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(BBC)   If you were the first human to set foot on Mars, what would you say?   (bbc.co.uk) divider line 379
    More: Interesting, first human, Roman mythology, artificial gravity, Imperial College London  
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3507 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Jul 2013 at 12:47 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



379 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-07-26 12:59:44 PM  
"One small step for man, one giant waste of money for mankind"
 
2013-07-26 01:00:07 PM  
Ahoy
 
2013-07-26 01:00:34 PM  
Mars ain't the kind of place to raise your kids.
 
2013-07-26 01:00:35 PM  
I don't grok this place.
 
2013-07-26 01:00:38 PM  
Damn, it's dusty here...
 
2013-07-26 01:00:51 PM  
Wheres the bathroom?  That was a long trip.
 
2013-07-26 01:00:56 PM  
Well, well, well... looks like's there's life on Mars now.

or

Hey Timmy, get the damn boom mic out of camera.
 
2013-07-26 01:01:10 PM  
Huh. This is, in fact, not the kind of place to raise my kid.
 
2013-07-26 01:01:14 PM  
FIRST!
 
2013-07-26 01:01:20 PM  
Don't bite the mailman
 
2013-07-26 01:01:23 PM  
"w00t!!! I got first step!!!11!!"
 
2013-07-26 01:01:30 PM  
Pump up the volume
Pump up the volume
Pump up the volume
Dance. Dance.
 
2013-07-26 01:01:34 PM  
With a single small step, mankind takes a great leap.
<deep breath>
Although named for the worst of man, the planet has now been visited in peace by mankind, for all of mankind.  And may this moment of exploration serve as a reminder that in unity and peace mankind can do far more than separately or in conflict.

/I know serious is serious
//You jokesters had the funny stuff covered.
 
2013-07-26 01:02:19 PM  
what would you say?

Knock knock on the door
Who's it for, nobody in here
Look in the mirror my friend
 
2013-07-26 01:02:52 PM  
I'm stuck to my chair. I'm so very scared. Help.
 
2013-07-26 01:03:07 PM  
BOOBIES!

/True Farker that I am.
 
2013-07-26 01:03:29 PM  
Quade....start the reactor!
 
2013-07-26 01:03:30 PM  
"Humanities first steps on a new planet.  Hopefully we don't screw this one up too."

or

"We brought a flag.  This is ours now."
 
2013-07-26 01:03:47 PM  
Where now? Who now? When now?
 
2013-07-26 01:04:01 PM  
KKCO

!!!!
 
2013-07-26 01:04:11 PM  
"What the fark was I thinking?"
 
2013-07-26 01:04:28 PM  
What's a police call box doing here?!
 
2013-07-26 01:04:36 PM  
1-8-7-7 kars for kids, K-A-R-S kars for kids...

/As the earthlings watching on TV scream in terror
 
2013-07-26 01:04:36 PM  
or something like that
 
2013-07-26 01:04:39 PM  

blatz514: cowgirl toffee: "I'm so excited!! I just shiat my diaper!"

I would like an original cowgirl toffee drawing of what that might look like.


Shiat. Can you wait for it?  I have to take my hedgie to the vet here in a few.  :/

I need time to do this request justice.  :D
 
2013-07-26 01:04:46 PM  
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-07-26 01:04:53 PM  

Nuclear Monk: Quade....start the reactor!


Shut up Quato. You're drunk.
 
2013-07-26 01:05:36 PM  

dj_spanmaster: Herr Docktor Heinrich Wisenheimer: "Holy shiat!. How the fark did I get to Mars without a space suit?"
"Gasp".
"Choke".

Thud.

Look, if you were dying, you wouldn't bother to say, "Gasp", "Choke". Not even if you were dictating.


Sez you. I intend to go out with as much drama as humanly possible. Preferably with explosions. And possibly sharks.
 
2013-07-26 01:05:43 PM  
"A man, a plan, a canal... Mars Bar!"
 
