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(USA Today)   Legal experts, married FARKers warn gays about the downsides of marriage   (rssfeeds.usatoday.com ) divider line
    More: Obvious, National Center for Lesbian Rights, same-sex marriages, domestic partners, Spring Home, gays  
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1827 clicks; posted to Politics » on 25 Jul 2013 at 6:09 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-07-25 09:08:48 PM  

Cletus C.: roadmarks: 
/we're not gay-married however

I've never been good at riddles. But good for you two (three?) anyway.



Pray 4 Mojo: roadmarks: //I'm gay, the wife is not

Hmmm...

Gimme a second... I'll figure it out.


We are in a same-sex marriage, (thank you NYS) but Labgrrl's bisexual, so we can't be totally GAY-married :)

She usually tells people that she isn't a lesbian, but she did marry one.
 
2013-07-25 09:25:36 PM  
This the thread where I can say that 10 years ago I almost got married and didn't, and it turned out to be one of the *best* decisions -ever-?

... seriously, fark marriage, just live together.
 
2013-07-25 09:28:46 PM  
I do get tired of hearing the "now gays can be just as miserable as straight folks" and similar lines.  I deal with it because it's usually repeated by folks who at least feel that everybody should have that right (and by right I do of course mean marriage).  But that's kind of the crux of it.  Even if marriage is guaranteed to end in divorce, unhappiness and all the other negative stereotypes associated with it, it's still something that a portion of the populace is denied.  And besides, just because you or your friends royally flunked up, got tied to some unbearable asshole or coontweed, doesn't mean it's everyone's fate.
 
2013-07-25 09:43:32 PM  
The change in spin from "you'll ruin the institution" to "the institution will ruin you" has given me whiplash.
 
2013-07-25 09:45:56 PM  
I think anyone should be able to get married, and am for equal rights.

Having said that I insist on some court show with the productions ethics of Judge Judy to see how a minority of gay marriages end, the trainwrecks being the most fun to watch.

/Admit it, it would be interesting TV.
 
2013-07-25 09:56:44 PM  
Rushing getting gay married is OK in Skyrim.  Done it twice so far.  Now I'm regular married but I'm a cat and she's a broad.  Weird.  Still beats ponies
 
2013-07-25 10:01:40 PM  

Smeggy Smurf: Rushing getting gay married is OK in Skyrim.  Done it twice so far.  Now I'm regular married but I'm a cat and she's a broad.  Weird.  Still beats ponies


Dafuq did I just read?
 
2013-07-25 10:09:53 PM  
it's time you had the additional  privileges woes afforded straights
 
2013-07-25 10:11:28 PM  
Frankly, I like being married. It's well past the time for the Federal Government to be be involved in any marriage at all.
 
2013-07-25 10:27:40 PM  

Ninja Otter: Surool: Being married does not make you love your SO more, it won't stop either of you from cheating if you really want to, and when you break up, you have a huge delay while the government gets involved.

It does add some handy legal rights (hospital visitation, inheritance, etc.)

On the other hand, supposedly 30-60% of married people have cheated at some point in their relationships (by a definition that probably doesn't count Anthony Weiner). sometimes this comes out, other times not. So a goodly fraction of marriages mean one of the participants is keeping a painful secret for a lifetime (to avoid the same fate as the Weiners), even if the couple decides to stay together.


The key phrase being "at some point". The regular basis cheaters are more like 1-2%.
 
2013-07-25 10:28:40 PM  

NuttierThanEver: Why buy the cow when you are getting the sodomy for free?


Because she said she was pregnant.

/lying biatch.
 
2013-07-25 10:40:00 PM  
" ticking/licking time-bomb"

I do think that would make a nifty Fark log-in.
 
2013-07-25 10:52:49 PM  

Pray 4 Mojo: An ex-girlfriend of mine got gay-married in kind of a rush (for the reasons cautioned against in TFA)... she's farking miserable.

/that's right... I'm so repulsive I drive women to the other team.


Or you were so awesome, no other man could possibly measure up.

