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(TC Palm)   "(Sexual intercourse) you (male masturbation), (sexual intercourse) make me"   (blogs.tcpalm.com) divider line 150
    More: Florida, Fort Pierce, Walgreens, 25th Street  
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20034 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Jul 2013 at 12:41 PM (38 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



150 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-07-24 09:50:11 AM
(female dog,) I (male masturbation) whenever the (sexual intercourse) I (sexual intercourse) want.
 
2013-07-24 10:08:40 AM
That's the most bizarre censoring I've ever seen. I might just adopt it.
 
2013-07-24 10:24:41 AM

Slaxl: That's the most bizarre censoring I've ever seen. I might just adopt it.


This.  Plus, what do you think he said for "male masturbation."?

I interpret this as, "fark you, ?, farking make me"
 
2013-07-24 10:30:39 AM

ambassador_ahab: Slaxl: That's the most bizarre censoring I've ever seen. I might just adopt it.

This.  Plus, what do you think he said for "male masturbation."?

I interpret this as, "fark you, ?, farking make me"


Well I assumed "wanker", but that's because I'm English, do Americans say it? Doesn't sound right in an American accent. Perhaps he said "jerk off", I've heard that used like "wanker". None of these need censoring though, which just adds to the strangeness.
 
2013-07-24 10:32:45 AM
"jerk off" actually sounds less explicit than "male masturbation" to me...

I've lived in the UK and also first thought "wanker," but unless this guy is british, it doesn't seem consistent with the article.
 
2013-07-24 10:56:35 AM
sfist.com
 
2013-07-24 11:09:27 AM

ambassador_ahab: "jerk off" actually sounds less explicit than "male masturbation" to me...

I've lived in the UK and also first thought "wanker," but unless this guy is british, it doesn't seem consistent with the article.


as an American, I enjoy peppering my speech with British obscenities.  The Brits have some pretty great swear words and, being ignorant farkers that Americans are, there's a 50% chance that the person you're cursing out has no idea what the word means.
 
2013-07-24 11:17:57 AM
The police report says he said "Fark you, jerk off, farking make me."  Why the reporter couldn't have simply noted that the guy used obscenities, or said "F-you, jerk o--, f-ing make me", or something similar, I don't know.
 
2013-07-24 11:21:32 AM
He could have called him a jag off. The American equivalent of wanker.
 
2013-07-24 11:29:14 AM
dog f*cker?
 
2013-07-24 11:31:55 AM
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
 
2013-07-24 11:46:18 AM
(urinate) off, you (male chicken)-sucking, (bundle of sticks and twigs)-loving, (rectal opening)!
 
2013-07-24 12:20:05 PM
My favorite part was:

"Lloyd's favorite beverage wasn't identified in the affidavit. "

You missed out on the (sexual intercoursing) endorsement of the century (male masturbation) Flavolube.
 
2013-07-24 12:42:55 PM
I love british-isms. Gob-smacked wanker!
 
2013-07-24 12:43:06 PM

Lando Lincoln: He could have called him a jag off. The American equivalent of wanker.


Jag?
 
2013-07-24 12:44:33 PM
Coitus?
 
2013-07-24 12:45:04 PM
Now we got a nice, quiet little beach community here, and I aim to keep it nice and quiet. So let me make something plain. I don't like you (oral sexing) around, bothering our citizens, Lebowski. I don't like your (male masturbation) name. I don't like your (male masturbation)  face. I don't like your (male masturbation)  behavior, and I don't like you, (male masturbation) . Do I make myself clear?
 
2013-07-24 12:45:22 PM
In Britian, cookies are referred to as "strumpets", and drinking a soda is called "having some gas."
 
2013-07-24 12:46:09 PM
"fark you, you jack-off, f*cking make me"
 
2013-07-24 12:46:23 PM
So what was his favorite beverage?

/inquiring minds, etc.
 
2013-07-24 12:46:44 PM
Feeling inspired I just emailed Mrs Hobbs at work and called her a biatch in absentia.
 
2013-07-24 12:47:14 PM
"Richard attempted to push his way through the officer with no success."  lols.
 
2013-07-24 12:47:35 PM
It's clearly this -

fark you, you golden-showering-cum-cake-gobbling-anal-fister, farking make me.
 
2013-07-24 12:47:54 PM
Vin Scully thinks that story is fertilizer.
 
2013-07-24 12:49:25 PM

YoOjo: golden-showering-cum-cake-gobbling-anal-fister,


Coincidentally, that's the name of my Justin Bieber cover band.
 
2013-07-24 12:49:30 PM
well...
 
2013-07-24 12:49:59 PM

pute kisses like a man: Now we got a nice, quiet little beach community here, and I aim to keep it nice and quiet. So let me make something plain. I don't like you (oral sexing) around, bothering our citizens, Lebowski. I don't like your (male masturbation) name. I don't like your (male masturbation)  face. I don't like your (male masturbation)  behavior, and I don't like you, (male masturbation) . Do I make myself clear?


Came here for this, thanks.

