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(BBC)   If you were the first human to set foot on Mars, what would you say?   (bbc.co.uk) divider line 379
    More: Interesting, first human, Roman mythology, artificial gravity, Imperial College London  
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3502 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Jul 2013 at 12:47 PM (50 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



379 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-07-26 08:08:28 AM
What's that? OH GOD IT'S COMING RIGHT FOR ME!

/end transmission
 
2013-07-26 08:11:33 AM
One small step for A man, one giant leap for mankind.
 
2013-07-26 08:13:33 AM
"I got my ass to Mars."
 
2013-07-26 08:14:46 AM
Babba booey.
 
2013-07-26 08:14:52 AM
I'm in space
 
2013-07-26 08:15:48 AM
Who's the useless slutbag now, eh Tiffany? EH, TIFFANY? YOU HEAR ME YOU MAN STEALING, HOMECOMING QUEEN BIATCH!
 
2013-07-26 08:19:29 AM
"Where all da red wimmen at?"
 
2013-07-26 08:34:14 AM
"Oooh it's all sticky!"
 
2013-07-26 08:42:14 AM
I thought Olympus Mons would be bigger.
 
2013-07-26 08:47:10 AM
How the fk did I get here? Where are my pants?
 
2013-07-26 08:48:57 AM
Here's Johnny!
 
2013-07-26 08:56:54 AM
"Where are those damn rovers.  I wanna prove NASA wrong and show them that Mars does have a moon."

"Can you hear me now?"

"First"
 
2013-07-26 09:06:57 AM
"Holy shiat!. How the fark did I get to Mars without a space suit?"
"Gasp".
"Choke".

Thud.
 
2013-07-26 09:09:39 AM
I'm glad I remembered to bring my towel.
 
2013-07-26 09:14:19 AM
i1123.photobucket.com
farkin' A, Bubba.
 
2013-07-26 09:16:41 AM
"And now this planet is hereby claimed for the Earth in the name of DUCK DODGERS IN THE 24 1/2TH CENTURY!"
 
2013-07-26 09:17:28 AM
Something pre-written for me by NASA, I'm sure.

But in my mind, I'd be all "How farkin' *COOL* is this!".
 
2013-07-26 09:20:36 AM
"Jesus H. Christ in a chicken basket. Can you farking believe this Houston? I'm on farking Mars." *long pause* "I just need to sit a minute so I don't lose my shiat. farking Mars."
 
2013-07-26 09:24:34 AM
Ack! Ack!
 
2013-07-26 09:29:05 AM

Wookie_Jesus: Ack! Ack!


i.imgur.com
 
2013-07-26 09:29:44 AM
"Good luck Mr. Gorsky"
 
2013-07-26 09:31:28 AM
[pre-written NASA statement]

And on a personal note - to Mrs. Betty Hickox, the self-important, overconfident and totally incompetent high school French teacher who told me I'd never amount to anything if I didn't stop reading voraciously on every subject and "get good at one thing", I say this:

Nanny-Nanny Boo-boo.

And Kate - think about it.  Ambulance chaser or astronaut?  You chose unwisely.
 
2013-07-26 09:40:42 AM
Wasn't me!
 
2013-07-26 09:44:07 AM
this is not my beautiful planet
 
2013-07-26 09:46:19 AM
Where all the white women at?
 
2013-07-26 09:53:08 AM
"I've been to Mars in Hackettstown and now this. This might be more than I can chew in one bite"
 
2013-07-26 10:05:43 AM
"I'm on Mars..... better drink my own urine."
 
2013-07-26 10:30:08 AM
I CAN'T BREATHAAAAAAACCCCCKKKK...

...THUD.
 
2013-07-26 10:34:04 AM
suck it Armstrong
 
2013-07-26 10:47:47 AM
This moment brought to you by Coca Cola, the official soft drink of Mars.....
 
2013-07-26 11:04:16 AM
COHAAGEN! GIFF DEES PEEPOL EEYARR!!
 
2013-07-26 11:09:36 AM
Yes. Finally. Alone at last
 
2013-07-26 11:09:54 AM

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: "Oooh it's all sticky!"


came for this, leaving satisfied

/f'kin hell, been in that spacecraft...I need a pitch
 
2013-07-26 11:18:26 AM
华人民共和国的赞美和荣耀
 
2013-07-26 11:38:26 AM
I knew I shouldataken that left turn at Albuquerque.
 
2013-07-26 11:46:25 AM
"I was told that I would be getting more candy bars."
 
2013-07-26 11:48:31 AM
I love these threads, perfect for a Friday afternoon at work!

/sent from Mars
 
2013-07-26 11:54:26 AM
Where's Marvin, so I can kick his ass?
 
2013-07-26 11:58:12 AM
.....fark. How the hell am I gonna get home to feed the cat?
 
2013-07-26 12:04:30 PM
"OK so where's my 3-jugged mutant hooker?"
 
2013-07-26 12:07:36 PM
Take me to Dejah Thoris.
 
2013-07-26 12:18:50 PM
♫ It's a god-awful small affair / To the girl with the mousy hair ♫
 
2013-07-26 12:18:57 PM
'Suck it Neil Armstrong.'
 
2013-07-26 12:23:17 PM
'Suck it, Lance Armstrong."
 
2013-07-26 12:24:28 PM
"Suck it, Louis Armstrong"
 
2013-07-26 12:25:11 PM
"Suck it, Stretch Armstrong!"
 
2013-07-26 12:31:06 PM
*dontfarkupthilinedontfarkupthelinedontfarkuptheline*

"With this step, human- Oh shiat-" *stumble* "Crap. This is live, right Houston? We can't redo that? Fark. Uhh, hi mom!"
 
2013-07-26 12:40:01 PM
"Suck it, Bjorn Stronginthearm!"
 
2013-07-26 12:40:25 PM
Ew, it's all sticky!
 
2013-07-26 12:41:11 PM
"Suck it, BJ Armstrong!"
 
2013-07-26 12:44:52 PM

cman: 华人民共和国的赞美和荣耀


bravo
 
2013-07-26 12:45:56 PM
Where's the little bastard with the illudium space modulator?
 
2013-07-26 12:48:24 PM
Boobies

//filter pwn
 
2013-07-26 12:48:43 PM
I got 99 problems and a biatch aint one
 
2013-07-26 12:48:54 PM
"This is no place to raise my kids... In fact, it's cold as hell..."
 
2013-07-26 12:49:23 PM
START THE REACTOR!
Oh, it's on? Good.
 
2013-07-26 12:50:03 PM
Suck it, Edwin Armstrong.
 
2013-07-26 12:50:29 PM
SUCK it...hard and long.
 
2013-07-26 12:50:32 PM
I just made the god of war my Biatch!
 
2013-07-26 12:50:44 PM
"I'm so excited!! I just shiat my diaper!"
 
2013-07-26 12:50:45 PM
Where's the kaboom? There was supposed to be an Earth-shattering kaboom!
 
2013-07-26 12:50:47 PM
I'd sacrifice a virgin to TechnoBevets to keep from inviting his textual rage on humanity for this.

images3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-07-26 12:51:21 PM
"Wait a minute... this sucks."
 
2013-07-26 12:51:27 PM
I owe it all to Captain Wi Tu Hi...
 
2013-07-26 12:51:40 PM
We're really in Arizona!
 
2013-07-26 12:51:41 PM
gunga galunga
 
2013-07-26 12:51:50 PM
Bazinga
 
2013-07-26 12:51:57 PM
Quaid, start the reactor...
 