/always look on the bright side of life
 
2013-07-25 11:04:05 PM  
It's actually for real now, so don't do it to make a point, piss off your parents, or for the photo op. Or because you're in love.

Do it because you are actually interested in combining your lives together legally and financially forever.
 
2013-07-25 11:06:58 PM  

wax_on: The new missus has a nice 6 figure income.  I have a nice zero figure income.  Tax wise this is going to work out for us ok.  I have more assets but she has more income.  Wonder how it would work out if it comes to divorce.  She gets half my assets but I get alimony?  My understanding is that under CA law she doesn't automatically get half of what I brought into the marriage but we get to share any property or assets acquired after the we get married.  So I should be sitting pretty.


Generally, anything you own when you get married is yours as long as you don't mix it with post-marriage stuff.
 
2013-07-25 11:11:27 PM  
NuttierThanEver:
Why buy the cow when you are getting the sodomy for free?

Especially when the sodomy tends to go away after the wedding...
 
2013-07-25 11:22:57 PM  
Just ask Tiger Woods, Hulk Hogan, Arnold Schwarzenneger, James, Cameron, or Michael Douglas, how expensive marriage is, at least when it ends.  Remember, you wanted this.
 
2013-07-25 11:35:20 PM  
You really want to acquire a mother-in-law?  Good luck with that.
 
2013-07-25 11:51:14 PM  

AngryDragon: Prenup.  Always.

Learned painfully after being taken for 6-figures, custody, AND spousal support by a drug addict ex-wife.  Then again, does a F-F or M-M divorce negate the gender bias?


Should have just made sure she had enough for an overdose.
 
2013-07-26 12:02:13 AM  
You know what's cool?  States don't have to honor contracts that are valid in other states.  I know that's true cuz I saw it on Fox Nooz.
 
2013-07-26 12:03:52 AM  
How farking gay.
 
2013-07-26 12:05:06 AM  

Smeggy Smurf: Rushing getting gay married is OK in Skyrim.  Done it twice so far.  Now I'm regular married but I'm a cat and she's a broad.  Weird.  Still beats ponies


LOLWUT?
 
2013-07-26 12:15:54 AM  

cchris_39: The key phrase being "at some point". The regular basis cheaters are more like 1-2%.


But even one brief affair can be a pretty hard thing to deal with, even years later. They love the person and forgive them but the emotional scars and knife wound to the ego linger.  The regular basis cheaters may be less of a problem because they're probablymore likely to get divorced, either because they prefer the new person or the spouse finally says enough.
 
2013-07-26 01:00:19 AM  
There's no trick to it. Take your time making a wise choice, and then spend the rest of your life working to make your marriage happy. TA-DA! Also, kids. Have them. They make you a better person than you thought you could be.
 
2013-07-26 01:03:47 AM  

Ow! That was my feelings!: They should just say lesbians. 77% of Coloradoans taking advantage of the new civil union law are lesbians. Sometimes stereotypes are true, gay guys apparently don't want to commit anymore than straight guys.


Well, remember how people complain that there aren't many female engineers because we apply social pressures that make it a negative for girls to be good at math, or how we reward males with social standing and money more frequently for violence and now the majority of our violent criminals are male?

Well, there's a long cultural history and set of social pressures that have for decades ensured that women come out of a marriage no worse than they went in, but a man leaving a marriage loses his farking shirt.  When you raise kids around images of men having to take a real risk to engage (ha, ha, puns!) in a marriage and of women always having it net a profit, you're going to end up with more women than men ready to involve themselves in it, whether they grow up straight or gay.
 
2013-07-26 01:06:33 AM  

Mike Chewbacca: Is this the thread where bitter farkers complain about choosing poor life partners and how doing so backfired on them?


No, this is the thread where you explain how a sheet of paper made your love all that more meaningful.
 
2013-07-26 01:25:46 AM  

Notabunny: There's no trick to it. Take your time making a wise choice, and then spend the rest of your life working to make your marriage happy. TA-DA! Also, kids. Have them. They make you a better person than you thought you could be.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
                         THIS



My wife also made me a better person than I am naturally inclined to be....
 
