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(Boomstick Comics)   Here's Keanu Reeves keeping up with his Kung-Fu in '47 Ronin'   (boomstickcomics.com) divider line 78
    More: Cool, Keanu Reeves, ronin, kung fu, Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology, Jason Bourne, feature films, sci-fi  
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4068 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 24 Jul 2013 at 3:27 PM (50 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-07-24 02:06:43 PM
If it's 'R' I'll be in the theaters. If they cop-out and make it 'PG-13', I'll wait for Netflix.
 
2013-07-24 02:13:20 PM
What's wrong subby... you just couldn't provide a link directly to youtube instead of some embedded site?
 
2013-07-24 02:24:05 PM
What. The Fark. Was that?

Having heard nothing but the title I was expecting the story of the 47 Ronin, not 300 part 2: Samurai Boogaloo.
 
2013-07-24 03:04:43 PM

scottydoesntknow: If it's 'R' I'll be in the theaters. If they cop-out and make it 'PG-13', I'll wait for Netflix.


Only Judd Apatow comedies are R- rated movies anymore..
 
2013-07-24 03:07:59 PM
Didn't Tom Cruise make one form of this movie already, and hasn't Keanu made another form of this "chosen one" movie already?  I hate to predict dire circumstances for anybody, especially those in my beloved film industry, but this looks like a colossal bomb.

I could be wrong.
 
2013-07-24 03:12:28 PM

hammettman: Didn't Tom Cruise make one form of this movie already, and hasn't Keanu made another form of this "chosen one" movie already?  I hate to predict dire circumstances for anybody, especially those in my beloved film industry, but this looks like a colossal bomb.

I could be wrong.


I'm at the point where I give any sci-fi film that isn't a remake, reboot, prequel or comic book movie a chance. Then again there was After Earth so you never know.
 
2013-07-24 03:33:39 PM

nmrsnr: What. The Fark. Was that?

Having heard nothing but the title I was expecting the story of the 47 Ronin, not 300 part 2: Samurai Boogaloo.


It looked like a mess, I'll pass.
 
2013-07-24 03:35:17 PM
i240.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-24 03:36:17 PM
This could be cool... Doesn't look too bad from the trailer, and it looks like a Keanu Reeves movie. There are certain roles that work great for him, I really don't think anyone else would have made The Matrix as good, for example, Keanu seemed to channel his inner Neo for that role.

Of course, it could also be a movie where they concentrated on the Gee-Whiz special effects so much that the story suffered. I think that dragon was bad-ass though.
 
2013-07-24 03:39:43 PM

nmrsnr: What. The Fark. Was that?

Having heard nothing but the title I was expecting the story of the 47 Ronin, not 300 part 2: Samurai Boogaloo.


At least 300 got the broad strokes of the historical events on which its based, generally correct. This looks like it doesn't even do that. Still, there's a chance it might be a decent popcorn movie - not good enough to bother with the theater but I'll probably netflix it.
 
2013-07-24 03:40:45 PM

Mugato: I'm at the point where I give any sci-fi film that isn't a remake, reboot, prequel or comic book movie a chance. Then again there was After Earf th so you never know.


There...fixed
 
2013-07-24 03:44:11 PM

IdBeCrazyIf: Mugato: I'm at the point where I give any sci-fi film that isn't a remake, reboot, prequel or comic book movie a chance. Then again there was After Earf th so you never know.

There...fixed


He actually pronounced it "earth".
 
2013-07-24 03:46:41 PM
A more grounded, historically faithful adaptation of the story is Chushingura (note: the cover would have you believe that Toshiro Mifune is among the main cast - they lie, his role is disappointingly small)
 
2013-07-24 03:46:47 PM

Mugato: He actually pronounced it "earth".


I know, but for whatever reason it always gets substituted in my head.

That said, that was a terrible terrible terrible movie with little redeeming qualities...just one big giant vanity project.
 
2013-07-24 03:47:59 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-07-24 03:50:12 PM

IdBeCrazyIf: Mugato: He actually pronounced it "earth".

I know, but for whatever reason it always gets substituted in my head.

That said, that was a terrible terrible terrible movie with little redeeming qualities...just one big giant vanity project.


Independence Day? That was a great flick.
 
2013-07-24 03:50:15 PM

Mikey1969: There are certain roles that work great for him, I really don't think anyone else would have made The Matrix as good, for example, Keanu seemed to channel his inner Neo for that role.


He has a very limited range but he plays that range effectively.

/The Matrix would have been a trainwreck with the original choice for Neo

img690.imageshack.us
 
2013-07-24 03:50:21 PM
Trials? WTF? It's about 47 former samurai that exact revenge for their dishonored lord.
 
2013-07-24 03:52:04 PM
What?  They couldn't get Tom Cruise for this one?
 
2013-07-24 03:52:05 PM

Snapper Carr: At least 300 got the broad strokes of the historical events on which its based, generally correct. This looks like it doesn't even do that.


No no, I'm pretty sure the 47 Ronin had to recruit a slave to fight a dragon-lady.

Still, there's a chance it might be a decent popcorn movie - not good enough to bother with the theater but I'll probably netflix it.

