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(Central Intelligence Agency)   Subby gets a chance to spend 3 months in Manila. Company will comp all expenses and offer a bonus. No family worries. What's considered a "good" bonus? Difficulty: Have two cats and It will be December and cold when Farker gets home. Advice? LGN NDIT   (cia.gov) divider line 45
    More: Advice  
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2452 clicks; posted to FarkUs » on 25 Jul 2013 at 8:03 PM (37 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



45 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-07-25 07:19:20 PM
Good bonus would be FREE FOLDERS FOR LIFE!
 
2013-07-25 07:48:15 PM
a.tgcdn.net
 
2013-07-25 07:57:02 PM
Pawn Stars the complete series on DVD and 3 month supply of penicillin
 
2013-07-25 08:00:36 PM
Hell, if they're paying all expenses and keeping me on my current salary I'd do it with no bonus.  Your money should stretch a lot further over there for daily incidentals as well, even if they don't have a food/entertainment stipend.
 
2013-07-25 08:08:56 PM
My company gives 15% for long term assignments.
 
2013-07-25 08:10:55 PM
Lumpia, and sex with two women a night.

/And a man.
 
2013-07-25 08:10:58 PM
I guess it depends how unique your services are.
 
2013-07-25 08:18:58 PM
pretty sure the philippines could take care of your cats.
 
2013-07-25 08:19:18 PM
Front row tickets to the Ice Capades and a ride on the Goodyear Blimp.
 
2013-07-25 08:24:14 PM
A good deep dickin'.
 
2013-07-25 08:25:26 PM
depending on the island there may not be enough money.
 
2013-07-25 08:26:31 PM
Well, if you don't consider your cats to be family, just put them up for adoption. You can get more when you get back. Or you could pay someone a small fortune to take care of them until you return.
 
2013-07-25 08:29:13 PM
Beautiful country. Is Olongapo City still like it was during the Nam days?
 
2013-07-25 08:42:42 PM
i105.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-25 08:43:19 PM
Military or outsourcing jobs to lower paying countries?  Don't tell me you are a masseuse.
 
2013-07-25 08:52:08 PM
MOM?!?!  you promised me you wouldn't do that anymore!  The sores just healed!
 
2013-07-25 09:17:37 PM
l1.yimg.com

This seems like a nice bonus
 
2013-07-25 09:19:51 PM

RatMaster999: [l1.yimg.com image 850x1275]

This seems like a nice bonus


She has razor stubble. I'd ask for a few weeks supply of antibiotics.
 
2013-07-25 09:31:35 PM
Hookers and blow would be an exception bonus.
 
2013-07-25 09:40:24 PM
20% of 3 months wages... or one months (extra) wages as a bonus
 
2013-07-25 09:47:19 PM
Lots of the chicks there have weeners subby. Be careful.

Or have fun... whatever floats your boat.

/Monkey grabs the peach.
//Lots of variables you didn't let us know... but 10-20% of your salary for that time sounds fair.
 
2013-07-25 09:56:45 PM
I've done the expat thing.

Make sure
1) you'll be working normal hours - be careful about "oh, but we need you on the regular Tuesday 3:00 conference call" which will happen at 2 am your time
2) no legal issues - visa, etc
3) support staff - some locals who'll make sure you have medical care if needed, translation, orientation

Have them pay for your cats to be boarded/petsat.  Then get 10%

The real bonus - take advantage of every free moment you're there to check things out.  Take long weekends in Ho Chi Minh City, Taipei, Seoul, Bangkok.
 
2013-07-25 10:01:18 PM
Do you own a microwave?
 
2013-07-25 10:04:48 PM
Get your shots before you go.
 
2013-07-25 11:03:01 PM

TheDumbBlonde: She has razor stubble. I'd ask for a few weeks supply of antibiotics.


Insist that she wear a condom, too.
 
2013-07-25 11:58:03 PM

Barricaded Gunman: TheDumbBlonde: She has razor stubble. I'd ask for a few weeks supply of antibiotics.

Insist that she wear a condom, too.


No adams apple, and the only stubble I see is right above the pubic region.  I'm not sure why that hints that she may be STD-ridden, it could be that she just didn't shave that day or has fast growing hair.
 
FNG [TotalFark]
2013-07-26 03:02:18 AM
Don't bring your cats.
 
