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(New York Daily News)   Subway employees fired, one for the old dick-on-a-bun trick, the other for freezing his pee. Both now hold substantial leads in New York Democratic primaries   (nydailynews.com) divider line 55
    More: Dumbass, Subway, Instagram, democratic primary, sandwich artists, pullman loaf  
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55 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-07-23 11:56:35 AM  
Great headline, submitter!
 
2013-07-23 11:56:42 AM  
He's a sandwich artist.  The bread was his canvas. His cock was the brush with which he used his master stroke.
 
2013-07-23 11:57:08 AM  
Eat fresh, indeed.
 
2013-07-23 12:00:51 PM  
Enjoy the rest of your unemployable lives, gentlemen. I'm still stunned that anyone feels the need to show the world their bad behavior by posting things on the net.
 
2013-07-23 12:01:45 PM  
That's not enough extra meat for me and it isn't a full foot long like you said it was.
 
2013-07-23 12:01:54 PM  
Hope the cock on the bun guy gets stabbed in the head with a pitchfork, just for being a farking moron....

/he "did it at home"?  Really, you have uncooked Subway bread at your house?
 
2013-07-23 12:02:27 PM  
Would you like a pisscicle with your sandwich today?
 
2013-07-23 12:04:00 PM  
That's an awfully small censoring you have there.
assets.nydailynews.com

/Perhaps subway should start offering the 3" sandwich
 
2013-07-23 12:04:30 PM  

Abuse Liability: That's an awfully small censoring you have there.
[assets.nydailynews.com image 635x629]

/Perhaps subway should start offering the 3" sandwich


He should have chubbed up a bit before doing that.
 
2013-07-23 12:05:06 PM  
You want to buy the cheapest possible meats, cheeses, bread and workers you're going to get slimy meats greasy cheeses stale breads and gross workers. "Eat Fresh...cum"
 
2013-07-23 12:05:33 PM  

FarkedOver: Abuse Liability: That's an awfully small censoring you have there.
[assets.nydailynews.com image 635x629]

/Perhaps subway should start offering the 3" sandwich

He should have chubbed up a bit before doing that.


Amateur.  If he had a Fark account he'd know this.  Always chub up before you send the WIE
 
2013-07-23 12:05:44 PM  

skinink: Enjoy the rest of your unemployable lives, gentlemen. I'm still stunned that anyone feels the need to show the world their bad behavior by posting things on the net.


Don't be. People have always done stupid shiat. At one point in time, it would have been brought up amongst friends, who would have passed it along to others and your exploits would have become urban legend. Now, folks are skipping the middle man and just posting shiat to social media. I say, let them. It keeps us entertained so we can laugh at these idiots, and it makes employers jobs easy when it comes to hiring.
 
2013-07-23 12:06:09 PM  
This kind of thing has been happening in minimum wages jobs forever.  You should be happy that the modern idiots publicize it and get fired.
 
2013-07-23 12:06:16 PM  

FarkedOver: He's a sandwich artist.  The bread was his canvas. His cock was the brush with which he used his master stroke.


http://www.pricasso.com/ (NSFW)
 
2013-07-23 12:07:28 PM  
So, we have come around the bend to "any publicity is good publicity" again?
Didn't work all that well in the past.

But now we know why a "foot long" is not 12".
Penis Math.
 
2013-07-23 12:15:42 PM  
This got greenlit? I just tried submitting it and got the message that it was posted on Fark's main page 12 hours ago!
 
2013-07-23 12:17:11 PM  
Awww, yes.  Another reason to never go there.
 
2013-07-23 12:17:25 PM  
What's with all the repeats today?
 
2013-07-23 12:19:28 PM  
And what no love for the balls too? They wanna pose on that sandwich. He could have made a meatball sack sandwich.

And now we know why the parmesan bread tastes so cheesey.


/smegma
 
2013-07-23 12:19:53 PM  

LeroyBourne: Awww, yes.  Another reason to never go there.


Yes because there is no way this could happen at any other restaurant, ever.
 
2013-07-23 12:20:09 PM  

chevydeuce: Hope the cock on the bun guy gets stabbed in the head with a pitchfork, just for being a farking moron....

/he "did it at home"?  Really, you have uncooked Subway bread at your house?


Yeah, uncooked bread and a Subway bread tray.  Not buying it being "at home".

The good thing is, while it's kind of icky, the heat would have killed anything actually harmful that might have been on his dick.
 
2013-07-23 12:21:01 PM  

DarkVader: The good thing is, while it's kind of icky, the heat would have killed anything actually harmful that might have been on his dick.


