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(Quartz)   Lance Armstrong says his sponsors are dopes for not knowing he was doping   (qz.com) divider line 51
    More: Dumbass, least developed country, Tour de France  
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1635 clicks; posted to Sports » on 24 Jul 2013 at 6:26 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



51 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-07-24 06:50:58 PM  
Lance should just take his ball and go home.
 
2013-07-24 06:52:18 PM  
He may only have one ball but he is a complete dick.
 
2013-07-24 06:54:33 PM  
He sure is one testy guy, isn't he?
 
2013-07-24 06:59:08 PM  
He's right.
 
2013-07-24 07:00:21 PM  
So Lance Armstrong is throwing everyone under the bus, burning bridges, shaiting on the ashes and burying the whole farkin' pile about a hundred feet below hell.
 
2013-07-24 07:01:08 PM  
Yeah he's right.
 
2013-07-24 07:19:27 PM  

the biggest redneck here: He's right.


js34603: Yeah he's right.


These are correct.
 
2013-07-24 07:30:47 PM  
I had just about forgotten about him. Lance, thanks for reminding me of how big a douchebag you are.
 
2013-07-24 07:35:42 PM  
Well, guess what..."I wear spandex and don't care what you say about me guy"....people hate you. Because you are a significancly-sized bag of vaginal excrement.

You gave false hope to a ton of people who were stricken with cancer.

I've got you're new frontier to conquer Mr. Armstrong:

"Cock"

Not just any cock, but the one that gives you saddle sores.

See, Lance...you are a single-testicle piece of shiat who is roaming the US landscape in search of sponsors.

I'll give you a "sponsor" Lance...baggy clothes.

fark you and the carbon-fiber gay train you rode in on.

I'll give you my address if you're feeling sporty, but I think you're going to spend a lot more time addressing the rumors of gigantic black bike seat probing your already stretched-out ass.

FARK YOU LANCE...I hope Ms. Crow f
Farks you in the shatter with a road cone with a yellow jersey taped around it

/plus all of those weekend warrior assholes you inspired....I hope they get a certain type of easy death.
 
2013-07-24 07:53:35 PM  

fatalvenom: Well, guess what..."I wear spandex and don't care what you say about me guy"....people hate you. Because you are a significancly-sized bag of vaginal excrement.

You gave false hope to a ton of people who were stricken with cancer.

I've got you're new frontier to conquer Mr. Armstrong:

"Cock"

Not just any cock, but the one that gives you saddle sores.

See, Lance...you are a single-testicle piece of shiat who is roaming the US landscape in search of sponsors.

I'll give you a "sponsor" Lance...baggy clothes.

fark you and the carbon-fiber gay train you rode in on.

I'll give you my address if you're feeling sporty, but I think you're going to spend a lot more time addressing the rumors of gigantic black bike seat probing your already stretched-out ass.

FARK YOU LANCE...I hope Ms. Crow f
Farks you in the shatter with a road cone with a yellow jersey taped around it

/plus all of those weekend warrior assholes you inspired....I hope they get a certain type of easy death.


"False hope"?  Whats that even mean?... i do believe he actually had cancer.
Are you implying that the fact he was cheating, means that its unlikely that cancer patients will win the Tour de France?     Ummm... that is the case, with or without whatever Lance Armstrong was doing.
 
2013-07-24 08:02:39 PM  
If you're sponsoring a cycling team and don't assume that everyone is doping, you're a dope.
 
2013-07-24 08:14:06 PM  

fatalvenom: Well, guess what..."I wear spandex and don't care what you say about me guy"....people hate you. Because you are a significancly-sized bag of vaginal excrement.

You gave false hope to a ton of people who were stricken with cancer.

I've got you're new frontier to conquer Mr. Armstrong:

"Cock"

Not just any cock, but the one that gives you saddle sores.

See, Lance...you are a single-testicle piece of shiat who is roaming the US landscape in search of sponsors.

I'll give you a "sponsor" Lance...baggy clothes.

fark you and the carbon-fiber gay train you rode in on.

I'll give you my address if you're feeling sporty, but I think you're going to spend a lot more time addressing the rumors of gigantic black bike seat probing your already stretched-out ass.

