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(Fox 31 Denver)   So a bear walks into a bar... (w/ video)   (kdvr.com) divider line 39
    More: Scary, Estes Park, black bears, Black bear walks, Rocky Mountain National Park, Comfort Inn  
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5621 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Jul 2013 at 4:11 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



39 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-07-25 03:25:03 AM  
My sister lives in Steamboat Springs and they get bears in the backyard a lot. At like 3 in the morning.
 
2013-07-25 04:13:57 AM  
I know some people who like to have bears in their bedrooms.

NTTAWWT.
 
2013-07-25 04:14:19 AM  
fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net
 
2013-07-25 04:16:27 AM  
bear necessities
 
2013-07-25 04:25:25 AM  
And the priest said to the rabbi, "my god I had no idea that's what they meant by right to bear arms!"
 
2013-07-25 04:47:04 AM  
images2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-07-25 04:50:23 AM  
At least seven bears
 
2013-07-25 04:52:47 AM  
Uh, ...that's not "Surveillance video"
 
2013-07-25 04:54:49 AM  
A baby seal walks into a club......
 
2013-07-25 04:55:28 AM  
I always wondered what kind of video a bear would watch ... walking into a bar ...
 
2013-07-25 04:57:01 AM  
This bear walks into a bar. Then he sits down and orders a beer.
The bartender, amazed that this bear can actually talk, gives him a beer.
The bear says, "What do I owe you?"
The bartender stops and thinks for a moment.
"Even though this bear is smart," thinks the bartender, "he probably hasn't been in many bars."
So the bartender says, "That'll be ten dollars."
The bear forks over the money and starts drinking his beer.
After a few minutes, the bartender can't restrain his curiosity, so he walks back over to the bear and tries to strike up a conversation.
"You know, we don't get many bears in this bar."
The bear looks up from his beer and says, "Well, at ten bucks a beer, I'm not surprised."

From jokes.net
 
2013-07-25 05:02:23 AM  

LewDux: At least seven bears


farm3.static.flickr.com
 
2013-07-25 05:13:13 AM  
go home bear, you're drunk
 
2013-07-25 05:13:41 AM  
i work on lookout mtn.  Also have had a couple of moments with bears... slamming pans together really puts some hustle in their step.
 
2013-07-25 05:22:40 AM  
 
2013-07-25 05:33:53 AM  
So a bear walks into a bar.
and the bartender asks...
s22.postimg.org

Why the long tongue?
 
2013-07-25 05:55:33 AM  

Day_Old_Dutchie: So a bear walks into a bar.
and the bartender asks...


Why the long tongue?


What's wrong with it's eyes?
 
2013-07-25 06:11:41 AM  

mike_d85: Day_Old_Dutchie: So a bear walks into a bar.
and the bartender asks...


Why the long tongue?

What's wrong with it's eyes?


Bad honey.
 
2013-07-25 06:27:18 AM  
A bear walks into a bar and says 'I'll have a ....................................beer.'

The bartender says 'Why the big paws?'
 
2013-07-25 06:36:52 AM  
If that bear were a blah man, he would have been shot.
 
2013-07-25 06:42:02 AM  

stu1-1: Uh, ...that's not "Surveillance video"


The bear was on surveillance video. The person who recorded the shaky video was aiming his/her phone at the monitor re-recording the surveillance video. Some people don't know how to extract a segment of video from a long recording.
 
2013-07-25 07:20:51 AM  
From what I understand that happens in Estes Park a lot.
vueweekly.com
 
2013-07-25 07:25:31 AM  

HindiDiscoMonster: "there were no injuries"

as if just because he was a bear he was gonna shoot someone... damn racists.

/give the bear a beer


Well actualy....

A panda walks into a café. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and proceeds to fire it at the other patrons.
"Why?" asks the confused, surviving waiter amidst the carnage. On his way out, the panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual, and tosses it over his shoulder.
"Well, I'm a panda," he says at the door. "Look it up."
The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation:
"Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves."
 
2013-07-25 07:42:23 AM  
I'm just a barmaid pure and fair
I don't wanna serve drinks to a hairy bear
But he paid her a tip that was more than square
So she brought him a beer and some nuts to share.

From there to here and here to there
A bear a bear and the barmaid fair
 
2013-07-25 07:51:42 AM  

mike_d85: Day_Old_Dutchie: So a bear walks into a bar.
and the bartender asks...


