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(BBC)   If you were the first human to set foot on Mars, what would you say?   (bbc.co.uk) divider line 379
    More: Interesting, first human, Roman mythology, artificial gravity, Imperial College London  
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3503 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Jul 2013 at 12:47 PM (51 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



379 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-07-26 02:11:17 PM
"Today we have slipped our Earthly bonds to.. *pause* What the fark?  Oh god no...."  *mute button*
 
2013-07-26 02:12:21 PM
"NASA...since I am here and no way back, I'm not concerned.  I have this Kindle filled with the greatest books ever written and with the solar panels and battery back ups, it will out last me.  Where did I put it?"  *crunch*  "No...no....this can't be.  It's broken.  There was time now.  It's not fair, there was time now!!!"
 
2013-07-26 02:12:35 PM
"ULLA ULLA ULLA ULLA!!!"

Or,

I'd put a handheld poker game on the ground, and claim it as the first Kiowa Tribal Casino on Mars.

Or,

"Dropo, you're the laziest man on Mars!"

Or,

"Where can I empty my hat?"

Last one,

"2X2L, calling CQ.  2X2L, calling CQ.  Is anyone there?"
 
2013-07-26 02:13:15 PM

praxcelis: It really IS obscure. And in this crowd, which surprises me.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Thunder_%28novel%29

(First words of the crew of the Thunder, because none of them could think of anything more epic)


I see. According to WP it's a teenager book written long after I was one, so I have that excuse.
 
2013-07-26 02:16:20 PM
It was a long journey to the Mars set.
TAKE 2
 
2013-07-26 02:16:41 PM

Great Janitor: "NASA...since I am here and no way back, I'm not concerned.  I have this Kindle filled with the greatest books ever written and with the solar panels and battery back ups, it will out last me.  Where did I put it?"  *crunch*  "No...no....this can't be.  It's broken.  There was time now.  It's not fair, there was time now!!!"


i105.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-26 02:17:58 PM

Optimal_Illusion: "2X2L, calling CQ.  2X2L, calling CQ.  Is anyone there?"


OK, as a fan of the original War of the Worlds radio broadcast, and a ham radio operator, I *LOVE* this one.
 
2013-07-26 02:18:38 PM
blatz514:

cowgirl toffee: blatz514: cowgirl toffee: "I'm so excited!! I just shiat my diaper!"

I would like an original cowgirl toffee drawing of what that might look like.

Shiat. Can you wait for it? I have to take my hedgie to the vet here in a few. :/

I need time to do this request justice. :D

*sigh. Ok. You have until 4:30 CST.


You know, I've come to love CowgirlToffee's work, but there comes a time when you just don't want to plant an idea in an artist's head. Because they WILL do it.

No. Just no.
 
2013-07-26 02:19:27 PM
"Oh look, the Reapers made it here first!"
 
2013-07-26 02:20:10 PM

Rand's lacy underwear: praxcelis: It really IS obscure. And in this crowd, which surprises me.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Thunder_%28novel%29

(First words of the crew of the Thunder, because none of them could think of anything more epic)

I see. According to WP it's a teenager book written long after I was one, so I have that excuse.


No worries.  I hadn't seen any Alex Ross Oz paintings before either so we're even.  And he wrote it in the style of the Heinlein juveniles, but it's Varley, so it's densely written enough for an adult reader.  The entire series is a fun read, but the first book is the best of the lot.  I recommend it.
 
2013-07-26 02:22:14 PM

lordargent: I wish someone would remaster it using modern rendering techniques and hardware.

// yeah, the original models were lost but people have recreated passable models for game mods.


IIRC not only did WB not improve things with the newest DVD release, but for some reason they used copies of copies that were crappier than the original broadcast videos.
 
2013-07-26 02:22:58 PM

dittybopper: Optimal_Illusion: "2X2L, calling CQ.  2X2L, calling CQ.  Is anyone there?"

OK, as a fan of the original War of the Worlds radio broadcast, and a ham radio operator, I *LOVE* this one.


Ever since I first heard a cassette of the Panic Broadcast as a kid in the 80s, that part still can give me the chills.  It always sounds so final.
 
2013-07-26 02:23:12 PM
Duke Sucks
 
2013-07-26 02:27:39 PM
"I'm really angry about 3-d printing technology!"
 
2013-07-26 02:28:52 PM
"God, we made it!"

/Atheist
//It needs to be said.
///If it's obscure, then it's kneecap time.
////Seriously, go hunt it down and read it.
 
2013-07-26 02:30:13 PM

Wrath of Heaven: [www.cyberpunkreview.com image 650x366]


Tommy Lasorda?  On Mars?
 
2013-07-26 02:34:14 PM
Smokes, let's go, gimme some smokes

4onlinetv.com
 
2013-07-26 02:34:19 PM
Just slowly and dramatically begin to sing this. Horribly off key. At the top of my lungs.

/Da dun dun dadada da da dun! DUUUUUUU DEEEE DAAAAAHH!!
 
2013-07-26 02:36:23 PM
Optimal_Illusion:

dittybopper: Optimal_Illusion: "2X2L, calling CQ. 2X2L, calling CQ. Is anyone there?"