FARK YOU LANCE...I hope Ms. Crow f
Farks you in the shatter with a road cone with a yellow jersey taped around it

/plus all of those weekend warrior assholes you inspired....I hope they get a certain type of easy death.


That's some pretty disturbing imagery you're putting out there. You're a sick individual and you'd be best served by seeking professional help. It's fine to think he's a rotten person for what he's done, but you've taken your screed about a thousand steps too far.
 
2013-07-24 08:14:49 PM  
Why the hell does the post office need to sponsor anything anyways? I always hear about how much money they lose and I know where to go if i need to mail a bill or a letter.
 
2013-07-24 08:18:03 PM  
Cheating's one thing. It's wrong, you get caught, you get a ban etc.

But Armstrong wasn't just a cheat, but a total piece of shiat about it. I read his book and he was like "how dare people accuse me of taking drugs, after I'd had loads of cancer drugs, you think I want that again". Using your cancer as a cover makes you a total piece of shiat. Ruining other cyclists careers over it makes you a total piece of shiat.

If I knew someone was robbing Armstrong, the courts would have to subpoena me to get me to co-operate. There's no way I'd try to stop them or come forward to report it.
 
2013-07-24 08:22:11 PM  
He's always been a douche, but it was something people were generally willing to overlook due to his Foundation and his racing success.  Now that neither of those is on the table, he's just a has been AW looking to remain relevant, even if only to remind us what a giant douche he was when we had to put up with him, and now we don't.  Go away, Lance.
 
2013-07-24 08:27:37 PM  

fatalvenom: /plus all of those weekend warrior assholes you inspired....I hope they get a certain type of easy death.


You wish death on somebody for riding a bike?  Seek help dude
 
2013-07-24 08:32:26 PM  

relaxitsjustme: fatalvenom: /plus all of those weekend warrior assholes you inspired....I hope they get a certain type of easy death.

You wish death on somebody for riding a bike?  Seek help dude


10/10.
 
2013-07-24 08:47:14 PM  
I have issues with both sides...

hey postal service, you got your money's worth...you wanted to sponsor a team for advertisement purposes...you were hitched to the rockstar in the sport and his record wasnt 'fully' discovered until long after your involvement...your name and reputation was not tarnished...again, you got your money's worth, move along.

Hey lance, you denied your drug use for years...destroying lives along the way to hide it...you would have fought and sued USPS if they dropped their sponsorship...now you want to say, despite all that you did and said in the past, that they 'should have known'? You really are a special kind of asshole.

Give the USPS a nominal amount of money back ($1), and tell both parties to EABOD.
 
2013-07-24 08:47:39 PM  
Lanceness
 
2013-07-24 08:56:05 PM  
Every time he does anything he sinks lower into the mud and scum. Hopefully, soon he'll do that last thing, whatever it is, and go down for the last time.
 
2013-07-24 09:03:01 PM  
I find that hard to believe.  I imagine that they were shocked to hear such a thing.  I say the were just as shocked as MLB was to find out that its top sluggers were using steroids that they weren't being tested for.  Shocked I say!
 
2013-07-24 09:11:17 PM  
A contract is a contract.

If the PO didn't send him one of the checks, Armstrong would have been in court suing them.
 
2013-07-24 09:11:51 PM  
Drugs are always ahead of testing.

Remember this, folks. Braun, A-Rod, Peralta, Cruz, etc... (everyone from Biogenesis) were not caught by a positive test. They were caught because the doctor got busted. Do you know what that means? That means they passed many tests. That also means that many other players are doing the same shiat. There are similar clinics all over the country. Beating a urine test for steroids is really, really easy, especially when you have the money professional athletes have and the reason to do it.
 
2013-07-24 09:12:27 PM  
^ And I mean Braun and A-Rod this time, of course.
 
2013-07-24 09:18:04 PM  

browneye: So Lance Armstrong is throwing everyone under the bus, burning bridges, shaiting on the ashes and burying the whole farkin' pile about a hundred feet below hell.


Well, you know, he brought cycling to America and he can take it right back out again.
 
