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(Herald Sun)   "We taught a lion to eat tofu"   (heraldsun.com.au) divider line 183
    More: Fail, vegans  
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10186 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Jul 2013 at 8:10 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-07-23 05:02:18 PM
He stalked the wily soybean.
 
2013-07-23 05:07:38 PM
Tofu's funeral will be next week

/right after the cage is cleaned
 
2013-07-23 05:35:59 PM
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-07-23 06:33:09 PM
Whaddya know... some vegans are stupid.
 
2013-07-23 06:46:51 PM
I knew a girl from school who had a dog that she fed vegan dog food. I always wanted to smack her in the nose with a rolled up magazine and say "NO!"

/Granted, dogs aren't obligate carnivores like cats, but I still can't imagine that a purely vegan diet being well-advised for dogs.
 
2013-07-23 06:59:01 PM

RexTalionis: I knew a girl from school who had a dog that she fed vegan dog food. I always wanted to smack her in the nose with a rolled up magazine and say "NO!"

/Granted, dogs aren't obligate carnivores like cats, but I still can't imagine that a purely vegan diet being well-advised for dogs.


www.leslielovesveggies.net
 
2013-07-23 07:02:02 PM
You can't own property, man.
 
2013-07-23 07:05:11 PM

kronicfeld: You can't own property, man.


I can, but that's because I'm not a penniless hippy.
 
2013-07-23 07:11:19 PM

Slaxl: kronicfeld: You can't own property, man.

I can, but that's because I'm not a penniless hippy.


I'll go get some more bricks
 
2013-07-23 07:33:30 PM

RexTalionis: [24.media.tumblr.com image 633x592]


Came for this - satisfied.
 
2013-07-23 07:38:51 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-07-23 07:42:04 PM
I'll bet cats would hate the taste of vegans. Let's see...
 
2013-07-23 07:49:45 PM
"We taught a lion to eat tofu.  Last week we put liquid paper on a bee.  It died."

i2.cdn.turner.com
 
2013-07-23 08:14:28 PM
I'm sure it was thrilled.
 
2013-07-23 08:14:31 PM
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-07-23 08:15:59 PM

Wall_of_Doodoo: Jesus Christ, being vegan seems like a whole lotta friggin work for such a crappy bit of payoff.

If I thought it would actually work I'd dedicate a weekend or two to teaching our cats to open their own cans of Friskies so I would have to keep up with the tedious two cans twice a day regimen.

Besides have you guys tasted that meat stuff?! It is freakin yummy! And it comes in so many varieties!


Vegans don't always follow the diet just for health reasons, but moral ones. Some believe it's wrong to eat animals.
 
2013-07-23 08:16:25 PM
FTA:  It remained in hospital for three days after which the kitten's owners were given meat to feed their pet at home, she said.

They gave the cat back? WTF?
 
2013-07-23 08:17:03 PM

Pray 4 Mojo: Whaddya know... some vegans are stupid.


Some?
 
2013-07-23 08:17:48 PM
I dated a girl once whose roomate was a vegan massage therapist and image consultant.

While the girl was plenty nice, she was about 5'8 she weight about 95 lbs and her fingers felt like skeletor tickling your back no strength at all in them.  She also used a crystal for deodorant and used to hand make all of her beauty products, which meant that sludge in the fridge might be hummus, was really an all natural anus bleaching cream.
 
2013-07-23 08:17:49 PM

dv-ous: FTA:  It remained in hospital for three days after which the kitten's owners were given meat to feed their pet at home, she said.

They gave the cat back? WTF?


They should have given it to PETA.
 
amo [TotalFark]
2013-07-23 08:18:12 PM

dv-ous: FTA:  It remained in hospital for three days after which the kitten's owners were given meat to feed their pet at home, she said.

They gave the cat back? WTF?


This.
 
2013-07-23 08:19:21 PM

pyrotek85: Wall_of_Doodoo: Jesus Christ, being vegan seems like a whole lotta friggin work for such a crappy bit of payoff.