OK, as a fan of the original War of the Worlds radio broadcast, and a ham radio operator, I *LOVE* this one.

Ever since I first heard a cassette of the Panic Broadcast as a kid in the 80s, that part still can give me the chills. It always sounds so final.


One of the things I love about horrifically bad sci fi movies from the 50's and 60's is when they manage to creep you the heck out. Queen Of Blood would be an example of of a tragically bad movie that manages to creep you out because of one single scene.
 
2013-07-26 02:37:08 PM
Oh hi guys,  if anyone from my planet asks you if you have oil on Mars just tell them no. Trust me on this one.
 
2013-07-26 02:38:29 PM
"NASA...there is a blue box here and a man calling himself the Doctor...Never mind, he just said that he's sorry, so very very sorry and now he's leaving in a vanishing blue box."
 
2013-07-26 02:40:35 PM

Optimal_Illusion: dittybopper: Optimal_Illusion: "2X2L, calling CQ.  2X2L, calling CQ.  Is anyone there?"

OK, as a fan of the original War of the Worlds radio broadcast, and a ham radio operator, I *LOVE* this one.

Ever since I first heard a cassette of the Panic Broadcast as a kid in the 80s, that part still can give me the chills.  It always sounds so final.


I still have it on 8 track.  My "aunt" dubbed it for me on to 8 track from an LP when I was a wee lad.

Unfortunately, I don't have a working 8 track player, and I haven't had one for at least a couple decades now.  But I hate the idea of throwing it out.

/"aunt" = close friend of my mother
//Not *THAT* close.
 
2013-07-26 02:42:47 PM
"One one two yes!  Two two four no!"


/Obscure?
 
2013-07-26 02:43:10 PM
I land on potato
 
2013-07-26 02:47:09 PM
They say the farking smog is the farking reason you have such beautiful farking sunsets.

-rip Ray Bones
 
2013-07-26 02:50:47 PM
WHAR DE WHITE WIMMEN AT ???
 
2013-07-26 02:51:45 PM

dittybopper: "One one two yes!  Two two four no!"


/Obscure?


"Oh, that.  Here it is."
 
2013-07-26 02:54:59 PM

dittybopper: "One one two yes!  Two two four no!"


/Obscure?


"We are v-r-r-riends."
 
2013-07-26 02:56:55 PM

AlwaysRightBoy: "Where all da red wimmen at?"


Beat me to it!
 
2013-07-26 02:57:13 PM
The Mars. For several years, she has fascinated many. But will man ever walk on her fertile surface?
Democratic hopeful Adlai Stevenson says so.
Stevenson: I have no objection to man walking on the Mars.
By 2064, experts say man will have established twelve
colonies on Mars, ideal for family vacations.
Mars belongs to America, and anxiously awaits the
arrival of our astro-men. Will you be among them?
 
2013-07-26 02:57:25 PM

Great Janitor: "NASA...since I am here and no way back, I'm not concerned.  I have this Kindle filled with the greatest books ever written and with the solar panels and battery back ups, it will out last me.  Where did I put it?"  *crunch*  "No...no....this can't be.  It's broken.  There was time now.  It's not fair, there was time now!!!"


AWESOME UPDATE....
 
2013-07-26 02:59:42 PM
www.badastronomy.com

'I really hate this planet.'
 
2013-07-26 03:04:18 PM
"KAAAAHHHHHHHN!!!"
 
2013-07-26 03:06:07 PM

Cynicism101: mr_a: One small step for A man, one giant leap for mankind.

Relevant, and hilarious!
http://csl.stanford.edu/~gere/satire.html


Thanks for sharing that.  It was pretty clever.  Here's the text for those too lazy to click:

A Person Paper on Purity in Language
It's high time someone blew the whistle on all the silly prattle about revamping our language to suit the purposes of certain political fanatics. You know what I am talking about--those who accuse speakers of English of what they call racism. This awkward neologism, constructed by analogy with the well-established term sexism, does not sit well in the ears, if I may mix my metaphors. But let us grant that in our society there may be injustices here and there in the treatment of either race from time to time, and let us even grant these people their terms racism and racist. How valid, however, are the claims of the self-proclaimed "black libbers," or "negrists"--those who would radically change our language in order to "liberate" us poor dupes from its supposed racist bias?

 Most of the clamor, as you certainly know by now, revolves around the age-old usage of the noun white and words built from it, such as chairwhite, mailwhite, repairwhite, clergywhite, middlewhite, Frenchwhite, forwhite, whitepower, whiteslaughter, oneupswhiteship, straw white, whitehandle, and so on. The negrists claim that using the word white, either on its own or as a component, to talk about all the members of the human species is somehow degrading to blacks and reinforces racism. Therefore the libbers propose that we substitute person everywhere where white now occurs. Sensitive speakers of our secretary tongue of course find this preposterous. There is great beauty to a phrase such as "All whites are created equal." Our forebosses who framed the Declaration of Independence well understood the poetry of our language. Think how ugly it would be to say "All persons are created equal," or "All whites and blacks are created equal." Besides, as any schoolwhitey can tell you, such phrases are redundant. In most contexts, it is self-evident when white is being used in an inclusive sense, in which case it subsumes members of the darker race just as much as fairskins.

