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(CBS News)   When walking your dog in NC it is best to look out for: A) traffic B) hunters c) 500 lb gators   (cbsnews.com) divider line 50
    More: Scary, North Carolina, can't be sure, dogs  
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3868 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Jul 2013 at 8:13 AM (37 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



50 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-07-26 08:15:31 AM
[insert Archer quote listing fatal alligator attacks]
 
2013-07-26 08:15:53 AM
Cool.  I saw this movie on SyFy.
 
2013-07-26 08:17:27 AM
Of course. If it looks like a duck, and walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it must be an 80-pound Husky.
 
2013-07-26 08:19:10 AM
How farking stupid are you people? If you live where there are alligators, don't walk at the edge of the farking water. Especially early in the morning or at dusk.
 
2013-07-26 08:20:28 AM
Yep, they're in the rivers in NC and SC.  My grandfather had a great retriever named Buster.  He used to throw sticks into the river and Buster would fetch them out, until one time he didn't.
 
2013-07-26 08:21:06 AM
The dog was off-leash. The alligator was doing the world a favor.
 
2013-07-26 08:21:22 AM
There are at least three good sets of luggage and a pair of boots there...
 
2013-07-26 08:22:59 AM
He thought it was a hot dog. Well it is summer time.
 
2013-07-26 08:24:08 AM
Poor dog :(

Fark you lady for letting your dog off lead
 
2013-07-26 08:30:14 AM
An 80-pound duck? Re-locate a 12-foot gator?  What's in the water up there, besides alligators.

Hopefully, the police shot the dog's remains for good measure.
 
2013-07-26 08:35:14 AM
CHOOT EM! CHOOT EM!
 
2013-07-26 08:35:20 AM
It really sucks that the solution to the problem is to kill the poor gator.  What the fark does he know?!  He's an alligator!

The woman should not have had the dog running loose - especially near the water's edge.  They should have shot her instead.
 
2013-07-26 08:36:01 AM
It always bothers me when they decide to kill an animal who is just being an animal.  Is it retribution, revenge, or did they expect to find the dog living in the gator's stomach waiting to be rescued?  Accomplishes nothing and a waste of resources. Let it go.
 
2013-07-26 08:36:25 AM
AFLAC!!
 
2013-07-26 08:41:08 AM

abhorrent1: How farking stupid are you people?


Umm...  Have you seen some of the headlines coming out of North Carolina lately?
 
2013-07-26 08:43:17 AM
Alligators (especially a 500 pound one) aren't usually found that far north. I wouldn't blame it all on stupid.
 
2013-07-26 08:43:43 AM
D) Stupid people. According to TFA, there's plenty of them in NC
 
2013-07-26 08:45:49 AM

berylman: It always bothers me when they decide to kill an animal who is just being an animal.  Is it retribution, revenge, or did they expect to find the dog living in the gator's stomach waiting to be rescued?  Accomplishes nothing and a waste of resources. Let it go.


I agree. It's like when Tim Tidwell decided to become bear food and then they went out found the one that killed him and killed it.

...and now we will never know really what the gator thought the dog was.
 
2013-07-26 08:50:49 AM
Holy schneikies! I saw that story and assumed it happened in Jacksonville, Florida, not North Carolina! I didn't think we got gators nearly that big in NC. Dayum!
 
2013-07-26 08:52:20 AM
Poor Queequeg
 
2013-07-26 09:02:59 AM

LandOfChocolate: Poor dog :(

Fark you lady for letting your dog off lead


Exactly. Very sad about the dog, but the lady should not be allowed to have another one.
 
2013-07-26 09:08:00 AM
which is worse?  1 five hundred pound gator or 500 one pound gators?  Is there an optimal ratio such as 5 one hundred pounders?  DIscuss.
 
2013-07-26 09:09:46 AM
People please, let's worry about the real issue at hand: That gator obviously has a death boner.  This was all an elaborate sex game that went too far.
 
2013-07-26 09:12:16 AM

Russ1642: Poor Queequeg


25.media.tumblr.com
I think he'll be OK.
 
2013-07-26 09:22:04 AM
Police think the alligator may have mistaken the dog for a large duck.

Yeah, nope.  The alligator thought it was dinner, and he was right.
 
2013-07-26 09:33:36 AM
J4G!
 
2013-07-26 09:40:18 AM

Pontious Pilates: Holy schneikies! I saw that story and assumed it happened in Jacksonville, Florida, not North Carolina! I didn't think we got gators nearly that big in NC. Dayum!


You're in NC? Huh.
 
2013-07-26 10:07:44 AM

lewismarktwo: People please, let's worry about the real issue at hand: That gator obviously has a death boner.  This was all an elaborate sex game that went too far.


