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(Slate)   My husband wants to make mushroom pasta sauce from my breast milk. How can I convince him this is disgusting. Eww, mushrooms   (slate.com) divider line 124
    More: Amusing, romantic relationship, Emily Yoffe, stay-at-home dad, COO Sheryl Sandberg  
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6325 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Jul 2013 at 1:02 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



124 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-07-25 12:58:41 PM
Dear Prudence is the latest instagreen trend on Fark nowadays?
 
2013-07-25 01:03:34 PM
[facepalm]

That's it, shut down the internet. We've reached absolute zero.
 
2013-07-25 01:03:41 PM
Weird that we think of human milk as disgusting but won't bat an eye at using milk from a cow or goat.
 
2013-07-25 01:04:20 PM
Need pictures to determine if it is disgusting or not.
 
2013-07-25 01:05:29 PM
"Your husband sounds insane "
 
2013-07-25 01:05:54 PM
cdn.stripersonline.comimages.radcity.netmedia6.onsugar.com
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2013-07-25 01:06:01 PM
Talk about a real baby.
 
2013-07-25 01:06:19 PM
Breast milk tastes like the really sugary milk you end up with at the bottom of a bowl of cereal.
 
2013-07-25 01:06:34 PM
And for gods sake don't order the caviar...
 
2013-07-25 01:06:43 PM
I thought this would be another green from TFD.
 
2013-07-25 01:07:22 PM

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You are a genius.
 
2013-07-25 01:07:25 PM
Fark that. Extra breast milk should be donated to save humans. Find a milk bank and give.
 
2013-07-25 01:07:36 PM

DanZero: Dear Prudence is the latest instagreen trend on Fark nowadays?


Eh, she does three columns a week and we get like three a month green.
 
2013-07-25 01:07:39 PM

xalres: Weird that we think of human milk as disgusting but won't bat an eye at using milk from a cow or goat.


Great point but I definitely feel it's gross. Also, cow milk is post- processed. I'm sure it would be disgusting right out of the utter.

I has a co-worker who pumped at work (no problem with that or public breast feeding) and would store it in the LAB freezer marked "No Food Storage." We dealt with deadly chemicals and infected tissues in that lab. From that day, I've been repulsed by human booby milk.
 
2013-07-25 01:08:24 PM
I know someone who made yogurt from hers and then posted on FB about it.
 
2013-07-25 01:08:44 PM
Dear Prudence,

My girlfriend wants to make cheese with my smegma. She told me not to wash "down there" for a week and then she wants to add the funk to her goat cheese recipe. Should this freak me out? Should I warn my parents when she serves it at a party?
 
2013-07-25 01:08:50 PM
Husband is a freak IMHO. Which is fine but this woman just found how freaky he is after procreation. Oops!

/but of course it's probably fake
 
2013-07-25 01:09:00 PM
It's just protein, does it matter where it originates?
Some people prefer animal proteins, some favor sources closer to home. My man-milk lattes are a massive hit at church events.
 
2013-07-25 01:09:04 PM
At least he's not asking to drink it straight from the tap.

And I second the sentiment about it being weird that people are grossed out by human milk but drink cow's milk no prob. Would it be better if it were pasteurized???
 
2013-07-25 01:09:09 PM

xalres: Weird that we think of human milk as disgusting but won't bat an eye at using milk from a cow or goat.


That's precisely WHY we consider it gross.  We are used to thinking of milk, like meat as an animal product.  So to consume some produced by a human trips our "cannibal" taboo, and also mentally reduces humans to animals, something we're not real keen on doing generally
 
2013-07-25 01:09:56 PM

darth_badger: Dear Prudence,

My girlfriend wants to make cheese with my smegma. She told me not to wash "down there" for a week and then she wants to add the funk to her goat cheese recipe. Should this freak me out? Should I warn my parents when she serves it at a party?


Hahaha...Smegma


/Smegma
/Smegma
 
2013-07-25 01:10:08 PM
I hope the real thing tastes better then formula, that stuff is grody.
 
