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(Go Erie)   If getting out of jury duty is so easy, why the f*ck did it cost me $500?   (goerie.com ) divider line
    More: Dumbass, jury pool, jury duty  
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8585 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Jul 2013 at 12:27 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



78 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2013-07-25 12:29:18 PM  
Coont?
 
2013-07-25 12:29:59 PM  
it's easy to get out of a child molestation case i just said "i'm gonna vote guilty regardless"
and they let me go

then i got a weiner from CHECKERS
yay CHECKERS!!
 
2013-07-25 12:30:56 PM  
I didn't get a 'Harrumph' out of that woman!
 
2013-07-25 12:31:54 PM  
I thought you just had to mention jury nullification.
 
2013-07-25 12:32:32 PM  

DirtyDeadGhostofEbenezerCooke: I didn't get a 'Harrumph' out of that woman!


You should have stuck it in her ass.

/guarantee you'd get a 'Harrumph'
 
2013-07-25 12:34:54 PM  

Jon iz teh kewl: it's easy to get out of a child molestation case i just said "i'm gonna vote guilty regardless"
and they let me go


My dad recently tried something similar when he was called in for jury duty and one of the attorneys asked him if he trusted cops.

"Hate em!  Liars, every damned one!" is what he responded with.

/still got picked.
 
2013-07-25 12:36:05 PM  

An Erie woman, dismayed that she had been picked to serve as a juror in a weapons case, audibly harrumphed the worst curse word of them all


And here I was thinking that 'harrumph' actually meant making a harrumph sound. Apparently it is a synonym for 'say'.

:-|
 
2013-07-25 12:36:23 PM  
Do what I do. When they send you a letter telling you you have to claim why you shouldn't be picked fo jury duty. Tell them
1) You spend a lot of time on fark, farking off, and tossing opinions about on every subject that pops up and love to gossip about early news items, just like the one the jury is likely to be on.
and
2) You don't want to lose pay for jury duty so if you have to serve, you will render whatever verdict will get you back to work first.
Let them know up front you are not being contemptuous, you just need to make your rent, and cannot afford to be homeless, and then find yourself peeing on the judges car and then in court to sit in front of a jury of people who just want to get back to work, too.
I never hear back from them.
 
2013-07-25 12:36:40 PM  
I worked with a girl who was chose as the assistant foreman for a case.  The circumstances were very strange though.  She would be out every Tuesday for about 4 months, not sure what sort of "case" this was.  She then resigned shortly thereafter and married a player for the Eagles.

/csb
 
2013-07-25 12:36:41 PM  
Seriously, getting removed from the jury selection is easy as hell.  Just mention "Oh yeah, this crap.  Heard about it from a friend, guy's totally guilty/not guilty" somewhere where the defense or prosecution can hear you.  They'll move to remove you in a heartbeat, one for a tainted juror and two for showing you've made up your mind before even hearing evidence.

If that fails, like said elsewhere, mention jury nullification.
 
2013-07-25 12:37:46 PM  
You'd think a judge would have more respect for our constitutional right to freedom of expression.
 
2013-07-25 12:38:54 PM  
Losing income may not be a "hardship" but that doesnt make it suck any less.
 
2013-07-25 12:41:16 PM  
img.photobucket.com
"Harrumph!"
 
2013-07-25 12:42:14 PM  
I would love to be called for jury duty. I'm 38 and have never been called or summoned
 
2013-07-25 12:44:39 PM  
People who get out of jury duty even when they could serve are essentially freeloaders on society. I am sure these "geniuses" with advice on how to get out of jury duty would expect a jury be seated if THEY were charged with a serious crime or if they we a victim of one.

Quit your whiny-ass biatching and fulfill you civic duty.

/except in cases of actual hardship
 
2013-07-25 12:45:26 PM  
As someone who recently had to report for jury duty and didn't get picked I'm getting a kick
 
2013-07-25 12:46:05 PM  
People who whine about jury duty piss me off. The system is only as good as the people in it. That means you. If you get asked to participate, do your bit. If you don't, please refrain from every whining about the state of this country ever again for the rest of your life.

Disclaimer: I am on a green card which means I never have to do jury duty in either my home country or the US, so maybe I shouldn't be throwing stones.
 