2013-07-26 12:52:27 PM
I hear by claim this planet as property of Mars Interplanetary Real Estate Development LLC.

/buy a lot on Mars! Prices have never been lower! New tax abatement program in effect until 12/31/13!
 
2013-07-26 12:52:29 PM
mine.
 
2013-07-26 12:52:45 PM
Oh shiat quicksand!
 
2013-07-26 12:52:56 PM
'F*ck you, Mars.'
 
2013-07-26 12:53:10 PM
"Hi honey, I'm home!"
 
2013-07-26 12:53:16 PM

mr_a: One small step for A man, one giant leap for mankind.


Relevant, and hilarious!
http://csl.stanford.edu/~gere/satire.html
 
2013-07-26 12:53:37 PM
For centuries, human beings have realized various forms of energy. Civilizations have progressed with them! So where does such energy like Metatron lead our civilization? Destruction, destruction to end all! The universe, and human subconscious are willing their own end! This is the will of Metatron! Can you stop me?
 
2013-07-26 12:53:47 PM
M
A
R
S

Mars, biatches.  Red Rocks!

YAY YAY!
 
2013-07-26 12:54:21 PM
I tell you we should have turned LEFT at Albuquerque!
 
2013-07-26 12:54:22 PM
ARRRRRRRRRRRGH! SAND WORMS! IT'S FULL OF GIANT SAND WORMS!

Long before I saw Dune, there was an old SF movie in which the astronauts who land on Mars are attacked by giant worm like creatures in the Martian sand. I don't recall what is was called as I saw it when I was just a little kid.
 
2013-07-26 12:54:25 PM
"Hey, this doesn't look like LA! {grumble} Last time I use a discount airline. Bastards."
 
2013-07-26 12:54:36 PM
Done in four.

/ And baba booey to y'all.
 
2013-07-26 12:54:43 PM
'Is that a gun that shoots bees?'
 
2013-07-26 12:55:04 PM
Well, here we are.
 
2013-07-26 12:55:04 PM

ChipNASA: SUCK it...hard and long.


ct.fra.bz
 
2013-07-26 12:55:49 PM

Pick: I hear by claim this planet as property of Mars Interplanetary Real Estate Development LLC.

/buy a lot on Mars! Prices have never been lower! New tax abatement program in effect until 12/31/13!


Don't think I'd buy from a company whose initials spell "MIRED".
 
2013-07-26 12:56:24 PM
"were can a guy get a drink around here?"

"I'm looking for the chick with three boobs"
 
2013-07-26 12:56:51 PM

cowgirl toffee: "I'm so excited!! I just shiat my diaper!"


I would like an original cowgirl toffee drawing of what that might look like.
 
2013-07-26 12:57:18 PM
Wow, Mars. This is really a momentous occasion for all of humanity. I am humbled to be the first human being to be able to walk on the surface of an al- oh for fark's sake, is that a Starbucks?!
 
2013-07-26 12:57:22 PM
BOINGA BOINGA BOINGA!
 
2013-07-26 12:57:49 PM
I can see my house from hereeeeeeee!
 
2013-07-26 12:57:50 PM
I can see Uranus from here!
 
2013-07-26 12:58:07 PM
I need a beer.
 
2013-07-26 12:58:18 PM
img855.imageshack.us
 
2013-07-26 12:58:30 PM
"Where the green women at?"
 
2013-07-26 12:58:35 PM
This thread. I love it so much.
 
2013-07-26 12:58:57 PM
Well, damn that's a lot of rocks...
 
2013-07-26 12:58:58 PM
CRAP!! I think I left the iron on!
 
2013-07-26 12:59:00 PM
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-07-26 12:59:02 PM

deanis: I need a beer.


Here, hold this
 
2013-07-26 12:59:04 PM

Herr Docktor Heinrich Wisenheimer: "Holy shiat!. How the fark did I get to Mars without a space suit?"
"Gasp".
"Choke".

Thud.


Look, if you were dying, you wouldn't bother to say, "Gasp", "Choke". Not even if you were dictating.
 
2013-07-26 12:59:26 PM
I would say whatever the highest bidder paid me to say.

/bids to start at 1 billion dollars
//I'm a whore
 
2013-07-26 12:59:44 PM
"One small step for man, one giant waste of money for mankind"
 
2013-07-26 01:00:07 PM
Ahoy
 
2013-07-26 01:00:34 PM
Mars ain't the kind of place to raise your kids.
 
2013-07-26 01:00:35 PM
I don't grok this place.
 
2013-07-26 01:00:38 PM
Damn, it's dusty here...
 
2013-07-26 01:00:51 PM
Wheres the bathroom?  That was a long trip.
 
2013-07-26 01:00:56 PM
Well, well, well... looks like's there's life on Mars now.

or

Hey Timmy, get the damn boom mic out of camera.
 
2013-07-26 01:01:10 PM
Huh. This is, in fact, not the kind of place to raise my kid.
 
2013-07-26 01:01:14 PM
FIRST!
 
2013-07-26 01:01:20 PM
Don't bite the mailman
 
2013-07-26 01:01:23 PM
"w00t!!! I got first step!!!11!!"
 
2013-07-26 01:01:30 PM
Pump up the volume
Pump up the volume
Pump up the volume
Dance. Dance.
 
2013-07-26 01:01:34 PM
With a single small step, mankind takes a great leap.
<deep breath>
Although named for the worst of man, the planet has now been visited in peace by mankind, for all of mankind.  And may this moment of exploration serve as a reminder that in unity and peace mankind can do far more than separately or in conflict.

/I know serious is serious
//You jokesters had the funny stuff covered.
 
2013-07-26 01:02:19 PM
what would you say?

Knock knock on the door
Who's it for, nobody in here
Look in the mirror my friend
 
2013-07-26 01:02:52 PM
I'm stuck to my chair. I'm so very scared. Help.
 
2013-07-26 01:03:07 PM
BOOBIES!

/True Farker that I am.
 
2013-07-26 01:03:29 PM
Quade....start the reactor!
 
2013-07-26 01:03:30 PM
"Humanities first steps on a new planet.  Hopefully we don't screw this one up too."

or

"We brought a flag.  This is ours now."
 
2013-07-26 01:03:47 PM
Where now? Who now? When now?
 
2013-07-26 01:04:01 PM
KKCO

!!!!
 
2013-07-26 01:04:11 PM
"What the fark was I thinking?"
 
2013-07-26 01:04:28 PM
What's a police call box doing here?!
 
2013-07-26 01:04:36 PM
1-8-7-7 kars for kids, K-A-R-S kars for kids...

/As the earthlings watching on TV scream in terror
 
2013-07-26 01:04:36 PM
or something like that
 
2013-07-26 01:04:39 PM

blatz514: cowgirl toffee: "I'm so excited!! I just shiat my diaper!"

I would like an original cowgirl toffee drawing of what that might look like.


Shiat. Can you wait for it?  I have to take my hedgie to the vet here in a few.  :/

I need time to do this request justice.  :D
 
2013-07-26 01:04:46 PM
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-07-26 01:04:53 PM

Nuclear Monk: Quade....start the reactor!


Shut up Quato. You're drunk.
 
2013-07-26 01:05:36 PM

dj_spanmaster: Herr Docktor Heinrich Wisenheimer: "Holy shiat!. How the fark did I get to Mars without a space suit?"
"Gasp".
"Choke".

Thud.

Look, if you were dying, you wouldn't bother to say, "Gasp", "Choke". Not even if you were dictating.


Sez you. I intend to go out with as much drama as humanly possible. Preferably with explosions. And possibly sharks.
 