If I thought it would actually work I'd dedicate a weekend or two to teaching our cats to open their own cans of Friskies so I would have to keep up with the tedious two cans twice a day regimen.

Besides have you guys tasted that meat stuff?! It is freakin yummy! And it comes in so many varieties!

Vegans don't always follow the diet just for health reasons, but moral ones. Some believe it's wrong to eat animals.


So do Hindus, yet they have no problem with cheese and eggs. Vegans imply that Hindus are cruel to animals. That always cracks me up.
 
2013-07-23 08:21:46 PM
Goddamn it you piece of shiat morons.

Cats are obligate FARKING CARNIVORES, which means THEY FARKING EAT MEAT.

I hate animal cruelty.
 
2013-07-23 08:21:57 PM
Was it an Asian lion?
 
2013-07-23 08:22:02 PM

RexTalionis: [24.media.tumblr.com image 633x592]


*cough*
 
2013-07-23 08:22:29 PM

meat0918: Goddamn it you piece of shiat morons.

Cats are obligate FARKING CARNIVORES, which means THEY FARKING EAT MEAT.

I hate animal cruelty.


This. How farking dumb are those people.
 
2013-07-23 08:22:49 PM
I did not evolve binocular vision, a short digestive tract without a compartmentalized stomach to hunt broccoli.
 
2013-07-23 08:23:34 PM

kronicfeld: You can't own property, man.


heahea.org
 
2013-07-23 08:23:59 PM
Dogs can have a vegan diet if you know what you're doing. They would need certain supplements to supply specific nutrients though.

Cats on a vegan diet? The problem is their bodies just can't process certain nutrients unless it's in the form of meat. You could probably get away with a low/no-meat diet if fed supplements that provided retinol, taurine, and arachidonic acid (note they simply cannot process these things from plant matter). And a Vitamin A supplement as well probably. Even then, I can't imagine it'd be a healthy cat.
 
2013-07-23 08:24:52 PM

AdolfOliverPanties: "We taught a lion to eat tofu.  Last week we put liquid paper on a bee.  It died."

[i2.cdn.turner.com image 340x248]


For those of you just joining us, today we're teaching poodles how to fly.
 
2013-07-23 08:26:35 PM

theflatline: I dated a girl once whose roomate was a vegan massage therapist and image consultant.

While the girl was plenty nice, she was about 5'8 she weight about 95 lbs and her fingers felt like skeletor tickling your back no strength at all in them.  She also used a crystal for deodorant and used to hand make all of her beauty products, which meant that sludge in the fridge might be hummus, was really an all natural anus bleaching cream.


Actually, that crystal for deodorant thing is worth looking into...
 
2013-07-23 08:26:57 PM

DarwiOdrade: RexTalionis: [24.media.tumblr.com image 633x592]

Came for this - satisfied.


I was a little surprised it took 3 posts though.
 
2013-07-23 08:27:22 PM

pyrotek85: Wall_of_Doodoo: Jesus Christ, being vegan seems like a whole lotta friggin work for such a crappy bit of payoff.

If I thought it would actually work I'd dedicate a weekend or two to teaching our cats to open their own cans of Friskies so I would have to keep up with the tedious two cans twice a day regimen.

Besides have you guys tasted that meat stuff?! It is freakin yummy! And it comes in so many varieties!

Vegans don't always follow the diet just for health reasons, but moral ones. Some believe it's wrong to eat animals.


Vegans are not vegetarians.  Vegans are all about ideology.  Some Vegetarians believe it's wrong to eat animals.  The Vegan ideology means that all vegans believe it's wrong to eat animals.  If you think it's okay to eat animals, then there is no reason for you to be a Vegan.