2013-07-25 12:46:49 PM  

vudukungfu: You don't want to lose pay for jury duty so if you have to serve, you will render whatever verdict will get you back to work first.


If you say this to a judge and you are nearly guaranteed to find yourself on the wrong end of contempt of court.

They have seen and heard every excuse in the book. If they decide yours is bogus they will make an example of you.
 
2013-07-25 12:46:52 PM  
An Erie woman, dismayed that she had been picked to serve as a juror in a weapons case, audibly harrumphed the worst curse word of them all

The nerve of her, going straight for the worst. No one idly breaks out the 'bumblescoot' and expects there will be no repercussions!  And adding a harrumph on top of it?  I'm surprised the very air did not curdle.
 
2013-07-25 12:47:24 PM  
I just served on a jury for a few days. Great experience. I wanted to get picked and was happy to serve, personally. I consider our justice system to be pretty awesome and it does rely on jurors.
 
2013-07-25 12:47:56 PM  

Jument: People who whine about jury duty piss me off. The system is only as good as the people in it. That means you. If you get asked to participate, do your bit. If you don't, please refrain from every whining about the state of this country ever again for the rest of your life.

Disclaimer: I am on a green card which means I never have to do jury duty in either my home country or the US, so maybe I shouldn't be throwing stones.


I am a natural born citizen and you hit it on the head.
 
2013-07-25 12:48:31 PM  

smoky2010: I would love to be called for jury duty. I'm 38 and have never been called or summoned


Do you vote?  I'm pretty sure that's how you end up on the list.  Someone please correct me if I'm wrong.  Also, it may work differently in different places.

I was summoned a few times, mostly when I was in college.  I was able to get out of it by just saying I was a student in a different town.  Once I did get called and couldn't get out of showing up.  I ended up sitting in a room with a bunch of random people for almost the entire day. Then towards the end of the day we all filed into the court room and they started doing jury selection.

It was a long and boring process. So much so, that we had to break for the day and come back the next morning to finish selection.  The next day we show up, wait around for a couple hours, then we get called back into the court room and the judge tells us that a settlement was reached (it was a lawsuit case) and we were all excused.

/Boring story, bro!
 
2013-07-25 12:49:24 PM  

SpectroBoy: If you say this to a judge and you are nearly guaranteed to find yourself on the wrong end of contempt of court.

They have seen and heard every excuse in the book. If they decide yours is bogus they will make an example of you.


I put it in writing.
 
2013-07-25 12:49:53 PM  
denigrates the jury system?
service is a duty of citizenship?

Fark you
juries are picked by the lawyers who think they would best serve their side
they are given a pittance
if you don't do it, by law you are punished

sounds a LOT like forced servitude

I'll never serve, and that's just farking fine with me
I just bring a book and wait for them to see my paperwork.
then I take my dog to the park
 
2013-07-25 12:49:55 PM  
I was chosen for a jury in a personal injury case.  I had another local attorney on one of my juries in a burglary case.  Even those of us who know the system sometimes end up serving.  I also learned a lot from being in the box.  It changed the way I do some things at trial.
 
2013-07-25 12:54:05 PM  

Jument: If you get asked to participate, do your bit.


inigo_montoya.jpg
 
2013-07-25 12:54:40 PM  
I have served on three trials (once as a alternate).  I found it very interesting and consider it my duty to be there.   (Plus the court house is 2 minutes from home and I get a long lunch).
 
2013-07-25 12:54:48 PM  
Belgium?
 
2013-07-25 12:55:05 PM  

Honest Bender: Do you vote? I'm pretty sure that's how you end up on the list. Someone please correct me if I'm wrong. Also, it may work differently in different places.


My state also uses DLs and tax returns.
 
2013-07-25 12:56:35 PM  

Jument: People who whine about jury duty piss me off. The system is only as good as the people in it. That means you. If you get asked to participate, do your bit. If you don't, please refrain from every whining about the state of this country ever again for the rest of your life.

Disclaimer: I am on a green card which means I never have to do jury duty in either my home country or the US, so maybe I shouldn't be throwing stones.


I ain't gonna let fer'ner tell ME how ta be a good American!
 