There is nothing denigrating to black people in being subsumed under the rubric white--no more than under the rubric person. After all, white is a mixture of all the colors of the rainbow, including black. Used inclusively, the word white has no connotations whatsoever of race. Yet many people are hung up on this point. A prime example is Abraham Moses, one of the more vocal spokeswhites for making such a shift. For years, Niss Moses, autheroon of the well-known negrist tracts "A Handbook of Nonracist Writing" and "Words and Blacks," has had nothing better to do than go around the country making speeches advocating the downfall of "racist language" that ble objects to. But when you analyze bler objections, you find they all fall apart at the seams. Niss Moses says that words like chairwhite suggest to people--most especially impressionable young whiteys and blackeys--that all chairwhites belong to the white race. How absurd! It is quite obvious, for instance, that the chairwhite of the League of Black Voters is going to be a black, not a white. Nobody need think twice about it. As a matter of fact, the suffix white is usually not pronounced with a long `i' as in the noun white, but like `wit,' as in the terms saleswhite, freshwhite, penwhiteship, first basewhite, and so on. It's just a simple and useful component in building race-neutral words.

But Niss Moses would have you sit up and start hollering "Racism!" In fact, Niss Moses sees evidence of racism under every stone. Ble has written a famous article, in which ble vehemently objects to the immortal and poetic words of the first white on the moon, Captain Nellie Strongarm. If you will recall, whis words were: "One small step for a white, a giant step for whitekind." This noble sentiment is anything but racist; it is simply a celebration of a glorious moment in the history of White.

Another of Niss Moses's shrill objections is to the age-old differentiation of whites from blacks by the third-person pronouns whe and ble. Ble promotes an absurd notion: that what we really need in English is a single pronoun covering both races. Numerous suggestions have been made, such as pe, tey, and others. These are all repugnant to the nature of the English language, as the average white in the street will testify, even if whe has no linguistic training whatsoever. Then there are the advocates of usages such as "whe or ble," "whis or bler," and so forth. This makes for monstrosities such has the sentence "When the next president takes office, whe or ble will have to choose whis or bler cabinet with great care, for whe or ble would not want to offend any minorities." Constrast this with the spare elegance of the normal way of putting it, and there is no question which way we ought to speak. There are, of course, some yapping black libbers who advocate writing bl/whe everywhere, which, aside from looking terrible, has no reasonable pronunciation. Shall be say blooey all the time when we simply mean whe? Who wants to sound like a white with a chronic sneeze?

 . . . I would merely point out to the overzealous that there are some extravagant notions about language that should be recognized for what they are: cheap attempts to let dogmatic, narrow minds enforce their views on the speakers lucky enough to have inherited the richest, most beautiful and flexible language on earth, a language whose traditions run back through the centuries to such deathless poets as Milton, Shakespeare, Wordsworth, Keats, Walt Whitwhite, and so many others. Our language owes an incalculable debt to these whites for their clarity of vision and expression, and if the shallow minds of bandwagon-jumping negrists succeed in destroying this precious heritage for all whites of good will, that will be, without any doubt, a truly female day in the history of Northern White.


 
2013-07-26 03:06:30 PM
I don't know what I say when I got there, but when I get home,  people'd be, like, "There he goes; homeboy farked aMartian once."
 
2013-07-26 03:08:10 PM

Diogenes: "And now this planet is hereby claimed for the Earth in the name of DUCK DODGERS IN THE 24 1/2TH CENTURY!"


Winnar.
 
2013-07-26 03:12:56 PM
!
 
2013-07-26 03:14:21 PM
It's good to finally be home.
 
2013-07-26 03:16:51 PM

FloydA: dittybopper: "One one two yes!  Two two four no!"


/Obscure?

"We are v-r-r-riends."


Ouch!
 
2013-07-26 03:19:24 PM
"Rocket Ship Envoy located. No survivors.  Check that, one survivor"

/sorry fark
//no time to see how many repeats.
 
2013-07-26 03:19:36 PM
"Hey, (crewmate)!  This little guy wants to know if we might happen to have a spare Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator."

/Some references have it as the Pu-36.
 
2013-07-26 03:20:02 PM
"Royal babies, pah, I'm on farking Mars!"
 
2013-07-26 03:22:15 PM
"Hey where are all the white women at?!?"
 
2013-07-26 03:27:16 PM
你好
 
2013-07-26 03:30:12 PM
One of these two.

Is this thing on?  Hey Monkeys!

Those two wet gits were right.  I can't get away from this song.  Then play it
 
2013-07-26 03:33:57 PM
I wouldn't say anything, I'd just piss my name into the dirt as the entire world watched.
 
2013-07-26 03:35:33 PM
"Ya'aa'tey!"

/definitely not obscure
 
2013-07-26 03:36:17 PM
"Uhhh... It looks like some sort of extruded resin."
 
2013-07-26 03:36:34 PM
Take that, biatches.

/flips off Earth
 
2013-07-26 03:40:42 PM
It wasn't me!
 
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