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(1011 Now Lincoln)   When God says "take off your clothes and protest at the State Capitol," don't listen to him man, he's just trying to get you arrested   (1011now.com) divider line 53
    More: Amusing, LPD, clothing, objections  
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3726 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Jul 2013 at 8:55 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



53 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-07-23 08:57:24 PM
Religion is a mental illness.
 
2013-07-23 08:58:21 PM
God is kind of a dick.
 
2013-07-23 08:59:40 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: Religion is a mental illness.


The mentally ill sometimes gravitate to religion. And when they do, they should be embraced, not rejected.
 
2013-07-23 09:00:28 PM
If I found myself with God-like powers, I'd totally fark with people like this.

"Tell the world of My glory.  Stand on the corner with your pants around your ankles, holding sparklers in each hand, singing 'We Built This City On Rock & Roll' at the top of your voice."
 
2013-07-23 09:01:39 PM
www.oocities.org
 
2013-07-23 09:02:27 PM
For once I'm praying I'll get jury duty.  I'll need to see clear, high resolution photos of the accused during the midst of his crime before I can reach a verdict.  Yes, please email them to my personal email address [my user name] at gmail.com.
 
2013-07-23 09:09:24 PM

MrHappyRotter: For once I'm praying I'll get jury duty.  I'll need to see clear, high resolution photos of the accused during the midst of his crime before I can reach a verdict.  Yes, please email them to my personal email address [my user name] at gmail.com.


Open the flood gates of madness folks, MrHappyRotter just requested WIE.
 
2013-07-23 09:11:58 PM
To be completely honest, if I had to keep track of everyone all the time I'd probably get bored and tell random people to do crazy shiat as well.
 
2013-07-23 09:12:12 PM
In Oregon that's protected free speech.
 
2013-07-23 09:16:03 PM
 That's some mighty fine trollin God. Thumbs up.
 
2013-07-23 09:18:21 PM

jake_lex: If I found myself with God-like powers, I'd totally fark with people like this.

"Tell the world of My glory.  Stand on the corner with your pants around your ankles, holding sparklers in each hand, singing 'We Built This City On Rock & Roll' at the top of your voice."


That's just cruel. Like, Old Testament, unbelievably farking cruel.

(Making anyone sing a Starship song, not the rest of it.)
 
2013-07-23 09:20:31 PM
And God sayeth unto Man, take off your clothes and obscenely preach to the unwashed masses and though shall receive free healthcare.

/The church preys upon weak minded people.
 
2013-07-23 09:20:37 PM

WhoopAssWayne: AverageAmericanGuy: Religion is a mental illness.

The mentally ill sometimes gravitate to religion. And when they do, they should be embraced, not rejected.


Ew, no, have you seen some of those guys?

Especially since they insist on running around naked all the time.
 
2013-07-23 09:30:04 PM

SearchN: MrHappyRotter: For once I'm praying I'll get jury duty.  I'll need to see clear, high resolution photos of the accused during the midst of his crime before I can reach a verdict.  Yes, please email them to my personal email address [my user name] at gmail.com.

Open the flood gates of madness folks, MrHappyRotter just requested WIE.


Excitedly checking ema-- eh, nothing.
 
M-G
2013-07-23 09:37:17 PM
Obviously the government is impinging on religious freedom.  Oh, that only applies to birth control, I guess....
 
2013-07-23 09:37:54 PM

Gyrfalcon: Ew, no, have you seen some of those guys?


Yes, I have. It's excruciatingly sad. Perhaps you know of worse cases than I do. I just think about the paranoia, strange looks, the desperate need for some help.
 
2013-07-23 09:43:02 PM
A man was exploring the deepest part of the jungle when he finds himself in a clearing filled with cannibal tribesmen preparing for a ritual. They quickly surround him, and he thinks to himself, "I am SO screwed!"

Suddenly he hears a voice from above speaking to him: "No, you're not. Grab a spear from the tribesman next to you, run straight for the chief, and run him through with the spear."

He does what he was told. He quickly grabs a spear from a tribesman next to him, runs straight for the chief, and runs him through with the spear.

The voice from above speaks again: "NOW you're screwed!"
 
2013-07-23 09:43:07 PM

WhoopAssWayne: Gyrfalcon: Ew, no, have you seen some of those guys?

Yes, I have. It's excruciatingly sad. Perhaps you know of worse cases than I do. I just think about the paranoia, strange looks, the desperate need for some help.


....the nakedness, the scabies, the MRSA...
 
2013-07-23 09:46:59 PM
www.bannedinhollywood.com
 
2013-07-23 09:47:16 PM

WhoopAssWayne: Gyrfalcon: Ew, no, have you seen some of those guys?

Yes, I have. It's excruciatingly sad. Perhaps you know of worse cases than I do. I just think about the paranoia, strange looks, the desperate need for some help.


Sounds like Thanksgiving dinner at my place.
 
2013-07-23 09:47:23 PM

JasonOfOrillia: God is kind of a dick.


I was hoping for some of those "Jesus, stop being a dick" pictures.
 
2013-07-23 09:53:12 PM

Gyrfalcon: ....the nakedness, the scabies, the MRSA...


MRSA is nothing to laugh about bro - my step-mom is a nurse and that sh*t is f*cking brutal.

Danger Avoid Death: Sounds like Thanksgiving dinner at my place.


Ouch!
 
2013-07-23 09:54:03 PM
i40.tinypic.com
 
2013-07-23 10:01:29 PM
But then, David did dance nude in front of the Ark of the Covenant when it was brought back to the Temple.
 
2013-07-23 10:18:55 PM
God told me that almost all religious people are either crazy or frauds.

Oh, and that I should stop playing with myself....
 