2013-07-26 01:05:43 PM
"A man, a plan, a canal... Mars Bar!"
 
2013-07-26 01:05:48 PM
We're buildin' the Walmart right over thar, ya'll.
 
2013-07-26 01:05:59 PM
"Up yours, TechnoBevets! Now, let's 3D print some hot babeliens!"
 
2013-07-26 01:07:34 PM
It's a god-awful small affair

To the girl with the mousy hair
 
2013-07-26 01:08:18 PM
Yatahai
 
2013-07-26 01:09:06 PM

Richard Flaccid: "One small step for man, one giant waste of money for mankind"


Shortsighted goon
 
2013-07-26 01:09:11 PM
"Let sleeping dogs lie."
i.imgur.com
 
2013-07-26 01:09:22 PM

cman: 华人民共和国的赞美和荣耀


1. Smart - click
2. Funny - click
3. Winner - click a roo
 
2013-07-26 01:09:33 PM

dittybopper: Pick: I hear by claim this planet as property of Mars Interplanetary Real Estate Development LLC.

/buy a lot on Mars! Prices have never been lower! New tax abatement program in effect until 12/31/13!

Don't think I'd buy from a company whose initials spell "MIRED".


Also, do you have a flag?
 
2013-07-26 01:09:41 PM
I think the "movie" may have been an episode of the Twilight Zone competitor, The Outer Limits.

They had an episode entitled "The Invisible Enemy" set on Mars, about astronauts who go looking for their missing comrades, always a case of sending good money after bad and a recipe for death and disaster with few survivors.

The astronauts include Adam West (who later played Batman) and Ted Knight, the actor who played Ted Baxter on Mary Tyler Moore. My theory is the character was named Ted so Ted Knight would recognize his name when the other characters talked to him. (Only kidding. I expect he was a real pro. You don't have to be dumbass to play dumbass, although it helps.)

The monsters were like a cross between something by Ray Harryhausen and a crab. Perhaps their Mother was Medusa.
 
2013-07-26 01:10:28 PM
"Well, this is it."

or

""I coulda had a V8!"
 
2013-07-26 01:10:33 PM
"Control, I see something that looks like a blue police call box. Going to investigate"  (then switch off comms)
 
2013-07-26 01:10:34 PM

tommyl66: 1-8-7-7 kars for kids, K-A-R-S kars for kids...

/As the earthlings watching on TV scream in terror


Holy Fark, that jingle makes me want to blow my brains out every time I hear it. Why did you bring it to Fark?

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY!!!!!! click...click.....boom..thud
 
2013-07-26 01:10:40 PM
"I'm here. Thanks, Houston."
 
2013-07-26 01:10:52 PM
LEEEEEEROYYYYYY  JENNNNKINNNNNSSSSSSS!!!!!
 
2013-07-26 01:11:38 PM
Alternative first line: "If anybody claims we did this in a film studio, I will punch their day lights out when we get back to Earth. If we get back to Earth, that is."
 
2013-07-26 01:11:46 PM
"Look, over there! It's Weirdos From Another Planet."
 
2013-07-26 01:12:29 PM
Mankind can finally slipthe surly bonds of Earth,to live forever among the stars!
 
2013-07-26 01:12:58 PM

cowgirl toffee: blatz514: cowgirl toffee: "I'm so excited!! I just shiat my diaper!"

I would like an original cowgirl toffee drawing of what that might look like.

Shiat. Can you wait for it?  I have to take my hedgie to the vet here in a few.  :/

I need time to do this request justice.  :D


*sigh.  Ok.  You have until 4:30 CST.
 
2013-07-26 01:13:34 PM
GET ME OUTTA HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEREEEEEEEEE!
 
2013-07-26 01:13:40 PM
Helllllooo Newman
 
2013-07-26 01:14:20 PM

mr_a: One small step for A man, one giant leap for mankind.


Then you better hope that there isn't a little bit of static right in the middle or people will misunderstand you for decades.
 
2013-07-26 01:14:21 PM
So, this family walks in to a talent agents office.
The agent looks at them as asks "Ok, so what do you do?"
 
2013-07-26 01:14:29 PM
"Science.  It works, biatches."

https://xkcd.com/54/
 
2013-07-26 01:14:45 PM

Circusdog320: Yatahai


i105.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-26 01:14:57 PM
"Why did I bother coming here? It's just a big red desert."
 
2013-07-26 01:15:02 PM
Rand's lacy underwear: "Let sleeping dogs lie."

I wish someone would remaster it using modern rendering techniques and hardware.

// yeah, the original models were lost but people have recreated passable models for game mods.
 
2013-07-26 01:15:58 PM
"Hold on a second guys! One of the lights is making a shadow on the backdrop"
 
2013-07-26 01:16:17 PM
Probably "Oh shiat! I'm farked"
 
2013-07-26 01:16:25 PM
"C'mon man, who dropped ass"
 
2013-07-26 01:16:33 PM
"That's one stall smep for a...

Aw crap.

Can I have another take, Mr. Spielberg?"
 
2013-07-26 01:17:06 PM
"Weeeeee'rrree OFF to see the WIZARD!"

/hopefully not obscure
 
2013-07-26 01:17:17 PM
Wait...  This isn't Chicago!  What flight did I get on?
 
2013-07-26 01:17:33 PM
klaatu barada nikto
 
2013-07-26 01:18:03 PM
Actually, what I'd say is:

"Don't fark up.  Don't fark up. Don't fark up."

And then I would fark up.
 
2013-07-26 01:18:26 PM
"Thanks Obama!"
 
2013-07-26 01:18:49 PM
"See you at the party, Richter!"
 
2013-07-26 01:19:05 PM
Illuminati of Earth, I have the artifact. Initiate extraction.
 
2013-07-26 01:19:26 PM
Attention Martians;

Testicles. That is all.
 
2013-07-26 01:19:37 PM
Depends.  Can I say what I really want, or are the PR hacks going to write it for me?
 
2013-07-26 01:19:39 PM

Ed Grubermann: "Up yours, TechnoBevets! Now, let's 3D print some hot babeliens!"


You're a complete nutcase. You're imbuing a dead deadly rock with magical properties.
 
2013-07-26 01:20:19 PM
"Camera three is making my shadow look weird....Can someone get that boom mike lifted?"
 
2013-07-26 01:20:25 PM
" Holy shiat Marvin.. No farking BEER ? Really? No wonder you're so angry, this place sucks! "
 
2013-07-26 01:20:48 PM

stuffy: klaatu barada nikto


nice.....
 
2013-07-26 01:21:04 PM
TAH DAHHHHH!!!!!

The Aristocrats.
 
2013-07-26 01:21:38 PM
Take me to your lizard!
 
2013-07-26 01:21:56 PM
All hail Groppet the first emperor of Mars, protector of Demios, King of Phobos first man to scale Olympus mons.

Or "This is way better than the moon landing set."

But nothing tacky.
 
2013-07-26 01:22:23 PM
SKEET SKEET SKEET!
 
2013-07-26 01:22:26 PM

Wodan11: Depends.  Can I say what I really want, or are the PR hacks going to write it for me?


Realistically you can probably say whatever you want.

If you make it home from Mars you are a hero for life and they wouldn't dare attempt to punish you.

If you don't make it, who gives a crap.

I wouldn't say anything to totally ruin the moment (like swearing so kids can't hear the event), but a joke seems OK after a LONG time in a little metal box.
 