2013-07-26 03:47:11 AM
You have two cats? A good bonus would be if they take your cats away.
 
2013-07-26 04:18:07 AM
Find a good friend to leave the cats with, or to check into your pad daily and feed/ litter change / puke wipe up/etc . And to make sure they have warm places to sleep. Dont let said friend use a space heater and burn your place down.
best of luck
 
2013-07-26 05:11:25 AM
If Subby is single, I hear they can fix that.

/Many of my wife's friends are Filipinas brought to the US by their American husbands.
 
2013-07-26 10:16:08 AM
Have a trusted friend cat sit. Someone mature. The cats will be happiest this way. Please keep them safe.
 
2013-07-26 10:29:01 AM
Sell the cats to the local ethnic restaurant before you leave and you maximize your profits.
 
2013-07-26 10:51:48 AM
What does having two cats and It being December and cold have to do with anything? Have someone come by your place a few times a week to care for the cats. Really doesn't seem that difficult.
 
2013-07-26 11:17:08 AM
Stay away from balut.
 
2013-07-26 11:23:46 AM
Hopefully this is the last post needed.
Subby here,
They wanted the volunteer to leave ASAP.
Be gone for three months, (come back and you better have your snow tires on) to train agents in a call center.
Asked the VP one question. "What is the location of the physical plant?"
He did not know the name of the city off the top of his head. Let alone the street address.

If the VP doesn't know where he's sending you, you have no support.
It's a trap.
 
2013-07-26 11:36:05 AM

vudukungfu: It's a trap.


If you end up being suckered into some kind of hideous human raw material trafficking scheme, and melted down for mineral and iron content, who gets your stuff?
 
2013-07-26 12:36:02 PM

markie_farkie: vudukungfu: It's a trap.

If you end up being suckered into some kind of hideous human raw material trafficking scheme, and melted down for mineral and iron content, who gets your stuff?


My neighbor. He and I have a deal where we destroy each other HDs, and keep the rest.
 
2013-07-26 01:34:38 PM
Your name doesn't happen to be Randy Waterhouse does it?
 
2013-07-26 01:45:51 PM
Also. all of the shots they wanted me to take require boosters to work and they wanted me to leave in one month.
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
 
2013-07-26 01:46:31 PM
 
2013-07-26 02:36:57 PM

vudukungfu: Hopefully this is the last post needed.
Subby here,
They wanted the volunteer to leave ASAP.
Be gone for three months, (come back and you better have your snow tires on) to train agents in a call center.
Asked the VP one question. "What is the location of the physical plant?"
He did not know the name of the city off the top of his head. Let alone the street address.

If the VP doesn't know where he's sending you, you have no support.
It's a trap.


Why the hurry?  Did the guy who was originally tapped to do this chicken out, or did he quit?  Or is the company so farked up that they didn't plan on this?
 
2013-07-26 02:42:01 PM

FrancoFile: the company so farked up that they didn't plan on this


This.
And they have been planning for a year at HQ.

Nope. Not even gonna do it.
 
2013-07-26 04:27:42 PM
Bring your cats with you, they can sniff out transsexuals.
 
2013-07-26 07:40:26 PM

vudukungfu: FrancoFile: the company so farked up that they didn't plan on this

This.
And they have been planning for a year at HQ.

Nope. Not even gonna do it.


Forget the expat factor.  I wouldn't take this job if it was a 3-month assignment in Denver.
 
2013-07-27 04:11:03 AM

vudukungfu: FrancoFile: the company so farked up that they didn't plan on this

This.
And they have been planning for a year at HQ.

Nope. Not even gonna do it.


Hey,

vudukungfu: Hopefully this is the last post needed.
Subby here,
They wanted the volunteer to leave ASAP.
Be gone for three months, (come back and you better have your snow tires on) to train agents in a call center.
Asked the VP one question. "What is the location of the physical plant?"
He did not know the name of the city off the top of his head. Let alone the street address.

If the VP doesn't know where he's sending you, you have no support.
It's a trap.


Out of curiosity, what industry is the call center in?  I've got a contact in-country who's got a crapload of experience dealing with various call centers, and unless yours is something completely unheard-of, might be available for a few months (or more, if desired) as a trainer.  Might be significantly cheaper than giving you a tropical vacation you don't even want. ;-)
 
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