2013-07-26 01:39:38 AM  
You know what would solve this whole situation? Ban marriages for everyone, it's a broken institution that generally heavily benefits one person over the other.
 
2013-07-26 01:49:33 AM  
Getting gay married without thinking it through? There's already a (very funny) webseries about just that.
 
2013-07-26 02:21:09 AM  

Lando Lincoln: Mike Chewbacca: Is this the thread where bitter farkers complain about choosing poor life partners and how doing so backfired on them?

No, this is the thread where you explain how a sheet of paper made your love all that more meaningful.


Hmm. Are you sure it's not the thread where people talk about all the legal benefits married folks get?
 
2013-07-26 02:24:19 AM  
Just wait, after a few years homophobes are going to go from being the assholes who wouldn't let gays get married to assholes who let gays get married.
 
2013-07-26 06:12:45 AM  

ThatDarkFellow: Just wait, after a few years homophobes are going to go from being the assholes who wouldn't let gays get married to assholes who let gays get married.


No.  The next step is to outlaw gay divorce.  For the sanctity of marriage...or the children...or...something.  Anything to make life more difficult for "those people"
 
2013-07-26 06:19:40 AM  

Ninja Otter: Surool: Being married does not make you love your SO more, it won't stop either of you from cheating if you really want to, and when you break up, you have a huge delay while the government gets involved.

It does add some handy legal rights (hospital visitation, inheritance, etc.)

On the other hand, supposedly 30-60% of married people have cheated at some point in their relationships (by a definition that probably doesn't count Anthony Weiner). sometimes this comes out, other times not. So a goodly fraction of marriages mean one of the participants is keeping a painful secret for a lifetime (to avoid the same fate as the Weiners), even if the couple decides to stay together.


Don't more than 50% of marriages end in divorce, so unless there is a significant lack of overlap in the two groups, it seems like it comes out eventually in the end anyway.
 
2013-07-26 06:37:47 AM  

neversubmit: It Gets Way Worse

When it comes to marriage, you may think it gets better, but in actuality, it gets way, way, way, way, way worse.

We both want to get a divorce, neither of us want the kid full time. I don't know how she gave birth to such an asshole.


This one hits so many notes it's a farking symphony.
 
2013-07-26 07:27:19 AM  

miss diminutive: But experts warned gay couples that just because they can suddenly get married, doesn't mean they should - at least not right away.

Wow, it's amazing that people never rushed into marriage before!


I *DO* think it makes sense that some people with a more activist streak in them might want to get married partly out of a desire to make a statement though and that COULD be a big mistake. I don't necessarily find any malice in telling people to cool their jets a tad. Just like any marriage, it would be sad for them to fall apart simply because they rushed into it on a wave of "we won!" emotion rather than a deep commitment to each other.

Good advice for everyone, of course, but there is a difference here in that a barrier has been suddenly removed.
 
2013-07-26 07:28:07 AM  

xria: Ninja Otter: Surool: Being married does not make you love your SO more, it won't stop either of you from cheating if you really want to, and when you break up, you have a huge delay while the government gets involved.

It does add some handy legal rights (hospital visitation, inheritance, etc.)

On the other hand, supposedly 30-60% of married people have cheated at some point in their relationships (by a definition that probably doesn't count Anthony Weiner). sometimes this comes out, other times not. So a goodly fraction of marriages mean one of the participants is keeping a painful secret for a lifetime (to avoid the same fate as the Weiners), even if the couple decides to stay together.

Don't more than 50% of marriages end in divorce, so unless there is a significant lack of overlap in the two groups, it seems like it comes out eventually in the end anyway.


What's even worse is that the other 50% end in death. It's lose-lose.
 
2013-07-26 07:37:24 AM  

xria: Ninja Otter: Surool: Being married does not make you love your SO more, it won't stop either of you from cheating if you really want to, and when you break up, you have a huge delay while the government gets involved.