2013-07-26 01:23:52 PM
"BIE
// EIP"


//it gets lonely out there
 
2013-07-26 01:24:22 PM
www.cyberpunkreview.com
 
2013-07-26 01:24:38 PM
Look sir.  Droids!
 
2013-07-26 01:24:41 PM
Your mom's box
 
2013-07-26 01:24:41 PM
J4T!!
 
2013-07-26 01:24:42 PM
Don't shoot!  Don't shoot!  I am not armed! We come in peace!
 
2013-07-26 01:25:19 PM
我声称中国这个星球
 
2013-07-26 01:25:35 PM
Protip, Never fart in a spacesuit.
 
2013-07-26 01:25:36 PM
'Merica, fark yeah!
 
2013-07-26 01:25:47 PM
Here Rover!  Here Rover!  (Followed by whistles)
 
2013-07-26 01:25:56 PM
Holy crap, lift off, 6 month space flight, safe landing. Hey NASA you can you believe we actually pulled this shiat off.
 
2013-07-26 01:27:29 PM
I would be saying "Ack, cough, gag, ack!"

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-07-26 01:27:35 PM
I release this dove as a symbol... holy hell did you see that thing pop?!?!

As God as my witness, I swear I thought doves could fly on Mars!!
 
2013-07-26 01:28:46 PM

Dr Dreidel: COHAAGEN! GIFF DEES PEEPOL EEYARR!!


win win win
 
2013-07-26 01:28:56 PM
King Sh*t of F*ck Island over here, copy.
 
2013-07-26 01:29:02 PM
Hey all you homeboys out there in the Bronx, this one's for you.

Mars
Needs
Women
 
2013-07-26 01:29:12 PM
"Looks like we landed right on top of one of our hard-working rovers and smashed it flat"
 
2013-07-26 01:29:24 PM

naughtyrev: Wookie_Jesus: Ack! Ack!

[i.imgur.com image 462x251]


I believe that it is pronounced "Nyack!  Nyack!"
 
2013-07-26 01:31:04 PM
This space suit makes me feel like a tough, brute man. I can't wait for our first shore leave so I can get me some f*ckin' poontang.
 
2013-07-26 01:31:54 PM

praxcelis: "Weeeeee'rrree OFF to see the WIZARD!"

/hopefully not obscure


4.bp.blogspot.com
Get the hell out.
 
2013-07-26 01:32:47 PM
What the...how the fark did I get here???
 
2013-07-26 01:33:09 PM
We come in peace. Say, is there any livestock here?
 
2013-07-26 01:33:49 PM
"Two weeks!"
 
2013-07-26 01:34:18 PM
Valentine Smith! So nice to see you buddy!
 
2013-07-26 01:34:20 PM
Earth needs women!

upload.wikimedia.org

/Not really, probably "We boldly go where no one has gone before!"
 
2013-07-26 01:34:29 PM
Work, Rest or Play?

Hey, this red shirt really matches the terrain.
 
2013-07-26 01:34:35 PM
"Shiat piss fark coont cocksucker motherfarker tits."  At which point, I would proceed to pour out a bottle of urine onto the surface.
 
2013-07-26 01:35:14 PM

bongmiester: suck it Armstrong


farker, that was my response too

I'll go with, "That's one small step... for your mother, Armsrtong!"
 
2013-07-26 01:35:26 PM
praxcelis

"Weeeeee'rrree OFF to see the WIZARD!"

"There's a dead witch under our descent stage, and everything's in color."
 
2013-07-26 01:36:11 PM
Well... there goes the planet.
 
2013-07-26 01:37:31 PM
"What time does Honey Boo Boo come on here?"
 
2013-07-26 01:38:38 PM
"A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man."
 
2013-07-26 01:39:44 PM
"Today is the day man first sets foot on another planet, let it not be the last"
 
2013-07-26 01:40:06 PM

Rand's lacy underwear: praxcelis: "Weeeeee'rrree OFF to see the WIZARD!"

/hopefully not obscure

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 316x368]
Get the hell out.


studebaker hoch: praxcelis

"Weeeeee'rrree OFF to see the WIZARD!"

"There's a dead witch under our descent stage, and everything's in color."


It really IS obscure.  And in this crowd, which surprises me.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Thunder_%28novel%29

(First words of the crew of the Thunder, because none of them could think of anything more epic)
 
2013-07-26 01:40:42 PM

Wrath of Heaven: King Sh*t of F*ck Island over here, copy.


Well, I guess someone had to say it.
 
2013-07-26 01:41:01 PM
Houston control, I am stepping onto the Martian surface...hey cool what is Ray Walston doing here?
 
2013-07-26 01:41:47 PM
Where is my illudium q-36 explosive space modulator? Someone has stolen the space modulator.
 
2013-07-26 01:42:04 PM
"My God, it's full of stars!"

*Presses play*

Also sprach Zarathustra ♪
 
2013-07-26 01:43:10 PM
"We could have done this thirty years ago. All you Proxmire wannabees can kiss my ass!"
 
2013-07-26 01:44:16 PM
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
 
2013-07-26 01:44:21 PM
How did that 'We Stand with Walker' sign get here?
 
2013-07-26 01:45:23 PM

JonnyBGoode: Well... there goes the planet.


beardylollipop.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-07-26 01:45:40 PM
I hereby claim this planet in the name of China!
 
2013-07-26 01:45:45 PM
Ask the <a href=http://members.shaw.ca/rlongpre01/moon.html >Onon</a> what was said...
NSFW
 
2013-07-26 01:45:46 PM
Mars is not just our destination, it is our destiny!
cinephillia.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-07-26 01:45:47 PM

praxcelis: Rand's lacy underwear: praxcelis: "Weeeeee'rrree OFF to see the WIZARD!"

/hopefully not obscure

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 316x368]
Get the hell out.

studebaker hoch: praxcelis

"Weeeeee'rrree OFF to see the WIZARD!"

"There's a dead witch under our descent stage, and everything's in color."

It really IS obscure.  And in this crowd, which surprises me.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Thunder_%28novel%29

(First words of the crew of the Thunder, because none of them could think of anything more epic)


Don't cuss around Jules. It upsets him.
 
2013-07-26 01:46:44 PM
What's black and white and red all over?
 
2013-07-26 01:46:47 PM
OMG! All the missing left socks!


(Just keeping the Ren & Stimpy theme going)
 
2013-07-26 01:47:13 PM
Wasssssupppppp?
 
2013-07-26 01:48:34 PM

give me doughnuts: "We could have done this thirty years ago. All you Proxmire wannabees can kiss my ass!"


shiat, we could have had a probe close to entering the Alpha Centauri system by now.   We actually have the technology, just not the political will to accomplish it.
 
2013-07-26 01:49:28 PM

Claude the Dog: "A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man."



Said with raging purple throbber.
 
2013-07-26 01:51:07 PM
My name is Dreamyaltarboy, I'm from San Francisco and I'm standing on Farkin' Mars!

Shamelessly stolen and paraphrased from Raoul Julia from when he was watching the lunar landing in a bar.
 
2013-07-26 01:52:36 PM
Really? All these posts and no Jebediah Kerman?
 
2013-07-26 01:52:45 PM

Sybarite: BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!


SKULLS FOR THE THRONE!!
 
2013-07-26 01:54:00 PM
We landed right next to some kind of alien hardware.  There's some writing ...  it says "30 minutes for each quarter"
 
2013-07-26 01:54:36 PM
*steps out of the capsule*

*looks around*

"...Mars needs women."
 
2013-07-26 01:54:55 PM
"It's all squishy"


/flag
 
2013-07-26 01:55:02 PM
I would quote the bible, of course.