I'll wait for the reviews, but I'm not holding out hope. Also, this ruins the possibility of a real 47 Ronin movie, which is actually a pretty good story.
 
2013-07-24 03:53:42 PM

BarleyGnome: Trials? WTF? It's about 47 former samurai that exact revenge for their dishonored lord.


Too "Asian".  We need a big name star to play for the hicks!  And add some more stuff of that "Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon" stuff - that was Oscar gold!
 
2013-07-24 03:57:03 PM

Mugato: IdBeCrazyIf: Mugato: He actually pronounced it "earth".

I know, but for whatever reason it always gets substituted in my head.

That said, that was a terrible terrible terrible movie with little redeeming qualities...just one big giant vanity project.

Independence Day? That was a great flick.


would lawl again
 
2013-07-24 03:57:07 PM

Snapper Carr: Mikey1969: There are certain roles that work great for him, I really don't think anyone else would have made The Matrix as good, for example, Keanu seemed to channel his inner Neo for that role.

He has a very limited range but he plays that range effectively.

/The Matrix would have been a trainwreck with the original choice for Neo


It would have been worth it for the scene where Neo goes into the Matrix and downloads a sweet pair of Air Jordans.
 
2013-07-24 04:00:30 PM

nmrsnr: Snapper Carr: At least 300 got the broad strokes of the historical events on which its based, generally correct. This looks like it doesn't even do that.

No no, I'm pretty sure the 47 Ronin had to recruit a slave to fight a dragon-lady.

Still, there's a chance it might be a decent popcorn movie - not good enough to bother with the theater but I'll probably netflix it.

I'll wait for the reviews, but I'm not holding out hope. Also, this ruins the possibility of a real 47 Ronin movie, which is actually a pretty good story.


Because no one in the history of storytelling has ever heard a story from another culture and went 'good framework, but needs more (culturally relevant to me touchstones)'.

I'm sure no one has EVER remade Romeo and Juliet. Or Aesops fables. Or Grimm brothers stories. Or stoker. Etc.
 
2013-07-24 04:01:03 PM
I had to look to find out what the story of the 47 Ronin was about.

THIS CRAP sounds like Hollywood flacks took the story and said, "How can we make this appeal to American audiences? I know. Let's shoe-horn a white guy into a historical Japanese period story like with that Tom Cruise movie. That worked, right?"

And what's with the supernatural stuff? It doesn't mesh with what I read.
 
2013-07-24 04:01:26 PM

Snapper Carr: Mikey1969: There are certain roles that work great for him, I really don't think anyone else would have made The Matrix as good, for example, Keanu seemed to channel his inner Neo for that role.

He has a very limited range but he plays that range effectively.

/The Matrix would have been a trainwreck with the original choice for Neo

[img690.imageshack.us image 426x571]


If you ever get bored enough, go watch the original Matrix and try to imagine Will Smith doing Reeve's lines and actions.  It's hilarious.

Also, he turned down the role because it confused him.  The movie itself was too confusing for him to follow.  Yeah.
 
2013-07-24 04:09:01 PM

Infernalist: If you ever get bored enough, go watch the original Matrix and try to imagine Will Smith doing Reeve's lines and actions.  It's hilarious.


"Aww hail naw, you are not shooting those bullets at me, I'm dodging that shiat".

"I'm kicking this black leather jacket and sunglasses shiat"

"Why all you agents got to be white folks? Ain't no brother agents up in this biatch"?
 
2013-07-24 04:10:07 PM
Jesus christ.  Way to rape their national story you chucklef*cks.
 
2013-07-24 04:13:47 PM

Snapper Carr: He has a very limited range but he plays that range effectively.


There are other actors that come to mind for the same reason. Gilbert Gottfried is one, he makes you want to kill yourself until you realize the annoying character is the point of the whole thing...

/The Matrix would have been a trainwreck with the original choice for Neo

Jesus, are you serious? I love me some Will Smith, but that role would NOT have fit him at all...
 
2013-07-24 04:15:36 PM

Mugato: Infernalist: If you ever get bored enough, go watch the original Matrix and try to imagine Will Smith doing Reeve's lines and actions.  It's hilarious.

"Aww hail naw, you are not shooting those bullets at me, I'm dodging that shiat".

"I'm kicking this black leather jacket and sunglasses shiat"

"Why all you agents got to be white folks? Ain't no brother agents up in this biatch"?


WELCOME TO ZIOF.
 
2013-07-24 04:16:23 PM

Infernalist: Also, he turned down the role because it confused him.  The movie itself was too confusing for him to follow.  Yeah.


To be fair, watching The Matrix the first time, the story was so cool that there was no way I could believe it wasn't based on some kick ass Sci Fi story, maybe a Philip K Dick or Harlan Ellison story, I can see it being confusing in script format...
 
2013-07-24 04:25:02 PM
Soooo.....Django Unchained: Japan?
 