It does add some handy legal rights (hospital visitation, inheritance, etc.)

On the other hand, supposedly 30-60% of married people have cheated at some point in their relationships (by a definition that probably doesn't count Anthony Weiner). sometimes this comes out, other times not. So a goodly fraction of marriages mean one of the participants is keeping a painful secret for a lifetime (to avoid the same fate as the Weiners), even if the couple decides to stay together.

Don't more than 50% of marriages end in divorce, so unless there is a significant lack of overlap in the two groups, it seems like it comes out eventually in the end anyway.


There is overlap, but people usually don't divorce over a brief affair where the cheater really wants to continue the marriage afterwards. It is hard to get statistics on this sort of thing, people are unsurprisingly not very open about their own or their partner's affairs, especially brief ones, but it matches the ones I know about.
 
2013-07-26 08:07:01 AM  

Mike Chewbacca: Lando Lincoln: Mike Chewbacca: Is this the thread where bitter farkers complain about choosing poor life partners and how doing so backfired on them?

No, this is the thread where you explain how a sheet of paper made your love all that more meaningful.

Hmm. Are you sure it's not the thread where people talk about all the legal benefits married folks get?


Yes. We should get rid of those.
 
2013-07-26 08:16:47 AM  

Lando Lincoln: Mike Chewbacca: Lando Lincoln: Mike Chewbacca: Is this the thread where bitter farkers complain about choosing poor life partners and how doing so backfired on them?

No, this is the thread where you explain how a sheet of paper made your love all that more meaningful.

Hmm. Are you sure it's not the thread where people talk about all the legal benefits married folks get?

Yes. We should get rid of those.


Which ones and why?
 
2013-07-26 08:20:26 AM  

Smeggy Smurf: Rushing getting gay married is OK in Skyrim.  Done it twice so far.  Now I'm regular married but I'm a cat and she's a broad.  Weird.  Still beats ponies


But in real life divorce is a lot more complicated than just fus roh dahing your spouse off a cliff. Plus YOU are sworn to carry their burden in real life.
 
2013-07-26 08:27:40 AM  

AngryDragon: Prenup.  Always.

Learned painfully after being taken for 6-figures, custody, AND spousal support by a drug addict ex-wife.  Then again, does a F-F or M-M divorce negate the gender bias?


MRAs are always talking about the gender bias inherent in the family courts, so you'd think that they would all be on board with same-sex marriage. Nothing throws a wrench into the complaint "women ALWAYS get the kids and money!" more than a divorce concerning two women or two men.
 
2013-07-26 08:43:31 AM  

Ontos: NuttierThanEver: Why buy the cow when you are getting the sodomy for free?


I don't see rum and the lash in that graph.
 
2013-07-26 08:46:21 AM  

Notabunny: There's no trick to it. Take your time making a wise choice, and then spend the rest of your life working to make your marriage happy. TA-DA! Also, kids. Have them. They make you a better person than you thought you could be.


Because people with kids never get divorced, causing psychological damage to the kids.
 
2013-07-26 11:19:05 AM  
at least when 2 guys get gay married and they get into an argument, they could punch each other in the face. So there's that.
 
2013-07-26 11:54:24 AM  

Lando Lincoln: Mike Chewbacca: Lando Lincoln: Mike Chewbacca: Is this the thread where bitter farkers complain about choosing poor life partners and how doing so backfired on them?

No, this is the thread where you explain how a sheet of paper made your love all that more meaningful.

Hmm. Are you sure it's not the thread where people talk about all the legal benefits married folks get?

Yes. We should get rid of those.


Really? Benefits like being able to make medical decisions for your comatose spouse? Or being able to take possession of your deceased spouse so they can be buried? Benefits like being to be added to your spouse's employer-provided health insurance (without getting extra taxed on it as additional income)? Really?
 
2013-07-26 12:14:03 PM  

FeFiFoFark: at least when 2 guys get gay married and they get into an argument, they could punch each other in the face. So there's that.


The makeup sex must be incredible.
 
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