Ezekiel 25:17


/I been sayin' that shiat for years
 
2013-07-26 01:56:15 PM
"Where's the bathroom?"
 
2013-07-26 01:56:37 PM
"Boy, this planet sure is ugly"
 
2013-07-26 01:57:08 PM
"I'm here to kick Martian ass and chew gum, and I'm all out of gum."
 
2013-07-26 01:57:44 PM
"Well here it is, that time they told us about in high school when math would save our lives."
 
2013-07-26 01:57:47 PM
"Hey NASA...I don't want to alarm you, but does anyone there speak Klingon?"
 
2013-07-26 02:01:39 PM
It's been said that The universe is probably littered with the one-planet graves of cultures which made the sensible economic decision that there's no good reason to go into space--each discovered, studied, and remembered by the ones who made the irrational decision.

Well, today we take the first step to ensure that we are the ones who discover, not the ones who are discovered.
 
2013-07-26 02:01:40 PM
"Dangit, I locked the keys inside"
 
2013-07-26 02:02:24 PM
I think my spaceship knows the way.
 
2013-07-26 02:02:31 PM
I hereby claim this planet in the name of the Kerbals!
 
2013-07-26 02:04:28 PM
Given that it would be a one way mission, I'd look at the bleak landscape and softly utter to mission control

"I guess I'll get over it"
 
2013-07-26 02:06:14 PM
"Meh."
 
2013-07-26 02:06:30 PM
What, no welcoming committee?
 
2013-07-26 02:06:30 PM
"Remember when we got kicked out of biology for playing with a space ship? Who's retarded now?"
 
2013-07-26 02:07:34 PM
(sound of spacesuit boot stomping)

"Look at the size of it, I'll be damned.  Armor plated cockroaches!"
 
2013-07-26 02:09:45 PM
"Are we there yet?"

"Oh, Hi.  I'll have a Grande double mocha frapacchino, to go, please."

"Hold my beer, and watch this..."   ...crash...

"What does God need with a spaceship?"
 
2013-07-26 02:11:17 PM
"Today we have slipped our Earthly bonds to.. *pause* What the fark?  Oh god no...."  *mute button*
 
2013-07-26 02:12:21 PM
"NASA...since I am here and no way back, I'm not concerned.  I have this Kindle filled with the greatest books ever written and with the solar panels and battery back ups, it will out last me.  Where did I put it?"  *crunch*  "No...no....this can't be.  It's broken.  There was time now.  It's not fair, there was time now!!!"
 
2013-07-26 02:12:35 PM
"ULLA ULLA ULLA ULLA!!!"

Or,

I'd put a handheld poker game on the ground, and claim it as the first Kiowa Tribal Casino on Mars.

Or,

"Dropo, you're the laziest man on Mars!"

Or,

"Where can I empty my hat?"

Last one,

"2X2L, calling CQ.  2X2L, calling CQ.  Is anyone there?"
 
2013-07-26 02:13:15 PM

praxcelis: It really IS obscure. And in this crowd, which surprises me.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Thunder_%28novel%29

(First words of the crew of the Thunder, because none of them could think of anything more epic)


I see. According to WP it's a teenager book written long after I was one, so I have that excuse.
 
2013-07-26 02:16:20 PM
It was a long journey to the Mars set.
TAKE 2
 
2013-07-26 02:16:41 PM

Great Janitor: "NASA...since I am here and no way back, I'm not concerned.  I have this Kindle filled with the greatest books ever written and with the solar panels and battery back ups, it will out last me.  Where did I put it?"  *crunch*  "No...no....this can't be.  It's broken.  There was time now.  It's not fair, there was time now!!!"


i105.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-26 02:17:58 PM

Optimal_Illusion: "2X2L, calling CQ.  2X2L, calling CQ.  Is anyone there?"


OK, as a fan of the original War of the Worlds radio broadcast, and a ham radio operator, I *LOVE* this one.
 
2013-07-26 02:18:38 PM
blatz514:

cowgirl toffee: blatz514: cowgirl toffee: "I'm so excited!! I just shiat my diaper!"

I would like an original cowgirl toffee drawing of what that might look like.

Shiat. Can you wait for it? I have to take my hedgie to the vet here in a few. :/

I need time to do this request justice. :D

*sigh. Ok. You have until 4:30 CST.


You know, I've come to love CowgirlToffee's work, but there comes a time when you just don't want to plant an idea in an artist's head. Because they WILL do it.

No. Just no.
 
2013-07-26 02:19:27 PM
"Oh look, the Reapers made it here first!"
 
2013-07-26 02:20:10 PM

Rand's lacy underwear: praxcelis: It really IS obscure. And in this crowd, which surprises me.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Thunder_%28novel%29

(First words of the crew of the Thunder, because none of them could think of anything more epic)

I see. According to WP it's a teenager book written long after I was one, so I have that excuse.


No worries.  I hadn't seen any Alex Ross Oz paintings before either so we're even.  And he wrote it in the style of the Heinlein juveniles, but it's Varley, so it's densely written enough for an adult reader.  The entire series is a fun read, but the first book is the best of the lot.  I recommend it.
 
2013-07-26 02:22:14 PM

lordargent: I wish someone would remaster it using modern rendering techniques and hardware.

// yeah, the original models were lost but people have recreated passable models for game mods.


IIRC not only did WB not improve things with the newest DVD release, but for some reason they used copies of copies that were crappier than the original broadcast videos.
 
2013-07-26 02:22:58 PM

dittybopper: Optimal_Illusion: "2X2L, calling CQ.  2X2L, calling CQ.  Is anyone there?"

OK, as a fan of the original War of the Worlds radio broadcast, and a ham radio operator, I *LOVE* this one.


Ever since I first heard a cassette of the Panic Broadcast as a kid in the 80s, that part still can give me the chills.  It always sounds so final.
 
2013-07-26 02:23:12 PM
Duke Sucks
 
2013-07-26 02:27:39 PM
"I'm really angry about 3-d printing technology!"
 
2013-07-26 02:28:52 PM
"God, we made it!"

/Atheist
//It needs to be said.
///If it's obscure, then it's kneecap time.
////Seriously, go hunt it down and read it.
 
2013-07-26 02:30:13 PM

Wrath of Heaven: [www.cyberpunkreview.com image 650x366]


Tommy Lasorda?  On Mars?
 
2013-07-26 02:34:14 PM
Smokes, let's go, gimme some smokes

4onlinetv.com
 
2013-07-26 02:34:19 PM
Just slowly and dramatically begin to sing this. Horribly off key. At the top of my lungs.

/Da dun dun dadada da da dun! DUUUUUUU DEEEE DAAAAAHH!!
 
2013-07-26 02:36:23 PM
Optimal_Illusion:

dittybopper: Optimal_Illusion: "2X2L, calling CQ. 2X2L, calling CQ. Is anyone there?"

OK, as a fan of the original War of the Worlds radio broadcast, and a ham radio operator, I *LOVE* this one.

Ever since I first heard a cassette of the Panic Broadcast as a kid in the 80s, that part still can give me the chills. It always sounds so final.


One of the things I love about horrifically bad sci fi movies from the 50's and 60's is when they manage to creep you the heck out. Queen Of Blood would be an example of of a tragically bad movie that manages to creep you out because of one single scene.
 
2013-07-26 02:37:08 PM
Oh hi guys,  if anyone from my planet asks you if you have oil on Mars just tell them no. Trust me on this one.
 
2013-07-26 02:38:29 PM
"NASA...there is a blue box here and a man calling himself the Doctor...Never mind, he just said that he's sorry, so very very sorry and now he's leaving in a vanishing blue box."
 
