:
Where's the little bastard with the illudium space modulator?
2013-07-26 12:41:11 PM
1 votes:
"Suck it, BJ Armstrong!"
2013-07-26 12:40:01 PM
1 votes:
"Suck it, Bjorn Stronginthearm!"
2013-07-26 10:30:08 AM
1 votes:
I CAN'T BREATHAAAAAAACCCCCKKKK...

...THUD.
2013-07-26 09:53:08 AM
1 votes:
"I've been to Mars in Hackettstown and now this. This might be more than I can chew in one bite"
2013-07-26 09:06:57 AM
1 votes:
"Holy shiat!. How the fark did I get to Mars without a space suit?"
"Gasp".
"Choke".

Thud.
2013-07-26 08:56:54 AM
1 votes:
"Where are those damn rovers.  I wanna prove NASA wrong and show them that Mars does have a moon."

"Can you hear me now?"

"First"
2013-07-26 08:48:57 AM
1 votes:
Here's Johnny!
2013-07-26 08:14:52 AM
1 votes:
I'm in space
 
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