2013-07-24 09:28:09 PM  

machoprogrammer: Drugs are always ahead of testing.

Remember this, folks. Braun, A-Rod, Peralta, Cruz, etc... (everyone from Biogenesis) were not caught by a positive test. They were caught because the doctor got busted. Do you know what that means? That means they passed many tests. That also means that many other players are doing the same shiat. There are similar clinics all over the country. Beating a urine test for steroids is really, really easy, especially when you have the money professional athletes have and the reason to do it.


Ummm...dude.

This is the MLB...a player could hold a needle in front of the Union and the League, and laugh at those who question it.

The MLB is one of the most crooked sports when it comes to this type of thing. I'll give you a brown crayon, that way when you "color yourself shocked", you don't stand out too much.
 
2013-07-24 09:34:04 PM  
Here what I suggest : that the court show lance the same mercy he showed the people he sued and black-balled. People by the way, who were telling the truth. Don't care that he doped. Do care that he's such a dick. Many have been busted for doping in cycling without leaving behind such an enormous amount of collateral damage. He deserves no mercy. Reap what you have sown dirtbag.
 
2013-07-24 09:38:25 PM  

Gosling: browneye: So Lance Armstrong is throwing everyone under the bus, burning bridges, shaiting on the ashes and burying the whole farkin' pile about a hundred feet below hell.

Well, you know, he brought cycling to America and he can take it right back out again.


he brought cycling to america? really
 
2013-07-24 09:43:51 PM  

fatalvenom: machoprogrammer: Drugs are always ahead of testing.

Remember this, folks. Braun, A-Rod, Peralta, Cruz, etc... (everyone from Biogenesis) were not caught by a positive test. They were caught because the doctor got busted. Do you know what that means? That means they passed many tests. That also means that many other players are doing the same shiat. There are similar clinics all over the country. Beating a urine test for steroids is really, really easy, especially when you have the money professional athletes have and the reason to do it.

Ummm...dude.

This is the MLB...a player could hold a needle in front of the Union and the League, and laugh at those who question it.

The MLB is one of the most crooked sports when it comes to this type of thing. I'll give you a brown crayon, that way when you "color yourself shocked", you don't stand out too much.


Fair enough.
 
2013-07-24 09:44:01 PM  

What_Would_Jimi_Do: he brought cycling to america? really


Greg LeMond made America aware of cycling. Armstrong made cycling something Americans went out of their way to watch.
 
2013-07-24 09:48:03 PM  

JohnBigBootay: Here what I suggest : that the court show lance the same mercy he showed the people he sued and black-balled. People by the way, who were telling the truth. Don't care that he doped. Do care that he's such a dick. Many have been busted for doping in cycling without leaving behind such an enormous amount of collateral damage. He deserves no mercy. Reap what you have sown dirtbag.


Kaneclap.gif

Well done.
 
2013-07-24 09:56:40 PM  

Gosling: What_Would_Jimi_Do: he brought cycling to america? really

Greg LeMond made America aware of cycling. Armstrong made cycling something Americans went out of their way to watch.


Ummm...not really.

Those idiots with false-hope rode the one-nut wonder.

Normal people that I knew always thought of Lance and that fruity bike race in France as a hindrance... Just like his weekend warrior deciples who clog up motorways piss off everyone.

If anyone looks up to someone who has to pedal a bike, well...good help your soul
 
2013-07-24 10:00:57 PM  
I guess, in the end, Armstrong did leave one nice thing behind.

The Tour did end up with some of the most badass intro sequences and music ever during his time riding.
 
2013-07-24 10:11:32 PM  

fatalvenom: Gosling: What_Would_Jimi_Do: he brought cycling to america? really

Greg LeMond made America aware of cycling. Armstrong made cycling something Americans went out of their way to watch.

Ummm...not really.

Those idiots with false-hope rode the one-nut wonder.

Normal people that I knew always thought of Lance and that fruity bike race in France as a hindrance... Just like his weekend warrior deciples who clog up motorways piss off everyone.

If anyone looks up to someone who has to pedal a bike, well...good help your soul


You're weird man, and not in any good way.
 