2013-07-25 01:11:40 PM
Fake or not, the idea of that is so farking disgusting, I'm about to vomit my salad all over my keyboard.
 
2013-07-25 01:12:04 PM
I don't think human breast milk has the correct fat ratio to make a good mushroom cream sauce.
 
2013-07-25 01:13:12 PM

Magorn: xalres: Weird that we think of human milk as disgusting but won't bat an eye at using milk from a cow or goat.

That's precisely WHY we consider it gross.  We are used to thinking of milk, like meat as an animal product.  So to consume some produced by a human trips our "cannibal" taboo, and also mentally reduces humans to animals, something we're not real keen on doing generally


I would assume that it's also a built-in survival mechanism. If people went around drinking all the breast milk babies would starve. Starving babies is bad for the species.
 
2013-07-25 01:13:13 PM

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SNAKE!....SNAKE!....oh it's a snake!

Oh wait, that's not a snake.
 
2013-07-25 01:14:12 PM
Why pay for the milk when the cow is free?

Personally I wouldn't waste perfectly good lactate material on a cooked pasta dish, it would be strictly reserved for coffee and boob gelatos.

This actually doesn't freak me out very much.  Probably because I was bottlefed and have been wandering the earth since, cursed, looking to suckle.  I should have followed the advice from What Color Is Your Parachute? and been a professional Nursemaid Tester.
 
2013-07-25 01:14:30 PM

DanZero: Dear Prudence is the latest instagreen trend on Fark nowadays?


Fun fact:  Prudence is one of Drew's many aliases.

/there really is no other explanation
 
2013-07-25 01:14:33 PM

waterrockets: Fark that. Extra breast milk should be donated to save humans. Find a milk bank and give.


I was going to donate my extra milk but the bank here is pretty selective... Not that they shouldn't be, but I seriously couldn't remember which week it was I had a cold and which days I took some OTC medicine. And which days I might have had a beer or two (yes I use the alcohol test strips when in doubt but that would be like after my company Christmas party after I had 5 drinks in a 6 hour period and then pumped and dumped... not because of ONE beer). I ended up not donating because it was too hard to stick to their rules.
 
2013-07-25 01:14:48 PM
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-07-25 01:15:27 PM
Dear Prudence,

My second cousin wants to make moonshine from undie leavings. The problem is I don't wear unmentionables.  What do I do?
 
2013-07-25 01:15:38 PM

Jument: Magorn: xalres: Weird that we think of human milk as disgusting but won't bat an eye at using milk from a cow or goat.

That's precisely WHY we consider it gross.  We are used to thinking of milk, like meat as an animal product.  So to consume some produced by a human trips our "cannibal" taboo, and also mentally reduces humans to animals, something we're not real keen on doing generally

I would assume that it's also a built-in survival mechanism. If people went around drinking all the breast milk babies would starve. Starving babies is bad for the species.


There are other evolutionary tactics we could employ, maybe we'd drink the hell out of some tit-milk, then like birds we could vomit into our babies mouths?
 
2013-07-25 01:15:47 PM
I'm not sure the flavors would work together. When my wife gave birth, I tasted some breastmilk (direct from the source even!), and it was really close to tasting like sugary cantaloupe juice. It had a peculiar back-of-the-throat wang to it (no pun intended). I think the sweetness would wreck the earthy mushroom flavor and overpower the mushroom umami...but hey I'm no longer a professional chef, I just play one at home.
 
2013-07-25 01:16:09 PM
static.lulu.com

Problem solved.
 
2013-07-25 01:16:44 PM

Ashlea: At least he's not asking to drink it straight from the tap.


Nothing wrong with a little cleanup after the baby is finished.
 
2013-07-25 01:16:54 PM

Ashlea: waterrockets: Fark that. Extra breast milk should be donated to save humans. Find a milk bank and give.

I was going to donate my extra milk but the bank here is pretty selective... Not that they shouldn't be, but I seriously couldn't remember which week it was I had a cold and which days I took some OTC medicine. And which days I might have had a beer or two (yes I use the alcohol test strips when in doubt but that would be like after my company Christmas party after I had 5 drinks in a 6 hour period and then pumped and dumped... not because of ONE beer). I ended up not donating because it was too hard to stick to their rules.