2013-07-25 12:57:52 PM  

sboyle1020: She would be out every Tuesday for about 4 months, not sure what sort of "case" this was.


Sounds like a grand jury.  They usually meet on specific days instead of contacting the court every evening about whether to report the next day or not.
 
2013-07-25 12:58:33 PM  

smoky2010: I would love to be called for jury duty. I'm 38 and have never been called or summoned


I served once around 2000/2001, and last week I got a letter saying that I have to come in again in October. IMHO it's a good experience to do it once, but I am really hoping I won't get picked this time.
 
2013-07-25 12:59:22 PM  
CSB Best jury story I ever heard of involved a Columbus Ohio judge who before attorneys could start questioning prospective jurors supposedly told them he was dismissing one of the jurors and Stated Juror Number X is being dismissed, she is my wife and has been for twenty years. She has never listened to a single instruction I have given her in all that time and I have no reason to believe that she would do so here. Do either of you have any objections?" Supposedly it was two sharp attorneys who said no objections.
 
2013-07-25 12:59:32 PM  

Honest Bender: smoky2010: I would love to be called for jury duty. I'm 38 and have never been called or summoned

Do you vote?  I'm pretty sure that's how you end up on the list.  Someone please correct me if I'm wrong.  Also, it may work differently in different places.

I was summoned a few times, mostly when I was in college.  I was able to get out of it by just saying I was a student in a different town.  Once I did get called and couldn't get out of showing up.  I ended up sitting in a room with a bunch of random people for almost the entire day. Then towards the end of the day we all filed into the court room and they started doing jury selection.

It was a long and boring process. So much so, that we had to break for the day and come back the next morning to finish selection.  The next day we show up, wait around for a couple hours, then we get called back into the court room and the judge tells us that a settlement was reached (it was a lawsuit case) and we were all excused.

/Boring story, bro!


I have been voting since I was 18. The closest I have come to getting jury duty I'd when my wife got called for federal court jury duty.
 
2013-07-25 12:59:43 PM  

sboyle1020: I worked with a girl who was chose as the assistant foreman for a case.  The circumstances were very strange though.  She would be out every Tuesday for about 4 months, not sure what sort of "case" this was.  She then resigned shortly thereafter and married a player for the Eagles.

/csb


That's a grand jury.  They meet every so often (sounds like you're not in a small town, but a rather large one).  The prosecutor presents "evidence" and the grand jury states whether there is enough to indict the person.

There are also grand juries that are hired to investigate specific things, like corruption in a part of the city.

She didn't resign.  The usual term is 4 months.
 
2013-07-25 01:00:08 PM  

12349876: sboyle1020: She would be out every Tuesday for about 4 months, not sure what sort of "case" this was.

Sounds like a grand jury.  They usually meet on specific days instead of contacting the court every evening about whether to report the next day or not.


Who says Fark is a waste of time?  I just learned me something new today!

/Off to the pub!
 
2013-07-25 01:01:51 PM  
people hate cops cause the all seeing eye sees what you do.  and cops are required to keep up the illusion that we aren't one
 
2013-07-25 01:03:06 PM  
To those who are griping about it:

Been called once myself, showed up, found out the guy had basically jerked the system around.  He'd been offered a plea bargain, turned it down until 11th hour, then accepted, and for some godawful reason the prosecution decided to accept this instead of just saying fark him and throwing the book at his ass in response.
 
2013-07-25 01:03:15 PM  

sdd2000: CSB Best jury story I ever heard of involved a Columbus Ohio judge who before attorneys could start questioning prospective jurors supposedly told them he was dismissing one of the jurors and Stated Juror Number X is being dismissed, she is my wife and has been for twenty years. She has never listened to a single instruction I have given her in all that time and I have no reason to believe that she would do so here. Do either of you have any objections?" Supposedly it was two sharp attorneys who said no objections.


I wonder what he would have done if she had harrumphed.

No I don't. Nothing.
 
PJ-
2013-07-25 01:04:20 PM  
My dad said his trick for getting out of jury duty was fool proof.  All you need to say at one point is 'I believe in a fair trail for everybody..... except if they are black'.

Gee thanks Dad!
 