2013-07-24 10:14:35 PM  
 
2013-07-24 10:17:43 PM  

Barfmaker: You're weird man, and not in any good way.


Let me guess, you wear clip-ins and dress like this on your day off:

fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net

Guess what...Lance isn't going to put down his syringe to find where you're at to give you a reach around.
 
2013-07-24 10:31:15 PM  

the biggest redneck here: He's right.


Since you have to go to the 21st place guy to find someone who didn't dope... yep.
 
2013-07-25 12:01:51 AM  

fatalvenom: Let me guess, you wear clip-ins and dress like this on your day off:


Heh, no, I do not dress like that nor do I own a bicycle. I also do not follow bicycle racing and have no allegiance to Lance Armstrong. In fact I don't really even care about the whole doping thing.

You see, I think you're weird not because I disagree with you and not because I'm invested in things you disagree with, but because you are weird. The scary kind of weird.

I'm glad you live far way from me.
 
2013-07-25 12:03:19 AM  
Bicyclists man, they cant stop being douchewagons. Ever.
 
2013-07-25 12:10:59 AM  
I still remember all the people defending him in threads last summer. Good times.
 
2013-07-25 12:22:56 AM  

fatalvenom: Barfmaker: You're weird man, and not in any good way.

Let me guess, you wear clip-ins and dress like this on your day off:



Guess what...Lance isn't going to put down his syringe to find where you're at to give you a reach around.


Really, man, seek help. You clearly have a lot of weird rage and homophobia issues.
 
2013-07-25 01:18:16 AM  

Fano: the biggest redneck here: He's right.

Since you have to go to the 21st place guy to find someone who didn't dope... yep.


And how do you know that's how far you have to go? Because the others are known dopers who have been sanctioned, suspended, banned, fired, etc? the weirdest thing about this whole saga is that there are so many people who only want one guy to get away with it... and he was the biggest Cheater of all.
 
2013-07-25 01:41:01 AM  

JohnBigBootay: Fano: the biggest redneck here: He's right.

Since you have to go to the 21st place guy to find someone who didn't dope... yep.

And how do you know that's how far you have to go? Because the others are known dopers who have been sanctioned, suspended, banned, fired, etc? the weirdest thing about this whole saga is that there are so many people who only want one guy to get away with it... and he was the biggest Cheater of all.


It appears he was given a speeding ticket at the Indy 500
 
2013-07-25 02:13:52 AM  
Fark Lance Armstrong.  And fark Tiger Woods, too.
 
2013-07-25 02:13:55 AM  
The Tour de France is for losers. Combat cycling is where it's at.
spacebison.com
 
2013-07-25 04:33:12 AM  
Perhaps Armstrong's lawyers are subtly hinting that the post office has enough problems without having to endure a long messy public court case against very talented lawyers willing to claim in court that the post office did know something.
 
2013-07-25 08:15:43 AM  
To quote Apu from The Simpsons:  "I can't believe you won't shut up!"
 
2013-07-25 08:44:58 AM  

machoprogrammer: Drugs are always ahead of testing.

Remember this, folks. Braun, A-Rod, Peralta, Cruz, etc... (everyone from Biogenesis) were not caught by a positive test. They were caught because the doctor got busted. Do you know what that means? That means they passed many tests. That also means that many other players are doing the same shiat. There are similar clinics all over the country. Beating a urine test for steroids is really, really easy, especially when you have the money professional athletes have and the reason to do it.


Nope, testing is right up to speed at the highest levels now. It's just prohibitively expensive, and not used to its fullest capacity NEARLY enough.

Random blood testing with CIR and plastic isotope scanning will get it all, just at a cost.
 
2013-07-25 09:17:14 AM  
Lance Armstrong says his sponsors are dopes for not knowing he was doping is a liar.
 
2013-07-25 10:17:01 AM  

fatalvenom: Barfmaker: You're weird man, and not in any good way.

Let me guess, you wear clip-ins and dress like this on your day off:

[fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net image 724x480]

Guess what...Lance isn't going to put down his syringe to find where you're at to give you a reach around.


you sound fat
 
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