2013-07-24 04:25:54 PM

netizencain: What's wrong subby... you just couldn't provide a link directly to youtube instead of some embedded site?


weird thing is, the "how to get your link on Fark" recommendations say to do just that.  I'd prefer if, for things like this at least, it just went to YouTube instead of a teeny, tiny video in the corner of an article I'm not going to read anyway.

/not subby
 
2013-07-24 04:28:38 PM

Mikey1969: To be fair, watching The Matrix the first time, the story was so cool that there was no way I could believe it wasn't based on some kick ass Sci Fi story, maybe a Philip K Dick or Harlan Ellison story, I can see it being confusing in script format...


William Gibson stories, Ghost in the Shell, with Kung Fu and Jesus symbology in a blender.
 
2013-07-24 04:35:33 PM
Keanu reeves is forever awesome because the matrix is forever awesome
 
2013-07-24 04:35:35 PM
I predict that this movie is going to be a lot like Keanu, himself: pretty until it opens its mouth.
 
2013-07-24 04:36:55 PM
Well at least Hollywood is down to only requiring half-a-white person be injected into heroic narratives.
 
2013-07-24 04:48:33 PM
I imagine Keanu as the 'Good Guy Greg' of Hollywood.
 
2013-07-24 04:58:48 PM
Honestly, it seems like fun...

I would love to see a more accurate portrait of the 47 Ronin story, but this looks entertaining in the same way Samurai 7 was fun.
 
2013-07-24 05:01:18 PM
digilander.libero.it

Fun Fact: I have the same boots as Sad Keanu. They're incredibly comfortable, but the sole has a tendency to split along the ball of the foot. Maybe that's why he's sad?
 
2013-07-24 05:03:36 PM
1.bp.blogspot.com

I could buy this as a passable L5R film.

However, it seems as related to the story of the 47 ronin as the World War Z film is to the book...
 
2013-07-24 05:04:21 PM

RockNStroll: I predict that this movie is going to be a lot like Keanu, himself: pretty until it opens its mouth.


Whoa.
 
2013-07-24 05:05:25 PM

Crudbucket: [digilander.libero.it image 442x526]

Fun Fact: I have the same boots as Sad Keanu. They're incredibly comfortable, but the sole has a tendency to split along the ball of the foot. Maybe that's why he's sad?


I'm sad that Keanu is sad.  He shouldn't be sad, he's Neo.
 
2013-07-24 05:20:48 PM

kroonermanblack: Because no one in the history of storytelling has ever heard a story from another culture and went 'good framework, but needs more (culturally relevant to me touchstones)'.I'm sure no one has EVER remade Romeo and Juliet. Or Aesops fables. Or Grimm brothers stories. Or stoker. Etc.


[not sure if serious.jpg]

There's adaptation (Magnificent Seven vs. Seven Samurai), reimagining (O Brother Where Art Thou vs. The Odyssey), and modernization (Romeo + Juliet vs. Shakespeare), but this is like calling "Starship Troopers" "Apollo 13," there's absolutely no resemblance to the historical story its name represents.
 
2013-07-24 05:22:58 PM
I have no speakers - is this in English or Japanese?
 
2013-07-24 05:24:52 PM

Infernalist: Crudbucket: [digilander.libero.it image 442x526]

Fun Fact: I have the same boots as Sad Keanu. They're incredibly comfortable, but the sole has a tendency to split along the ball of the foot. Maybe that's why he's sad?

I'm sad that Keanu is sad.  He shouldn't be sad, he's Neo.


Wyld Stallyns!
 
2013-07-24 05:27:32 PM
I wonder if he wins the boss battle at the end.
 
2013-07-24 05:28:35 PM

cgraves67: Let's shoe-horn a white guy into a historical Japanese period story like with that Tom Cruise movie.


Meh. He's Asian enough.
 
2013-07-24 05:32:45 PM
WHAT THE BUGGY DING-DONG DID ANY OF THAT HAVE TO DO WITH THE 47 RONIN?

kroonermanblack: Because no one in the history of storytelling has ever heard a story from another culture and went 'good framework, but needs more (culturally relevant to me touchstones)'.

I'm sure no one has EVER remade Romeo and Juliet. Or Aesops fables. Or Grimm brothers stories. Or stoker. Etc.


"Touchstones?"  This is more than "touchstones."

You mentioned Romeo & Juliet, so let me see if I can convey the level of suck that this is.  I'm going to do an "adaptation" of Romeo and Juliet.  But in my version, "Romeo" is the code name for an asteroid that threatens to destroy the Earth.  A ragtag band of misfits are immediately recruited to become a special corps of psychics trained to use telekinesis to divert asteroids, led by Lydia "Frier" Laurence, formerly a KFC manager, now a hip-hop ninja who is in unrequited love with a gay cowboy.  The cowboy has an adopted daughter named Juliet, who makes snarky comments and blogs about how they make too many zombie movies these days.  But it's still "Romeo and Juliet", I'm just making it more "relevant" for today's youth.
 
2013-07-24 05:32:45 PM
Sorry, but that looked horrible. They couldn't even find 30 seconds of decent acting out of all the footage they captured? Every single line delivered felt like someone on a set delivering a line written by a writer into a camera.

/ At least Zombie Boy is getting some work.
 
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