2013-07-25 01:04:24 PM  

xellas84: To those who are griping about it:

Been called once myself, showed up, found out the guy had basically jerked the system around.  He'd been offered a plea bargain, turned it down until 11th hour, then accepted, and for some godawful reason the prosecution decided to accept this instead of just saying fark him and throwing the book at his ass in response.


So you think people who jerk others around with plea bargains deserve severe punishment, eh?
 
2013-07-25 01:05:02 PM  
I've been called for JD twice and it was cancelled before I even got to show up in court. Very disappointing - I'm personally eager to serve, at least once, just for a new experience and all that.

Last time was in June, so I guess I've got a little bit before I'm eligible again.
 
2013-07-25 01:06:26 PM  

PJ-: My dad said his trick for getting out of jury duty was fool proof.  All you need to say at one point is 'I believe in a fair trail for everybody..... except if they are black'.

Gee thanks Dad!


that's cause there are no real blacks.  everyone has a bit of white in them.
 
2013-07-25 01:07:57 PM  

jigger: xellas84: To those who are griping about it:

Been called once myself, showed up, found out the guy had basically jerked the system around.  He'd been offered a plea bargain, turned it down until 11th hour, then accepted, and for some godawful reason the prosecution decided to accept this instead of just saying fark him and throwing the book at his ass in response.

So you think people who jerk others around with plea bargains deserve severe punishment, eh?


Considering he'd been offered the plea bargain 2 weeks earlier, turned it down, then accepted it at the 11th hour the night before the jury starting having to show up, yes.  Once you are offered it and say "no thanks take it to jury" and it goes so far the state has to start pulling people for jury, you have now annoyed FAR more people than you should have.  Once jury selection begins, plea bargains should be off the damn table.
 
2013-07-25 01:10:04 PM  
I had a buddy that said he got out of it because he lied and told them he was hard of hearing.  That would be hard for them to disprove.
 
2013-07-25 01:11:32 PM  
Being a Judge sounds awesome!!!!

I wish I could held people in contempt of tech support and charge them 500$ for every lie or every time they blame their stupid shiat on me.
 
2013-07-25 01:14:43 PM  

JKDGreg: Being a Judge sounds awesome!!!!

I wish I could held people in contempt of tech support and charge them 500$ for every lie or every time they blame their stupid shiat on me.


If I could charge a dollar foot that is be pretty wealthy
 
2013-07-25 01:15:23 PM  

smoky2010: JKDGreg: Being a Judge sounds awesome!!!!

I wish I could held people in contempt of tech support and charge them 500$ for every lie or every time they blame their stupid shiat on me.

If I could charge a dollar foot that is be pretty wealthy


For that...stupid phone
 
2013-07-25 01:17:03 PM  

xellas84: jigger: xellas84: To those who are griping about it:

Been called once myself, showed up, found out the guy had basically jerked the system around.  He'd been offered a plea bargain, turned it down until 11th hour, then accepted, and for some godawful reason the prosecution decided to accept this instead of just saying fark him and throwing the book at his ass in response.

So you think people who jerk others around with plea bargains deserve severe punishment, eh?

Considering he'd been offered the plea bargain 2 weeks earlier, turned it down, then accepted it at the 11th hour the night before the jury starting having to show up, yes.  Once you are offered it and say "no thanks take it to jury" and it goes so far the state has to start pulling people for jury, you have now annoyed FAR more people than you should have.  Once jury selection begins, plea bargains should be off the damn table.


Oh, the defendant annoyed people? He's the one who forced those jurors to be there?

Look, prosecutors jerk people around with plea bargains all the time. It's what they do. They'll also charge people with stupid shiat, dick them around with procedures, wait until the defendant clears their schedules, travels to the courthouse (doesn't matter if they were out of state), is ready to begin everything, and then they drop the charges.
 
2013-07-25 01:18:55 PM  
I've been summoned 5 or 6 times.  I always went for the selection process, never gave it a second thought, but I was only picked once, and then when we show up for the start, the judge was out ill (apparently seriously ill), everything was canceled, go home, don't come back.  They said due to the delay expected, they would just choose a whole new jury when the time came.

I was kinda sad, I've always wanted to be on a jury.  Always a bridesmaid, never a bride.
 
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