"We don't wear silk because silk worms make it."
"We don't eat honey because a bee labors for it."
"We don't drink milk because a cow was abused to get it."
"We avoid clothes with colors and dyes that may have used animal fats or charred bones."
"We don't drink the monkey picked teas when we go to Teavana"
etc
 
2013-07-23 08:27:41 PM

dv-ous: FTA:  It remained in hospital for three days after which the kitten's owners were given meat to feed their pet at home, she said.

They gave the cat back? WTF?


They get eight more tries with this cat.
 
2013-07-23 08:28:09 PM
In the shower, we heard strangers ring our doorbell twice.
We were dripping when they told us of their view:
How the lion will be lying... with the little mice
When the glorious prediction comes true.

So, we asked them as we dried off what this really meant:
Vicious pumas, will they settle for fondue?
Will the weasels stop their golfing with the president
When the glorious prediction comes true?
 
2013-07-23 08:28:47 PM
"We don't wear silk because silk worms make it."
"We don't eat honey because a bee labors for it."
"We don't drink milk because a cow was abused to get it."
"We avoid clothes with colors and dyes that may have used animal fats or charred bones."
"We don't drink the monkey picked teas when we go to Teavana"
etc


We don't use tobacco because we do think, that the people who use it are likely to drink!
 
2013-07-23 08:30:53 PM

PC LOAD LETTER: pyrotek85: Wall_of_Doodoo: Jesus Christ, being vegan seems like a whole lotta friggin work for such a crappy bit of payoff.

If I thought it would actually work I'd dedicate a weekend or two to teaching our cats to open their own cans of Friskies so I would have to keep up with the tedious two cans twice a day regimen.

Besides have you guys tasted that meat stuff?! It is freakin yummy! And it comes in so many varieties!

Vegans don't always follow the diet just for health reasons, but moral ones. Some believe it's wrong to eat animals.

So do Hindus, yet they have no problem with cheese and eggs. Vegans imply that Hindus are cruel to animals. That always cracks me up.


Well, I think to them, or some of them, it is about the animal as a slave to our diet.  Even if we do not eat it, we enslave it for milk and eggs.

//had steak for dinner.
 
2013-07-23 08:31:02 PM

scottydoesntknow: Slaxl: kronicfeld: You can't own property, man.

I can, but that's because I'm not a penniless hippy.

I'll go get some more bricks


Is this man your friend?

No...

*glom*

This can't be happening!

---

The Saturday Morning Fun Pit was a good episode.  I'm gonna miss that show.  Until I get all of the seasons on DVD/BluRay/whatever they come out with.

\Hey, Comedy Central, stop editing out the jokes on older episodes to save space for more ads.  It's annoying.  And a bit of sacrilege, to boot.  Boots with crrrazy green stripes!  I mean, how will we know what she'd gonna do next if you cut it short?  HOW?!?!?!

\Off to my Angry Dome
 
2013-07-23 08:31:40 PM

mithras_angel: AdolfOliverPanties: "We taught a lion to eat tofu.  Last week we put liquid paper on a bee.  It died."

[i2.cdn.turner.com image 340x248]

For those of you just joining us, today we're teaching poodles how to fly.


*barkbarkbark... THUD*

Oh, man... Sometimes it takes them a little while to get it right...
 
2013-07-23 08:32:11 PM
I was curious what exactly what exactly was missing in the vegan diet (other than slim protein derr) and apparently cats cannot biochemically synthesize retinol, taurine, arachadonic acid and some other molecules from vegetable matter precursors. So yeah they really do have to eat other animals unless these missing components are specifically added to a vegan diet. Anyways thought that was interesting.
 
2013-07-23 08:32:24 PM

PC LOAD LETTER: pyrotek85: Wall_of_Doodoo: Jesus Christ, being vegan seems like a whole lotta friggin work for such a crappy bit of payoff.

If I thought it would actually work I'd dedicate a weekend or two to teaching our cats to open their own cans of Friskies so I would have to keep up with the tedious two cans twice a day regimen.