Lulz, I noticed that too and wasn't sure if it was just the pixels or what.  (Asian crocodile joke)
 
2013-07-26 10:22:39 AM
DinoGator.
 
2013-07-26 10:24:00 AM

Russ1642: Poor Queequeg


To be fair, little Queequeg had feasted on his previous owners flesh, so he kind of had it coming.
 
2013-07-26 10:28:42 AM

Carn: Police think the alligator may have mistaken the dog for a large duck.

Yeah, nope.  The alligator thought it was dinner, and he was right.


I think that if a gator sees something moving, and the gator is hungry, that something moving is food.  The gator does not say, "Dayum... that is a big duck..."
 
2013-07-26 10:31:15 AM
The dog's head above water would be the duck the alligator thought it saw.
And husky dog is a alligator aphrodisiac.
 
2013-07-26 10:34:28 AM

metallion: Carn: Police think the alligator may have mistaken the dog for a large duck.

Yeah, nope.  The alligator thought it was dinner, and he was right.

I think that if a gator sees something moving, and the gator is hungry, that something moving is food.  The gator does not say, "Dayum... that is a big duck..."


Exactly.  That is one big ass gator.
 
2013-07-26 10:38:35 AM

metallion: There are at least three good sets of luggage and a pair of boots there...


Don't forget about all that meat, gators are tasty.
 
2013-07-26 10:41:43 AM
whoops, i read that as NYC as was like WTF, IDK my BFF JILL!?!?!?!
 
2013-07-26 10:57:46 AM

StrikitRich: An 80-pound duck? Re-locate a 12-foot gator?  What's in the water up there, besides alligators.

Hopefully, the police shot the dog's remains for good measure.

Mainly this


http://www.dnr.state.md.us/bay/cblife/algae/dino/pfiesteria/fact s.html   and the occasional 200 lb alligator snapper.

The way the local news reporter gave the large duck line cracked me up to no end.
 
2013-07-26 11:06:36 AM

fireclown: which is worse?  1 five hundred pound gator or 500 one pound gators?  Is there an optimal ratio such as 5 one hundred pounders?  DIscuss.


Well, I prefer to think in terms of "which is better."

/quack
//quack
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-07-26 11:17:22 AM
500 pounder?!
Holy farking hell
 
2013-07-26 11:23:32 AM

Russ1642: Poor Queequeg


Holy Smokes, an X-Files ref.

You win teh Internets this hour.
 
2013-07-26 11:23:35 AM

berylman: It always bothers me when they decide to kill an animal who is just being an animal.  Is it retribution, revenge, or did they expect to find the dog living in the gator's stomach waiting to be rescued?  Accomplishes nothing and a waste of resources. Let it go.


What does letting it go accomplish? Aside from giving it another chance to eat people's pets or a person. It was in an area that put it into conflict with human interests so it's getting turned into boots and belts.
 
2013-07-26 11:40:51 AM

Vodka Zombie: abhorrent1: How farking stupid are you people?

Umm...  Have you seen some of the headlines coming out of North Carolina lately?


KStDrew: D) Stupid people. According to TFA, there's plenty of them in NC


This is also Onslow County we're talking about.  Jacksonville is the white trash version of Fayetteville.
 
2013-07-26 11:56:33 AM
I misread NC as NYC for a moment.

Oh, North Carolina. That makes sense then. But seeing as crocodiles have been spotted basking on the banks of the Thames, it's probably only time before global warming brings alligators to Jamaica Bay, Long Island, or allows people to dump their pets. Will alligators bask on the South Shore of New Jersey three hundred years from now? NOT SOON ENOUGH, DAMMIT! Turn on the oven and crank up the AC!

I hear even the Bushes in Florida are over run with iguanas. Serves them right. I hope the Burmese pythons get them both.

By the way, I would like to reiterate my opinion, shared with Abe Simpson, that there are too many states nowadays. I vote for the merging of the two Carolinas and the two Dakotas. They are seriously redundant.

And you might as well merge the Tri-State Area into New York. The main difference between New Jersey and New York is that New Jersey people are a sickly colour of orange, while New Yorkers are a sickly colour of blue-gray.

Who needs Rhode Island? Merge it as well. The existence of these states bothers a lot of people. We'll all be happier when they are gone. We can leave Washington, DC, Maryland and Deleware to the sea.
 
2013-07-26 12:27:55 PM
Some Chinese restaurant lost out on the lunch special.
 
2013-07-26 12:36:36 PM
You people blaming the owner are assholes. An 80lb dog in NC being eaten by a gator sounds like a freak accident to me. And I live in MIssissippi, on the water-where my fenced in backyard is literally on the bayou. I still have to let my 12lb and 50lb dogs go to the bathroom out there. We see gators occasionally in the water, but they are no where near big enough to attack my 50lb dog. We do make jokes about the little one being gator food, but I tell myself the wall up from the water will keep them from being attacked. Not much else we can do about it. The dogs are going to walk around the yard. We can't always time it with low-tide (impossible for the gators to even get near the yard with low tide).
 