2013-07-26 02:40:35 PM

Optimal_Illusion: dittybopper: Optimal_Illusion: "2X2L, calling CQ.  2X2L, calling CQ.  Is anyone there?"

OK, as a fan of the original War of the Worlds radio broadcast, and a ham radio operator, I *LOVE* this one.

Ever since I first heard a cassette of the Panic Broadcast as a kid in the 80s, that part still can give me the chills.  It always sounds so final.


I still have it on 8 track.  My "aunt" dubbed it for me on to 8 track from an LP when I was a wee lad.

Unfortunately, I don't have a working 8 track player, and I haven't had one for at least a couple decades now.  But I hate the idea of throwing it out.

/"aunt" = close friend of my mother
//Not *THAT* close.
 
2013-07-26 02:42:47 PM
"One one two yes!  Two two four no!"


/Obscure?
 
2013-07-26 02:43:10 PM
I land on potato
 
2013-07-26 02:47:09 PM
They say the farking smog is the farking reason you have such beautiful farking sunsets.

-rip Ray Bones
 
2013-07-26 02:50:47 PM
WHAR DE WHITE WIMMEN AT ???
 
2013-07-26 02:51:45 PM

dittybopper: "One one two yes!  Two two four no!"


/Obscure?


"Oh, that.  Here it is."
 
2013-07-26 02:54:59 PM

dittybopper: "One one two yes!  Two two four no!"


/Obscure?


"We are v-r-r-riends."
 
2013-07-26 02:56:55 PM

AlwaysRightBoy: "Where all da red wimmen at?"


Beat me to it!
 
2013-07-26 02:57:13 PM
The Mars. For several years, she has fascinated many. But will man ever walk on her fertile surface?
Democratic hopeful Adlai Stevenson says so.
Stevenson: I have no objection to man walking on the Mars.
By 2064, experts say man will have established twelve
colonies on Mars, ideal for family vacations.
Mars belongs to America, and anxiously awaits the
arrival of our astro-men. Will you be among them?
 
2013-07-26 02:57:25 PM

Great Janitor: "NASA...since I am here and no way back, I'm not concerned.  I have this Kindle filled with the greatest books ever written and with the solar panels and battery back ups, it will out last me.  Where did I put it?"  *crunch*  "No...no....this can't be.  It's broken.  There was time now.  It's not fair, there was time now!!!"


AWESOME UPDATE....
 
2013-07-26 02:59:42 PM
www.badastronomy.com

'I really hate this planet.'
 
2013-07-26 03:04:18 PM
"KAAAAHHHHHHHN!!!"
 
2013-07-26 03:06:07 PM

Cynicism101: mr_a: One small step for A man, one giant leap for mankind.

Relevant, and hilarious!
http://csl.stanford.edu/~gere/satire.html


Thanks for sharing that.  It was pretty clever.  Here's the text for those too lazy to click:

A Person Paper on Purity in Language
It's high time someone blew the whistle on all the silly prattle about revamping our language to suit the purposes of certain political fanatics. You know what I am talking about--those who accuse speakers of English of what they call racism. This awkward neologism, constructed by analogy with the well-established term sexism, does not sit well in the ears, if I may mix my metaphors. But let us grant that in our society there may be injustices here and there in the treatment of either race from time to time, and let us even grant these people their terms racism and racist. How valid, however, are the claims of the self-proclaimed "black libbers," or "negrists"--those who would radically change our language in order to "liberate" us poor dupes from its supposed racist bias?

 Most of the clamor, as you certainly know by now, revolves around the age-old usage of the noun white and words built from it, such as chairwhite, mailwhite, repairwhite, clergywhite, middlewhite, Frenchwhite, forwhite, whitepower, whiteslaughter, oneupswhiteship, straw white, whitehandle, and so on. The negrists claim that using the word white, either on its own or as a component, to talk about all the members of the human species is somehow degrading to blacks and reinforces racism. Therefore the libbers propose that we substitute person everywhere where white now occurs. Sensitive speakers of our secretary tongue of course find this preposterous. There is great beauty to a phrase such as "All whites are created equal." Our forebosses who framed the Declaration of Independence well understood the poetry of our language. Think how ugly it would be to say "All persons are created equal," or "All whites and blacks are created equal." Besides, as any schoolwhitey can tell you, such phrases are redundant. In most contexts, it is self-evident when white is being used in an inclusive sense, in which case it subsumes members of the darker race just as much as fairskins.

There is nothing denigrating to black people in being subsumed under the rubric white--no more than under the rubric person. After all, white is a mixture of all the colors of the rainbow, including black. Used inclusively, the word white has no connotations whatsoever of race. Yet many people are hung up on this point. A prime example is Abraham Moses, one of the more vocal spokeswhites for making such a shift. For years, Niss Moses, autheroon of the well-known negrist tracts "A Handbook of Nonracist Writing" and "Words and Blacks," has had nothing better to do than go around the country making speeches advocating the downfall of "racist language" that ble objects to. But when you analyze bler objections, you find they all fall apart at the seams. Niss Moses says that words like chairwhite suggest to people--most especially impressionable young whiteys and blackeys--that all chairwhites belong to the white race. How absurd! It is quite obvious, for instance, that the chairwhite of the League of Black Voters is going to be a black, not a white. Nobody need think twice about it. As a matter of fact, the suffix white is usually not pronounced with a long `i' as in the noun white, but like `wit,' as in the terms saleswhite, freshwhite, penwhiteship, first basewhite, and so on. It's just a simple and useful component in building race-neutral words.

But Niss Moses would have you sit up and start hollering "Racism!" In fact, Niss Moses sees evidence of racism under every stone. Ble has written a famous article, in which ble vehemently objects to the immortal and poetic words of the first white on the moon, Captain Nellie Strongarm. If you will recall, whis words were: "One small step for a white, a giant step for whitekind." This noble sentiment is anything but racist; it is simply a celebration of a glorious moment in the history of White.

Another of Niss Moses's shrill objections is to the age-old differentiation of whites from blacks by the third-person pronouns whe and ble. Ble promotes an absurd notion: that what we really need in English is a single pronoun covering both races. Numerous suggestions have been made, such as pe, tey, and others. These are all repugnant to the nature of the English language, as the average white in the street will testify, even if whe has no linguistic training whatsoever. Then there are the advocates of usages such as "whe or ble," "whis or bler," and so forth. This makes for monstrosities such has the sentence "When the next president takes office, whe or ble will have to choose whis or bler cabinet with great care, for whe or ble would not want to offend any minorities." Constrast this with the spare elegance of the normal way of putting it, and there is no question which way we ought to speak. There are, of course, some yapping black libbers who advocate writing bl/whe everywhere, which, aside from looking terrible, has no reasonable pronunciation. Shall be say blooey all the time when we simply mean whe? Who wants to sound like a white with a chronic sneeze?

 . . . I would merely point out to the overzealous that there are some extravagant notions about language that should be recognized for what they are: cheap attempts to let dogmatic, narrow minds enforce their views on the speakers lucky enough to have inherited the richest, most beautiful and flexible language on earth, a language whose traditions run back through the centuries to such deathless poets as Milton, Shakespeare, Wordsworth, Keats, Walt Whitwhite, and so many others. Our language owes an incalculable debt to these whites for their clarity of vision and expression, and if the shallow minds of bandwagon-jumping negrists succeed in destroying this precious heritage for all whites of good will, that will be, without any doubt, a truly female day in the history of Northern White.