Sounds like a pet rescue operation.
 
2013-07-25 01:17:58 PM

YoOjo: Jument: Magorn: xalres: Weird that we think of human milk as disgusting but won't bat an eye at using milk from a cow or goat.

That's precisely WHY we consider it gross.  We are used to thinking of milk, like meat as an animal product.  So to consume some produced by a human trips our "cannibal" taboo, and also mentally reduces humans to animals, something we're not real keen on doing generally

I would assume that it's also a built-in survival mechanism. If people went around drinking all the breast milk babies would starve. Starving babies is bad for the species.

There are other evolutionary tactics we could employ, maybe we'd drink the hell out of some tit-milk, then like birds we could vomit into our babies mouths?


That's a pleasant mental image right there.
 
2013-07-25 01:19:37 PM
www.earlytorise.com
 
2013-07-25 01:19:59 PM
If they have milk to spare why not let him cook up the mushroom goop? It doesn't mean she has to eat it.
 
2013-07-25 01:20:53 PM
You can buy breast milk on craigs list... The guy should get some that way, make it, serve it to his wife, then say, "you know, this would have tasted better with your breast milk that boobmilk2008's, but don't worry, she looked clean"
 
2013-07-25 01:21:17 PM

YoOjo: There are other evolutionary tactics we could employ, maybe we'd drink the hell out of some tit-milk, then like birds we could vomit into our babies mouths?


3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-07-25 01:22:51 PM

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: Breast milk tastes like the really sugary milk you end up with at the bottom of a bowl of cereal.


Delicious, then.

We shouldn't be surprised that this crap writer looked up one American source to validate her feelings on the subject, when some studies have found that drinking breast milk may help in the fight against cancer. Ask the Chinese if it's okay; they'll tell you it's the best thing since sliced bread.

Listen to science; not opinions, assholes, or flawed etiquette going back centuries.
 
2013-07-25 01:23:19 PM
Breast milk is for those who can not ask for it by name.
 
2013-07-25 01:27:33 PM
Short answer: Guy has a fetish and is hiding it.

Long answer: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Next thing you'll he'll suggest eating the placenta.
 
2013-07-25 01:29:18 PM

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This is one of the greatest posts on the internet for all time.
 
2013-07-25 01:29:58 PM

Magorn: xalres: Weird that we think of human milk as disgusting but won't bat an eye at using milk from a cow or goat.

That's precisely WHY we consider it gross.  We are used to thinking of milk, like meat as an animal product.  So to consume some produced by a human trips our "cannibal" taboo, and also mentally reduces humans to animals, something we're not real keen on doing generally


Well that and commercial cow milk is pasteurized. And consuming human breast milk means you are consuming whatever that person did, including prescription drugs, communicable diseases (non-pasturized). The diet of commercial cows, while not perfect is highly controlled and predictable.

I really don't think it's weird in the slightest for me to prefer a dairy product produced under USDA regulations rather than something squirted into my neighbor's wife's breast pump, which she never washes between uses.
 
2013-07-25 01:31:02 PM

Ashlea: At least he's not asking to drink it straight from the tap.

And I second the sentiment about it being weird that people are grossed out by human milk but drink cow's milk no prob. Would it be better if it were pasteurized???


At least adults can be instructed not to use teeth.
 
2013-07-25 01:33:54 PM
You should trap  his scrotum in a slatted chair and post pics

JC
 
2013-07-25 01:34:21 PM
Cooking would be a waste.  The only way to have human milk (breast milk is redundant) is raw and on tap.
 
2013-07-25 01:35:36 PM
Dear Prudence,

My girlfriend will not poop and urinate in a bucket for me to help me make jenkem. She huffs my jenkem all the time when I brew a batch but will not contribute to the next batch.  What should I doo doo?


Signed,
Butt Hash Boyfriend
 
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