I still don't want to eat the dick bread.
 
2013-07-23 12:21:05 PM  
That ain't mayo in the tuna salad either
 
2013-07-23 12:21:47 PM  

darth_badger: And what no love for the balls too? They wanna pose on that sandwich. He could have made a meatball sack sandwich.

And now we know why the parmesan bread tastes so cheesey.


/smegma


You hardly see the word "teabag" these days.
Was so popular for a while.
 
2013-07-23 12:22:08 PM  
Remind me again, why do we eat things made by people with no investment in the future of me still being alive tomorrow, the future of me feeling good tomorrow, even the future of the place they're working at?
 
2013-07-23 12:22:31 PM  
Just don't ask where the mayonnaise comes from.
 
2013-07-23 12:23:25 PM  
Do they have Subway restaurants in England? Or is it called "The Tube" over there? 'Cause I don't know if I want to eat at a place called The Tube.
 
2013-07-23 12:24:34 PM  

Archie Goodwin: Just don't ask where the mayonnaise comes cums from.


FTFY
 
2013-07-23 12:25:32 PM  

DarkVader: chevydeuce: Hope the cock on the bun guy gets stabbed in the head with a pitchfork, just for being a farking moron....

/he "did it at home"?  Really, you have uncooked Subway bread at your house?

Yeah, uncooked bread and a Subway bread tray.  Not buying it being "at home".

The good thing is, while it's kind of icky, the heat would have killed anything actually harmful that might have been on his dick.


Oh no. It's extremely icky. After my brother spent almost two years assistant managing a Taco Bell, I'll never eat there again. They recycle their "meat", over and over and over. The "meat" is mostly soy protein and other fillers, and one may expect some of that "meat" in the mix to be at least a month old.
 
2013-07-23 12:27:12 PM  

snocone: darth_badger: And what no love for the balls too? They wanna pose on that sandwich. He could have made a meatball sack sandwich.

And now we know why the parmesan bread tastes so cheesey.


/smegma

You hardly see the word "teabag" these days.
Was so popular for a while.


Oh you see teabag all the time, it's just hiding from us behind the suffix 'gers'
 
2013-07-23 12:27:14 PM  
Heh.

Just remembered, I have actually done worse in a Subway.  As in, actually had sex on one of the tables.
 
2013-07-23 12:27:44 PM  

DarkVader: Heh.

Just remembered, I have actually done worse in a Subway.  As in, actually had sex on one of the tables.


I ate a dick sandwich on a dick table!? dammit.
 
2013-07-23 12:27:58 PM  
"Subway Sandwich Artists".  Neat way to say "Minimum Wage Earner"...
 
2013-07-23 12:28:42 PM  

skinink: Enjoy the rest of your unemployable lives, gentlemen. I'm still stunned that anyone feels the need to show the world their bad behavior by posting things on the net.


You really think that these two are unemployable?  My first job was at a grocery store.  While I was there I scratched the hell out of three cars (one of them still had the dealer plates) with a shopping cart, showed up to work four times wearing the name tag from a different grocery store (I have a very common first name, finding another employee in a competing grocery store with my name wasn't hard, even finding one with my same name who hated their job enough to trade name tags with me wasn't hard), when ever I had to put eggs back on the shelf, I did so by putting each egg individually in on the self in random locations in the store and finished by putting the empty carton back with the rest of the eggs.  More than once purposely put bread on the bottom of grocery backs, then added two liter bottles of soda.  Got written up and yelled at for 30 minutes by a female boss for suggesting that the promotion from bagger to cashier was based on gender (a female can go from bagger to cashier in a matter of hours, a male can make that same move in a matter of weeks.  But to ask a manager why that is was sexist).  After four months of this, I was fired (the last straw: I went on break as scheduled but no one noticed).  When applying for my next job, I omitted that I ever had a job before.

Now my resume has so many over lappings from part time jobs and MLMs that I was a part of that if I got fired from a job I can simply not put it on my resume and the timeline doesn't any gaps in employment.
 
2013-07-23 12:29:36 PM  
 
2013-07-23 12:30:28 PM  

tricycleracer: This kind of thing has been happening in minimum wages jobs forever.  You should be happy that the modern idiots publicize it and get fired.


Indeed.  What's the old saying?  "Let he who has not unknowingly eaten dick via proxy cast the first load."  Or something like that...
 
