If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(CF News 13)   Step 1: Ask customer at your cell phone store out. Step 2: If she says no, carry her into the back room and hold her against her will   (cfnews13.com) divider line 62
    More: Florida, cell phones, MetroPCS Communications Inc., kidnappings  
•       •       •

6368 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Jul 2013 at 7:20 PM (38 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



62 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-07-23 05:04:47 PM
you're doing it wrong.
 
2013-07-23 05:06:55 PM
Uh... it's not THAT kind of cell...
 
2013-07-23 07:02:24 PM

ManateeGag: you're doing it wrong.


step 3 is profit?
 
2013-07-23 07:23:28 PM
He should have just built a replica of her from half-eaten burritos ...
http://video.adultswim.com/lucy-the-daughter-of-the-devil/creepy-bus bo y.html
 
2013-07-23 07:25:16 PM
FTFA: Herrera finally let her go, but when police came to arrest him they found a five-foot nylon rope in his pants pocket. Officers say he claimed to have the rope to practice knot tying.

stickerish.com
 
2013-07-23 07:27:02 PM
Let's not turn this rape into a murder :)
 
2013-07-23 07:27:51 PM
Did she read the EULA?
Did she agree to the terms?
 
2013-07-23 07:28:08 PM
Herrera finally let her go, but when police came to arrest him they found a five-foot nylon rope in his pants pocket. Officers say he claimed to have the rope to practice knot tying.

He had plans for her.
 
2013-07-23 07:28:13 PM
Sounds like a good plot to a new romcom starring Julia Roberts and Robert Downey Jr.

Stuck in the Closet
Love Cells

Trapped in Love
In the Back
 
2013-07-23 07:28:14 PM
I bet, 40 years into a happy marriage, these crazy kids look back on how they started dating and laugh at his antiquated, some might even say Pleistocenic-like, ways of courting.
 
2013-07-23 07:29:26 PM
i always carry a rope in my pocket and practice tying knots
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-07-23 07:30:39 PM
The report also says he then told her to "Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't want me."
In the victim's statement to police, she reportedly said she kept telling Herrera "no"


Well there's her problem. She needed to listen carefully to what he said. She answered no when asked to say she did not want him. She should have said yes, meaning I don't want you.
 
2013-07-23 07:37:22 PM
Is that wrong? Should I not do that?

And, as a follow up, should I let them out now?
 
2013-07-23 07:38:01 PM

ZAZ: The report also says he then told her to "Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't want me."
In the victim's statement to police, she reportedly said she kept telling Herrera "no"

Well there's her problem. She needed to listen carefully to what he said. She answered no when asked to say she did not want him. She should have said yes, meaning I don't want you.


Common grammatical error, I can see his confusion.
 
2013-07-23 07:38:41 PM

ZAZ: The report also says he then told her to "Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't want me."
In the victim's statement to police, she reportedly said she kept telling Herrera "no"

Well there's her problem. She needed to listen carefully to what he said. She answered no when asked to say she did not want him. She should have said yes, meaning I don't want you.


In other words your saying if she wasn't dressed so rappey he wouldn't have had yes her nos...

/ phrasing
// in the danger zone
 
2013-07-23 07:39:49 PM
How's a guy supposed to get laid these days if all these loopholes are criminalized?
 
2013-07-23 07:41:02 PM
This is why I always order my phones over the internet -- no rope burns.
 
2013-07-23 07:41:22 PM
If I cannot rape with impunity I don't want to be a politician!
 
2013-07-23 07:41:41 PM
Can you hear me now?
 
2013-07-23 07:42:16 PM
Herrera finally let her go, but when police came to arrest him they found a five-foot nylon rope in his pants pocket.

Or was he just sad to see them?
 
2013-07-23 07:45:36 PM
romance is tricky...
 
2013-07-23 07:45:43 PM
Herrera finally let her go, but when police came to arrest him they found a five-foot nylon rope in his pants pocket.

Officers say he claimed to have the rope to practice knot tying.


Well, duh.
 
2013-07-23 07:46:30 PM
Rookie mistake. You ALWAYS skip step 1
 
2013-07-23 07:47:05 PM
He was just standing his ground.
Obvious self-defense.
 
2013-07-23 07:47:10 PM
He was just trying to get her to upgrade to what he felt was a better boyfriend plan that included free roaming.
 
2013-07-23 07:48:17 PM

MatrixOutsider: How's a guy supposed to get laid these days if all these loopholes are criminalized?


The old fashioned way. You stalk them first.
 
2013-07-23 07:48:42 PM

SDRR: Herrera finally let her go, but when police came to arrest him they found a five-foot nylon rope in his pants pocket.

Officers say he claimed to have the rope to practice knot tying.

Well, duh.


Its cool that I know people that say thing like that

/Not cool
 
2013-07-23 07:53:24 PM
Herrera finally let her go, but when police came to arrest him they found a five-foot nylon rope in his pants pocket. Officers say he claimed to have the rope to practice knot tying.

Cop: Can you tell us who or what you expected to tie with this rope?
Herrera: A frayed knot.
 