 
2013-07-26 03:06:30 PM
I don't know what I say when I got there, but when I get home,  people'd be, like, "There he goes; homeboy farked aMartian once."
 
2013-07-26 03:08:10 PM

Diogenes: "And now this planet is hereby claimed for the Earth in the name of DUCK DODGERS IN THE 24 1/2TH CENTURY!"


Winnar.
 
2013-07-26 03:12:56 PM
!
 
2013-07-26 03:14:21 PM
It's good to finally be home.
 
2013-07-26 03:16:51 PM

FloydA: dittybopper: "One one two yes!  Two two four no!"


/Obscure?

"We are v-r-r-riends."


Ouch!
 
2013-07-26 03:19:24 PM
"Rocket Ship Envoy located. No survivors.  Check that, one survivor"

/sorry fark
//no time to see how many repeats.
 
2013-07-26 03:19:36 PM
"Hey, (crewmate)!  This little guy wants to know if we might happen to have a spare Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator."

/Some references have it as the Pu-36.
 
2013-07-26 03:20:02 PM
"Royal babies, pah, I'm on farking Mars!"
 
2013-07-26 03:22:15 PM
"Hey where are all the white women at?!?"
 
2013-07-26 03:27:16 PM
你好
 
2013-07-26 03:30:12 PM
One of these two.

Is this thing on?  Hey Monkeys!

Those two wet gits were right.  I can't get away from this song.  Then play it
 
2013-07-26 03:33:57 PM
I wouldn't say anything, I'd just piss my name into the dirt as the entire world watched.
 
2013-07-26 03:35:33 PM
"Ya'aa'tey!"

/definitely not obscure
 
2013-07-26 03:36:17 PM
"Uhhh... It looks like some sort of extruded resin."
 
2013-07-26 03:36:34 PM
Take that, biatches.

/flips off Earth
 
2013-07-26 03:40:42 PM
It wasn't me!
 
2013-07-26 03:43:01 PM
IDKFA
 
2013-07-26 03:43:25 PM
"As the first person on Mars, I'm setting up two rules: no Jews and no Blacks."
 
2013-07-26 03:44:40 PM
"We're no strangers to love.  You know the rules, and so do I..."

/that would be epic
 
2013-07-26 03:49:03 PM

BuckTurgidson: IDKFA


*NICE*.
 
2013-07-26 03:53:28 PM

FloydA: dittybopper: "One one two yes!  Two two four no!"


/Obscure?

"We are v-r-r-riends."


Ouch!
 
2013-07-26 03:56:47 PM
"We got signal. Main screen turn on."
 
2013-07-26 03:57:25 PM

dittybopper: FloydA: dittybopper: "One one two yes!  Two two four no!"


/Obscure?

"We are v-r-r-riends."

Ouch!


Hey, no fair butting in on your own obscure/not obscure.
 
2013-07-26 04:05:06 PM
"Suck it Armstrong"
 
2013-07-26 04:05:16 PM
Well, Cohaagen. I've got to hand it to you. It's the best mind-fark yet.
 
2013-07-26 04:05:45 PM
Spray my urine everywhere.
"Mine."

or

"Cripes, I can't wait to drop a deuce."
 
2013-07-26 04:06:23 PM
Did I close the garage door? I'm sure I did. I did not see it close but I'm sure i closed it. Did it go back up?
 
2013-07-26 04:06:29 PM

KierzanDax: Spray my urine everywhere.
"Mine."

or

"Cripes, I can't wait to drop a deuce."


You do realize they wear diapers on an EVA, right?

What am I saying. That might be your fetish for all I know.
 
2013-07-26 04:09:07 PM
Holy crap! I landed i Arizona!
 
2013-07-26 04:24:49 PM
Rented a tent
Rented a tent
Rented a tent
 
2013-07-26 04:28:36 PM
what the hell is this Total Recall bull shiate? I wanted to be on Uranus!  I want my money back.

or maybe a simple head nod and 'sup
 
2013-07-26 04:29:03 PM
"Is there life in the universe?"
 
2013-07-26 04:34:39 PM
TFA:  "If I were to be the first to set foot on Mars, I think I'd have to go back to the Roman mythology and Mars was the god of war and I'd say 'We as a race step foot on this planet in peace not war'."

No matter what else the first words may be, do NOT let them be this. The correct phrase is SET foot, not STEP foot.
 
2013-07-26 04:46:15 PM
Skynyrd rules!!
 
2013-07-26 04:52:22 PM
Woah man I'm on the MOTHER FARKING MARS, MAAAAN!!!
 
2013-07-26 04:57:37 PM
Suck it Richard C. Hoagland. Nothing here
 
2013-07-26 04:59:19 PM
. Why didn't somebody tell me my ass was so big?
 
2013-07-26 05:03:20 PM
Oh, shiat. There goes the planet.
 
2013-07-26 05:03:29 PM
"Which way to Center Camp?"
 
2013-07-26 05:10:24 PM
Hey! You said the grass was greener in Mars. There ain't no damn grass here. Dafuq!
 
2013-07-26 05:13:54 PM
"That's one small step for a woman, one giant leap for womankind."

SUCK IT UP MEN!!
 
2013-07-26 05:18:40 PM
I have to go to the bathroom...
 
2013-07-26 05:23:39 PM
"Ladies and Gentlemen, Rock n roll!"  Then I plant the flag.
 
2013-07-26 05:24:36 PM
waitingforthecircus.com
"That was a hell of a thing..."
 
2013-07-26 05:25:00 PM
i44.tinypic.com
 
2013-07-26 06:13:32 PM
Ack ack ack Ack ack ack ack ack.
 
2013-07-26 06:22:21 PM
"Kirk to Enterprise"
 
2013-07-26 06:51:04 PM
Is there a Starbucks close by?
 
2013-07-26 07:46:43 PM

I'd probably say "knock knock," a martian would probably say "whos' there" or whatever the fark they say, and I'd probably say "fark off martian and get me some farking weed and booze cuz I'm gonna get farking wasted you green skinned fark."



fuuka.warosu.org
 
2013-07-26 08:10:21 PM
techbeat.com
I'd hit that.
 
2013-07-26 08:19:53 PM
s21.postimg.org

Errrr...What's up, Doc?
 
2013-07-26 08:54:56 PM
I would immediately start looking for the Prothean ruins since the Reapers are coming!

And I'd have Houston send a hot chick painted blue with tentacle hair
 
2013-07-26 09:05:36 PM
"Well...how did I get here?"
 
2013-07-26 09:14:33 PM
You put your left foot in, you take your left foot out, you put your left foot in, and you shake it all about, you do the hokey pokey, and you turn yourself around, that's what it's all about!

///HORRORS!
//What if the Hokey Pokey really IS what it's all about?
/slashie?
 
2013-07-26 09:23:33 PM
"Hey everybody, we're all gonna get laid!"
 
2013-07-26 10:01:11 PM
Move along. Nothing to see here.

upload.wikimedia.org     www.midwinter.com
 
2013-07-26 10:30:22 PM
"Thank Fark. If I had to chew that gum for another five seconds..."
"Yeah? Imagine how I feel!"
"Shut up, Tim!"

upload.wikimedia.org    billbixby.com
 
2013-07-26 10:39:23 PM
Bah-weep-Graaaaagnah wheep nini bong
 
2013-07-26 10:49:51 PM
"It's just rocks!"
 
2013-07-26 11:13:07 PM
I would prepare and memorize a carefully planned and profound speech which would result in me doing something like...
i41.tinypic.com
 
2013-07-26 11:52:20 PM
The moss-covered, three-handled family gredunza!
 