2013-07-23 10:22:35 PM
 
2013-07-23 10:29:41 PM
 
2013-07-23 10:34:25 PM

WhoopAssWayne: Gyrfalcon: ....the nakedness, the scabies, the MRSA...

MRSA is nothing to laugh about bro - my step-mom is a nurse and that sh*t is f*cking brutal.

Danger Avoid Death: Sounds like Thanksgiving dinner at my place.

Ouch!


Not laughing. I was a patient advocate for a mental health organization, and one of my duties was interviewing patients for release hearings. A lot of 5150 holds are of street people, and if they have MRSA or scabies, there's supposed to be a notice on their doors. So I'd go in for the interview and at least 35% of the time, the person would be sitting there with either the scabies rash or the white MRSA spots all over their arms. THEY were always cool about telling me...it was the staff who would give me the Little Orphan Annie eyes "Oh, right...we forgot to post the notice!"
 
2013-07-23 10:35:33 PM

WhoopAssWayne: The mentally ill sometimes gravitate created religion


FTFY
 
2013-07-23 10:42:46 PM
There are not hot people ITFA are there...

/Sad
//Forever alone
 
2013-07-23 10:43:27 PM
God told me to go to the Texas Capitol, take off my pants and drag my ass all over the front steps like a dog with worms.
 
2013-07-23 10:46:35 PM

SpdrJay: God told me that almost all religious people are either crazy or frauds.

Oh, and that I should stop playing with myself....


Damnit.   Less than four minutes!
 
2013-07-23 10:47:58 PM

darth_badger: drag my ass all over the front steps like a dog with worms.


dogs don't do that because they have worms, idjit.  They do it because their anal glands are impacted, and they're trying to manually express them.
 
2013-07-23 10:58:20 PM

IamAwake: darth_badger: drag my ass all over the front steps like a dog with worms.

dogs don't do that because they have worms, idjit.  They do it because their anal glands are impacted, and they're trying to manually express them.


God told me to express myself when I did it but I didn't understand. Thanks.
 
2013-07-23 10:59:29 PM

Gyrfalcon: I was a patient advocate for a mental health organization


You're the best. My wife is studying to be a GAL.
 
2013-07-23 11:09:49 PM

WhoopAssWayne: Gyrfalcon: I was a patient advocate for a mental health organization

You're the best. My wife is studying to be a GAL.


I would hope your wife is already a gal.
 
2013-07-23 11:15:41 PM

Danger Avoid Death: I would hope your wife is already a gal.


Heh - GAL.
 
2013-07-23 11:16:46 PM

Danger Avoid Death: WhoopAssWayne: Gyrfalcon: I was a patient advocate for a mental health organization

You're the best. My wife is studying to be a GAL.

I would hope your wife is already a gal.


Hey now. Some people fall in love with transexuals and that's okay.
 
2013-07-23 11:17:40 PM
This is why it's very important to pay attention to which god is speaking to you.

Coyote loves messin' with folks.
 
2013-07-23 11:19:06 PM

darth_badger: God told me to express myself when I did it but I didn't understand. Thanks.


happy to help.  Now go forth, and do long division
 
2013-07-23 11:23:52 PM

Gyrfalcon: WhoopAssWayne: Gyrfalcon: Ew, no, have you seen some of those guys?

Yes, I have. It's excruciatingly sad. Perhaps you know of worse cases than I do. I just think about the paranoia, strange looks, the desperate need for some help.

....the nakedness, the scabies, the MRSA...


The biting, the choking, the screwdriver-stabbing...I work at a public hospital. The crazy folk we get do NOT want to be embraced.....or looked at, or spoken to, or.....
 
2013-07-23 11:25:52 PM
''Take a shiat on the salad bar at Wendy's!''
 
2013-07-23 11:33:09 PM

IamAwake: darth_badger: drag my ass all over the front steps like a dog with worms.

dogs don't do that because they have worms, idjit.  They do it because their anal glands are impacted, and they're trying to manually express them.


They do it whenever their butts itch regardless of the reason: worms, anal glands, hemorrhoids, hot peppers on the pizza they stole....
 
2013-07-23 11:54:50 PM

God Is My Co-Pirate: [i40.tinypic.com image 850x637]


If Brad Pitt were gonna help me stretch carpet, I'd be allover it.
 
2013-07-24 01:16:25 AM

WhoopAssWayne: Gyrfalcon: I was a patient advocate for a mental health organization

You're the best. My wife is studying to be a GAL.


She's a saint.
 
2013-07-24 03:53:36 AM

WhoopAssWayne: Gyrfalcon: ....the nakedness, the scabies, the MRSA...

MRSA is nothing to laugh about bro - my step-mom is a nurse and that sh*t is f*cking brutal.

Danger Avoid Death: Sounds like Thanksgiving dinner at my place.

Ouch!


/small threadjack

As someone that's had MRSA, let me tell you: I have never felt closer to death than when I came down with it. Almost lost my leg. Also, I finally really came to understand the term "delerious with pain". Was in the hospital for 2 weeks recovering, then 2 more weeks at home.

/and its amazing how many times we come in contact with it every day.
//comforting thoughts!
 
2013-07-24 06:43:16 AM

JasonOfOrillia: God is kind of a dick.

 
2013-07-24 07:45:30 AM
God wants nudity.  but in all truth, he's a moran
 
2013-07-24 08:14:07 AM
The voice that tells me to get naked at the state capitol is my own.
 
2013-07-24 08:36:39 AM

WhoopAssWayne: Gyrfalcon: I was a patient advocate for a mental health organization

You're the best. My wife is studying to be a GAL.


What did she study before?  Being a GUY?
 
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