Besides have you guys tasted that meat stuff?! It is freakin yummy! And it comes in so many varieties!

Vegans don't always follow the diet just for health reasons, but moral ones. Some believe it's wrong to eat animals.

So do Hindus, yet they have no problem with cheese and eggs. Vegans imply that Hindus are cruel to animals. That always cracks me up.


My wife is a vegetarian for moral reasons.  She eats eggs and some cheese, but not most, because most of it is cultured with 'enzymes' aka 'rennet'.  You know where rennet comes from?  Mammals stomachs.  You know where the milk from cheese comes from?  Cows that are kept pregnant 12 months out of the year.  You know what happens to the baby calves that are born but not desired, especially if they're males?  Well, now you know where rennet comes from!

So, yeah, 99% of the cheese out there is made from animal cruelty.

(American cheese is okay because it's just vegetable oil and food coloring, and so are ones listed as containing vegetarian rennet)

Eggs are okay, because the ones sold in stores are not fertilized, they would never have become a chicken.

The worst part of it all is - vegetarian cheese tastes awful.

The more you know!
 
2013-07-23 08:32:44 PM
The problem with living "healthy" to add years to your life is that it adds them to the wrong end. After seeing all those old folks in the rehabilitation center my grandmother is currently at, do you think I have any desire to live well into my 80's or 90's?

Two words: HELL & NO.
 
2013-07-23 08:32:50 PM

Supes: Dogs can have a vegan diet if you know what you're doing. They would need certain supplements to supply specific nutrients though.

Cats on a vegan diet? The problem is their bodies just can't process certain nutrients unless it's in the form of meat. You could probably get away with a low/no-meat diet if fed supplements that provided retinol, taurine, and arachidonic acid (note they simply cannot process these things from plant matter). And a Vitamin A supplement as well probably. Even then, I can't imagine it'd be a healthy cat.

owners are complete dumbasses who shouldn't be allowed to own carnivores as pets.

My cats eat better than I do, dammit. But they're cuter, so there's that.
 
2013-07-23 08:33:46 PM

RexTalionis: [24.media.tumblr.com image 633x592]


Check and mate.
 
2013-07-23 08:34:35 PM

Jabberwookiee: dv-ous: FTA:  It remained in hospital for three days after which the kitten's owners were given meat to feed their pet at home, she said.

They gave the cat back? WTF?

They should have given it to PETA.


What? You wanted them to gas the kitten? Because that's all PETA is likely to do with it. At that point, why even save the kitten at all?
 
2013-07-23 08:34:46 PM

DarwiOdrade: RexTalionis: [24.media.tumblr.com image 633x592]

Came for this - satisfied.


Is this the new thing?  Coming for something explicitly referenced in the headline as if posting a picture of it is clever?
 
2013-07-23 08:35:20 PM
Carrots
Tofu
Chard and beets
Kings of the jungle were meant to eat meat

And I'm thinking bout stupidity
Some vegan bullshiat got a hold of me.

/Hungry like the lions are
 
2013-07-23 08:35:29 PM

pyrotek85: Wall_of_Doodoo: Jesus Christ, being vegan seems like a whole lotta friggin work for such a crappy bit of payoff.

If I thought it would actually work I'd dedicate a weekend or two to teaching our cats to open their own cans of Friskies so I would have to keep up with the tedious two cans twice a day regimen.

Besides have you guys tasted that meat stuff?! It is freakin yummy! And it comes in so many varieties!

Vegans don't always follow the diet just for health reasons, but moral ones. Some believe it's wrong to eat animals.


Too bad for them evolution disagrees.
 
2013-07-23 08:35:55 PM
Assholes!! They shouldn't have been allowed to get their cat back. And they should be banned from ever owning an animal again!!
 
2013-07-23 08:36:49 PM
Ironically, if the thing had eaten tofu it probably would have been okay (if not super healthy).

/That is if this story isn't a load of bullshiat, which it sure reads like it is
 
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