2013-07-27 12:19:51 AM
"Holy shiat, it's actually Mars."
 
2013-07-27 12:25:35 AM
www.trbimg.com
 
2013-07-27 02:13:02 AM
"Ok, guys, remember: walk without rhythm and we won't attract the worm. It'll go to the thumper."
 
2013-07-27 02:49:08 AM
"Good luck serving that summons HERE!"
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-07-27 03:01:33 AM
"Get some women here pronto to clean up all this farking dust and make me a damned sammich!"
 
2013-07-27 04:58:29 AM
"Science biatches! It works."
 
2013-07-27 05:01:35 AM
"GAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

cfs3.blog.daum.net
 
2013-07-27 05:38:11 AM
Two weeks.  Get ready for a surprise!
 
2013-07-27 10:19:09 AM
why is there a dick on mars
 
2013-07-27 11:36:49 AM
This isn't my stop.
 
2013-07-27 12:21:27 PM

blatz514: cowgirl toffee: blatz514: cowgirl toffee: "I'm so excited!! I just shiat my diaper!"

I would like an original cowgirl toffee drawing of what that might look like.

Shiat. Can you wait for it?  I have to take my hedgie to the vet here in a few.  :/

I need time to do this request justice.  :D

*sigh.  Ok.  You have until 4:30 CST.


Sorry. Couldn't make it. :(  I had some not-so-good news at the vet.  @_@
 
2013-07-27 12:30:59 PM
I blame Obama.
 
2013-07-27 12:35:34 PM

cowgirl toffee: blatz514: cowgirl toffee: blatz514: cowgirl toffee: "I'm so excited!! I just shiat my diaper!"

I would like an original cowgirl toffee drawing of what that might look like.

Shiat. Can you wait for it?  I have to take my hedgie to the vet here in a few.  :/

I need time to do this request justice.  :D

*sigh.  Ok.  You have until 4:30 CST.

Sorry. Couldn't make it. :(  I had some not-so-good news at the vet.  @_@


Awww. Sucky. Sorry to hear.
 
2013-07-27 12:37:58 PM

cowgirl toffee:  I had some not-so-good news at the vet.  @_@


i105.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-27 12:46:32 PM

blatz514: cowgirl toffee: blatz514: cowgirl toffee: "I'm so excited!! I just shiat my diaper!"

I would like an original cowgirl toffee drawing of what that might look like.

Shiat. Can you wait for it?  I have to take my hedgie to the vet here in a few.  :/

I need time to do this request justice.  :D

*sigh.  Ok.  You have until 4:30 CST.


img6.imageshack.us
 
2013-07-27 12:48:45 PM

FloydA: cowgirl toffee:  I had some not-so-good news at the vet.  @_@

[i105.photobucket.com image 426x640]


Need hugs.
 
2013-07-27 12:49:41 PM

blatz514: cowgirl toffee: blatz514: cowgirl toffee: blatz514: cowgirl toffee: ...

Awww. Sucky. Sorry to hear.


But... I got the pic done.  :)
 
2013-07-27 12:57:24 PM

cowgirl toffee: FloydA: cowgirl toffee:  I had some not-so-good news at the vet.  @_@

[i105.photobucket.com image 426x640]

Need hugs.


i105.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-27 12:58:23 PM

cowgirl toffee: blatz514: cowgirl toffee: blatz514: cowgirl toffee: blatz514: cowgirl toffee: ...

Awww. Sucky. Sorry to hear.

But... I got the pic done.  :)


YAY! awesome. I'm on mobile and can't tell if you have TF, so whenever you need a month, I got ya
 
2013-07-27 01:00:27 PM

FloydA: cowgirl toffee: FloydA: cowgirl toffee:  I had some not-so-good news at the vet.  @_@

[i105.photobucket.com image 426x640]

Need hugs.

[i105.photobucket.com image 500x500]


Thanks.

img191.imageshack.us

I needed it.  :,)
 
2013-07-27 01:06:01 PM

blatz514: cowgirl toffee: blatz514: cowgirl toffee: blatz514: cowgirl toffee: blatz514: cowgirl toffee: ...
...

YAY! awesome. I'm on mobile and can't tell if you have TF, so whenever you need a month, I got ya


WHOOO-HOOOO! That's so sweet.  You don't have to get me TF-ed. :)  But if serious, it's up in 2 weeks.  :P
 
2013-07-27 01:12:52 PM

cowgirl toffee: blatz514: cowgirl toffee: blatz514: cowgirl toffee: blatz514: cowgirl toffee: blatz514: cowgirl toffee: ...
...

YAY! awesome. I'm on mobile and can't tell if you have TF, so whenever you need a month, I got ya

WHOOO-HOOOO! That's so sweet.  You don't have to get me TF-ed. :)  But if serious, it's up in 2 weeks.  :P


You gotter otter. Just give a reminder!
 
2013-07-27 01:18:54 PM

cowgirl toffee: FloydA: cowgirl toffee: FloydA: cowgirl toffee:  I had some not-so-good news at the vet.  @_@

[i105.photobucket.com image 426x640]

Need hugs.

[i105.photobucket.com image 500x500]

Thanks.

[img191.imageshack.us image 600x449]

I needed it.  :,)


i105.photobucket.com
Moar
 
2013-07-27 01:38:15 PM

blatz514: cowgirl toffee: blatz514: cowgirl toffee: blatz514: cowgirl toffee: blatz514: cowgirl toffee: blatz514: cowgirl toffee: ...
...

YAY! awesome. I'm on mobile and can't tell if you have TF, so whenever you need a month, I got ya

WHOOO-HOOOO! That's so sweet.  You don't have to get me TF-ed. :)  But if serious, it's up in 2 weeks.  :P

You gotter otter. Just give a reminder!


*giddy*  TF... its just like hugs wrapped in lots of sarcasm.
 
2013-07-27 01:39:40 PM

FloydA: cowgirl toffee: FloydA: cowgirl toffee: FloydA: cowgirl toffee: ...

Moar


Moar.

img4.imageshack.us
 
2013-07-27 01:43:47 PM
img546.imageshack.us
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-07-27 01:45:08 PM

cowgirl toffee: FloydA: cowgirl toffee: FloydA: cowgirl toffee: FloydA: cowgirl toffee: ...

Moar

Moar.

[img4.imageshack.us image 520x640]


Sink kittehs send moar huz n kissies
katsrock.com
 
2013-07-27 02:13:40 PM
Raise your hands if you want hugs!

img856.imageshack.us
 
2013-07-27 02:13:46 PM

cowgirl toffee: FloydA: cowgirl toffee: FloydA: cowgirl toffee: FloydA: cowgirl toffee: ...

Moar

Moar.

[img4.imageshack.us image 520x640]


i105.photobucket.com i105.photobucket.com i105.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-27 02:15:32 PM
img43.imageshack.us
 
2013-07-27 02:31:53 PM

gja: cowgirl toffee: FloydA: cowgirl toffee: FloydA: cowgirl toffee: FloydA: cowgirl toffee: ...

...

Sink kittehs send moar huz n kissies
[katsrock.com image 372x256]


Thanks for bowl kitten hugs. :)
 
2013-07-27 05:15:28 PM
Astronaut 1:  "Why does the surface of Mars...move?"

Astronaut 2:  "Cats.  Why did it have to be cats."
 
2013-07-27 06:38:14 PM
Greetings from Capricorn One!
 
2013-07-27 11:58:00 PM
I claim this planet for me. Suck it NASA.
 
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