2013-07-26 12:59:49 PM

Solon Isonomia: [insert Archer quote listing fatal alligator attacks]


Sarasota County, FL - Chet Willard age 16, Killed by 11 ft gator while swimming in the Oak River Canal.Chatham County, GA - Ruth Baker age 39, killed in her backyard by a 10 ft gator.Pinellas County, FL - Walter Janks age 70 and his dog, killed by a 12 ft gator.
 
2013-07-26 01:09:08 PM
wouldn't that be 420 lbs gator eats 80 lbs dog.

/maths
 
2013-07-26 01:46:10 PM

brantgoose: I misread NC as NYC for a moment.

Oh, North Carolina. That makes sense then. But seeing as crocodiles have been spotted basking on the banks of the Thames, it's probably only time before global warming brings alligators to Jamaica Bay, Long Island, or allows people to dump their pets. Will alligators bask on the South Shore of New Jersey three hundred years from now? NOT SOON ENOUGH, DAMMIT! Turn on the oven and crank up the AC!

I hear even the Bushes in Florida are over run with iguanas. Serves them right. I hope the Burmese pythons get them both.

By the way, I would like to reiterate my opinion, shared with Abe Simpson, that there are too many states nowadays. I vote for the merging of the two Carolinas and the two Dakotas. They are seriously redundant.

And you might as well merge the Tri-State Area into New York. The main difference between New Jersey and New York is that New Jersey people are a sickly colour of orange, while New Yorkers are a sickly colour of blue-gray.

Who needs Rhode Island? Merge it as well. The existence of these states bothers a lot of people. We'll all be happier when they are gone. We can leave Washington, DC, Maryland and Deleware to the sea.


FARK.  NO.  Georgia can have Worst Carolina.
 
2013-07-26 02:06:15 PM

UNC_Samurai: brantgoose: I misread NC as NYC for a moment.

Oh, North Carolina. That makes sense then. But seeing as crocodiles have been spotted basking on the banks of the Thames, it's probably only time before global warming brings alligators to Jamaica Bay, Long Island, or allows people to dump their pets. Will alligators bask on the South Shore of New Jersey three hundred years from now? NOT SOON ENOUGH, DAMMIT! Turn on the oven and crank up the AC!

I hear even the Bushes in Florida are over run with iguanas. Serves them right. I hope the Burmese pythons get them both.

By the way, I would like to reiterate my opinion, shared with Abe Simpson, that there are too many states nowadays. I vote for the merging of the two Carolinas and the two Dakotas. They are seriously redundant.

And you might as well merge the Tri-State Area into New York. The main difference between New Jersey and New York is that New Jersey people are a sickly colour of orange, while New Yorkers are a sickly colour of blue-gray.

Who needs Rhode Island? Merge it as well. The existence of these states bothers a lot of people. We'll all be happier when they are gone. We can leave Washington, DC, Maryland and Deleware to the sea.

FARK.  NO.  Georgia can have Worst Carolina.


I say merge the Dakotas and then merge Rhode Island, Massachusetts, and Connecticut.  Make Delaware, Maryland, the eastern half of West Virginia and North Virginia into one state.  Give the rest of West Virginia to Ohio and/or Kentucky. Split California in half.

There, I fixed it.
 
2013-07-26 03:14:05 PM
Let him tell you about the dog HE got:

userserve-ak.last.fm
 
2013-07-26 09:10:20 PM

UNC_Samurai: brantgoose: I misread NC as NYC for a moment.

Oh, North Carolina. That makes sense then. But seeing as crocodiles have been spotted basking on the banks of the Thames, it's probably only time before global warming brings alligators to Jamaica Bay, Long Island, or allows people to dump their pets. Will alligators bask on the South Shore of New Jersey three hundred years from now? NOT SOON ENOUGH, DAMMIT! Turn on the oven and crank up the AC!

I hear even the Bushes in Florida are over run with iguanas. Serves them right. I hope the Burmese pythons get them both.

By the way, I would like to reiterate my opinion, shared with Abe Simpson, that there are too many states nowadays. I vote for the merging of the two Carolinas and the two Dakotas. They are seriously redundant.

And you might as well merge the Tri-State Area into New York. The main difference between New Jersey and New York is that New Jersey people are a sickly colour of orange, while New Yorkers are a sickly colour of blue-gray.

Who needs Rhode Island? Merge it as well. The existence of these states bothers a lot of people. We'll all be happier when they are gone. We can leave Washington, DC, Maryland and Deleware to the sea.

FARK.  NO.  Georgia can have Worst Carolina.


I'll second that.
 
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