2013-07-23 07:58:58 PM

you are a puppet: Herrera finally let her go, but when police came to arrest him they found a five-foot nylon rope in his pants pocket. Officers say he claimed to have the rope to practice knot tying.

Cop: Can you tell us who or what you expected to tie with this rope?
Herrera: A frayed knot.


boo

exclusiveblend.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-07-23 08:01:44 PM
Next time, read the small print lady.
 
2013-07-23 08:02:51 PM

blueknight: i always carry a rope in my pocket and practice tying knots


You too huh?  I thought i was the only one!  Amazing!
 
2013-07-23 08:08:26 PM
Never really surprises me when cell phone salesmen get arrested.  They always just come across as the most vile and underhanded people on the planet. I'd put them somewhere below timeshare salesmen on the ethics level, and they had to have a law passed so they had to stop the sales pressure after a set amount of time.

Sales is the most socio-pathic of the professions.
 
2013-07-23 08:08:39 PM
Even worse, he forced her to buy the extended warranty for the phone.
 
2013-07-23 08:09:37 PM
At least he won't have any trouble getting dates for the next few years
 
2013-07-23 08:15:02 PM
"Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't want me "

I always wonder where these kinds of crazy narcissists come from. How do people get such a delusional self-image?
 
2013-07-23 08:26:23 PM

BigLuca: Herrera finally let her go, but when police came to arrest him they found a five-foot nylon rope in his pants pocket.

Or was he just sad to see them?


ba dum tish!
 
2013-07-23 08:29:18 PM

WilliamLeeTwitch: romcom


Stoppit. When the Japanese make up words like this, it's cute. When Westerners do it, it's just annoying.
 
2013-07-23 08:33:52 PM

TastyEloi: "Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't want me "

I always wonder where these kinds of crazy narcissists come from. How do people get such a delusional self-image?


Talk radio.
 
2013-07-23 08:51:34 PM
Is it just me or do his eyes in his picture move???!!!
 
2013-07-23 08:51:51 PM

JonnyBGoode: WilliamLeeTwitch: romcom

Stoppit. When the Japanese make up words like this, it's cute. When Westerners do it, it's just annoying.


You just heard RomCom? Welcome to 1996, man. You're gonna hate the Spice Girls and Titanic.
 
2013-07-23 08:54:11 PM

Danger Avoid Death: TastyEloi: "Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't want me "

I always wonder where these kinds of crazy narcissists come from. How do people get such a delusional self-image?

Talk radio.


Your radio talks to you too? I thought I was the only one. Phew. Glad to get this off my chest. Hey, does yours tell you to run people off the road? Mine's always telling me to do that. If I don't do it it makes me hit my fingers with a hammer. And here I thought no one would believe me...
 
2013-07-23 08:58:42 PM
www.cfnews13.com www.blogcommanderbill.net
 
2013-07-23 09:03:29 PM

Combustion: JonnyBGoode: WilliamLeeTwitch: romcom

Stoppit. When the Japanese make up words like this, it's cute. When Westerners do it, it's just annoying.

You just heard RomCom? Welcome to 1996, man. You're gonna hate the Spice Girls and Titanic.


Not if the Spice Girls are ON the Titanic.
 
2013-07-23 09:20:22 PM

DeadGeek: FTFA: Herrera finally let her go, but when police came to arrest him they found a five-foot nylon rope in his pants pocket. Officers say he claimed to have the rope to practice knot tying.

[stickerish.com image 500x500]


Was he a boy scout? I always carried around some rope in my pockets when I was in boy scouts if you know what I mean.
 
2013-07-23 09:39:28 PM

SpaceBison: DeadGeek: FTFA: Herrera finally let her go, but when police came to arrest him they found a five-foot nylon rope in his pants pocket. Officers say he claimed to have the rope to practice knot tying.

[stickerish.com image 500x500]

Was he a boy scout? I always carried around some rope in my pockets when I was in boy scouts if you know what I mean.


Is that a euphemism for homosexuality? Or do they teach rape techniques in the upper ranks? See, I never got past Tiger. Retired on a high note after destroying the Pinewood Derby.
 
2013-07-23 09:49:12 PM

Elzar: ZAZ: The report also says he then told her to "Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't want me."
In the victim's statement to police, she reportedly said she kept telling Herrera "no"

Well there's her problem. She needed to listen carefully to what he said. She answered no when asked to say she did not want him. She should have said yes, meaning I don't want you.

In other words your saying if she wasn't dressed so rappey he wouldn't have had yes her nos...

/ phrasing
// in the danger zone


i140.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-23 10:03:19 PM
Why aren't we poking fun at the guy's name? I mean seriously, "Jaaziah"?

/is it because Fark geeks have sympathy for the geek kidnappers
 
2013-07-23 10:22:42 PM

TastyEloi: "Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't want me "

I always wonder where these kinds of crazy narcissists come from. How do people get such a delusional self-image?


but...someone one Fark said confidence is sexy!
 
2013-07-23 10:32:37 PM
Latino courtship rituals.  At least they caught before he had three girls in his basement.
 
2013-07-23 10:33:35 PM
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
This guy?
 
Displayed 50 of 62 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report