2013-07-23 12:31:28 PM  

Abuse Liability: That's an awfully small censoring you have there.
[assets.nydailynews.com image 635x629]

/Perhaps subway should start offering the 3" sandwich



So, you like them larger, huh?
 
2013-07-23 12:32:09 PM  

DarkVader: Heh.

Just remembered, I have actually done worse in a Subway.  As in, actually had sex on one of the tables.


#1  that's not worse.
#2  pics or it didn't happen
 
2013-07-23 12:32:13 PM  
1. Cut a hole in the bun.
 
2013-07-23 12:33:39 PM  
I, for one, prefer the pie.

/warm
 
2013-07-23 12:34:33 PM  
Am I sacked? Should I go?
nathanieljones.com
I'm probably sacked
 
2013-07-23 12:36:36 PM  

tricycleracer: This kind of thing has been happening in minimum wages jobs forever.  You should be happy that the modern idiots publicize it and get fired.


Every minimum wage job I had involved me stealing from my employers, being rude to customers, calling in sick when I just didn't want to come into work, and over all not giving a shiat.  When threatened with firing I would just tell the manager "Go ahead, I make minimum wage so it's not like anyone's going to pay me less or give a damn that I got fired from a minimum waged job."  I once told the manager "Good luck finding someone to take this job."  and he picked up a stack of applications and said "I can have you replaced tomorrow."  Last time I used that line against a manager.
 
2013-07-23 12:39:14 PM  

DarkVader: Heh.

Just remembered, I have actually done worse in a Subway.  As in, actually had sex on one of the tables.


My buddy worked at one long before the $5 footlong made them kind of popular. It was always really slow. Never more than two customers at a time. On Friday's after he closed the store, we'd underage drink (since we couldn't take the booze home). It was a nice warm place to go to get off of the street and not have to follow rules. Never had sex there though.
 
2013-07-23 12:39:30 PM  

FeFiFoFark: DarkVader: Heh.

Just remembered, I have actually done worse in a Subway.  As in, actually had sex on one of the tables.

#1  that's not worse.
#2  pics or it didn't happen


#1  you're probably right.
#2  it was almost 20 years ago, cameras weren't so convenient back then.  there aren't pics.
 
2013-07-23 12:40:22 PM  
Was the guy named Nick?

www.kino-teatr.ru
 
2013-07-23 12:42:35 PM  

Great Janitor: tricycleracer: This kind of thing has been happening in minimum wages jobs forever.  You should be happy that the modern idiots publicize it and get fired.

Every minimum wage job I had involved me stealing from my employers, being rude to customers, calling in sick when I just didn't want to come into work, and over all not giving a shiat.  When threatened with firing I would just tell the manager "Go ahead, I make minimum wage so it's not like anyone's going to pay me less or give a damn that I got fired from a minimum waged job."  I once told the manager "Good luck finding someone to take this job."  and he picked up a stack of applications and said "I can have you replaced tomorrow." Last time I used that line against a manager.



Ouch. Dagger.

/Hats off to you for giving his line the props it deserved, even though you were the victim of the burn.
 
2013-07-23 12:49:46 PM  
"I would never do that at work -- it was at home," Jett told the Huffington Post. "This isn't something I'd ever do at Subway. It was totally a joke."


Farking liar... I have worked at a subway, and unless you have been stealing their supplies and equipment,  then you did that at subway...
 
2013-07-23 12:55:19 PM  

Maul555: "I would never do that at work -- it was at home," Jett told the Huffington Post. "This isn't something I'd ever do at Subway. It was totally a joke."


Farking liar... I have worked at a subway, and unless you have been stealing their supplies and equipment,  then you did that at subway...


And who hasn't stolen supplies from work?  From a job interview last week:

Them: "What can you bring to this job that no one else can?"
Me: "About $1,500 in stolen office supplies from my previous employer."
 
2013-07-23 12:57:37 PM  
 
2013-07-23 12:58:00 PM  

Great Janitor: Maul555: "I would never do that at work -- it was at home," Jett told the Huffington Post. "This isn't something I'd ever do at Subway. It was totally a joke."


Farking liar... I have worked at a subway, and unless you have been stealing their supplies and equipment,  then you did that at subway...

And who hasn't stolen supplies from work?  From a job interview last week:

Them: "What can you bring to this job that no one else can?"
Me: "About $1,500 in stolen office supplies from my previous employer."


so you expect me to believe that he loves their bread soo much that he stole a bunch of frozen bread and the proprietary baking sheets they use, and decided to put that down on his stainless steel preparation table that he happens to have in his home kitchen?
 
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