2013-07-26 01:05:48 PM  
We're buildin' the Walmart right over thar, ya'll.
 
2013-07-26 01:05:59 PM  
"Up yours, TechnoBevets! Now, let's 3D print some hot babeliens!"
 
2013-07-26 01:07:34 PM  
It's a god-awful small affair

To the girl with the mousy hair
 
2013-07-26 01:08:18 PM  
Yatahai
 
2013-07-26 01:09:06 PM  

Richard Flaccid: "One small step for man, one giant waste of money for mankind"


Shortsighted goon
 
2013-07-26 01:09:11 PM  
"Let sleeping dogs lie."
i.imgur.com
 
2013-07-26 01:09:22 PM  

cman: 华人民共和国的赞美和荣耀


1. Smart - click
2. Funny - click
3. Winner - click a roo
 
2013-07-26 01:09:33 PM  

dittybopper: Pick: I hear by claim this planet as property of Mars Interplanetary Real Estate Development LLC.

/buy a lot on Mars! Prices have never been lower! New tax abatement program in effect until 12/31/13!

Don't think I'd buy from a company whose initials spell "MIRED".


Also, do you have a flag?
 
2013-07-26 01:09:41 PM  
I think the "movie" may have been an episode of the Twilight Zone competitor, The Outer Limits.

They had an episode entitled "The Invisible Enemy" set on Mars, about astronauts who go looking for their missing comrades, always a case of sending good money after bad and a recipe for death and disaster with few survivors.

The astronauts include Adam West (who later played Batman) and Ted Knight, the actor who played Ted Baxter on Mary Tyler Moore. My theory is the character was named Ted so Ted Knight would recognize his name when the other characters talked to him. (Only kidding. I expect he was a real pro. You don't have to be dumbass to play dumbass, although it helps.)

The monsters were like a cross between something by Ray Harryhausen and a crab. Perhaps their Mother was Medusa.
 
2013-07-26 01:10:28 PM  
"Well, this is it."

or

""I coulda had a V8!"
 
2013-07-26 01:10:33 PM  
"Control, I see something that looks like a blue police call box. Going to investigate"  (then switch off comms)
 
2013-07-26 01:10:34 PM  

tommyl66: 1-8-7-7 kars for kids, K-A-R-S kars for kids...

/As the earthlings watching on TV scream in terror


Holy Fark, that jingle makes me want to blow my brains out every time I hear it. Why did you bring it to Fark?

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY!!!!!! click...click.....boom..thud
 
2013-07-26 01:10:40 PM  
"I'm here. Thanks, Houston."
 
2013-07-26 01:10:52 PM  
LEEEEEEROYYYYYY  JENNNNKINNNNNSSSSSSS!!!!!
 
2013-07-26 01:11:38 PM  
Alternative first line: "If anybody claims we did this in a film studio, I will punch their day lights out when we get back to Earth. If we get back to Earth, that is."
 
2013-07-26 01:11:46 PM  
"Look, over there! It's Weirdos From Another Planet."
 
2013-07-26 01:12:29 PM  
Mankind can finally slipthe surly bonds of Earth,to live forever among the stars!
 
2013-07-26 01:12:58 PM  

cowgirl toffee: blatz514: cowgirl toffee: "I'm so excited!! I just shiat my diaper!"

I would like an original cowgirl toffee drawing of what that might look like.

Shiat. Can you wait for it?  I have to take my hedgie to the vet here in a few.  :/

I need time to do this request justice.  :D


*sigh.  Ok.  You have until 4:30 CST.
 
2013-07-26 01:13:34 PM  
GET ME OUTTA HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEREEEEEEEEE!
 
2013-07-26 01:13:40 PM  
Helllllooo Newman
 
2013-07-26 01:14:20 PM  

mr_a: One small step for A man, one giant leap for mankind.


Then you better hope that there isn't a little bit of static right in the middle or people will misunderstand you for decades.
 
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