Why the long tongue?

What's wrong with it's eyes?


It's Asian.
 
2013-07-25 08:16:25 AM  

Danger Avoid Death: This bear walks into a bar. Then he sits down and orders a beer.
The bartender, amazed that this bear can actually talk, gives him a beer.
The bear says, "What do I owe you?"
The bartender stops and thinks for a moment.
"Even though this bear is smart," thinks the bartender, "he probably hasn't been in many bars."
So the bartender says, "That'll be ten dollars."
The bear forks over the money and starts drinking his beer.
After a few minutes, the bartender can't restrain his curiosity, so he walks back over to the bear and tries to strike up a conversation.
"You know, we don't get many bears in this bar."
The bear looks up from his beer and says, "Well, at ten bucks a beer, I'm not surprised."

From jokes.net


Dang.
 
2013-07-25 08:30:37 AM  
Poor thing just wanted some honey mead.

We live in the rural, unincorporated part of Deland that butts up against a national
forest and we have bear encounters all the time. I've seen large cat-like tracks on
the dirt road that runs past our house too, but so far have never seen the maker of
those tracks.
 
2013-07-25 08:54:22 AM  

LewDux: At least seven bears


I saw at eight

/bears repeating
 
2013-07-25 08:55:42 AM  
A bear walks into a bar in Boise.
He asks for a beer.
The bartender say, "This is a Boise bar.  Boise bars don't serve bears beer."
The bear angrily repeats his request.
The bartender replies, "Bears can't have beer in a Boise bar."
The bear stands on his hind legs and says,"If you don't give me a beer, I'm going to bite the head off that blonde at the end of the bar."
The Bartender says, "No bear can have a beer in a Boise bar."
So the bear saunters down the bar and chomps the head right off the blonde.  He walks back to the bartender and says, "Gimme a beer!"
The bartender calmly says, "Boise bars don't serve bears beers, especially bears on drugs."
The bear freaks out and says, "Drugs?!? What drugs?  I'm not on drugs!"
The bartender replies, "What about that bar biatch you ate?"
 
2013-07-25 08:59:42 AM  
Is their "surveillance" camera suspended from the ceiling by string ?
 
2013-07-25 09:03:42 AM  

Kevin72: My sister lives in Steamboat Springs and they get bears in the backyard a lot. At like 3 in the morning.


Makes sense.  The bars close at 2.
 
2013-07-25 09:30:55 AM  

stu1-1: A baby seal walks into a club......


That's just awful...but I LOLd.

/Window seat, please
 
2013-07-25 09:41:56 AM  
Aww, it's just a little bear. It's actually pretty cute.
 
2013-07-25 10:21:27 AM  

Lesbian-Jesus: Is their "surveillance" camera suspended from the ceiling by string ?


See:

MarkEC: The person who recorded the shaky video was aiming his/her phone at the monitor re-recording the surveillance video.

 
2013-07-25 11:02:11 AM  

scrumpox: A bear walks into a bar in Boise.
He asks for a beer.
The bartender say, "This is a Boise bar.  Boise bars don't serve bears beer."
The bear angrily repeats his request.
The bartender replies, "Bears can't have beer in a Boise bar."
The bear stands on his hind legs and says,"If you don't give me a beer, I'm going to bite the head off that blonde at the end of the bar."
The Bartender says, "No bear can have a beer in a Boise bar."
So the bear saunters down the bar and chomps the head right off the blonde.  He walks back to the bartender and says, "Gimme a beer!"
The bartender calmly says, "Boise bars don't serve bears beers, especially bears on drugs."
The bear freaks out and says, "Drugs?!? What drugs?  I'm not on drugs!"
The bartender replies, "What about that bar biatch you ate?"


^this.
 
2013-07-25 01:16:55 PM  
blog.thenewstribune.com
 
2013-07-25 01:47:30 PM  
I would have bought him a beer.
 
2013-07-25 03:39:06 PM  

Archae hippy: LewDux: At least seven bears

I saw at eight

/bears repeating


unimpressed:
www.badeagle.com
 
2013-07-25 04:10:40 PM  
FTFA: "A man who works at a nearby Comfort Inn saw the bear and helped get it out of Lonigan's before it got to the front bar area."

Faaaaaaark that. No way Hozay.
 
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