/Stay out of Malibu Lebowski!
 
2013-07-24 12:50:18 PM
Missionary position you, you slam the ham. Receiving partner on top make me.
 
2013-07-24 12:50:37 PM

dahmers love zombie: The police report says he said "Fark you, jerk off, farking make me."  Why the reporter couldn't have simply noted that the guy used obscenities, or said "F-you, jerk o--, f-ing make me", or something similar, I don't know.


Their "translation" doesn't make any damn sense.  Unless he was using "jerk off" as an imperative.  Otherwise, shouldn't have read, "(sexual intercourse) you, (male masturbater), (sexual intercourse) make me."

Although it's nice to see that someone cared enough to note that "jerk off" is a specifically male form of masturbation.
 
2013-07-24 12:50:51 PM
Man, that's a lot of work trying to figure that out.  I'm sending for an Indian Code Talker.
 
2013-07-24 12:50:56 PM
Oh, intercourse the penguin.
 
2013-07-24 12:51:19 PM
Oooh! MADLIBS!
 
2013-07-24 12:51:26 PM

YoOjo: golden-showering-cum-cake-gobbling-anal-fister


Only on Wednesday.

Oh, hang on. BRB, got something to do.
 
2013-07-24 12:51:44 PM
The FARK filter infects the internet.
 
2013-07-24 12:51:58 PM
They should stock Faygo so old juggalos do not get all crazy.
 
2013-07-24 12:52:10 PM

miss diminutive: (urinate) off, you (male chicken)-sucking, (bundle of sticks and twigs)-loving, (rectal opening)!


I lol'd.
 
2013-07-24 12:52:37 PM
"How angry was the irate man, Gene?"

"He was so irate, he screamed, '"(Blank) you (blank), (blank) make me.' "

img834.imageshack.us
 
2013-07-24 12:52:51 PM
Allow me to translate, for the gentlefolk of Fark are obviously unfamiliar with the crude street patois of the common man:

"Boink you, fap, humping make me."

Hope that clears it up for everyone.

Here to help.
 
2013-07-24 12:53:08 PM

Ambivalence: ambassador_ahab: "jerk off" actually sounds less explicit than "male masturbation" to me...

I've lived in the UK and also first thought "wanker," but unless this guy is british, it doesn't seem consistent with the article.

as an American, I enjoy peppering my speech with British obscenities.  The Brits have some pretty great swear words and, being ignorant farkers that Americans are, there's a 50% chance that the person you're cursing out has no idea what the word means.


^^^^^
 
2013-07-24 12:54:25 PM

miss diminutive: (urinate) off, you (male chicken)-sucking, (bundle of sticks and twigs)-loving, (rectal opening)!


Kindling-loving? Thatch-loving? C'mon, throw me a bone here!
 
2013-07-24 12:54:31 PM
(Mexican donkey show) you, (pathetic lonely tear-filled mastrubation) loser, you (sex act illegal in most countries) make me!
 
2013-07-24 12:55:11 PM

ambassador_ahab: Slaxl: That's the most bizarre censoring I've ever seen. I might just adopt it.

This.  Plus, what do you think he said for "male masturbation."?

I interpret this as, "fark you, ?, farking make me"


I'm assuming it was "fark you jackoff, farking make me."  At least that's what I would have said in that same situation.
 
2013-07-24 12:56:30 PM
3.bp.blogspot.com

Dirty mind?
 
2013-07-24 12:56:45 PM
Oh, I need my (swooning away into unconsciousness) couch!
 
2013-07-24 12:56:57 PM
Business bad? (Sexual intercourse) you, pay me. Oh, you had a fire? (Sexual intercourse) you, pay me. Place got hit by lightning, huh? (Sexual intercourse) you, pay me.
 
2013-07-24 12:58:12 PM
Arizona Watermelon Fruit Cocktail was undoubtably what he was looking for.
 
2013-07-24 12:58:43 PM

Ambivalence: ambassador_ahab: "jerk off" actually sounds less explicit than "male masturbation" to me...

I've lived in the UK and also first thought "wanker," but unless this guy is british, it doesn't seem consistent with the article.

as an American, I enjoy peppering my speech with British obscenities.  The Brits have some pretty great swear words and, being ignorant farkers that Americans are, there's a 50% chance that the person you're cursing out has no idea what the word means.


Viz Comic/Magazine has a lovely book called Roger's Profanisaurus which you might like. It's online but owning the book is preferable.
 
2013-07-24 12:58:51 PM
I particularly liked when they informed us that the incident began before 3:05 am.  I'm guessing it was around 3:04:30 - 3:04:55.  Any higher than that and they probably would have rounded up and just went with 3:05.
 
2013-07-24 12:59:11 PM

dabbletech: So what was his favorite beverage?

/inquiring minds, etc.


Apparently, is was some farking soft drink; not even alcoholic.

Yes, I am shocked, too.
 
2013-07-24 01:00:43 PM

Ivo Shandor: Oh, intercourse the penguin.


Aaaarrgghh, you beat me to it!
 
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